The Jimquisition: Five Golden Rules For Steam Early Access Games

Steam’s Early Access program is not the worst idea in the world. It is, however, STUFFED with some of the worst ideas in the world. Alleged developers are taking the wholesale piss out of the system, and it’s really quite gauche.

As always, Jim Sterling is here with common sense ways of solving the problem. It’s basically just some annoyed rambling about why games are shit and why they shouldn’t be, but that’s what we’re all here for!

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What’s Really Really REEEEAAAALLY Going On In Bloodborne

Much has been made of Bloodborne‘s mysterious and often confusing plot. What is the Night of the Hunt? Exactly how did the Healing Church come to be? What is the true nature of the Great Ones, and the sinister Chalice Dungeons from which they seem to have sprung? The city of Yharnam is an old and shrouded place, and like any good From Software title, it drips in history and lore. Recently, Rich Stanton wrote an excellent breakdown of the game’s plot, but as brilliant as his writing is… he’s simply wrong. Every theory I’ve ever read about the game is wrong, wrong, wrong.

Through extensive research and thinking about things while sat on the toilet, I’ve connected the dots and figured out what’s really supposed to be happening in Bloodborne. It’s a plot that spans multiple games – multiple franchises, even – and crafts an intricate spider’s web of plot threads and secrets. Director Hidetaka Miyazaki has created something truly mindblowing here, and I’m about to take the lid off the soup can!

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Podquisition Episode 20: Sex With A Man-Parrot

On this week’s intrepid audio adventure, we talk about having sex with cars and various were-animals, because why the heck not? We also discuss Jim’s three-day Dark Souls binge and what it’s done to his psyche, and TRY not to ramble on about Bloodborne again.

Also, Gav and Laura had been drinking prior to the recording. It’s actually surprising how non-obnoxious they are, because they’re professionals through and through. Still, Gav REALLY wants you to know he’s been drinking!

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Podquisition Episode 19: Iwata Does A Poo Poo

On this week’s perfectly sensible episode, we discuss Iwata doing a massive poo on Nintendo Direct, something that will definitely happen one day. We also talk about how Jim is 100% medically not-quite-dying, and Laura took a selfie with the corpse of a schoolgirl.

Gavin has finally played Bloodborne, so for all of you who are sick to death of the idea of people enjoying games that you don’t like, be warned – Gavin likes Bloodborne. A lot.

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