The Witcher 3 review coming soon, but check out these FUCKING masks

Okay, so I’m working on a review for The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt but I didn’t get the code until a few days ago and it’s basically a million years long. However, as I stated in this week’s Jimquisition episode, I can confirm there are masks you may buy, and Geralt will wear them like a bloody great idiot. It’s brilliant.

It later turns out that these masks are part of a mission, but I didn’t need to fulfill that objective when the time came because I found them earlier and bought them all, yelling excitedly as I did. Obviously I did.

If I’d gotten the PC version of the game like I wanted then I’d have made lovely screenshots for you. Instead, I frantically took shitty pictures with my phone, my fingers shaking with mask-flavored anticipation. God, I fucking love masks.

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The Jimquisition: When Publishers Kick, Developers Start

The age of the re-animators is here. Game genres previously thought “dead” by so-called AAA publishers are getting their revival thanks to the crowdfunding efforts of such projects as Pillars of Eternity, Yooka-Laylee, and Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night.

The big-budget world has made the message quite clear – it neither wants nor needs creative, passionate developers anymore. It would rather clone Clash of Clans and Call of Duty all day. Fine. Creative, passionate developers don’t need the big-budget world either.

As sad as this year’s been for games, we’re still in a potential golden age.

Podquisition Episode 25: Fight The Iconic Oppression

On this week’s episode, we celebrate Kickstarter’s recent surge of fresh interest, and damn Assassin’s Creed: Syndicate with faint praise. Unless we’re Gavin, in which case we’re disgustingly excited.

We also chat tactics in Splatoon, and have a far-too serious discussion on the nature of fan art. It’s a meaty episode through-and-through, so sit back and enjoy!

You can listen/download directly here and get the RSS feed here.

Also, check out Laura Kate’s Patreon page!

Also also, check out Miracle of Sound’s channel!

Crabs With Udders

Okay, so technically this isn’t related to videogames in a direct sense. I know, I know, I’m betraying everything I stand for and will soon be reviewing Game of Thrones episodes in a desperate bid to keep an audience!

It’s not that bad though, and it does involve Jimquisition fans doing something ridiculous just because I mentioned it in a video.

See, I was playing Shrooms on YouTube and talking about crabs with udders. I thought about crabs with udders because I misread something while playing Selfie: Sisters of the Amniotic Lens that made me think about crabs getting milked.

Anyway, I was discussing how impractical it would be, see, to have an Uddered Crab. The udder would be swollen underneath, engorged with delicious Crab Milk, while its little legs would be lifted off the ground. It’d need to be milked, but crab pincers are too sharp to tug at sensitive, lactating teats. So, we’d need another animal – chiefly a seagull with fingers where its beak should be. That’s obvious genetic sense.

At any rate, I jokingly mentioned at the end of my Shrooms video that someone should draw a crab with udders. People did. Lots of people. Lots of ridiculous people. The talent and dedication to silliness was too good to not preserve somewhere, and this is really my only outlet for it. So here we are – at least somewhat born from a game conversation and therefore somehow maybe game-related – a gallery of crabs with udders.

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Yooka-Laylee Interview: PlayTonic Games Delivers A Rare Treat Indeed

Yooka-Laylee‘s success has been staggering. Within forty minutes of launching on Kickstarter, this “Rare-vival” from PlayTonic Games reached its funding goal while the cash keeps pouring in. A spiritual successor to Banjo-Kazooie, featuring a team of former Rare colleagues, Yooka-Laylee arrives in a world where mascot platformers are “dead” and publishers tell us we’re not interested in cute, colorful collect-a-thons anymore.

Despite the erasure of such games from the so-called “AAA” industry, it seems there are many, many gamers out there with a hunger for PlayTonic’s offerings, and a willingness to support it with cash – myself included. Yep, I happily backed this one myself, because any resurrection of a genre that sticks it to corporate, focus-tested mandates is something I can get behind. Igavania says hi, by the way!

I got to speak to the team at PlayTonic about the project’s success, the upcoming challenges, worries from fans, and a whole lot more. It’s real good reading, settle the bloody hell down and get reading as I chat with Chris Sutherland, Gavin Price, Steve Mayles, Jens Restemeier, Steven Hurst, and Mark Stevenson – practically the whole flippin’ team!

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The Jimquisition: R.I.P. P.T. – Why We Can’t Keep Nice Things

Konami has erased P.T. from the PlayStation Network, killing what it probably saw as little more than a commercial for a now-canceled game. Thing is, it was more than a commercial. It was more than a GAME. It was a crucial piece of history that Konami has erased.

This doesn’t matter to game publishers, but it should matter to us. The digital age is coming, and companies get to decide what becomes history and what becomes forgotten. We can’t archive anything, and we should care.

P.S: This video comes with my best wishes to SupperBunnyHop, whose excellent investigation into Konami’s behavior has recently been hit with a DMCA-esque takedown notice by the publisher. Fuck Konami.  

Podquisition Episode 24: For Caffeine We Mourn

Two thirds of the Podquisition team have now given up caffeine and it’s ruining their lives, while Gavin sips wine and haughtily sits upon a throne of misery. Happy birthday, Gav!

We talk about Steam Greenlight’s latest problems, why Konami is rubbish for trying to erase P.T. from history, and have a giggle talking about Wolfenstein: The Old Blood.

All of this and much, much more can be yours to enjoy. Right now. NOW!