Metabombed: NBA 2K18 Is ‘The Definition Of Pay To Win’

In case you haven’t heard, NBA 2K18 is a mess of microtransactions, having adopted a full-on freemium economy in a $60 game. This isn’t just cosmetic stuff either – the game’s dominated by “Virtual Currency” that seems ripped from the shadiest of F2P mobile games.

2K Games’ greed was so immense that even the regular games media cared about it, an increasing rarity in a world where scummy business practices are becoming prevalent enough to generate only apathy from many reporters.

Anyway, let’s just cut to the chase. It’s obvious this wallet-flaying game was going to be review bombed to hell, so it’s time to launch the METABOMB and revel in public outrage yet again.

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Metabombed: Destiny 2 Is ‘A Lie In A $60 Box’

As both a professional hater of the corporate machine and a videogame critic, one must walk a fine line between providing information on distasteful business practices and measuring said practices against the positive accomplishments of any given piece of work.

User reviews are subject to no such concerns, which is why METABOMBING a game for any reason in particular happens so often.

Destiny 2 is, for my money, a damn great game. A great game undoubtedly held back to some degree by Activision’s monetization tactics. I might have to take the time to weigh the good against the ill, but Metacritic’s community reviewers have let their feelings known with both barrels.

As you’d expect.

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Metabombed: Mass Effect: Andromeda Is ‘Unbelievably Sad’

The review teardown of Mass Effect: Andromeda was something of a slow burn – while we can normally post a Metabomb article within a day or two of the game’s release, it took some time for the grudge against BioWare’s latest to push back those defending it.

I’m not exactly sure when the scales finally tipped, but as the humble historian who catalogues such things, it is my duty to inform you that Andromeda has been Metabombed!

Yeah, it’s ages since the game came out, but sod it. Let’s do what we usually do anyway. It’s content, right?

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The Jimquisition Reposition

When The Jimquisition first started, it was just me, a microphone, and a plain white background. I’d toss in a little picture-in-picture for emphasis, but the stark set and unscripted rambling were not particularly impressive.

It worked for its time. I cut my teeth at Destructoid, where low production value was all part of the charm. The audience enjoyed scrappy content, independent bloggers getting by on what they could cobble together. In part, it’s still how I operate, but when the show moved to The Escapist, that operation needed to evolve.
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Why Brash Games Should Apologize

[Note from Jim: Ben McCurry made headlines last week for his amazing review of Pac-Man 256, in which he detailed the shoddy business practices of his own publication knowing full well they wouldn’t check it before it went up.

Brash Games, his previous employer (read: exploiter) has become notorious for not paying staff, altering writers’ review scores, and removing credit for work if somebody quits. Since Brash doesn’t pay its writers, I decided to pay a former Brash writer to talk about his experience. Because I can. 

There will also be more on Brash this Monday. You know what that means.

I now hand you over to Ben McCurry himself!]

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Mortal Kombat: Annihilation Is The Best Worst Movie I’ve Seen

For an upcoming episode of The Spin-off Doctors, I had to watch Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. I’ve always liked the first one for the B-movie cheese it was but had dreaded the sequel, its reputation as a truly awful film preceding it.

I wish I’d watched it sooner, because Annihilation is easily the best bad film I’ve seen. I’m even including top-tier trash like The Room and Troll 2 in that list. No movie is as consistently fucked up, as relentlessly packed with nonsense, as Mortal Kombat: Annihilation.

To prime you for our upcoming… assessment… and to try and convince you to ruin your Saturday night, here’s a pictorial tour through some of the movie’s “best” moments.

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Metabombed: Mass Effect: Andromeda Is ‘Pure SJW Propaganda’

It’s a new Mass Effect, so you know what means – it’s time for everyone to behave like it’s 28 Days Later!

Yes, Mass Effect: Andromeda is the latest game from BioWare, a studio with a ton of fans who seem to be angry all of the time. This latest installment has certainly given rise to some outrage, with poor dialog, unpopular gameplay mechanics, and character animations that range from hilarious to ghastly.

Also, apparently “liberalism” is the reason this happened? What a time to be alive!

Do you think this game got Metabombed? Oh friend, they’re Metabombing the shit out of this one!

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Check Out These Turkeys I Fucked Up In Horizon: Zero Dawn

Horizon: Zero Dawn is a fantastic game, which you’d know if you’d read my review.

One thing I did not mention in my original criticism, however, is just how many turkeys I totally fucked up. Zero Dawn is a game in which you can fuck up as many turkeys as you desire, which is good because fuck ’em, y’know?

Obviously, The Jimquisition does not condone the fucking up of turkeys in real life. Only videogame turkeys.

Fuck those videogame turkeys.

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