Why Brash Games Should Apologize

[Note from Jim: Ben McCurry made headlines last week for his amazing review of Pac-Man 256, in which he detailed the shoddy business practices of his own publication knowing full well they wouldn’t check it before it went up.

Brash Games, his previous employer (read: exploiter) has become notorious for not paying staff, altering writers’ review scores, and removing credit for work if somebody quits. Since Brash doesn’t pay its writers, I decided to pay a former Brash writer to talk about his experience. Because I can. 

There will also be more on Brash this Monday. You know what that means.

I now hand you over to Ben McCurry himself!]

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Mortal Kombat: Annihilation Is The Best Worst Movie I’ve Seen

For an upcoming episode of The Spin-off Doctors, I had to watch Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. I’ve always liked the first one for the B-movie cheese it was but had dreaded the sequel, its reputation as a truly awful film preceding it.

I wish I’d watched it sooner, because Annihilation is easily the best bad film I’ve seen. I’m even including top-tier trash like The Room and Troll 2 in that list. No movie is as consistently fucked up, as relentlessly packed with nonsense, as Mortal Kombat: Annihilation.

To prime you for our upcoming… assessment… and to try and convince you to ruin your Saturday night, here’s a pictorial tour through some of the movie’s “best” moments.

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Metabombed: Mass Effect: Andromeda Is ‘Pure SJW Propaganda’

It’s a new Mass Effect, so you know what means – it’s time for everyone to behave like it’s 28 Days Later!

Yes, Mass Effect: Andromeda is the latest game from BioWare, a studio with a ton of fans who seem to be angry all of the time. This latest installment has certainly given rise to some outrage, with poor dialog, unpopular gameplay mechanics, and character animations that range from hilarious to ghastly.

Also, apparently “liberalism” is the reason this happened? What a time to be alive!

Do you think this game got Metabombed? Oh friend, they’re Metabombing the shit out of this one!

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Check Out These Turkeys I Fucked Up In Horizon: Zero Dawn

Horizon: Zero Dawn is a fantastic game, which you’d know if you’d read my review.

One thing I did not mention in my original criticism, however, is just how many turkeys I totally fucked up. Zero Dawn is a game in which you can fuck up as many turkeys as you desire, which is good because fuck ’em, y’know?

Obviously, The Jimquisition does not condone the fucking up of turkeys in real life. Only videogame turkeys.

Fuck those videogame turkeys.

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You’ll Be Thrilled By These Thrilling For Honor Screenshots That Thrillingly Showcase The Thrills Of For Honor

Ubisoft released the highly anticipated For Honor on Saint Valentine’s Day Twenty Seven Teen, and in just over 24 hours it has cemented its place as one of the most enthralling, absorbing videogame experiences in videogame experience history.

With its clashing swords and unflinching portrayal of a world at war, For Honor is a game for which words can only provide scant context. To really appreciate how visceral this game is you have to see it, and that’s why we’re here – to take a visceral look at Ubisoft’s latest masterpiece and revel in some high quality screen captures that promise a world of entertainment.

Here, in full color, I give you the incredible For Honor experience!

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A Look Back At The Dafoeverse, Miiverse’s Unofficial Willem Dafoe Fan Community

In the Far Long Ago of 2012, Nintendo released the Wii U. It was a good machine that failed because Nintendo is Nintendo and thought sheer arrogance could sell a console. It’s also the place Miiverse was born, an inbuilt social media service that I, for one, thought was a bloody brilliant idea.

So brilliant, in fact, Nintendo just had to fuck up and reveal it’s not coming to the Switch. Because of course.

To commemorate Nintendo’s decision to not continue with a good idea, I took a trip down memory lane so we could talk about the Miiverse’s most important contribution to society, and still a far better use of the Rabbids Land section.

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Thoughts On The Nintendo Switch Presentation

Nintendo ContentID claimed this video so I’m now presenting this as Jimquisition Dot Com material. I’ll benefit off this somehow!

Anyway, here are my initial thoughts on the presentation from last night. It was an okay presentation.

As far as what I think of some of the details that emerged after the presentation… just wait until Monday. Nintendo delivered the goods as far as material.

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The MEDIOCRE Awards 2016

The best of the best have been celebrated, the worst of the worst received their punishment, and all that’s left is the gulf of creativity in the middle. The pedestrian. The everyday. The completely unimportant.

Such cardboard pointlessness deserves attention too!

Yes, it’s time for the second annual MEDIOCRE Awards, as we pay homage not to the spectacular, but to the truly unremarkable. These were the games of 2016 that were exemplary only in their lack of excellence. Once again we “celebrate” those games that failed to wow and succeeded in being disappointments and wastes of time.

MEDIOCRE!

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