Enjoy Digpex Games’ Big Hollywood Blockbuster!

One may still wonder why Digpex Games, the alleged developer of Skate Man Intense Rescue, would be so stupid as to try to silence Jim Fucking Sterling Son with a limp YouTube copyright takedown strike. However, one need only watch Clones in Action, the studio’s short film debut, to understand it all – whatever homunculus is in charge of all this is simply no stranger to abject humiliation.

There are thematic similarities to Skate Man – this digital movie features pre-packaged assets for character models and environments, while all dialog is delivered by text-to-speech programs. It appears Digpex is committed to never working with real human beings, which makes sense – it’s likely Digpex is just one guy who literally doesn’t know anybody.

digstrip

At any rate, it’s a fascinating little film. The plot is hard to follow, but I think a girl promises she won’t be a stripper anymore, then starts dancing, before aliens come and take over the Earth. A guy does a slow-motion backflip and another guy – or the same guy – jumps through a car, which destroys the car. Also, the stripper is apparently a changeling, as her size relative to other characters changes immensely during her hot, Jessica Alba-rivaling dance sequence.

The best bit is when an ice-cream cart smashes over a dude’s head and shatters like a porcelain dish. That’s how reality works.

“I have been dancing all my life but if you do not want me to be a stripper I will stop it for you. I will work there only for this week and I will stop I really want to be with you”

That’s a speech from the film, presented with all the punctuation it deserves.

It’s a fascinating glimpse into the mind of somebody with no shame. From the gibberish lines to the literally impossible fighting physics, it’s got everything you could dream of. The plot hangs on by the barest of threads, and even while watching key scenes again, I’m not sure I can begin to fully understand a single bloody thing in it. Almost everybody is bald.

The only thing I know for sure is, and I quote, “At Queen Ribi place her two clones and her army wants alien clone living as man capture dead or alive.”

Sounds intense!

digrobot

And then there’s whatever the fuck this thing is supposed to be.

Digpex promises that an extended version of this movie is coming soon, in glorious 3D! “Soon” may be a relative term, however, given the fact that iClone in Action was published in 2010. I am glad that a random person on my Ask page sent me the link though, as it really does explain a lot about the studio, the way it thinks, and its alarming obsession with dudes in bodysuits doing backflips.

I hope it gets a Blu-ray release.

Dave Dogge
Guest
Dave Dogge

That was simply brilliant … those guys are going to be the next Industrial Light & Magic / Pixar. I can’t wait until Disney buys them out and they start doing full length feature films.

PeachyPixel8
Guest

Wow, this is just so.. art! Unadulterated art in its purest form, you cannot review this, Jim. It’s too.. art…

ComicSans
Guest
ComicSans

I am sure that DigPex is a rich child who thinks he is the best shit around.

Oh, DigPex, welcome to the internet,
if you can’t accept the critiques and you try to silence them,
Ya fucked mate.

Chris
Guest

Great movie. It doesn’t spell everything out for the lowest common denominator like all these mainstream Hollywood flicks.

Terriosaurus Hex
Guest
Terriosaurus Hex

It really fascinates me when a project is so bad, it’s entertainment lies mainly within the psychological profile you build in your head about the creator. *cough* DavidCage *cough*

Buck
Guest
Buck

I shall await the take down notice, we all know its going to happen

Rawk Hawk
Guest
Rawk Hawk

What the fuck. This has to be trolling.

Matais Yohansen
Guest
Matais Yohansen

At least this video runs at a framerate higher than a freaking zoetrope.

carg0
Guest
carg0

i also love how the credits begin with “END OF PART ONE”.

is that supposed to be a threat? lol XD

ElektroDragon
Guest
ElektroDragon

It’s likely a griefer screwing with you Jim.

craigtheintern
Guest
craigtheintern

I want there be stripper docudrama making the hero weigh heavily concern for when aliens fear cleavage and some

It’s actually frighteningly easy to write in Digpex’s bizarre moon speak using my smartphone touchpad.

SilentPony
Guest
SilentPony

By the law of all Indie Devs are misunderstood, special little butterflies, I must proclaim this to be one of the greatest movies of all time. The artistic vision , the writing and the monotone “voice acting”! Everything is there that needs to be there. Nothing is wasted. Not like that piece of shit Dark Knight movie! THIS is what Batman should really be! Also I’m pretty sure its the best horror game ever made; the dread and sense of the unknown. Why are the aliens here? Why is she a stripper? What are they saying? Gives me the shivers,… Read more »

Jesse W-F
Guest
Jesse W-F

That was amazing.

Germanicus
Guest
Germanicus

Are we 100% sure this isn’t some sort of piss-take, parody project cobbled together by an obscure yet ultra hip Japanese design/fashion/game studio?

Because if I find out it is and I have to change my opinion and tell people that it is in fact cool but they just don’t get it, then I’ll be… well I’ll be very cross indeed Jim.

carg0
Guest
carg0

*watches video*

o_O

alrighty then… just going to slowly back away now…

Aaron Schafer
Guest
Aaron Schafer

The fuck? My favourite part: the slow-motion replay of the dude jumping onto the hood of the mirror-painted car. I owned a Volkswagen beetle when I was sixteen, and always wanted it painted to look like a mirror. Alas, the best I could find was getting the whole thing chromed, which was very, very cost prohibitive. Wait, that has nothing to do with this video. The idea of the slo-mo replay in a movie is fascinating to me. Slow motion in a film? Sure, happens all the time. But a REPLAY? And not even the triple replay that Van Damme… Read more »

GumbaMasta
Guest
GumbaMasta

If Digpex was all an art project about deep, multi layered meta-irony would that make it better or worse?

HANZO
Guest
HANZO

thank you Jim Sterling and thank you digpex for making my day…

i salute you

Grin Of Madness
Guest
Grin Of Madness

I’m surprised you didn’t mention the choreography of the line dancing soldiers as they attempt to fight off a miniature Droid Army Control Ship using Britney Spear’s dance moves.

Even Luck
Guest

After looking at the other “content” on this bozo’s channel, it seems like one of their members (if not all) is from somewhere in Africa, based off of this video in particular: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Flxrcbb4Mn8

An interesting facet of that video was that the guy, despite the thick accent, spoke excellent English. Not quite sure what to make of this, but it’s strange considering the response Digpex shat out to Kotaku during their interview with Jim looked as if it had been cobbled together through Google translate . Weird….

ChaoticPesme
Guest
ChaoticPesme

I want those guys to make Birdemic III, in 3D !

Goober2049
Guest
Goober2049

Are you sure this is a separate film and not a planned piece of content for Skate Man Intense Rescue?

Chris Somethingson
Guest

Coming to an IMAX near you!

I hope it has 4D enabled so I be awkwardly shaken around like the animations depict.

von_Sanneck
Guest
von_Sanneck

I know for a fact film critics will slander this, and being in the film industry, this will backfire harder than what he has done to you. I can respect them for trying the best they can, but the lack of self-awareness is a damning thing that will only end in tears.

Forro
Guest
Forro

Wow! Just wow.

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