One may still wonder why Digpex Games, the alleged developer of Skate Man Intense Rescue, would be so stupid as to try to silence Jim Fucking Sterling Son with a limp YouTube copyright takedown strike. However, one need only watch Clones in Action, the studio’s short film debut, to understand it all – whatever homunculus is in charge of all this is simply no stranger to abject humiliation.
There are thematic similarities to Skate Man – this digital movie features pre-packaged assets for character models and environments, while all dialog is delivered by text-to-speech programs. It appears Digpex is committed to never working with real human beings, which makes sense – it’s likely Digpex is just one guy who literally doesn’t know anybody.
At any rate, it’s a fascinating little film. The plot is hard to follow, but I think a girl promises she won’t be a stripper anymore, then starts dancing, before aliens come and take over the Earth. A guy does a slow-motion backflip and another guy – or the same guy – jumps through a car, which destroys the car. Also, the stripper is apparently a changeling, as her size relative to other characters changes immensely during her hot, Jessica Alba-rivaling dance sequence.
The best bit is when an ice-cream cart smashes over a dude’s head and shatters like a porcelain dish. That’s how reality works.
“I have been dancing all my life but if you do not want me to be a stripper I will stop it for you. I will work there only for this week and I will stop I really want to be with you”
That’s a speech from the film, presented with all the punctuation it deserves.
It’s a fascinating glimpse into the mind of somebody with no shame. From the gibberish lines to the literally impossible fighting physics, it’s got everything you could dream of. The plot hangs on by the barest of threads, and even while watching key scenes again, I’m not sure I can begin to fully understand a single bloody thing in it. Almost everybody is bald.
The only thing I know for sure is, and I quote, “At Queen Ribi place her two clones and her army wants alien clone living as man capture dead or alive.”
And then there’s whatever the fuck this thing is supposed to be.
Digpex promises that an extended version of this movie is coming soon, in glorious 3D! “Soon” may be a relative term, however, given the fact that iClone in Action was published in 2010. I am glad that a random person on my Ask page sent me the link though, as it really does explain a lot about the studio, the way it thinks, and its alarming obsession with dudes in bodysuits doing backflips.
I hope it gets a Blu-ray release.