Harry Potter And The Crock Of Shit (The Jimquisition)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4_BU4tc6RE

http://www.patreon.com/jimquisition
http://sharkrobot.com/collections/Jimquisition-merch

Wow, you really do pay Warner Bros. or otherwise watch a helpless child get strangled. That’s pretty much the perfect symbol for modern games.

Let’s see what one of the worst entertainment companies in the world has done with Harry Potter this time.

Nitrium
Member
Nitrium

Not wanting to promote any “piracy” here (it’s not really the right term given the game is technically “free” to play), but Android users can trivially download a “modded” .apk that gives you unlimited energy. Not much different to any other cheat imo, except this one will save you a lot of money and time.

TheDovah
Member
TheDovah

Bastards. The utter fucking [♪SKELETON WARRIORS♫]! Sorry, I grew up with Harry Potter and was the first book(that I can recall) reading. To see this turn into a fucking pay to play app is insulting. It’s worse then TK doing what they DID to Zhen Fe or what’s his name(the claw man). I mean, this isn’t even a game. It’s waiting to see something happen or pay to see it happen quickly. This is…. FUCK. WARNER BROS! Yeah, I’m pissed off by this. Why does Harry Potter get shite nowadays? The last decent game was Order of Phoneix(twas the last… Read more »

Benj
Member
Benj

JK Rowling seems like a nice person and I feel like she’d be really pissed off if she knew what her creations were being used for.

GloatingSwine
Member
GloatingSwine

The point of energy systems was originally to habituate you into clicking into the game about as often as people were checking Facebook at the time. It’s probably the same on mobile. They want you to pick up your phone every so often, look at your facebook and twitter and such, and then tap on their game to click some times and maybe pay them some money because hey you keep going back to the game right? Same principle as putting the bright engrams in the same place you pay for things in Destiny. Habituate you into visiting their barely… Read more »

Jiryn
Member
Jiryn

I remember when you did a similar video for Dungeon Keeper Mobile by EA. I Had a friend literally defending the game, claiming you’re blowing it out of proportion then showing me how you can skip the micro transactions by tapping/swiping the screen a certain way. I’d love to see people like them try and defend a shit cake game like these Harry Potter games. This just makes me glad I’ve steer clear of mobile games due to problems like these, and the fact developers refuse to keep their game up to date. (I.E. the Dragon Quest games no longer… Read more »

Arella Jardin
Member
Arella Jardin

I was really hopeful for this game. Play through your own Hogwarts adventure, the dream of every Potter fan that wished an Owl would drop off that acceptance letter. Get your wand, meet a bookish friend, go to classes, ride a broom, fight a rival. The game even has some decent production value. Everything looks the way it should, there’s a lot of locations with animation in the background, the music right. The school seems alive. And having forced my way through the first year, the mystery/story is interesting. And then you try to “play” the game, and it’s such… Read more »

Terry-Osaurusus Hex XI
Member

Oh wow, thats some next level tomfuckery for the ‘games’ market. Agree with not feeling the whole “think of the children” angle as much as the “angry at greedy assholes trying to profit off vulnerable minded people that wouldn’t know better” angle. It’s yet another example of how low people are willing to stoop for their unbridled financial concentration using the disguise of trusted IPs and cynical dismantling of art and/or fun to do so. There’s nothing trickling down except corporate piss all over everybody’s scapegoated heads.

Arella Jardin
Member
Arella Jardin

Some pricing shenanigans. It takes 55 gems to refill your energy fully, you can buy 50 gems for two payments of $0.99. This is the equivalent of just putting your phone down for an hour and a half. One of the cosmetic robe upgrades costs 200 gems. You can buy 275 gems for $9.99. Ten dollars to look a little cooler. The coins are no better. I’ve forced myself through the first Year, and only have about 7500 coins. One sweater costs 10,000. This is something I’ve never understood. Why do mobile games overprice everything? Wouldn’t it make more sense… Read more »

Jack Philipson
Member

Benjamin Sniddlegrass and the Cauldron of Penguins.

InfamousDS
Member
InfamousDS

I’m rather proud of the fact I play a lot of video games. i make no efforts to hide my love. I sometimes get asked what my favorites are, and when I tell people they ask if I could show them on my phone. They don’t mean YouTube videos, and some even get annoyed I’m showing them a video instead of a game. I’ve only ever had one person ask why if I’m such a big “gamer” why I don’t keep anything on my phone. I linked them to a Gamasutra article from like 10 years ago where a psychologist… Read more »