So, you’ve gotten yourself a shiny New 3DS XL and you’re excited to get started, but you want to make sure all your old downloads are intact. What to do? Well, Nintendo itself has said the New 3DS XL was designed for previous 3DS owners to upgrade to, which is why it shipped without an AC adapter – so transferring your data from an old system to the new one should be quick, clean, and efficient, right? I mean, it was designed with transfers in mind, surely.
You damn right it was!
Moving data from one system to the other is as easy as 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6… 16! It’s intuitive and user-friendly, just like a family system should be, and by following a couple of simple steps, you’ll be playing Majora’s Mask Ultimate 4 in no time. Of course, Nintendo knows that a lot of you are stupid, and so it’s provided a comprehensive guide regardless, just to make sure that you dunces get it right. Just kidding, you’re not dumb. You’re all very gifted!
Let’s see how we move Gunman Clive from our shitty old 3DS to our beautiful new one, shall we?
Step 1: Start and update your NEW 3DS XL
Complete the setup stages for the New 3DS XL, and make sure you install the latest firmware. Make sure NOT to create a new Nintendo Network ID at this stage – you’ll be bringing that along from your old system!
Step 2: Initiate the System Transfer process on your new and old systems
On both your old 3DS and your New 3DS home menus, go to System Settings, Other Settings, and then tap System Transfer.
Step 3: Select “Transfer from a system in the 3DS family”
You’ll be moving data from one 3DS to another, so ignore the DSi transfer option. Do you remember the Nintendo DSi? It was cool for a bit!
Step 4: Set your systems to send and receive
On your old 3DS, set it to “Send from this system” and set your New 3DS to “Receive from Nintendo 3DS.”
Step 5: Follow the prompts to connect the systems
The machines will guide you through the steps necessary to make your 3DS systems communicate. Do not worry. Everything is fine. We’ve got you.
Step 6: Delete your New 3DS XL’s micro SD data
This is scary, right? It’s okay. Just select “Delete” on the New 3DS XL. I promise you, you WILL replace this data with the stuff on your old system’s SD card.
Step 7: Place both systems on the floor and create a circle of salt around them
Ordinary table salt will do. It doesn’t have to be a perfect circle, just try to distribute the salt as evenly as possible around the systems.
Step 8: Turn to page 86 in the Book of Baraqiel and repeat the incantation
Here, precision is key. Do NOT misspeak the words, child, and do not so much as mispronounce a single one of the forbidden titles. Ask your local storm friar for help if you’re unsure.
Step 9: Wait until the Moon is in the eighth house of Aquarius
During this period, you may want to ensure you have enough blood, as cultivated from a local parish or village where people don’t ask questions.
Step 10: Add the blood to the Blackened Phylactery.
PLEASE remember to use blood and not ketchup. The latest ritual did not go according to plan.
Step 11: Use a Size #0 Phillips head screwdriver to open your New 3DS XL and remove its Micro SD card
Because a system designed to be upgraded to should require extraneous hardware to open. It’s common sense!
Step 12: Replace Micro SD card with a Size #n’yggEthCH’ullah weeping heart
If all steps have been followed correctly, the Blackened Phylactery should be empty of blood and contain a pulsating heart that weeps softly. If it’s sized according to the Chart of Numbers Ensorcled, it’ll fit right into the New 3DS XL, at which point a red glow should be visible. KEEP ALL OF THIS WITHIN THE SALT CIRCLE. Until the rite is done, the Chattering Ones can still use your New 3DS XL to tear a hole into our world.
Step 13: Destroy your old 3DS
It is safe to remove the old 3DS and destroy it. At this stage of the ritual, the system should be impervious to normal fire, but if you secure a bag of Wizened Sulphur from your nearest apothecary and light it with a match, the resulting Devil’s Water ought to be strong enough.
Step 14: They grow inside
Do not be alarmed at the itching and the squirming.
Step 15: There is an ocean beneath the ocean, and it is darker than darkness
Even they without eyes know when they are in this darkness, for it is more than a mere absence of light. It is an absence of being. Here, the scorpion screams without making a sound, viewing nothing but seeing everything, hearing silence yet listening to all the sounds of creation. You shall feel nothing but the worms, and even the worms shall not be felt, for you will feel all that cannot be felt, and all will feel you. Swim in the ocean beneath the ocean. You can only swim as you drown.
Step 16: The system transfer is now complete
Enjoy using your New 3DS XL!