Life of Black Tiger Review – The Worst PS4 Game In The World

Wait… wait this isn’t Steam!?

Developer: 1Games
Publisher: 1Games
Format: PS4
Released: January 24, 2017
Copy purch… I can’t believe I bought this shit

Whatever possessed Sony to start selling and actively promoting slapdash Android ports and Steam Greenlight rejects remains a mystery, but it would appear the PlayStation Store’s floodgates are beginning to swing wide open. Even stranger, Sony itself appears to be promoting some severely overpriced and undercooked software.

Life of Black Tiger first caught the world’s attention when a trailer for what looked like absolute garbage appeared on the official PlayStation YouTube channel. Many thought it was some sort of strange joke, especially as its publication was timed to go up against Nintendo’s Switch presentation.

If it is a joke, it’s one that’s been seen through to grisly completion – Life of Black Tiger is not only available for PlayStation 4, this originally free mobile game now carries an MSRP of $9.99.

Oh, and I can confirm that it is absolute garbage, just like the trailer led us all to believe. There’s something to be said for honesty in advertising.

I think I spent the first thirty minutes of my time with Life of Black Tiger literally opened mouthed. I’m using “literally” in the original sense of the word, too – I could not believe what I was seeing, and I resembled a yawning goldfish as I stared at the screen in mute incredulity.

Life of Black Tiger is a Unity game – possibly an Asset Flip constructed of pre-bought character models – about a black tiger that kills things. You run around sparse maps, get vaguely within distance of sheep, wolves, giraffes and other animals, then hold down a single button to watch a brief attack animation happen over and over again – accompanied by a horrible approximation of a roaring sound.

That’s the most the game has to offer. It can and will offer less than that!

Some missions involve casually jogging (the tiger moves slowly even when allegedly sprinting) to three spots on the map and waiting at those spots for several seconds. One level is about avoiding a huge pack of wolves for three minutes – it is three minutes of running around in a circle. That’s all you do. It is exactly three minutes, I know, because the game has a timer to let you know just how much of your precious life is being wasted.

It feels much longer than three minutes.

These stages where you do absolutely nothing might have been introduced to add “variety” to a game mostly about standing near other shittily rendered animals that don’t belong in the same ecosystem and mauling them with a pantomime level of impact. Either that, or it’s all part of the grinding war of attrition this miserable piece of software wages on its players almost immediately.

As Life of Black Tiger continues, its missions grow longer and less tolerable. Animals take longer to kill, they become faster and harder to hit with the tiger’s pathetic standing attack, the handful of cloned enemies start dishing out damage far above your own output. Inevitably, you’ll find yourself taking longer and longer to complete repetitive levels that haven’t mechanically changed since the first one.

There is, laughably, an upgrade system comprised of basic menus that showcase the artistic talent of a developer with zero artistic talent. Completing missions earns points and these points can be spent to make the tiger slightly – and I mean slightly – stronger, faster, or hardier.

If you think that would make the game less of a hassle to play, I envy you your naivety.

Upgrades are so incremental they barely register, especially once enemies take so little damage you can barely see their health bars decreasing, and the only way to level up in pace with the game is to replay lots and lots of previously completed missions. That means more chasing sheep around, more running in circles for three minutes, all so you can hope to get strong enough to chase other animals and run in different circles.

Life of Black Tiger has a story but the localization job is terrible, perhaps the finest example of poor videogame translation since the 1980s. Borderline gibberish text between missions, often written across a stock photo that’s been run through various blatant filters, desperately attempts to piece together some sort of story about a tiger finding love and having a baby.

A baby that – I shit you not – the titular tiger is happy about not being born black.

So that’s… awkward.

There’s not much else to be said about Life of Black Tiger. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if I spent longer working on this review than the developer spent making the sad little excuse for a game. It is, without hyperbole, the worst PlayStation 4 game in existence. It’s one of the worst games I’ve ever played on console, and it rivals some of the worst games available on Steam.

I would rather play The Slaughtering Grounds than Life of Black Tiger.

It cannot be stated enough that THIS IS A FREE MOBILE GAME CHARGING $9.99 ON PS4. I know because I bought it.

Like a complete fucking idiot I bought all 922 megabytes of this fucking awful wank because I thought it would make for an interesting review, which it didn’t because Life of Black Tiger is a huge empty vacuum of content and thought and feeling. It does the bare minimum required to be considered a videogame product without risking a lawsuit, and its one saving grace is that the trailer isn’t particularly misleading and is only slightly less interactive.

Oh shit, I haven’t even talked about how ugly it looks.

Life of Black Tiger sports drab colors, robotic animations, and frequent instances of the camera clipping underneath the map to show the oblivion below.

There are no transitory animations between walking, running, sprinting, or even changing directions, the tiger will simply materialize from one state to the next. This is most noticeable when trying to walk in a straight line – the tiger has eight directions in which it can move, but cannot understand how analog controllers work, so it’ll visibly spasm between two general directions.

Basically, if you’re heading north, the tiger will attempt to face north and northeast/northwest at the same time with stuttering consequences because this dreadful bollocks was designed for touchscreens and fails to handle physical input.

All the physics are wonky, with dead animals falling down in a way that’s somehow simultaneously stiff and loose. Having lost all sense of weight, these corpses can be picked up and carried by the Black Tiger regardless of size. About the only real entertainment this game has is found in the carrying of giraffe and rhino corpses, because it looks funny for the blissful few seconds before it gets old.

Sound is barely existent save for some basic attack noises and the very occasional level in which creepy sentimental music might happen. The general silence that accompanies most of the game lends an alienating, almost nihilistic feel to the whole sorry procedure, broken only by the brief guitar riff that marks the end of each level for some fucking reason.

Fuck this game. It’s disgusting.

Fuck the joke positive reviews for this game, because if you can even pretend this game is any good, you’re probably a really bad person inside of your heart. You’re a phenomenal liar, at any rate.

It’s also a FREE MOBILE GAME CHARGING $9.99 ON PS4 and everybody involved in its appearance on the PlayStation Store should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves. I’ve now played it more than maybe anybody in the world (unless anyone’s completed this gross trash because I sure as shit didn’t) and I still can’t believe it’s real.

Is Sony high? Is Sony fucking high? That’s about the only way in which my brain can process this thing’s appearance, imagining that Sony’s executives eat thousands of drugs before making decisions about anything. It would certainly explain why they thought the PSPgo was a good idea.

Seriously, is Sony fucking high? How high? Can I have some of your drugs, Sony? I’ve played Life of Black Tiger, I deserve some drugs.

Let me have some drugs, Sony. Are you high? Can I have your drugs? Are you high on drugs? How many drugs did you eat?

Are you high?

Are you high on drugs?

Life of Black Tiger is a massive piece of fucking shit. Also it has multiplayer.

1/10
Accursed

Anonymouselouse
Guest
Anonymouselouse

Xbox Ones’ drugs are a bit toss.

galactix100
Guest
galactix100

Considering the gear Sony’s apparently punting that may not be a bad thing.

James East
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James East

What the fuck.

john handzlik
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john handzlik

so im guess jim like it

Chapomon
Guest

This game looks like an amalgamation of all those stilted, overpriced, “premium” themes and avatars that litter the Playstation store each week.

InfamousDS
Guest
InfamousDS

That’s likely what PlayStation thought they were approving before the guy was like “No, it’s a game”.

Chapomon
Guest

Yeah, that cover art does look like a “premium” theme.

Rando
Guest
Rando

Maybe Sony were confused, thought it was a remake of the 1987 Black Tiger (which was awesome back in the day) 🙂 https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6d22eb42de1975e578d4a4c6712cb87742a2abcfb3eca7715e44aafe067fe8dc.png

Impossibilium
Guest
Impossibilium

This is actually an explanation that might make some kind of sense. Other than Jim’s theory about the drugs, of course. Ah, I know – they took the drugs (like, ALL the drugs), and then confused the two games with each other. Mystery solved!

Rando
Guest
Rando

Probably the same drugs that skeleton’s on in the screenshot!

drownedsummer
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drownedsummer

For it to work as an explanation it would have to be just Black Tiger on PSN when it is one of many poor games including at least one which got featured on Jim’s Best of Greenlight trailers.

NightsOwl
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NightsOwl

Hey, this game actually looks really solid. What system is it on?

Edit: Nevermind, I used google like a normal person would. ;v

Impossibilium
Guest
Impossibilium

It’s an old arcade game. The most recent port was part of the Capcom Arcade Cabinet on PS3/360.

diamond
Guest
diamond

Yeah that’s the first thing that popped to mind when I heard the name, I played that game on a game compilation years ago.

Impossibilium
Guest
Impossibilium

In an interesting turn of events, I just searched the PlayStation Store for this game (out of morbid curiosity, not out of intent to buy it), and it’s nowhere to be found. Did Sony actually do the right thing and remove this dreck from their storefront? Maybe something to do with the negative press?

That being said, that Skylight Freerange 2 game is still up. Give it time, I guess.

drownedsummer
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drownedsummer

No it just isn’t available in certain regions.

Impossibilium
Guest
Impossibilium

Hmmm . . . I thought the Canadian store was just the American store with higher prices. I’ve never noticed a game not being released here that wasn’t released in the U.S. (I have noticed in the past that we didn’t get a couple of free themes based on movies.) I guess we were spared from having this mucking up our storefront. And costing about $4 more, making it an even worse value than it already is.

drownedsummer
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drownedsummer

Which is rather amusing as one of those games is by a Canadian developer and very firmly set in Canada.

thecoolmana777
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thecoolmana777

Maybe console makers have seen Steams massive profits and decided they want some of that pie and consumers be damned.

Neto
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Neto

How long till the “developer” accuses Jim of defamation, I wonder?

Stephen Mc Devitt
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Stephen Mc Devitt

Defamation. A lot of bad people nowadays love to use that word towards anyone who rightfully calls them out.

Stephen Mc Devitt
Guest
Stephen Mc Devitt

At least it’s not on the European PlayStation Store. (Yes, I triple-checked.)

SirRichard
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SirRichard

I checked as well, neither is that horrific Gachduine game. We’ve been spared, thus far.

Stephen Mc Devitt
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Stephen Mc Devitt

Suas an Irish! Tá muid ag spared.

Charlie Koszulinski
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Charlie Koszulinski

Maybe Europe isn’t ready for its greatness. Once again, America proves to be not only the worthy country, but also the best country!

Stephen Mc Devitt
Guest
Stephen Mc Devitt

We’ll let you be the canaries down this GLORIOUS goldmine.

diamond
Guest
diamond

We got lucky enough to be spared all those terrible Blast! entertainment games for the PS2 that only came out in Europe(I.E. Home Alone, Thunderbirds, Beverly Hills Cop).

JDIncinerator
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JDIncinerator

Let’s face it, this review was put up in spite. Now some of us are going to buy it out of sheer curiosity.

Terriosaurus Hex
Guest
Terriosaurus Hex

Erm, It’s free on mobile…You can appease that curiousity for literally no cost.

MaxisLithium
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MaxisLithium

You have to get up pretty early in the morning to out stupid Videogames companies.

Vinyl Scratch
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Vinyl Scratch

This is the best review ever put to page…glorious, thankyou Jim!

Gene Auhl
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Gene Auhl

sony is trying out nintendo nintendo itself, it should stop that

Dar Laufer
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Dar Laufer

AHAHAHAHAHA JUST HOW HIGH DO YOU EVEN HAVE TO BE JUST TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT……..

Dante
Guest
Dante

Why, out of everything in this review, did “Also it has multiplayer,” make me laugh so hard?

Also why does this game even exist? Judging just by how you talk about it, I’d feel ripped off getting it for free. And I’m not curious enough to see if it’s on the google play store.

super duper
Guest
super duper

This is one of your best pieces of written work I have seen from you, Jim.

Morgoth
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Morgoth

GOTY 2017, hands down.

Pete Gilmartin
Guest
Pete Gilmartin

I have a theory how this ended up on PSN. A bunch of Sony executives were playing truth or dare while completely pissed on sake wine. One of the dares was to browse the Google Play store and pick the worst game imaginable and give it not only a release but a promo on the PS YouTube Channel.

Brain Damaged Gamer
Guest

Somebody at Sony might have thought this was a Black Panther game mistranslated… So ummm Jungle Book?

Even Luck
Guest
Even Luck

Happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts

Abraham Link
Guest
Abraham Link

I hope you’r planning to do a (The Videogame Show What I’ve Done) for it where you praise it endlessly.

Eric
Guest
Eric

Please. This.

Jeffrey Vore
Guest
Jeffrey Vore

First he has to hate it or complain that he doesn’t get it, then say he went to Metacritic and saw it had an 81 and now realizes it’s a really good game, actually.

Fuzzy Barbarian
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Fuzzy Barbarian

I’m morbidly curious about that multiplayer

Peter Quint
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Peter Quint

I laughed like hell when you said you’d rather play The Slaughtering Grounds.

jimfk
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jimfk

Doing the lord’s work Jim, you suffer so that we don’t have to

Brandon Mack
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Brandon Mack

I can’t wait for that RPG review you know the one Jim. 😆

Jim Sterling
Guest

I don’t even know how I’m gonna begin to describe that one.

kripto sporidium
Guest
kripto sporidium

“Fuck.

2/10”

Michael Alexander Seiler
Guest
Michael Alexander Seiler

Fuck at least it´s not life of Black Tiger?

Jasper Theo
Guest
Jasper Theo

It’ll have the tag “Unable to be Greenlit”.

Stephen Mc Devitt
Guest
Stephen Mc Devitt

At least now you can finally Final Fantasy XIII is a masterpiece in comparison.

09philj
Guest
09philj

“Imagine a Final Fantasy game made by an enthusiastic but inept small child, but less coherent, imaginative, or funny.”

drownedsummer
Guest
drownedsummer

So that kickstarter was fully backed then?

InfamousDS
Guest
InfamousDS

I’m just glad I wasn’t the only person to go “So it’s just a shitty Canadian FF12 then” when I saw the video.

drownedsummer
Guest
drownedsummer

A couple of years back one of the sites I used to browse at work was ‘Your Kickstarter sucks’ one which was mentioned was a mother wanting to raise funds to send her daughter to RPG camp and I believe try to put a game out.

InfamousDS
Guest
InfamousDS

I remember Penny Arcade (specifically Ben Kuchera) posting a rant about how people belittling the woman were horrible people, despite the somewhat grey “borderline against the rules” aspect of her Kickstarter and the lack of a promise of a product or service aside from the girl becoming a game developer.

drownedsummer
Guest
drownedsummer

There was also the point that she wasn’t actually lacking in personal finances.

InfamousDS
Guest
InfamousDS

Which I forgot. Thank you.

Adam Robert Sherman
Guest
Adam Robert Sherman

What are you referring to?

Benj
Guest
Benj

Might have to debue the 0/10 option.

Corac42
Guest
Corac42

What, what is it?

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