Metabombed: Evolve Is ‘A Joke And A Total Scam’

The Jimquisition doesn’t regurgitate press releases for third-party controllers or run stories about every little thing that falls out of Jon Blow’s mouth, so please accept my apologies if the site’s looking like the Evolve show lately – I just don’t produce all the filler that would break such posts up, so if I’ve got a big game with plenty of material to write about, you may see a review stacked atop a livestream stacked atop an editorial. Anyway, what I basically mean to say is that I’m going to talk about Evolve some more… or rather, I’m going to let THE PEOPLE talk about it! It’s time to see how Turtle Rock Shooters’ multiplayer extravaganza got Metabombed in a new feature I like to call Metabombed.

Back when I wrote for Destructoid, I posted semi-regular features collecting Metacritic user reviews for popular releases. Sometimes, a big game proves controversial for some reason, and gamers resort to dogpiling Metacritic’s public review system to prove a point, leading to pointed criticism or hilarious meltdowns. With Evolve proving to be one of the more polarizing new games in a while (seriously, its Steam community is a warzone!), you can be sure that Metacritic’s user reviews aren’t a pretty place to be right now. 2k Games did little to earn goodwill with its decision to promote Evolve almost entirely on the basis of downloadable content, and the stage has thus been set for customers to air some dirty laundry – and boy is it dirty!

kraken

Evolve has pretty dire user reviews across all three systems. The Xbox One version fares best, with an average score of 5.1 from 113 ratings – 56 of which are positive, 50 of which are negative. The PS4 version is in the red with a 4.8 average and 233 reviews – 100 positive to 112 negative. The most tumultuous battleground is the PC version, with its 396 user ratings averaging to 4.3 and containing 148 positive scores to 224 negative. Provided below are some of the standout reviews from the Evolve‘s PC section, provided with scores and presented unedited. All spelling is as it originally appears on Metacritic.

The Smog believes Evolve will go great with a Happy Meal in the months to come.

This game gets old fast. Extremely repetitive and a shallow game for 60$. Don’t waste your money, this game will cost less than a gourmet hamburger in a few months. (0/10)

Here is Enforcer122, laying down the law like the Big Boss Man from wrestling.

Do game developers live in the real world these days? I have at max, 3 or 4 decent friends who will play a game with me. All of us, go to university, have lives, hobbies, jobs, families etc. When I do eventually get the chance to sit down and play a game for an extended period of time, which isn’t often, the chances of all my friends being online at once for a long enough period to play a game like this is absolutely slim to none.

This game is so absolutely multiplayer, that you can almost forget the idea of playing alone. Playing with strangers in a game like this just never works out. Soon as I played it, I realised the game was a shell. If you wanted what was inside the shell you’d have to pay money for DLC and microtransactions. How they think they can get away with that is beyond me and unacceptable. Terrible stuff. (0/10)

Dawe187 feels scammed after dropping one hundred bones on this mother.

This game is a joke and a total scam. There is seriously so much dlc and micro transactions it feels like a mobile game. I was dumb enough to buy the 100 dollar version of the game and they are still trying to sell me content on day one this game comes out. The base game doesn’t have anywhere near enough content to warrant the price tag. This is completely shameful and I hope no one else gets suckered in to this scam. I seriously hope turtle Rock and 2k both go broke. (0/10)

JayLightBar plays umpire and tells Evolve, “YOU’RE OUTTA HEEEEERE!”

Strike one, charging sixty dollars for a downloadable version of a game that comes with no case or physical copy. Strike two, day one dlc that is not only **** on its own, but is also over charged and clearly just stripped from the game. Strike three, your game was mediocre from the start anyways. Other than the fact the game looks fine, runs okay, and plays well, there is no story, no care for the characters, so much repetition, like what did 2k expect from this? Terrible, a complete waist of money. (3/10)

You know, Watusi6969 has a point. I used to write previews, and now I don’t. Pre-release awards are NO worthy seal of approval.

Here’s a tip…NEVER buy a game that already have “awards” when it has not been release yet. They will turn out like Destiny and other crappy “award winning games”. (0/10)

BFM should change his name to Big Fucking Mumps! I don’t know what that means, actually.

What a disappoitnment.
From the makers of L4D : a much worse game.
This is the ugly child of Crysis 3 and UT.

Does this game have sofisticated gameplay? Memorable maps or characters? A soul?

No, No – No. But it has 1st day DLC!

Let’s wait for Valve’s L4D3 to see how coop is really done.

Not every review is negative. Here, Lock offers a 10/10 review and slams those who build their computers from wood. SLAM!

Awesome and very fun game. Better play with friends. Don t listen school-boyz with wooden pc’s, it worth every dollar. Finally something fresh in multiplayer shooters. (10/10)

Pypes brings the shame. The pain and the shame.

$7 for a texture, Even shutterstock isn’t that expensive.

Shameful cash grab by shameful publishers, aided and abetted by a shameful gaming press that are happy to give a multiplayer game 10/10 on launch day. (0/10)

Mostly well-written, barry2680’s review is worth it for the extended cow analogy.

Evolve is like a kiss on the cheek and a knee to the nuts. The gameplay while fun, is repetitive and the game is severely lacking in content. To make matters worse the ‘base’ game is a whopping £35, the price you’d expect a AAA game with a lot of content to be. The ‘base’ game is severely lacking in maps and characters, but wait! for a mere £25 you can unlock the ‘full’ game adding in a few more characters and monsters. (some that aren’t even in the game yet (yes this game isn’t finished and they expect you to pay full price for what is essentially still a beta))

So £60 for a game that’s not even finished, severely lacking in content, day 1 DLC and even still £35 for the ‘base'(stripped down) version. Don’t give these people your money, this is everything that’s wrong with greedy publishers trying to milk you like cattle. Show them you are not a mindless animal and don’t purchase this milking product! (0/10)

Veramis doesn’t need to play your stinkin’ game, chief!

I never played this game but after reading all the negative reviews I am so angry at the greed that I have to give this an automatic zero. There is no reason why game companies need to be so greedy that they chop up a game in half and try to sell it for $150. If a game is good and priced fairly, people will buy it, and tell their friends to buy it! That’s how Skyrim sold so well, and why this game and other games by greedy companies will never really sell. (0/10)

Mr. Tiddlesworth? More like Mr. Triggerwarningsworth!

Over hyped, over priced, CRAP! It’s a veritable DLC buggering, they have your pants down and now it’s entering you, the devious crowd at 2K and Turtle Rock cheer as you are ass raped!
I rent games, because I have a brain.

Don’t buy crap games and NEVER pre-order, you might as well hand them the friggin lube and bend over.

Crap game, boring and super crap. (0/10)

Anton_VK knows what side of the bread gets buttered.

Game of DLC! Game of DLC! Game of DLC! Game of DLC! Game of DLC! Game of DLC! Game of DLC! Game of DLC! Game of DLC! Game of DLC! Game of DLC! Game of DLC! Game of DLC! Game of DLC! Game of DLC! Game of DLC! Game of DLC! (0/10)

Kratos1005 makes us think with this poignant prose.

Very poor play . Wasted money……………………………………………………………………………………………………..
-!

. (0/10)

In another 10/10 review, GameFans sounds more like a cult member than a critic.

This is the best FPS I have ever played in my life. It has the best graphic quality and gun mechanic in FPS up to date!

Stop crying for the DLC issue, support our developers without doubt!

A smart customer should understand that the more profits the developers earn, the higher quality of the game will be. This game may become the best FPS in the shooter gaming history if this game has made a great sales record!

You can make this true by voting with your wallet! We have trust in our talented developers!!!! (10/10)

Endertargyen invokes a complex equation to arrive at a final score of 1/10… then gives it a 0/10. I’m confused.

Day 1 DLC to actually have a complete game = -5 points.

Other than that, it’s a fun game for a few hours, then it’s extremely repetitive. So review outside of DLC = 6/10, day 1 DLC = 1/10.

Don’t buy. (0/10)

So that’s Evolve for you. We’ll be back with another Metabombed classic the next time a major game pisses off a whole bunch of people. That probably won’t take long!

SugeBearX
Guest
SugeBearX

You left out this sugar plum Jim: Rideout21 Feb 10, 2015 Great Game, my actual score would be a 8.5 but I feel like giving it a 10 will balance out these people who give it a zero. Big problem with this site lately. Shooting feels great and you get a real sense of power when you are the monsters. The DLC is not a problem because it is not a pay to win game. You pay for more variety in hunters and monsters that’s it. Please play the game before you give it a low score. 10/10 I generally… Read more »

Twoey318
Guest
Twoey318

While there are many legitimate complaints about Evolve, lot of them are based on false facts. Yes, it is a fact right now you can purchase up to $136 of DLC content on day one. Fact: said content you can purchase is all skin and beauty marks and has no effect on the game whats so ever, except for one’s color pallet. Fact: Turtle Rock has said ALL ADDED GAME MODES, and MAPS will be FREE they only thing they will charge is for upcoming monsters and hunters. Opinion: is this a way to release a game, absolutely not, and… Read more »

A large quantity of buttocks
Guest
A large quantity of buttocks

Well, at least we know we’ve reached the lowest point.
With all these scores of zero, it stands to reason that it simply isn’t possible to create a game worse than Evolve.

It’s all uphill from here. From now on, all games will be at least equatable or better than Evolve.
Reassuring, no?

Max
Guest
Max

I was somewhat excited for Evolve until I learnt of the amount of DLC that was crammed into it. It’s nice to see that the over zealous attempt to gouge our wallets has been picked up and being presented to the publisher and developer. The question at this point would be is will they listen? Only if the game turns a loss most likely. The likely scenario however is they’re likely to go back to the flow chart of “make money in the games industry” and get lost at where it all went wrong in the event the game is… Read more »

Anton
Guest
Anton

The people who are currently pissed off that they wasted $60/$100 by preordering this game deserve all the rage and disappointment they’re feeling…. for preordering anything, really. No other market has this much of a culture built up around buying something before anyone knows if it’s any good. Why gamers go along with it is beyond me, considering how useless preordering is in this day and age (unless you want that shiny limited-edition Amiibo, of course)

We can only hope they will learn something from this, though we know they won’t.

Edwin Jackson
Guest
Edwin Jackson

To be quite honest there seems to be alot of jumping on the bandwagon of it being a terrible game which it isn’t, what it is a new shinier take on the Left 4 Dead model and it does it well and consider L4D is still played by thousands everyday. What is so abborant about Evolve is some exec has clearly seen the success of the L4D franchise for such a pretty basic game and decided not only to tack on $60 price tag but offer a season pass and extra content dlc on release which is just pure greed.… Read more »

Chris
Guest
Chris

Anybody notice GameFans says, “We have trust in our talented developers!!!!”? Whose developers? The people you work for?

Craig
Guest
Craig

I’ve not played Evolve, but everything I’ve heard about it (good and bad) makes me glad I’ve still got Unreal Tournament, the only good ‘multiplayer only’ FPS I’ve ever played.

Games like this kinda deserve the mauling they get, though it is a shame as the actual concept is fun from what I’ve played of Tank!Tank!Tank! and Mario Chase (which benefited hugely from being A) simple and B) local split screen games)

Sergio
Guest

Loved this article, This game is really unworthy of any hype it got. It’s utter sit, I wouldn’t give it a 0/10 but I do take off points for business practice so like a 2 is fair.

Peony
Guest
Peony

I like metacritic because it gives gamers a chance to reply about their positive or negative experiences. Without needing a copy on Steam, without dealing with Steam’s crappy clientele, or wading through the forums of screaming fanboys. I can also see which version seems to run better, console or PC. No, you can’t read everything, but these are still gamers’ opinions. If I see a game pop up like Evolve, that has the same ratings, it tells me something isn’t right. I’ll check *why* it’s been slated, then decide what to do from there. Thanks for doing this, Jim. I’m… Read more »

Burretploof
Guest
Burretploof

You know why I love games like this?
Because I never pre-order nor do I buy on release date so when a game more or less “bombs” I can just sit here with a smug grin on my face while counting all the dollars I didn’t spend on that game.

I enjoy this way too much. Yeah, I’m a terrible person.

Kai
Guest
Kai

You should give Dragon Age Inquisition a look on Metacritic, beautiful sight it is.

Jack
Guest
Jack

At this point, Metacritic may as well just restrict user reviews to scores of either 0 or 10.

BAH!
Guest
BAH!

Huh. That sure is a thing. And this is what’s wrong with both the industry and its community as a whole. People are clearly upset with what they see as a content-thin, greedily-designed game, and it’s already been shown that Evolve is not as good as it should have been. But the funny thing is, these people who are complaining are (mostly) the same ones who bought it without checking any Let’s Plays or professional reviews. Now, according to Metacritic, the pro reviews have set this up as something worth buying (though, for some, it is) so their critiques may… Read more »

Dared00
Guest
Dared00

One of your comments got “stuck” inside BFM’s review 😉

Sharkey
Guest
Sharkey

I like it when people get mad on the Internet. It’s lovely.

Also, after the bit that says “BFM should change his name to Big Fucking Mumps! I don’t know what that means, actually.” there are 2 “reviews” that have been combined into one – probably missing a closing quote tag off the first one. Now let’s fight about it!

JB
Guest
JB

This is why I only read reviews from established critics like yourself and the guys from Giant Bomb. It seems that 90% of the people who play video games are either children or children trapped inside the bodies of adults. Thanks to devices such as Metacritic and Steam reviews they now have a platform for broadcasting their tantrums. I find it amusing that the main bulk of these ‘reviews’ are simply complaints about the DLC, and don’t even mention how the game bloody plays like an actual review should. Also, the guy who dropped $100 on the game and then… Read more »

Thomas Ingham
Guest

Jim – I’m so glad you’re bringing these back. Lately I have a “never read the comments” policy so you can imagine I steer well clear of Metacritic. You’ve gathered together the most enjoyably digestible collection of the worst of them for our reading pleasure.

I want you to know, I see you, I hear you, and I appreciate what you’re doing.

🙂

Rikard
Guest
Rikard

We should all give them money. More money means better games in the future guys! 10/10

DomLayne
Guest

Nice editorial Jim. I like these kind of aggregation posts; saves me from searching around; illustrates a point and does so in a humorous framework.

As for Evolve, I’m not sure 2K and Turtle Rock Studios will mind the backlash too much. After all, people are clearly still buying/preordering the game blindly and falling victim to the ‘Hype train’, as long as the Pub/Dev is getting their pay day they can call it a success. It seems like some consumers never learn their lesson.

Joseph Mitchell
Guest
Joseph Mitchell

This article is DLC trash riding off the review. 0/10

Salvageor
Guest
Salvageor

Love your commentaries, Jim. You read a lot of SomethingAwful’s Photoshop Phriday? There’s seems to be a lot of that influence there.

Even Luck
Guest

In this case, I won’t argue that Evolve doesn’t deserve low ratings, but this is a good reason why I don’t like Metacritic user ratings in the first place. It gives the chance for everyone to be a critic, which is good, it’s just that, well, they’re not very good critics. It’s especially bad when you bring in the trolls who throw out zeros for extremely arbitrary reasons. But I shouldn’t complain, I once gave Need for Speed: Pro Street a 1/10 for not having the amazing car damage I thought it would be (ah, junior high, so many memories).

gamegodtre
Guest
gamegodtre

you put the locks review in a qoute there jim

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