Metabombed: Mafia III Is ‘A White Guilt Fueled Mess Of A Port’

Mafia III did not receive the critical reception Hangar 13 had perhaps hoped for. My own review is pretty reflective of the average score it’s gotten from professional critics, with the repetitive gameplay, cookie-cutter open world structure, and squandering of style being chief complaints.

Of course, the pros have nothing on the general public when it comes to expressing distaste for something, and Mafia III is the latest high profile game to get METABOMBED by disgruntled players on Metacritic’s user review system.

Much of the assault has come from PC users disappointed by the game’s demonstrably lacking port. Even after it was patched to include framerate options, Mafia III is failing to be everything it could be in the eyes of customers.

Let’s check out what they’ve been saying. It’s “content” I suppose, innit?

maffy

As previously stated, the PC version is getting the brunt of the criticism, with a 3.1 score average, 121 positive reviews, and 442 negative ones. They’re still at it this long after launch, too, writing reviews daily. It fares slightly better on Xbox One, with 18 positive and negative reviews, alongside an average score of 4.5.

The PS4 version has a positively glowing recommendation in comparison – an average of 5.0, with 110 positive reviews to 121 negative. If you’re wondering why the average score isn’t entirely reflective of the reviews, that’s because you can leave a rating without writing a review, as most have opted to.

Those that went further and had to rub some textual salt in the numerical wound? Well, as usual, we’ve collected the best of them!

I organized them by date to exclude those complaining about the now-fixed 30fps lock. In doing so, I immediately found the first negative review complaining about Mafia III‘s racial aspect. Oh dear. Here’s arislaf attempting to make some kind of point.

The game is racist. Totally racist. The main hero is a black man that can’t kill black men. Now imagine the other way around, and what would happen to the world… (0/10)

Now let’s hear what pearls of wisdom gameren82 has for us.

How many times do I have to do the same thing? This is crazy! Every single quest should be unique and different. The quests are repetetive. And the game is not about Mafia; this is about a black serial killer who wants to make a revenge. (3/10)

Trytobefair tried to be fair, we can’t fault them for that!

This game is a complete desaster in everything.

– Overall graphic even in highest settings still looks blurred.
– Game physics feels like first console games out of the nineties.
– Nobody can identify with such dumb looking character.
– A bad and poor imitation of the Assassins Creed series

My final quote:

2 Points for this Game.

1 for the music and 1 point for the deinstallation routine.

Both worked perfect for me.

Thanks to the devs and publishers for being completely foolish. (2/10)

I love the reviews that use unintelligible sentences to express their frustration, as you don’t know if it’s deliberate or not. Saahil provides one such classic conundrum.

The Graphic is not consistent Aaaghhhh **** game.The Gameplay is not good too. And God…… The Skybox Seriously.Even Indie Games have good skyboxes.The Missions are repetitive. The only good thing that i have experienced is driving its better than Mafia 2 which was a marvelous game.I played half way through Mafia 3 and have uninstalled. (2/10)

Methinks linoano’s review was transcribed from one of those mysterious radio stations that put out coded messages.

First of all, I should can give -1 to this game score.

Terrible PC optimization, boring, many bugs, no Denuvo, no SLI/Crossfire support, no 21:9 support, 30fps when released, very blurry (with Motion Blur off), **** graphics (worst than xbox360), crashes, terrible car phisics, primitive plot, stuttering, FPS instability, many glichets, skybox it’s a joke, no AMD Phenom support, game freezes, no traffic laws, no fullscreen borderless and more…

This… This is MAFIA III. (0/10)

Reading PapaEmeritus’ scathing appraisal of Hangar 13 made me wince and do that “sucking air through your lips” noise one makes when something harsh just happened.

It’s bad pretty much all across the board (other than the music). Hopefully though, other developers will play it and learn what NOT to do when developing their own games. There is a lot here to learn what not to do. Hangar13? Give it up. Developing games isn’t for you. You all should go and find another career. You suck. (2/10)

BoTToX_CH makes me hope that a game is rereleased as a Full Bugged Edition at some point in the future.

The most UGGLY 2016 game !!!
Full bugged, absolutly crappy render, a crazy clipping, hyper blurry textures….etc
This game is like an old bad playstation2 game !
It’s a shame, the first and second mafia was great, 2K killed the licence !!! (1/10)

You best hold onto your sides when Kinedrill is around. This review is THE cut-up of the collection.

This game is hot aspirant to GOTY – Garbage of the Year. Alongside with win10 version of Forza Horizon 3 and ofc NMS.

PROS: Semi-good atmosphere + characters (characters?)
CONS: Well, everything else. (1/10)

Gotta agree with CristobaL – Mafia III does NOT fun!

This is not a game actually. It is 5 missions and 100+ checkpoints in the middle. Routine and bugs from the start to the end. Do not fun at all. Let’s play something else (0/10)

It’s time for PetuchelloAnjel to say something.

This game looks like sh!t played like sh!t 13 people trapped in the hangar, very lazy, 1/10 for the music!

Never do the games!leave it to the professionals (1/10)

The art of the comedically hyperbolic review is a tricky one to master. In unrelated news, let’s read what marcoklein wrote.

OMG this is terrible its not MAFIA it should be called Haitians war 3 ! Have I Played a worse game? No I can’t say that I have. This was pathetic. If the producers are still alive: 1. They shouldn’t be. 2. They should be ashamed.

To give you guys a few pointers of the “game”:

1-I don’t know who was in charge of “special effects“, but I could have done better in my backyard with my VHS camcorder that doesn’t have a battery.

2-I was a devout Catholic before this “game”. But since playing it, I know there is not a God, because if there was, he wouldn’t have let this game be produced. I am now an atheist.

Folks however bored you get, however curious(or brave) you are, however many laughs you THINK you will get out of this game, please DO NOT BUY THIS. It has literally ruined my life. AVOID AT ALL COSTS!

Comment to the producer: I hate you. You have ruined my life. After playing this I feel empty inside. My wife and kids have left me and hate me because I couldn’t speak or hardly move after playing this. I lost my job, my dignity, and above all my pride. I will never forgive you in this life or the next(which is not looking good from my new found beliefs). (0/10)

TuringDev comes close to the classic “slap in the face” phrase, but not close enough. Someone better bust it out.

An affront for PC gamers
Very poor performance, very low quality textures, blurred, after two hours of gaming, becomes very boring and repetitive. A great bull **** !

Don’t waste your money (1/10)

Oh dear, MaximusDecimus3… oh bloody dear.

A politically-correct, white-guilt fueled mess of a console port. Gameplay is boring and generic, city has nothing to offer outside of the main story missions and is a modern day revisionist-historical rendition of New Orleans, not accurate in any way whatsoever with the time and location. Don’t waste your time or money with this garbage. Wait for a sale under 10 dollars. Also terrible performance on top of the line rigs, even though the game doesn’t look spectacular or outstanding in any way. Riddles with bugs, muddy textures, texture pop-in, and awkward controls top off this cherry sundae of ****

One positive thing is that the music is great, but that’s a product of the times and not these incompetent white-guilt riddled cuckold developers. (3/10)

Then there’s OnlyOneWing.

The game play is mediocre, not even close to GTA V. The plot is not really interesting, everything is so politically correct it is fake. All the white people are evil racists and all the black people only want equality for “everyone”, none are angry and out for revenge. Even the conversations that bystanders have are all politically charged rhetoric. It’s not even genuine, it all sounds to polished like a speech writer wrote it. The voice acting is not great. The main character has no problem murdering people, yet he is righteous enough to risk his life attacking brothels. The game also plays into the nonsense that all sex workers are inherently slaves. On top of all that, the graphics feel like they could be on last gen consoles. No better than LA Noir. (1/10)

I wonder if SerchTESCHA used Google Translate for this. Surely not!

Well you buy it and I think the game has technical sections in deplorable PC, here I stress upon “defend the defensible” some people do for the game, I personally do not make me angry 30 fps although I enjoy playing at 60 fps and more if allowed by the hardware, but I’ve found with a myriad of mistakes in the game that make me think that they brought him hastily, for example (even with Update1) presents failures configurción keyboard, translations erroneous text, graphic part well below other current games such as the new Deus Ex (just glorious and superb) and above all a deplorable sadly artificial intelligence in many parts of the game. When you come to play gems like Deus Ex and then play a game with the quality of Mafia 3, the truth in my case I was very disappointed, I say this sincerely, and I am not a troll who goes around hitting the game, I say to support the developer by buying the game, which plot level is supreme, that if the height almost, of great historical novels, but technically there if I’m not playing, I enjoy it as much as I can, but I think could do much better at the technical level (that you see is that the developer is not the same as the previous Mafia, 2k Czech and now Hangar13), a Mafia 2 visual level is stunningly beautiful, even today despite being a game with several years development and output currently looks beautiful, colorful, bright with a recreation of great historical scenarios that give you the feeling of living the nostalgia of those years, this Mafia 3 will feel stiff, dark, opaque, only by history is saving and therefore I’m playing, to be honest this Mafia is not the best, and ended with a detail that caught my attention when I was playing I enter my cousin and saw the game and wonder what it was, I answer is the new Mafia 3 !!!, excited, and he answers me hear it looks like xbox 360 and more direct without first impression, not excited or anything, of course if you dare to play it but hey, graphic level the impression that he had, and never forget. (1/10)

Also wondering if BombSench is related.

Mafia 3 is a return to the first part of the Mafia, and even worse. There is no such feature in action playing as: fuel the car, do not remain objects on the ground sleeve of bullets, pieces of glass, even the smoke from under the wheels of cars modest. Mafia 2 was much more serious and plausible Igor and Mafia 3 is a misery. Pazor developers !!! (0/10)

Are you a Leisure Brutal Boy? Be more like JensK, and be leisurely in your brutality… or something.

Ideal for Leisure-Brutal-boys who have work and family! 3x the week 1 hour playing and you get 2 months of fun! For all other – specially unemployed Power Gamer – too boring. (7/10)

We haven’t had “slap in the face” yet, but LordNord went ahead and gave us the other phrase angry gamers love to use – Mafia III is “a joke.”

Worst thing in the franchise. This game is a joke only. Quests is boring as hell, all same.: Go iinterrogate a man after go destroy after go kill the boss….only this quest type in the game very very boring! And of course lot of bugs, high end pc cant running this sh!t, fps drops like hell. (3/10)

Fuuuck, this one is tasty. Premium “PC Gamer” elitism of a most delectable sort. Take it away, clarky!

Dear Publisher/Developer. PC gamer’s are like wine connoisseurs of gaming. The fact they have PC, instantly puts them into the Gamer category. Every other platform will always settle for less. For that reason, either, support the PC release with another year’s worth of development before release. Or don’t do it. You are trying to sell cheap wine in an expensive bottle to people who will never accept it. I find it pretty offensve (1/10)

I have no idea why Battletoad’s… writing… was marked with a spoiler tag, but… uh… spoiler warning ahead?

+1 NOT A MAFIA GAME .The gaming industry seems to be lost all the talents and ideas. Fallout 4, Mafia 3. Hard to believe that these games do the people who made them. Pathetic (0/10)

Finally, we have Drive637. Try and guess why this one’s included.

I’m so disappointed in this game. It could have been great but Hangar 13 totally screwed the player. I’m truly starting to get tired of these **** console ports (in this case it’s a disaster as well) that require an insane rig whereas the performances are pitiable. The quality is just absent. 1440p looks like a goddamn 720p upscale. The scenario is breathtaking this said, although when the jaw-dropping cutscenes come to their end and force you to go back to the playground, you take a massive slap right into the face that serves as a constant reminder of the fact that without its blissful and climactic progressive scenario, that game would be a derelict. Not even gameplay lifts the whole thing up since it is inaccurate and formulaic. I just hate to think that Mafia III got destroyed by the lack of time (I can’t think of anything else explaining this). It’s such a shame to see this license being dragged to the bottom of the chasm. (3/10)

SnYves
Guest
SnYves

Have any of these dumbasses ever taken a US history class?

nikolas orava
Guest
nikolas orava

these aren’t reviews. these are angry people writing something without thinking

Savletto Polvere
Guest
Savletto Polvere

When you read some of those “reviews” with voice of a Witcher 3 troll, they kinda make sense…

Savletto Polvere
Guest
Savletto Polvere

BombSench is definitely russian.

ZeGuy
Guest
ZeGuy

“[..] city has nothing to offer outside of the main story missions and is a modern day revisionist-historical rendition of New Orleans, not accurate in any way whatsoever with the time and location […].
My sides. My fucking sides…

thyri Carver
Guest
thyri Carver

I swear Jim needs to make a video series of the reviewers of Metacritic. I can just picture him reading some of these google translated comments in bad accents

SecretSmoke
Guest
SecretSmoke

“Slap in the face” needs to be a tag.

ATBro
Guest
ATBro

“PC gamer’s are like wine connoisseurs of gaming.”

Even PC gamers know PC gamers are insufferable, smarmy, elitist knobs.

Viking Mana
Guest
Viking Mana

“when I was playing I enter my cousin”

I don’t understand why that guy is complaining. Sounds like he had one hell of a time?

Exley97
Guest
Exley97

See, I’ve been wondering what some of the folks in the “make Gaming Great again” crowd have been up to lately. You know, besides panicking about Trump, spreading Palmer Luckey memes, and spamming online polls on Drudge.

ELectric- Man
Guest
ELectric- Man

Wait, you can’t kill black people? Well, I will stick to GTA then.
Also, is “marcoklein” person even reviewing a video game? Wtf does “special effects” mean?

ZrdFrv
Guest
ZrdFrv

“PC gamer’s are like wine connoisseurs of gaming. The fact they have PC, instantly puts them into the Gamer category.”

The amount of smug on those two sentences…but then again, i find the comparison spot on. “Gamer” is just as vapid of an identity as a “wine connosieur”.

Maddy
Guest
Maddy

I chuckle every time I see “looks shit, like a PS2 game” in any one of these.
I mean, I own a PS2, and still play games on it (“Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams”, and “Blood Will Tell” are up next), and I’m like “have they SEEN any PS2 games man? Not eve recently, I mean, like, at all?”
Then I do a double chuckle when I remember how everybody was jizzing themselves over PS2 graphics back in the day, but now they’re “ugly shit you can’t look at”

No respect or memory, it’s just rude.

Unnoticing Senpai
Guest
Unnoticing Senpai

“no Denuvo”
Wait, that’s a complaint?

Joe Joeson
Guest
Joe Joeson

Jim, CTRL+F TryToBeFair and break that double review up.

qorl123
Guest
qorl123

So how the fuck does cuckoldry figure into this, Decimus? Why not go the extra mile and call them betas as well. Why do these people not know what words mean and when they’re appropriate?

guy smiley
Guest
guy smiley

“A massive slap right into the face” – wow, I love this so much. I propose this hereafter replaces ‘a slap in the face’ within the popular lexicon.

Jpkurihara
Guest
Jpkurihara

“Now imagine what would happen if it was the other way around”
We don’t need to, it happened with Resident Evil 5.

Sam
Guest
Sam

I’m not familiar with the Mafia series. I was under the impression that you traditionally play as the Mafia. Is that case? If so, it sounds like an interesting variation to play as somebody going after the Mafia instead. I imagine a Mafia themed crime sandbox would be getting tired after two games already.

Vaughan MacDonald
Guest
Vaughan MacDonald

I enjoy killing white NPCs in games.

Aero
Guest
Aero

Some of these people clearly don’t speak English as a first language, so
lets make fun of their poorly worded reviews and put them on blast?

Every semi popular game has reviews like this. This is such low quality content, why do you publish it? Lets show up idiots?

ckmondavi
Guest
ckmondavi

Social commentary, and non white male characters aside. Can we all agree terrible PC ports should be criticized! Also Just because I can afford / enjoy playing games on a beefy PC, doesn’t make me a better (superior) person who plays on console.

Landon Brown
Guest
Landon Brown

I bathe in pc gamer tears.

Martijn Fiering
Guest
Martijn Fiering

The very first guy you kill… is a black man. A haitian. You can also kill a black woman in the game if your decisions make it so. The Mafia of that time (if we’re going for the historically accurate route) didn’t employ (a lot) of black ‘soldiers’. Sal Marcano is a racist white man/don, so obviously he won’t have a lot of black people working for him in his illegal rackets – at least not as important enforcers. They COULD have changed that, but they didn’t. Simple as that. I know you want videogames to be a form of… Read more »

Wolfie
Guest
Wolfie

Censorship! I call censorship!

No, I kid, but sorry people, apparently my satire that racism has never existed has been eaten for today by the automated system. Le sigh.

I even worked in “slap to the face!”