It’s a new Mass Effect, so you know what means – it’s time for everyone to behave like it’s 28 Days Later!
Yes, Mass Effect: Andromeda is the latest game from BioWare, a studio with a ton of fans who seem to be angry all of the time. This latest installment has certainly given rise to some outrage, with poor dialog, unpopular gameplay mechanics, and character animations that range from hilarious to ghastly.
Also, apparently “liberalism” is the reason this happened? What a time to be alive!
Do you think this game got Metabombed? Oh friend, they’re Metabombing the shit out of this one!
Both the PC and PS4 versions have the same user review score average of 4.3 while the Xbox One comes in at 4.2 with significantly less reviews than either competing platform. More users reviewed the PS4 version, with 1369 ratings at the time of writing.
As always, I’ve compiled the most provocative, fascinating, and downright amusing reviews for your salacious enjoyment – uncut and uncorrected. Whether you agree or disagree with the reaction to Andromeda, this selection of salt ought to sizzle your beef!
Mitya J kicks things off, already pissed that Dragon Age was somehow killed not once but twice! And here I thought we were sick of zombie games…
This is not Mass Effect game. This is not what the fans were waiting for, nor “just a good game for newcomers”. Sure, you’ve killed Dragon Age, for two times ina row now, but good god, the latest ME game was already not very good, and then you’re giving us this peace of space junk? Pffsht. Nope.
EA, please, stop killing good companies and franchises. Just stop. (0/10)
YendorNostrebor has a rather high rating for a Metabomb article, but I had to include it for the sheer tragic poetry of their review.
Art is not a democracy. It is a tyranny. We bow down before Shakespeare, Nina Simone, and Margaret Atwood because they are absolute monarchs of their craft and art. Please Bioware, hire the best.
It is breaking my heart to write this. (5/10)
I think I need to add “X is dead” to my list of familiar phrases we see during Metabombs. It can join “a joke” and “a slap in the face.” Anyway, here’s ez_ho.
Well i was so disappointed about this game, so i had to create an account here to just warn those guys who want to buy and play this “game”. There is nothing familiar with mass effect universe except may be music. Animation in dialogues is disgusting, story line is so bad you don’t wanna wait for the end. Garbage. Do not waste your money. Bioware is dead. (0/10)
I love the last line of mikehettfield’s review.
After 8 hours I can certanlly say that this games was Rushed, the gampleplay is the best in the series, but the story doesnt’t make sense, the planets are deserts, I got bored at the 3rd hour, when are we going to learn space stuff is not ready yet? don’t waste your money on nerd’s games. (4/10)
You know, I’ve just realized how many times an angry user review can read exactly like one of Donald Trump’s tweets.
Absolute garbage and waste of my money, very bad game. Full of glitches and bugs, boring gameplay and terrible story and animations. Poorly optimized, everything about this game is an epic failure, how could this have happened? (0/10)
Oh masterchief247, I admire your revolutionary spirit, but I think you’re gonna need to poll for a consensus before you nail this declaration to any church doors.
Sorry, but if game is released that is buggy, incomplete, broken, or otherwise not worthy of retail release, I give it a zero. None of this partial credit garbage. When a AAA franchise game gets released with some of the most basic issues with animation, design, programming, clipping, poor textures, etc, a zero to me means it isn’t even worthy of a score. It has obviously not been sent through QA and polished beforehand. Let this be a warning to all the developers out there. We the gaming community will no longer pay full retail for a broken game, AND will no longer act as your free QA team to report all the problems for you AFTER we’ve purchased it just so you can patch it after release and save a buck not having to hire your own QA personnel. WE DON”T WORK FOR YOU. YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING FOR US!!! YOUR CUSTOMERS!! (0/10)
If any of you would be surprised to learn that “SJWs” are being blamed for ruining games again, you ain’t lived through a BioWare release before. Ain’t that right, DonMega?
You know what I liked to do in the previous mass effect games? I liked to plan out fights, slow down the combat. I also liked giving orders and commands to my ai partners. I liked giving one partner a sniper rifle and setting him up in a sniper position and ordering other characters to use specific skills during a fight.
ME: A has none of that. The AI are empty shells that look like mannequins without a soul. The SJW crowd ruined another game with their anti white drivel. I was trying to make an all white character only to be able to choose slightly tanned skin color. 2 male gay characters and 3 lesbians are basically your crew. A black character that sounds like TUPAC 220 years into the future. This game is brutal and a disgrace to the wonderful trilogy and yes I kinda liked mass effect 3. (0/10)
Let’s compound that last review with the considered words of jameswh.
Bioware have made a complete dud with this game. Yes it will appeal to your average Kotaku/Ploygon reading bleeding-heart liberal, but for the huge amount of us that don’t fit into that category, it’s a mess. Lets forget about the boring space-shooter gameplay, or the dull object scanning, or the awful “collect X amount of these things please Jeeves!” side-missions. Lets instead focus on what this game is all about… being a virtual romancing sim for nerds. Well, it can’t even do this right. With animimations that look on par with a 10 year old game, childish dialogue (that’s probably an insult to children) wasting the time and effort voice actors put in (I’d be pretty damn angry at Bioware for that)… you’d be forgiven for thinking this game was some elaborate hoax. No its just another lazy game from Bioware, another cut n’ paste RPG churned out for the rabid “do no wrong” fanbase. The average reviews should tell you everything you need to know… this game, and indeed this company, are not worth your time or money. (0/10)
the_cringe just has a really nice story for us.
I¨m a big fan of ME1 and 2 so I called in sick for work and prepared to spend the whole week playing ME: Andromeda. Never mind that, a few hours in and already felt sorely disappointed. Called my boss and said it must have been food poisoning and I already feel better. He is a gamer too and knew immediately what was up and laughed his ass off at me for looking forward to this “mess”. (3/10)
Don’t know about you, but I’d like to hear from MIxaylo now.
Mass Effect 1 have beater face animations, and is 10 years old game. Voice acting is terrible. And the sedest part game is boring. I’m gonna play first two game again. If they dont patch this game, don’t waist money and time (1/10)
crackajaxx is here with things to say as well!
Kind of lacking those 9/10’s 10/10 perfect reviews aren’t you EAware? maybe you should have paid those reviewers like you did last time then this wouldn’t have happened. But I’m going to do my part and bomb this **** game like it deserves
After ME3 I didn’t expect these clowns to come back with another mass effect. of course I was wrong, and its the **** sandwich you can come to expect from these losers
-Flat out bad writing, well of course can’t have a biowarEA game without that
-worse animations than games from 2001. **** timesplitters had better animations than this **** I’m not even lying
-Forgettable characters at best
-locked at thirty (30) FPS, and it looks dated doesn’t even look good
buying this game and continuing to feed this cancer just makes you part of the problem. Don’t buy **** from these jokers (0/10)
thebigbawk isn’t happy about Mass Effect: Andromeda, which was released this week for consoles and PC.
Abosolutely an abomination. Pathetic excuse for a Mass Effect game and EA should be thoroughly ashamed. Please take you money else where, or go back and play ME 1 and 2. (1/10)
SofaTrooper continues the brave fight against the liberals who apparently made this game suck. I’d say I need to catch up on my anti-social justice rhetoric because I’m lost… but I might be happier ignoring this latest round of “blame the boogeymen.”
This is the result of allowing SJW’s and liberal progressives to dictate your game design. . By pandering to feminism all the women now look like caricatures of Jay Leno. The facial animations are terrible with women that look too comical to be believed.
The majority of people like looking at sexy people, its a fact of life get over it. Hilarious walking animations and many other cliches to numerous to bother mentioning. I can’t even be bothered to finish it, worst game of the year so far. Commander shepherd is rolling in his grave, Sad. (0/10)
Now this review from a user known simply as ke? I kinda dug this one. Succinct and a little bit witty.
If you like to laugh about bugs you will love this garbage.
The emotional face animations let you laugh so hard that your character will fall through the ground. (1/10)
2ofCups continues this theory that The Lib’rulz turned Andromeda into a monstrosity.
Bioware can suck it! Propaganda at it’s finest. They should just change thier name to SocialWare, since the main premise of this game is all about how many snowfakes you can pack onto this sorry excuse of a snowman. (0/10)
Seriously, are all these comments coming from Fake Nerd Boys who have never actually played a BioWare game before? Why are “fans” always so shocked when one of the more progressive companies in the industry does progressive things? I’m very confused about what these “fans” think BioWare’s work consists of.
This game is pure SJW propaganda, it’s not worth your money! Plus, the graphics are bad and the animations are sh*t. The story is bad too. Therefore, the “”””game”””” is not worth any money. (0/10)
More of this stuff via speedyzia.
A faulty product where everything is half-baked, with the exception of normal and facial animations which are just in class of its own when it comes to utter failure. Not to mention Male Ryder only has 1 human female option, which is just dumb, SJW propaganda is strong with this one. (0/10)
Bioware and EA just stop feeding us some garbage product for full praise. Stop supporting feminism and stupid well-sold game conceptions. Start making good games! (0/10)
Steide56 provides our obligatory “slap” moment, but at least has criticism rooted in the game itself and not in paranoid delusions.
God damn it, what a failure of a game and what a slap in the face to the rest of this beautiful franchise. I was actually getting rather excited before the release of the game having high hopes. Lets round of this beautiful month of march which has given us gems like nier: automata, horizon zero dawn and of course breath of the wild. Yeah it has some fun combat and ok art direction here and there but besides terrible story, terrible and annoying characters, facial animations that belong in the year 2005 and performance issues this game deserves its 0 purely for the lack of SOUL. Clearly not made out of any aspiration to tell a great story or explore new ideas but rather “hey we have this beloved franchise that many people hold in high regards how about we take a huge **** on it and then sell it to the people for 60$ + DLC. Disgusting (0/10)
bacchus_plays may play, but bacchus_plays doesn’t understand how fiction – especially science fiction – works. They’d be shocked at how political sci-fi has always been… to say nothing of Mass Effect itself.
What a way to ruin a franchise by bad animation, bad acting, bad story, bugs, etc. Stop indoctrinating fiction with political and liberal bs. They seem to be doing this across the board with many franchises and even classic fairy tales like Beauty and the Beast. Stop polluting fictional work and make a proper science fiction game. Example. Remember Aliens? Not a game but part of the entertainment world.. James Cameron said Sigourney asked a lot of questions why she has to use guns in it, that she actually loves the alien. etc. Even James Cameron had to say no to those liberal ideas.. that’s not how the story of Ripley works and bringing in current political views doesn’t make for a good story. We all know how those ideas turned out in Alien Resurrection. (0/10)
It’s time for JohnRedPepper to do his thing!
Words can’t describe just how disappointing this is, how the heck does a game with so many bugs and glitches get released, easily a year or so early, so once again the majority of the public basically get ripped off, but this time by greedy liberal progressive c grade devs and publishers. My kids 5th grade drama class could produce a better script then this absolute dribble they coughed up, I’ve heard cats fighting at 3am that sound better then the voice acting, a d grade performance at best. It will take a lot to beat this mass fail of epic proportions for 2017. (0/10)
Harsh, onetwotry. Harsh.
You can see that there are several positive reviews 🙂
Don’t miss your opportunity to chat with developers, designers and their friends & family who have no idea how to do a computer game and in a complete denial as truth is hard for them.
Say hello to Bioware and EA. Hey guys! It would be nice to see you bankrupt in next 15 years. (0/10)
I think that’ll do it. There’s more. SO much more, but it all pretty much starts looking the same.
Hopefully we’ll have an Andromeda review on the site in the near future, unless I get too bored and something better comes out, which is not unlikely at all!