Metabombed: Mass Effect: Andromeda Is ‘Unbelievably Sad’

The review teardown of Mass Effect: Andromeda was something of a slow burn – while we can normally post a Metabomb article within a day or two of the game’s release, it took some time for the grudge against BioWare’s latest to push back those defending it.

I’m not exactly sure when the scales finally tipped, but as the humble historian who catalogues such things, it is my duty to inform you that Andromeda has been Metabombed!

Yeah, it’s ages since the game came out, but sod it. Let’s do what we usually do anyway. It’s content, right?

Andromeda has of course enjoyed mixed reviews from critics and fans alike, launching in a clearly unfinished state and garnering further criticism for its lacklustre characters and inability to infuse the Mass Effect universe with new life as hoped. More to the point, it’s a BioWare game, and we all know that’s enough to set some people off.

The game scored a middling 5/10 from yours truly, which is somewhat in line with the results of the continued Metabombing – the game holds a user review scores average of 4.9 on PC, 4.8 on PS4, and 4.8 on Xbox One.

As always, I’ve plunged my peepers into the user reviews to see what people had to say, emerging with juicy (completely unedited) comments from the best and brightest among the review aggregate’s community!

Just yesterday, Labanfls had to comment on the game’s most significant flaw.

The lack of Garrus is repulsive (4/10)

Hopping into the “most helpful” section, and here’s StarScream2092 with a lesson for us all.

Andromeda is another reminder why not to pre-order games. Honestly anybody who thought that this can live up to the trilogy was instane. People should stop defending this game because it have great combat and above average graphics.

1. Writing is childish, like really boring. Here and there it made you smile but it was far less than in trilogy.

2. Story is just a place holder, nothing epic. Feels like they wanted it to be just average.

3. Animations, are are a HUGE disaster. If EA will be happy with sales of Andromeda they will create another mess like this and sell it. So be prepared.

They treat it like any another company, -make the game at lowest cost possible, sell as AAA game.
Witcher 3 is an exception. (2/10)

EventualHorizon is a heck of a username, and here’s some words they had to say about that videogame thing.

Total trash. Nevermind any of the other complaints. The god-awful characters/dialogue/storyline make this a worthless game. There is zero plot tension to pull you through the game because every plot device is simply present to give you a bunch of uninteresting objectives (picking ‘military or scientific’ outposts to drop on planets) etc… Completely lacking any time of literary devices that could be used to actually make the characters feel like they are individuals. Off-key voice acting delivering already cringeworthy lines makes things even worse. I mean, after you get confronted by a hostile alien commander of some sort who tries to capture your ship, all your character can muster is “I wonder who THAT guy was?”. Awful awful awful, DO NOT BUY THIS. Just another **** contrived open-world game. (0/10)

It wouldn’t be a BioWare discussion without someone dropping everybody’s favorite three-letter abbreviation. Fortunately, Jmaconpc has us covered.

Here’s some words to describe this game:
-G rated
-Family friendly
-Fetch quests
-Awkward
-Cringey
-Unfinished
-Lazy

I have never cringed so hard and so regularly through a game.

Finished the game hoping every hour that it would get better. It doesn’t.
I spent more time watching my ship take off and land than I did playing the game.
The animations are laughable, facial expressions, zig zag running, clipping, even crossed arms are broken.
The combat feels good but it is repetitive so you have to change it up a lot. The enemies are all the same and very easy.
The dialogue options are fallout 4 level bad and decisions mean nothing.

I bought this game because I read some positive reviews, it appears that those positive reviews were paid or are SJWs or something.. (4/10)

Vertuxus is taking no prisoners.

It is not Mass effect, it sims in the space with scan simulator. The developers just spit in the face of gamers, close this office and dismiss the staff (0/10)

An interesting thing I’m learning from these reviews is that Dragon Age: Inquisition was bad. I thought people liked that one. It’s hard to keep track of which BioWare games have upset everybody these days. Anyway, here’s Comrade_007.

It`s not Mass Effect. it`s Dragon Age Inquisition: Space Edition.
And this game is so bad that I almost cried. I’ve been waiting for 5 years to play this piece of sh**.
Unbelievably sad. (0/10)

I don’t think Gordonox liked Mass Effect: Andromeda.

This game is a big **** thanks EA for ruining my fav game series. **** you.
. ………………………………… (0/10)

Folks like dalr just keep hammering on that “Inquisition In Space” idea.

Dragon Age Inquisition in space:

-boring
-repetitive
-ugly characters
-bad animations
-fetch quests
-MMO style world
-awkward writing

What the hell happened with BioWare… (1/10)

Credit to Merostin, they tried with that opening line. Not very hard, but they tried.

This deserves no Mass Affection.

I keep it short:

ME1, ME2, ME3 are about story, characters, species and relations between the latter two.

ME Andromeda tries to be the same, but it also includes new gameplay layers due to its focus on an outdated openworld concept. The result: It fails at both ME’s core elements (see above) and at being a great openworld game.

Sad, but true. (4/10)

CognizantAngel can be proud of the fact they’re written one of my favorite featured reviews.

This Piece of Crap, that somehow dares to wear off the name of an iconic Mass Effect franchise, falls flat in its’ every aspect, especially the RPG elements, which are the main elements of any ME game.
You won’t find ANYTHING in this potboiler, unless you’re an infant fool.

Even the Combat System is bad compared to one features in ME3, which is pretty ironic.

DON’T BUY THIS CRAP.
STOP FUNDING EA AND BIOWARE MONTREAL. (1/10)

To be honest I could read people complaining about Dragon Age and Mass Effect all day. Not that I have a particular dog in the fight… or maybe that’s the reason. Anyway, time for Allmass!

Bioware is dead, time to admit it. All last members of senior creative staff left early 2016, and this abortion of a game was made by interns and students.

– zero creativity and reused story concepts: remnants/protheans studied by Liara/PB, badass krogan Wrex/Drack, evil antagonist Saren/Archon, generic evil cannon fodder geth/kett and so on
– writing looks like it was done by 15 year old fangirl, and is downright retarded in some places
– mindnumblingly boring and repetitive open world activities look like they were ripped from generic ubisoft game
– do I even need to beat a dead horse of horrible facial animations and Sara’s atrocious face? Holy **** I honestly feel bad for Jayde Rossi

EA just decided to cash in on diehard fans of a dead franchise before the end of 2016 fiscal year and call it a day.
Bioware will be dissolved shortly after they push couple of crappy DLCs for this monstrosity.
Fifth fleet out. (1/10)

BPoole continues a familiar tale.

Dragon Age: Inquisition 2.0, now with space travel!

Such bad animations

Really poor dialog

Lots of fetch quests, without meaningful choices & consequences.

AI gets in the way. How did AI get this bad?

Only good thing from the game is the feel of the combat. (1/10)

ul876will is drinking deep from the anti-SJW well, which I always find uniquely amusing whenever it comes to self-professed fans of Mass Effect. 

Reasons to buy

– It’s called Mass Effect

Reasons NOT to

– It is boring
– The story is cheesy
– The animations are a joke
– The graphics were downgraded
– The characters,specially the women,are horrible
– It was made by SJWs

Now,if you still want to buy it,it will be your problem. I did my part to advertise you. (1/10)

I was worried about how bad this game was, but according to Oersted the damage is pretty proportionate.

EA, Mass Effect: Andromeda is a catastrophe of proportionate levels.

For our hard earned money we earned you owe us FREE DLCS for 2 YEARS for this game have Bioware make up for this catastrophic game that was supposed to be AAA.

Also P2P needs to be removed from MP on PC and replaced with dedicated servers PLEASE.

I won’t be buying anymore Bioware/EA games until I see this game’s animations patched to be fixed and FREE dlcs. (1/10)

Not sure if I’m more stricken by Ober’s belief in “forced diversity” or the serious crime of LORE RAPE.

Where do I begin, between the cringe worthy dialogue, crappy main story/villain, forced diversity bs, glitches, lore rape, ugly character design your characters look and feel like they are consistently suffering from Vietnam flashbacks with blank faces and thousand yard stares boring side quests that feel like chores

There are good things about this game but none of them, let me repeat, NONE OF THEM, make up for it, get it on sale at mcdonalds dollar menu prices if you want to buy it, otherwise it’s not worth the money. (4/10)

Oh be nice, MarcusAgrippa77, Greg Tito loved that one!

Bioware has made some of the best games ever,however this is not one of them. Animations,story and voice acting are all terrible. Even Dragon Age 2 is better than this. (0/10)

Brubble’s name sounds like how I imagine they sound when they’re angry.

5 YEARS? It took 5YEARS to throw this POS together?! Really? ….really? 5 years.
This is what happens when you farm out to sweat shop teams. This is what happens when Bioware hires based on ethnicity (so they can pat themselves on the back for their diversity) instead of actual talent. This is what happens when your focus is more on the trans/lgbt/alien sex than the important aspects of the game. This is what happens when you give the writing to some college undergrads. This is what happens when EA gets their little rat claws too deeply involved. I could go on and on but you get the point, Its garbage. THIS is what happens. (1/10)

Hahaha, I honestly wasn’t expecting this kind of premium salt, but here’s Navinor with hahahahahaha…

What enrages me most is the fact the game is trying to teach me about political correctness.

The characters are slapping me their feminist and SJW ideology right in my face.

Dear Bioware (well we all know you are not Bioware anymore…) please, PLEASE stop trying to teach me stupid political agendas through your games.

The only thing you are achieving is fueling my fury. And you do not wand that. Because nothing enrages me more, when my beloved universe is occupied by SJWs and feminists.

My only reaction to this is making shure your game will turn to ash. And i will gladly work on it.

+

Bad animations

Bad dialog

Bad writing

Bad dialog wheel

MP uses p2p instead of dedicated servers. (1/10)

Everybody shut up, because D34THGR1PS has taken to the stage!

I don’t understand the love here. I think this game is solid ****
– Cringeworthy Joss Whedon-style writing.
– Voice acting is utter garbage.
– Offline MMO scanning fun for whole family.
– They managed to **** up their own lore.
– Plot holes and illogical void bigger than the game’s budget.
– Liberal twitter blogger’s wet dream. SJW cuck agenda everywhere.
– Bioware fixing “offensive” transgender npc dialogue lines instead of actual game.
– Fixing animation problems weeks after the realease instead of making game solid in the first place and charging it full price for players to beta test it.

+ You can actually save your time and money by not buying this garbage. (2/10)

Spandex gives us a detailed breakdown. Emphasis on the word “breakdown.”

Anybody who gives to this game more than 6 are idiots. Sorry, but this is true. This game suck balls. Original trilogy was an amazing game with epic story, breathtaking dialogs and excelent characters. Congrats BioWare Montreal. U re **** up the biggest legacy of old BioWare team. There are no words to count how much things this game ruined. My soul is first one. Dialogs in this game are boring and stupid. You don’t give a **** about the charactes, there are boring and not intresting. Story is ridiculous. 12-13 hours of story. Is this an action-rpg game? Really? No, of course it’s not. Side quests are monotonous. I hate this game. This is not Mass Effect. This is mistake! 1/10. Good bye. (1/10)

Xtolp demonstrating the root of those classic “paid off” review accusations. They literally cannot comprehend of disagreement, hence the critics are on the take.

An insult to the original series. It is just a cash grab. And why does this thing even have any positive reviews. I can understand why the “critics” are mostly positive ($$$$), but I don’t get why the user reviews (the important ones) have ANY positive feedback. (2/10)

I disagree with Freestate2nd. I wouldn’t even say BioWare bothered with the silk on this one.

A total disaster. Poorly optimization, plenty of bugs. A bland story without soul, stupid characters, technical flaws in the animations that destroy emotional involvement with them and changes in combat that make them simpler than the previous ones. A turd covered with silk. A loss of money and time. (0/10)

I can’t handle anymore, so we’ll end with someone whose username echoes what I said when I read some of their review. Here’s OfCourse!

Continuation of a downward spiral of BioWare. Worst Mass Effect, bad rpg and terrible game. Maybe they would know how to make a good game if they hired talented developers instead of racist ideologues.
I we want better games, we need to stop buying garbage like this. (0/10)

Leave a Reply

188 Comments on "Metabombed: Mass Effect: Andromeda Is ‘Unbelievably Sad’"

avatar
Chris Topher
Member

I want to buy the game but only now it’s patched and half price. I played the demo and was genuinely upset but it’s still worth a play. Just wish it was more horizon zero dawn and less what ever the hell it is. Saying that hzd has boring side quests and poor facial,animation on side characters and poor,writing outside of the main story.

Cross
Member

The guy is right. I don’t “wand” any of this shit.

great as always Jim.

Daniel Mårtensson
Member
I hope Bioware does better in the future. They do offer a special kind of story, where your character is some kind of micromanaging leader that’s utterly shit at delegating. So I was sad to see the state of Andromeda at release, but I wasn’t really looking for more Mass Effect anyway (not enough time for big RPG’s right now). Still, it is sad to see that the decline in quality continues. I’m part of the minority(?) that liked more of DA:I than I didn’t. Sure, 80 % of quests in that game are mind-numbingly boring filler. But at least… Read more »
Jecht342
Member

I’m in a gaming Facebook group and every few days someone does a “I don’t get all the hate” post for this game. It’s got a weak story and it launched buggy. What’s not to get? It’s actually got a lot of good qualities, but the damn thing crashed on me so many times that I couldn’t really appreciate them.

Денис Фролов
Member

Quality of story is subjective. And honestly, after swallowing shit that DAI story is, Bioware community isn’t in any position to judge.

Can sympathize with bugs though. Combat freezing was fucking horrible.

Aninana
Guest
Aninana

I liked DAI because of the story, sure some dialogs were cringe worthy but i really liked the lore and characters. MEA is a disappointment, the technical issues made it difficult to focuse on the positive aspects of the game, like the combat. The story is a bit cliche but it has potentital. Though i seriously doubt most players will buy another MEA game before they AT LEAST fix some of the major issues and perhaps release a DLC or two.

Chris Topher
Member

Dai was ok. That’s a lot. They really tried. Mass effect a seems like they lost the plot or will to live at some point.

Nobody\'s Fanboy
Guest
Nobody\'s Fanboy
I can see being disheartened by it feeling like “Dragon Age in Space”. Not because DA was bad, not even because they share a lot of similarities…but because they have enough differences that expecting one and getting the other is jarring. Really, and I know this will stick in Jim’s craw [or after today’s episode, is it claw now?] since he was very vocal about it, it’s not unlike making a cooperative FPS and calling it “Alone in the Dark”. Fallouts 3 and 4 got very similar criticism…an excellent game all the same, but nearly impossible to shake the feeling… Read more »
Dragongelf
Member

What, you mean like Dungeon Keeper Mobile?

Michael Wolfe
Member

Burnout… At least that franchise died on a great final game… I hope EA lets it R.I.P. and doesn’t try to zombify it…

PsychoWedge
Member

What are the SJW political agendas some of these fucktards are whining about? The canonical Ryder being Sara instead of the dude and the same-sex-relationships or what?

Mathew G. Smith
Member

The mystery is how they think the original trilogy (which portrays a future where feminism, multiculturalism, and gay acceptance have won so conclusively they aren’t even worth mentioning) somehow didn’t have “SJW politics”.

Arella Jardin
Member
Arella Jardin

Bioware are “SJWs” (a meaningless, Orwellian tern) because they wish to be as inclusive to as many different types of people as possible (and selling more games in the process). Which, to intolerant people, is “pandering.” Literally anything that doesn’t directly cater to straight white males, is pandering.

TheLastShogun
Guest
TheLastShogun

An Ironic, and hypocritical statement, because the latter is also very much “pandering”.

Jun Kurosu
Member

What a waste of hot air

JediSpectre117
Guest
JediSpectre117

So does this mean MEA has been metabombed twice? I remember Jim doing something similar to this just after it was released.

Денис Фролов
Member
I started MEA with extreme bias against it – not because I hated game itself, but because I hated DAI and ME3, and at this point thought Bioware to be pretty much dead. Still, it was new ME, and my friend (the one that convinced me to buy DAI back in the day) told it was pretty good. So, I’ve bitten, against my best judgment. So, my first impression was “hey, it’s not as bad as I thought it will be”. It was cringy at times, but nowhere near retardation Inquisition was, AND Andromeda had good combat system to boot.… Read more »
Luckycarrot
Member

I have zero stakes regarding the game, but these bros that can’t write two lines without one of the following: cuck/sjw/liberal/feminism/agenda …How can these precious men withstand to live in a world where half of the population is women? Must be a constant torture.

Somebody
Guest
Somebody

Likely because most of them are trying to perform a parody, but not realising the audience needs to be in on the joke for it to land.

Gaijin-
Guest
Gaijin-
The way in which these people convey their frustration may be over the top, and the 0s and the 1s probably go too far, but the feeling is fully justified. Bioware not only abandoned a beloved franchise to an under-qualified team (because, well, the A-team was busy creating the next Destiny-like cash cow), resulting in a highly mediocre game crawling with glitches at release. Not satisfied with that, they also got the franchise killed. So while these comments may look extreme and we all can pretend to be cool enough to make fun of them, they are actually necessary: they… Read more »
RomaDoma
Guest
RomaDoma

Actually no. These reviews are not necessary. These reviews are part of the reason so many people dismiss gaming and gamers. It’s people like these reviewers that fuel the view that gamers are childish and unhinged. These kinds of reviews only serve to make companies less inclined to listen to the fans because they are so childish. It’s not sending a clear message, it’s shouting toxic bullshit into the wind.

It is important to let developers know when they’ve messed up, yes. But equally important is the way you deliver that message.

Skaje
Guest
Skaje

They’re probably playing the fool and trolling because they know people like Jim eat these reviews up as confirmation bias for their own views on what they think these people are like

Gaijin-
Guest
Gaijin-

Yes, they are necessary.

The thing with aggregates is that extremists on one end -say the 0s and 1s- compensate for extremists on the other, i.e. all the unrealistic 8s and above.

Anyone with a minimum of common sense can look at the average and median scores and get the message that the game was not well received.

But for that statistics 101 principle to work, you either keep the distribution as is or remove outliers on both extremes of the distribution, not just the one extreme that bruises your ego.

Al George Dragomir
Member

I like it, for all that’s worth. Hope to see another ME from these guys.

Arella Jardin
Member
Arella Jardin
I think the tipping point came after the revelations of the behind the scenes problems, and the announcements to put ME on ice and cancelling any singleplayer DLC. Anyone who actually enjoyed the game, like myself, it felt like a betrayal of our trust, and we lost motivation to keep excusing the game’s faults. I do like the game. The story, the characters, the writing, the combat, the exploration. I found it all pretty good. At least in terms of the more critical missions. Anything in the Priority Ops or Allies and Relationships tabs of the mission menu, are on… Read more »
Austin_SJ
Guest
Austin_SJ

I don’t wand to pick on these people too much. I don’t wand to make them angry.

Cross
Member

I see what you did there good sir, kudos.

Sleepy Will
Guest
Sleepy Will

My only reaction to this is to plug Shure Microphones.

Pookie101
Member
i played the game in the first week and i frankly detested it.. the animation and some of the dialogue were cringe worthy “my face is tired” seriously??? who writes shit that terrible. around the 20 hour mark the game started to grow on me and by the end of the game i was enjoying the new crew and my snarky ryder. one of the big take a ways i had with the game was realising that here was a mass effect game but this wasnt my shepard, this wasnt my crew.. it was insulting.. once i realised that i… Read more »
Benj
Guest
Benj

Not a “slap in the face” but a “spit in the face”.

Branching out a bit with the metaphors I see.

Sleepy Will
Guest
Sleepy Will
I always find criticism of writing very interesting. I performed a tiny, meaningless little experiment when the game came out – In response to some of the criticisms of it’s writing, I made like I agreed, and posted up a few quotes to prove my point. Only the quotes I posted were taken from the Bloody Barons questline in the Witcher 3, Keira’s romance line, the heart of stone stuff and a few choice others. Now I know you can pick a million holes inn my methodology, I’m way ahead of you, but, the response was interesting. The writing I… Read more »
Arella Jardin
Member
Arella Jardin
I think the tonal shift is the real root of the “bad writing” complaints. Bad writing is such a non specific criticism, and it reads as merely “I don’t like it.” The ME trilogy was a game of mostly veterans and grislied badasses saving a galaxy from destruction. Andromeda has a bunch of inexperienced ragtag pioneers trying to build a new life. It’s like comparing Babylon 5 to Deep Space 9. On paper they appear near identical, but there’s a definite tonal difference. I thought the writing was good. I’ll put it this way. I assumed I’d hate Liam and… Read more »
Allan Weallans
Member
I definitely noticed the same thing with Mass Effect 3. I don’t think people were wrong to dislike it (because that would be ridiculous), but I definitely think a lot of them were wrong about why they disliked it. For instance, to say the ending was a deus ex machina is essentially accurate; to say the ending is bad because it’s a deus ex machina betrays a fundamental lack of understanding of what a deus ex machina is, how it works and why it can be (not is: can be) bad. That doesn’t mean the people who yelled about it… Read more »
Joccaren
Guest
Joccaren
I think it’ll be more the fact that a line taken out of context can be either good or bad; its the context and other lines, alongside delivery and performance that determines that sort of thing. So, its kind of akin to writing an Essay by taking a single line or two from other great essays, and jamming them together. There’s no guarantee your essay will be great, or even make sense. Put simply, writing, especially screenplays and videogames, has a lot more to it than just the words, so quoting a ‘great’ bit of writing out of context can… Read more »
Hurbster
Member
The glitches I can live with but it’s the terrible writing and weak missions that finally caused me to uninstall the game. Liam’s loyalty (well all they do is unlock the final rank of upgrades for the characters – you can’t actually fail them) was the deal breaker. Also, IMO it’s a small team of companions so when a couple of them are irritating to the point of not wanting to use them (Liam and Peebee) that’s a factor as well. Also, turning the paragon/renegade system into a bunch of answers that don’t make a damn bit of difference and… Read more »
Arcane Azmadi
Guest
Arcane Azmadi

Well, it’s certainly impossible to deny accusations that it was a shameless cash-grab. When you create an original IP structured in the form of an epic trilogy coming to a decisive and conclusive finale (regardless of your opinion of the actual QUALITY of said finale), promptly going “oh and here’s another one” a few years later is literally nothing more than a cash-in. Just wait until FromSoft cave in and make Dark Souls 4. You know it’s gonna happen.

Gennadios
Guest
Gennadios

Just because Dragon Age: Inquisition wasn’t bad per sé, doesn’t mean you can’t knock on Andromeda for being the same game. DAI was still a flawed game, and EAWare has been making the same mistakes over and goddamn over. A previous year’s 7/10 game should be this year’s 4/10 game if shit ‘aint fixed.

Sith Holocron
Guest
Sith Holocron

Were there no funny (or cringe-inducing) positive reviews?

UnluckyGamingChannel
Member

Always thought Inquisition was a bit rubbish, didn’t realise it was a general perception though, then again, i didn’t look into it after I first played it.

I may give it a second chance once it is deeply discounted in a few years, but based on that Origin first impressions trial that I tried, it is a game I would rather pretend didn’t exist, like Inquisition.

Dan
Guest
Dan

The people rating this game have no idea what they are on about.

Godpuncher
Guest
Godpuncher

It was a little disappointing compared to the trilogy, but people giving it 0-2 out of 10? Come on. I’ve played the originals 2-3 times each, and I’m on my 2nd play through of Andromeda. I’d give it a 6 or 7…. 2 no way anyone can justify a 2. G-rates? Seriously?

Pookie101
Member

i know right.. its not great, its not “this game has murdered my kitten” its decent, especially now they have patched it alot. a 5-7 is a pretty fair score and i went from hating it to loving it

greg
Guest
greg

But you cannot complain at anyone who reviewed it on release and never went back to it.

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