Metabombed: Mass Effect: Andromeda Is ‘Unbelievably Sad’

The review teardown of Mass Effect: Andromeda was something of a slow burn – while we can normally post a Metabomb article within a day or two of the game’s release, it took some time for the grudge against BioWare’s latest to push back those defending it.

I’m not exactly sure when the scales finally tipped, but as the humble historian who catalogues such things, it is my duty to inform you that Andromeda has been Metabombed!

Yeah, it’s ages since the game came out, but sod it. Let’s do what we usually do anyway. It’s content, right?

Andromeda has of course enjoyed mixed reviews from critics and fans alike, launching in a clearly unfinished state and garnering further criticism for its lacklustre characters and inability to infuse the Mass Effect universe with new life as hoped. More to the point, it’s a BioWare game, and we all know that’s enough to set some people off.

The game scored a middling 5/10 from yours truly, which is somewhat in line with the results of the continued Metabombing – the game holds a user review scores average of 4.9 on PC, 4.8 on PS4, and 4.8 on Xbox One.

As always, I’ve plunged my peepers into the user reviews to see what people had to say, emerging with juicy (completely unedited) comments from the best and brightest among the review aggregate’s community!

Just yesterday, Labanfls had to comment on the game’s most significant flaw.

The lack of Garrus is repulsive (4/10)

Hopping into the “most helpful” section, and here’s StarScream2092 with a lesson for us all.

Andromeda is another reminder why not to pre-order games. Honestly anybody who thought that this can live up to the trilogy was instane. People should stop defending this game because it have great combat and above average graphics.

1. Writing is childish, like really boring. Here and there it made you smile but it was far less than in trilogy.

2. Story is just a place holder, nothing epic. Feels like they wanted it to be just average.

3. Animations, are are a HUGE disaster. If EA will be happy with sales of Andromeda they will create another mess like this and sell it. So be prepared.

They treat it like any another company, -make the game at lowest cost possible, sell as AAA game.
Witcher 3 is an exception. (2/10)

EventualHorizon is a heck of a username, and here’s some words they had to say about that videogame thing.

Total trash. Nevermind any of the other complaints. The god-awful characters/dialogue/storyline make this a worthless game. There is zero plot tension to pull you through the game because every plot device is simply present to give you a bunch of uninteresting objectives (picking ‘military or scientific’ outposts to drop on planets) etc… Completely lacking any time of literary devices that could be used to actually make the characters feel like they are individuals. Off-key voice acting delivering already cringeworthy lines makes things even worse. I mean, after you get confronted by a hostile alien commander of some sort who tries to capture your ship, all your character can muster is “I wonder who THAT guy was?”. Awful awful awful, DO NOT BUY THIS. Just another **** contrived open-world game. (0/10)

It wouldn’t be a BioWare discussion without someone dropping everybody’s favorite three-letter abbreviation. Fortunately, Jmaconpc has us covered.

Here’s some words to describe this game:
-G rated
-Family friendly
-Fetch quests

I have never cringed so hard and so regularly through a game.

Finished the game hoping every hour that it would get better. It doesn’t.
I spent more time watching my ship take off and land than I did playing the game.
The animations are laughable, facial expressions, zig zag running, clipping, even crossed arms are broken.
The combat feels good but it is repetitive so you have to change it up a lot. The enemies are all the same and very easy.
The dialogue options are fallout 4 level bad and decisions mean nothing.

I bought this game because I read some positive reviews, it appears that those positive reviews were paid or are SJWs or something.. (4/10)

Vertuxus is taking no prisoners.

It is not Mass effect, it sims in the space with scan simulator. The developers just spit in the face of gamers, close this office and dismiss the staff (0/10)

An interesting thing I’m learning from these reviews is that Dragon Age: Inquisition was bad. I thought people liked that one. It’s hard to keep track of which BioWare games have upset everybody these days. Anyway, here’s Comrade_007.

It`s not Mass Effect. it`s Dragon Age Inquisition: Space Edition.
And this game is so bad that I almost cried. I’ve been waiting for 5 years to play this piece of sh**.
Unbelievably sad. (0/10)

I don’t think Gordonox liked Mass Effect: Andromeda.

This game is a big **** thanks EA for ruining my fav game series. **** you.
. ………………………………… (0/10)

Folks like dalr just keep hammering on that “Inquisition In Space” idea.

Dragon Age Inquisition in space:

-ugly characters
-bad animations
-fetch quests
-MMO style world
-awkward writing

What the hell happened with BioWare… (1/10)

Credit to Merostin, they tried with that opening line. Not very hard, but they tried.

This deserves no Mass Affection.

I keep it short:

ME1, ME2, ME3 are about story, characters, species and relations between the latter two.

ME Andromeda tries to be the same, but it also includes new gameplay layers due to its focus on an outdated openworld concept. The result: It fails at both ME’s core elements (see above) and at being a great openworld game.

Sad, but true. (4/10)

CognizantAngel can be proud of the fact they’re written one of my favorite featured reviews.

This Piece of Crap, that somehow dares to wear off the name of an iconic Mass Effect franchise, falls flat in its’ every aspect, especially the RPG elements, which are the main elements of any ME game.
You won’t find ANYTHING in this potboiler, unless you’re an infant fool.

Even the Combat System is bad compared to one features in ME3, which is pretty ironic.


To be honest I could read people complaining about Dragon Age and Mass Effect all day. Not that I have a particular dog in the fight… or maybe that’s the reason. Anyway, time for Allmass!

Bioware is dead, time to admit it. All last members of senior creative staff left early 2016, and this abortion of a game was made by interns and students.

– zero creativity and reused story concepts: remnants/protheans studied by Liara/PB, badass krogan Wrex/Drack, evil antagonist Saren/Archon, generic evil cannon fodder geth/kett and so on
– writing looks like it was done by 15 year old fangirl, and is downright retarded in some places
– mindnumblingly boring and repetitive open world activities look like they were ripped from generic ubisoft game
– do I even need to beat a dead horse of horrible facial animations and Sara’s atrocious face? Holy **** I honestly feel bad for Jayde Rossi

EA just decided to cash in on diehard fans of a dead franchise before the end of 2016 fiscal year and call it a day.
Bioware will be dissolved shortly after they push couple of crappy DLCs for this monstrosity.
Fifth fleet out. (1/10)

BPoole continues a familiar tale.

Dragon Age: Inquisition 2.0, now with space travel!

Such bad animations

Really poor dialog

Lots of fetch quests, without meaningful choices & consequences.

AI gets in the way. How did AI get this bad?

Only good thing from the game is the feel of the combat. (1/10)

ul876will is drinking deep from the anti-SJW well, which I always find uniquely amusing whenever it comes to self-professed fans of Mass Effect. 

Reasons to buy

– It’s called Mass Effect

Reasons NOT to

– It is boring
– The story is cheesy
– The animations are a joke
– The graphics were downgraded
– The characters,specially the women,are horrible
– It was made by SJWs

Now,if you still want to buy it,it will be your problem. I did my part to advertise you. (1/10)

I was worried about how bad this game was, but according to Oersted the damage is pretty proportionate.

EA, Mass Effect: Andromeda is a catastrophe of proportionate levels.

For our hard earned money we earned you owe us FREE DLCS for 2 YEARS for this game have Bioware make up for this catastrophic game that was supposed to be AAA.

Also P2P needs to be removed from MP on PC and replaced with dedicated servers PLEASE.

I won’t be buying anymore Bioware/EA games until I see this game’s animations patched to be fixed and FREE dlcs. (1/10)

Not sure if I’m more stricken by Ober’s belief in “forced diversity” or the serious crime of LORE RAPE.

Where do I begin, between the cringe worthy dialogue, crappy main story/villain, forced diversity bs, glitches, lore rape, ugly character design your characters look and feel like they are consistently suffering from Vietnam flashbacks with blank faces and thousand yard stares boring side quests that feel like chores

There are good things about this game but none of them, let me repeat, NONE OF THEM, make up for it, get it on sale at mcdonalds dollar menu prices if you want to buy it, otherwise it’s not worth the money. (4/10)

Oh be nice, MarcusAgrippa77, Greg Tito loved that one!

Bioware has made some of the best games ever,however this is not one of them. Animations,story and voice acting are all terrible. Even Dragon Age 2 is better than this. (0/10)

Brubble’s name sounds like how I imagine they sound when they’re angry.

5 YEARS? It took 5YEARS to throw this POS together?! Really? ….really? 5 years.
This is what happens when you farm out to sweat shop teams. This is what happens when Bioware hires based on ethnicity (so they can pat themselves on the back for their diversity) instead of actual talent. This is what happens when your focus is more on the trans/lgbt/alien sex than the important aspects of the game. This is what happens when you give the writing to some college undergrads. This is what happens when EA gets their little rat claws too deeply involved. I could go on and on but you get the point, Its garbage. THIS is what happens. (1/10)

Hahaha, I honestly wasn’t expecting this kind of premium salt, but here’s Navinor with hahahahahaha…

What enrages me most is the fact the game is trying to teach me about political correctness.

The characters are slapping me their feminist and SJW ideology right in my face.

Dear Bioware (well we all know you are not Bioware anymore…) please, PLEASE stop trying to teach me stupid political agendas through your games.

The only thing you are achieving is fueling my fury. And you do not wand that. Because nothing enrages me more, when my beloved universe is occupied by SJWs and feminists.

My only reaction to this is making shure your game will turn to ash. And i will gladly work on it.


Bad animations

Bad dialog

Bad writing

Bad dialog wheel

MP uses p2p instead of dedicated servers. (1/10)

Everybody shut up, because D34THGR1PS has taken to the stage!

I don’t understand the love here. I think this game is solid ****
– Cringeworthy Joss Whedon-style writing.
– Voice acting is utter garbage.
– Offline MMO scanning fun for whole family.
– They managed to **** up their own lore.
– Plot holes and illogical void bigger than the game’s budget.
– Liberal twitter blogger’s wet dream. SJW cuck agenda everywhere.
– Bioware fixing “offensive” transgender npc dialogue lines instead of actual game.
– Fixing animation problems weeks after the realease instead of making game solid in the first place and charging it full price for players to beta test it.

+ You can actually save your time and money by not buying this garbage. (2/10)

Spandex gives us a detailed breakdown. Emphasis on the word “breakdown.”

Anybody who gives to this game more than 6 are idiots. Sorry, but this is true. This game suck balls. Original trilogy was an amazing game with epic story, breathtaking dialogs and excelent characters. Congrats BioWare Montreal. U re **** up the biggest legacy of old BioWare team. There are no words to count how much things this game ruined. My soul is first one. Dialogs in this game are boring and stupid. You don’t give a **** about the charactes, there are boring and not intresting. Story is ridiculous. 12-13 hours of story. Is this an action-rpg game? Really? No, of course it’s not. Side quests are monotonous. I hate this game. This is not Mass Effect. This is mistake! 1/10. Good bye. (1/10)

Xtolp demonstrating the root of those classic “paid off” review accusations. They literally cannot comprehend of disagreement, hence the critics are on the take.

An insult to the original series. It is just a cash grab. And why does this thing even have any positive reviews. I can understand why the “critics” are mostly positive ($$$$), but I don’t get why the user reviews (the important ones) have ANY positive feedback. (2/10)

I disagree with Freestate2nd. I wouldn’t even say BioWare bothered with the silk on this one.

A total disaster. Poorly optimization, plenty of bugs. A bland story without soul, stupid characters, technical flaws in the animations that destroy emotional involvement with them and changes in combat that make them simpler than the previous ones. A turd covered with silk. A loss of money and time. (0/10)

I can’t handle anymore, so we’ll end with someone whose username echoes what I said when I read some of their review. Here’s OfCourse!

Continuation of a downward spiral of BioWare. Worst Mass Effect, bad rpg and terrible game. Maybe they would know how to make a good game if they hired talented developers instead of racist ideologues.
I we want better games, we need to stop buying garbage like this. (0/10)


So does this mean MEA has been metabombed twice? I remember Jim doing something similar to this just after it was released.

Денис Фролов
Денис Фролов

I started MEA with extreme bias against it – not because I hated game itself, but because I hated DAI and ME3, and at this point thought Bioware to be pretty much dead. Still, it was new ME, and my friend (the one that convinced me to buy DAI back in the day) told it was pretty good. So, I’ve bitten, against my best judgment. So, my first impression was “hey, it’s not as bad as I thought it will be”. It was cringy at times, but nowhere near retardation Inquisition was, AND Andromeda had good combat system to boot.… Read more »


I have zero stakes regarding the game, but these bros that can’t write two lines without one of the following: cuck/sjw/liberal/feminism/agenda …How can these precious men withstand to live in a world where half of the population is women? Must be a constant torture.


The way in which these people convey their frustration may be over the top, and the 0s and the 1s probably go too far, but the feeling is fully justified. Bioware not only abandoned a beloved franchise to an under-qualified team (because, well, the A-team was busy creating the next Destiny-like cash cow), resulting in a highly mediocre game crawling with glitches at release. Not satisfied with that, they also got the franchise killed. So while these comments may look extreme and we all can pretend to be cool enough to make fun of them, they are actually necessary: they… Read more »

Al George Dragomir

I like it, for all that’s worth. Hope to see another ME from these guys.

Arella Jardin
Arella Jardin

I think the tipping point came after the revelations of the behind the scenes problems, and the announcements to put ME on ice and cancelling any singleplayer DLC. Anyone who actually enjoyed the game, like myself, it felt like a betrayal of our trust, and we lost motivation to keep excusing the game’s faults. I do like the game. The story, the characters, the writing, the combat, the exploration. I found it all pretty good. At least in terms of the more critical missions. Anything in the Priority Ops or Allies and Relationships tabs of the mission menu, are on… Read more »


I don’t wand to pick on these people too much. I don’t wand to make them angry.


i played the game in the first week and i frankly detested it.. the animation and some of the dialogue were cringe worthy “my face is tired” seriously??? who writes shit that terrible. around the 20 hour mark the game started to grow on me and by the end of the game i was enjoying the new crew and my snarky ryder. one of the big take a ways i had with the game was realising that here was a mass effect game but this wasnt my shepard, this wasnt my crew.. it was insulting.. once i realised that i… Read more »


Not a “slap in the face” but a “spit in the face”.

Branching out a bit with the metaphors I see.

Sleepy Will
Sleepy Will

I always find criticism of writing very interesting. I performed a tiny, meaningless little experiment when the game came out – In response to some of the criticisms of it’s writing, I made like I agreed, and posted up a few quotes to prove my point. Only the quotes I posted were taken from the Bloody Barons questline in the Witcher 3, Keira’s romance line, the heart of stone stuff and a few choice others. Now I know you can pick a million holes inn my methodology, I’m way ahead of you, but, the response was interesting. The writing I… Read more »


The glitches I can live with but it’s the terrible writing and weak missions that finally caused me to uninstall the game. Liam’s loyalty (well all they do is unlock the final rank of upgrades for the characters – you can’t actually fail them) was the deal breaker. Also, IMO it’s a small team of companions so when a couple of them are irritating to the point of not wanting to use them (Liam and Peebee) that’s a factor as well. Also, turning the paragon/renegade system into a bunch of answers that don’t make a damn bit of difference and… Read more »

Arcane Azmadi
Arcane Azmadi

Well, it’s certainly impossible to deny accusations that it was a shameless cash-grab. When you create an original IP structured in the form of an epic trilogy coming to a decisive and conclusive finale (regardless of your opinion of the actual QUALITY of said finale), promptly going “oh and here’s another one” a few years later is literally nothing more than a cash-in. Just wait until FromSoft cave in and make Dark Souls 4. You know it’s gonna happen.


Just because Dragon Age: Inquisition wasn’t bad per sé, doesn’t mean you can’t knock on Andromeda for being the same game. DAI was still a flawed game, and EAWare has been making the same mistakes over and goddamn over. A previous year’s 7/10 game should be this year’s 4/10 game if shit ‘aint fixed.

Sith Holocron
Sith Holocron

Were there no funny (or cringe-inducing) positive reviews?


Always thought Inquisition was a bit rubbish, didn’t realise it was a general perception though, then again, i didn’t look into it after I first played it.

I may give it a second chance once it is deeply discounted in a few years, but based on that Origin first impressions trial that I tried, it is a game I would rather pretend didn’t exist, like Inquisition.


The people rating this game have no idea what they are on about.


It was a little disappointing compared to the trilogy, but people giving it 0-2 out of 10? Come on. I’ve played the originals 2-3 times each, and I’m on my 2nd play through of Andromeda. I’d give it a 6 or 7…. 2 no way anyone can justify a 2. G-rates? Seriously?


I’m sorry, but I think it’s a disservice to compare inquisition to andromeda. Despite DAI’s many faults, it still had good dialogue, good characters, and decent writing, game play and world design were a mess, and yeah, you could see the creative control being drained from the studio, but it still wasn’t a bad game. Andromeda on the other hand…. there aren’t really any redeeming features, it’s just a mess that was too expensive to not make a money grab. We all know EA cuts corners, but this is inexcusable, I hope every person in production of this game becomes… Read more »


I’d been holding off on the game because of the less-than-stellar launch, but the way it’s making Big Alpha Gamer Dudebros lose their minds, maybe it’s time to give it a chance…

April Wolfinger

It always confuses me when people start frothing at the mouth over BW games having ‘SJW/Feminist’ elements. I mean for crying out loud, have these people never played a Mass Effect or Dragon Age game before?

And I loved that one dude who was so offended by their being a trans character and other ‘political’ elements that he declared a one man war against the company and the game. Honestly, I have no idea where these fucking people come from, but I would love to find out.


I enjoyed Andromeda. It’s a good game. Its only failing is that it’s not a GREAT game. People expected a GREAT game from this brand and this dev. That it ain’t. Like I said: I enjoyed it. I got my money’s worth. A year from now I will have forgotten most of it, but that doesn’t make the game “bad”. It’s not. It’s a good game. It’s merely a good game.


I shouldn’t really comment, because I only started it yesterday, but I don’t see issues with animation, dialogue, or the story. I’ve put in 5 hours, and I’m way into the story.

Kyle Pierce
Kyle Pierce

*This comment was deleted, and the account removed. This is left as a place holder for the responding comments.*


What I find actually surprising is how surprised you are with the DA:I comparisons, the first thing I thought after seeing the first ME:A gameplay trailer or what it’s called was: “OH they’re making DA:I in space how great” xD


Ah the hilarity of horribly written user reviews, personally I liked this game, is at as good as the previous ME games? of course not, but it’s far from being completely awful.