Metabombed: Star Wars Battlefront Is A “Festering Heap Of Garbage”

It should come as no surprise that Star Wars Battlefront is the latest game to be METABOMBED by angry user reviewers. While I enjoyed the game quite a bit, the changes made to the Battlefront formula combined with Electronic Arts’ unfortunate DLC model was a guaranteed recipe for boiled piss.

The anger was brewed to perfection before the game was even out, and it didn’t take long for Metacritic’s user reviews to reflect it. This is where I’d say a Star Wars quote to sum up the intro in a cute way, but I can’t think of anything.

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The PlayStation 4 version is holding out with a middling aggregate score of 5.4, boasting 75 positive reviews to 82 negative. Meanwhile, Xbox One users have delivered 55 positive reviews to 81 negative. It should be a shock to nobody that PC players have been the most vocal in their rage, because they’re PC players – there are currently 26 positive reviews and an overwhelming 106 negative ones.

As always, I’ve gone and sampled some of the most flavorful and evocative reviews, because that’s what we do.

Justin_A makes me wonder what they plan to do with a theoretical virtual pig.

DLC. Pay more, get less. Graphics are lipstick on a pig. Actually, a virtual pig with lipstick would probably be more fun. EA destroyed SimCity and The Sims. Is there anything this company does other than release the most superficial garbage facades? (0/10)

Meanwhile, flappynoodle gives us our obligatory use of the word “joke” – a favorite of gaming commenters, as you all know.

Graphics: 10/10
Gameplay: 1/10
Content: 1/10
Overall: 4/10
Graphics are great, phenomenal. Gameplay is a joke, there’s no story to be played, barely any content. Got my refund after playing for 4 hours, and don’t regret it. (4/10)

I must stress, while I enjoyed the game, I can’t argue with a lot of the criticism it’s getting. LSHDS is more or less on point with this one.

This is absolutely pathetic. This released game manages to have less content than the alpha of battlefront 3 that EA canned a few years back, and only a quarter the content that the original battlefront. Maps are repetitive and unbalanced, as well as too small for decent aerial combat due to the limitations of the frostbite engine. $50 for a season pass that doesn’t contain all the dlc is just absurd. The graphics are the best part of this festering heap of garbage, and they’re only adequate, not what you would expect out of supposed “next gen”.
All in all, this is a cheaply made product that attempts to sucker you in through brand recognition alone. (0/10)

Armaril might have grounds to sue Electronic Arts, given the personal injuries detailed here.

It`s not Fallout 4, it`s very very bad game. My eyes would bleed, I broke a finger while looking for the exit button, but the music is very beautiful. And no Wookiee !!!!! Thank you dice that ruined my evening. (1/10)

DRMSUX gives us a heartfelt eulogy for the company that once was DICE.

I’m crying now because I waited a direct sequel to “Battlefront 2” for long ten years and now I get this extremely repetitive mercenary game for me as a fan is abusive pay that price for that content of **** DICE seems that you are not the same that created Battlefield 2142, Battlefield 2. In my opinion DICE died. (0/10)

I mean, I get what PAA1 is saying, but avoiding a repetitive game that lacks innovation by buying an Assassin’s Creed release? You’re making a rod for your own back there.

After reading the reviews, wherein everyone praised the graphics but criticize the overall gameplay and repetitive gameplay with almost no innovation apart from the elements of typical FPS multiplayer like COD or Battlefield; I am glad that i didn’t buy it and opted for AC: Syndicate. (1/10)

Babinski gives us a taste of 2006 with the term “casualisation.” People still say things like that.

They’ve done it, they have actually done it. They managed to f*** it up royally. The casualisation that happened here is so pathetic that makes me want to throw up. It’s an insult to gamer community intelligence. Equipment is now abilities with cooldown, you don’t enter vehicles but rather find a magical token that transports you to them, weapons don’t need to be reloaded, you don’t pick your spawn point, the battlefield is so messy that looks like a laser tag playground. Hell, this game could be played on a tablet in terms of gameplay. The fact that this only supports 48 players when, 10 yeas ago, TEN YEARS AGO there were already support for 64 players is outrageous. I’m not even going to talk about the lack of content because I wold be here the whole day. (0/10)

Eye-searing sarcasm in this run-on sentence by Krefchenko.

Hey yeah very nice great stuff you made a game you shoot things good good so like what else is there dude where is all the content battlefront 2 had oh you just removed everything okay dude cool I’ll just go play battlefront 2 then (1/10)

Can you spot what I found amusing about Viltgance’s review?

This game is an absolute waste of money…..there is no content, and the content that is there sucks. Nothing like the original battlefront games, stay the hell away from this. (0/10)

Among SebbyMak’s simple string of sentence is a criticism that strikes me as unusual – is being friendly to newcomers really a bad thing?

Graphics arent everything.
Missed potential.
Simple and noob friendly.
Expect it to die off after the holiday season.
EA strikes back.
Dissapointed to say the least. (0/10)

Be warned, this next review is one you may find stunningly offensive if you’re not into racism, sexism, or homophobia. Here’s a review from… sigh… BigBoiNiggNogg.

Nigg dis gayme be gay AF doe mayne!!!!! I memba wen i play dat battlefront 2 on mah ps2 an dat **** be fire doe!!!! All da hoes be tryna hop on dis dik cuz I got dat bf2 cuzz!! But **** 3 be dumb af like der aint evn no strry doe like wtf how i gon fuk a fuk a bad btch if der aint no story goin on in da bagkround!!!111 dis gayme musta been made fo **** dat be homoo sex a [email protected]!!!2111 Der no space butthals too like wen i be fukin bad bich i be tryna blast off like i did wit dat yung bf2 doe bu i cant wit dis gayyy azz bf3!!!!! any1 hoo like dis game be gyy azz fucccboiii nigg dat prolly stay suckin his daddysDick!!!!!! wtf dice dis be sum **** **** [email protected]@[email protected][email protected][email protected] (0/10)

GERULA666 is going through some shit, I think.

Total phenomenal pice of garbage. EA stand no more for Electronic Arts, but for Elusive Actions and DICE, who the fok is DICE, do they still creates games ?

P.s: can’t wait to offer this garbage game to my ex girlfriend as a parting gift~ (0/10)

The positive reviews are no less hyperbolic and fascinating. Here’s a perfect score from JonnyDoom.

Don’t believe the Star Wars haters. New Star Wars sucks. SWTOR sucks, Battlefront sucks. Blah Blah Waa Waa Cry Cry a thousand tears……Truth is All the Star Wars movies are GREAT. SWTOR is amazing! New Battlefront is the game I always wanted. I am going to go watch the movies again, I am going to play SWTOR and Battlefront. If you don’t want to do those things that’s fine I don’t want you there anyways. (10/10)

Meanwhile, Wolfmoon2682 is apparently fine with paying through the nose for content.

Amazing star wars game. Amazing graphics and sound. Tight controls and a very unique style of play. People calling this a CoD clone or a BF clone are out of their minds! People leaving 0/10’s on here need to be banned. That’s not a review, it’s trolling! You found NOTHING good about this game at all?

The maps are fun, the modes are fun but they could use some more stuff. That’s why i got the pass. It sucks to pay for DLC but that’s the way it is, BF does the same crap so shut up! So does CoD! People here need to stop complaining about minor bs. Game has been out 1 day and people think they’ve played it enough to drop a 0/10 bomb on it… that’s trolling at it’s finest and it’s why no one takes metacritic reviews seriously.

This game does what i want it to do as a STAR WARS FAN! This is exactly what i expected. SWBF 1 and 2 were great back in the day but i DO NOT need galactic conquest or space battles. I have survival mode and i have air combat battles. What’s the problem!? Who played the originals for the single player botmatch garbage anyways? Take off the nostalgia goggles folks! Those games were extremely casual btw, so stop acting like they were some MLG style game like CS. Game is a solid 8/10 but i’m dropping a 10/10 to combat all these troll idiots. (10/10)

musikman91307 just makes me sad.

Bunch of whiners on here. The maps and worlds are AMAZING and so REALISTIC. The sounds, , music, characters, weapons, everything is on point. No bugs and it runs so damn smooth. Yes they could’ve introduced more out of the original box but we’re getting 5 more expansions and I don’t mind paying extra. On it’s own, the game has blown me away with the gameplay and graphics. I haven’t played any previous Star Wars games and was on Battlefield 4 until now but man they really did a fine job. The only thing missing is a campaign, Darth Maul and more maps and weapons (which will come soon). (9/10)

I’ve included xCarlitos’ review just to boil a little extra piss.

I not understand the hate. this game is awesome.
F*CK PC “GAMERS”. They criticize all.
what is the problem about the “casual” gameplay?…
what is the problem with “no campaign”? if you wish play a story. you have 300 more titles about star wars -.- (10/10)

And finally, here’s Agentbb007. Yes, Agent… we can tell.

Metacritic user reviews… You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
Don’t listen to the negative reviews I’ve already got 13 hours logged and this game is AWESOME! The graphics and textures are TOP NOTCH, graphics don’t get any prettier than this.
The servers are fast to connect, no lag, not a huge delay in-between games, all of the different game modes have players active so you can try all of them out. The Hero’s Luke, Leah, Han, Vader, Boba Fett, and the Emperor look absolutely PERFECT! I can’t get over how beautiful the characters look. Flying around in the x-wing, a-wing, tie fighter, and tie interceptor are great fun to fly.
And I can’t forget to mention the sound, it is absolutely AMAZING! All of the laser blasts sound perfect, the sound when piloting the AT-AT when shooting the gun is crazy epic, all of the hero voices sound perfect. Can you tell I LOVE this game!?!? (10/10)

Wretched hive! Why didn’t I think of that!?!?

Bubble Bass
Guest
Bubble Bass

I like how the guy that said the game caused him physical pain at least gave it a 1/10 as opposed to the others that gave it 0/10.

MrAptronym
Guest
MrAptronym

This game killed my dog and had my house foreclosed. 2/10

PowerSerg
Guest
I’ve been seeing movie reviewers review the game or talk about it too. I normally check out some none game reviewers that review to see kind of what the general buzz about the game is outside of gaming scene and it seems overwhelming negative. It seems like people really do care about single player content that seemed to be a huge downside for people who bought the game. Most people don’t really read press coverage so they wouldn’t have had a way of knowing this was like MAG or something. Like what other game is not having something to do… Read more »
Gregory J. Toma
Guest
Gregory J. Toma
Titanfall didn’t have a solo campaign, and that was a huge downside to that game. But Titanfall itself was a much better game than this POS. If for no other reason, having a solo campaign lets players get familiar with how the game works and how to control your characters properly. Also, not everyone likes to be thrown into a mess of gunfire with no instructions, and no pause function to try to figure shit out. And we don’t all want to play with a bunch of 13 year olds let alone have to listen to them with a headset.
Drkarate
Guest
Drkarate

Can I get the one from “BigBoiNiggNogg” translated into English?

Aiwass
Guest
Aiwass
I expect to be paid in oral sex for doing this. I listen to the ‘hip-hop’. I should be able to get this… “Nigg dis gayme be gay AF doe mayne!!!!!” (Nigga, this game is gay as fuck though man) translates roughly to “My people, this game isn’t good”. “I membawen i play dat battlefront 2 on mah ps2 an dat**** be fire doe!!!!” (I remember when I play that Battlefront 2 on my PS2 and that shit be fire, though) I think translates to ‘I remember playing Battlefront 2 on my PS2 and that game was very good.’ “All… Read more »
Please no
Guest
Please no
“Good day sir, this game I find is a homosexual piece of garbage if I do say so myself. Back in the day as a youth I played the supposed prequel to this game, Starwars Battlefront 2 and I have to admit I rather enjoyed it! As a matter of fact, many members of the opposite sex were drawn to me purely because I owned a copy of it. The more recent version though did not have the same effect, I think this was because there was no single player story mode and of course we all know, women do… Read more »
Please no
Guest
Please no

I would like to state I concur with your hypothesis that “space buttholes” was referencing the space battles. Good job on figuring that one out, I just brushed it off!

Aiwass
Guest
Aiwass

Jesus Christ. That took so long. I genuinely feel sick now.

Jill Sandwich
Guest
Jill Sandwich

BigBoi clearly left a troll comment, & a hilarious one at that.

galactix100
Guest
galactix100

Well… having read ‘that’ review I think that’s it. There’s no coming back from this. I’m out, I’m fucking done. The internet’s won. It’s finally fucking broken me.

Karl Bayreder
Guest
Karl Bayreder
I’m guessing the game basically lives up to my expectations from the open beta. Excellent graphics and sound design (though their anal-retentive attention to detail has inexplicable gaps, like RotJ Luke running around on Hoth instead of his ESB counterpart). The over-emphasis on power-ups is disappointing. I’d rather have classes and secondary weapons, and guns that reload. The most egregious sin of this game is the fact that it supports fewer players and holds substantially less content than a game that came out TEN YEARS ago. And they’re selling $60 worth of content for $110. I can still acknowledge what… Read more »
galactix100
Guest
galactix100

I can’t agree more about the RotJ Luke on Hoth thing. Battlefront 2 managed to get their Lukes right.

Tom Page
Guest
Tom Page

Avast, Sterling! Formatting issue for GERULA666 ‘s review.

I am your guardian angel of formatting. Thank god for you.

Kyolux
Guest
Kyolux

My review: $10/10 because that’s the profit I made selling my sealed copy to a coworker.

no name
Guest
no name

“It should be a shock to nobody that PC players have been the most vocal in their rage, because they’re PC Players”
I bet this would change if console players had a keyboard and could quit the game and go to metacritic in a matter of 5 seconds

galactix100
Guest
galactix100

While you make a good point in this age when everyone has access to a smartphone or a tablet or a laptop it’s fairly easy for everyone to react like this, regardless of platform and method of access.

Tomas Sandven
Guest
Tomas Sandven

I left a disgruntled review on Metacritic, but If I only had a phone or tablet to type on I absolutely wouldn’t have bothered.

galactix100
Guest
galactix100

And that’s how you work but that doesn’t mean that everyone else in the world works in the same way

Tomas Sandven
Guest
Tomas Sandven

Doesn’t mean that they don’t

galactix100
Guest
galactix100

That’s an incredibly childish response which indicates you’ve no substantial counter argument. By the way I’m using my phone to reply.

Tomas Sandven
Guest
Tomas Sandven

Just pointed out the obvious dude, calm down

galactix100
Guest
galactix100

The obvious what?

Even Luck
Guest
Even Luck

“BigboiNiggNogg.” If Jim ever put out a rap album….

Shui Gor
Guest
Shui Gor

Featuring such tracks as “Metabombed”, “Bullshit Roundup”, “There Are No Strings On Me”, “Jimsaw”, “Pogs”, “The Sterlist”, “Digital Suicide”, “The Citizen Kane Of Video Games” and “Microtransactions”, with the exclusive track “#FucKonami”.

VesaLa
Guest
VesaLa
If EA would go and say there’s 50$ season pass there because they just want more money, i would say okay here take my cash you creedy fuckpiss that i can’t respect for being that Scrooge McFuck, but atleast you would be honest that way so yeah. Do not go and say you need to charge extra for content that should be in the game cause ‘this game doesn’t make any profit and its expensive to keep alive’, ITS FUCKING STAR WARS BATTLFRONT game, not Battlfield Earth the videogame. Star Wars is the biggest scifi franchise ever so please just… Read more »
Matthew McConaughey
Guest
Matthew McConaughey

You know, they probably aren’t lying though. I bet you Disney’s got a crazy royalty agreement on the game.

Billy Bissette
Guest
Billy Bissette

If so, then EA should have made a better deal or settled for not having locked up the Star Wars license.

I really doubt it is true, but I honestly cannot deny the possibility simply because that is the kind of financial wizardry that has already caused so much trouble in the AAA gaming industry.

ThEjOkErIsWiLd
Guest
ThEjOkErIsWiLd

Was….. was this supposed to be a parody of the user “reviews” in this article? I can’t fucking tell.

VesaLa
Guest
VesaLa

Oh you decide pal, you can fucking decide.

Craig the War Boy
Guest

Proving that some people are bound and determined to be upset about anything they can.

Tomas Sandven
Guest
Tomas Sandven

^ Proving that some people will defend fucking anything

Edwin Jackson
Guest
Edwin Jackson

Dear Jim

I just emailed BigBoiNiggNogg”s review to the professor of English Language at Oxford University for a translation and the reply I received was quite unexpected. He excitedly told me this was he believed was an actual example of ancient text pre neanderthal if not older and asked if I had any more examples.

Aiwass
Guest
Aiwass

I’d be interested to see that. I just worked on my own ‘quick’ translation of it above. It was grueling but I believe it’s of great importance we understand these texts.

Jill Sandwich
Guest
Jill Sandwich

I thought it was pretty easy to translate, since I’m near fluent in Trollinese.

Jonny
Guest
Jonny

How come you’ve jumped on the US English bandwagon? ‘Favourite’ for life

Jim Sterling
Guest

“How come you’ve jumped on the US English bandwagon?”

Welcome to the past TEN YEARS of my writing.

Jonny
Guest
Jonny

Just an honest question and you’ve replied with some witty remark, cheers. I watch your stuff more than I read it.

Cheesy12
Guest
Cheesy12

Well if you didn’t know, he lives in the United States.

Jonny
Guest
Jonny

I know. Wasn’t taught English there though

Wraithy2773
Guest
Wraithy2773

“Be warned, this next review is one you may find stunningly offensive if you’re not into racism, sexism, or homophobia.”

I’m not into any of those, to be certain, but I think the most offensive thing about that comment was how it was torturing the English language…

Aiwass
Guest
Aiwass

I translated it. I feel sick and angry.

Jill Sandwich
Guest
Jill Sandwich

It was a fake comment posted for the lulz. I’d actually get a kick out of reading his Amazon product reviews, if he’d make any.

Tomas Sandven
Guest
Tomas Sandven

That was English?!

LK_Marleigh
Guest
LK_Marleigh

love that the guy who hasn’t even played it gave it 1/10, maybe i should review it as i’ve never played it too.

SilentPony
Guest
SilentPony

Seriously Jim! New series of videos where you read these out loud over gameplay footage!

Get Lara and Gavin to read a few!

LK_Marleigh
Guest
LK_Marleigh

Reminds me of Dave Gormans ‘Modern Life is Good(ish) where he reads out internet comments as a found poem. I’m sure Jim could make that work. i’d watch it

Will Fitzpatrick
Guest
Will Fitzpatrick

We need Jim to do his own version for metabombed games. It would be hilarious.

BAH!
Guest
BAH!

I read BigBoiNiggNogg’s comment out lout to myself in the absolutely most stereotypical voice I could muster. And it was awesome.

Benj
Guest
Benj

I think it needs to be in the style of a dramatic reading with a posh voice and mellow orchestral classical music in the background. Possibly with a few sound effects of a clinking brandy glass and a wood-burning fireplace in the background.

SilentPony
Guest
SilentPony

Man, that’d be great!
Fireside metabombs, with our narrator Jim fucking Sterling son.

ghettojack
Guest
ghettojack

This needs to happen jim please. out of all the random comment ideas, metabombed becoming a video series needs to be the one that becomes reality. PLSSSS

Nobody's Fanboy
Guest
Nobody's Fanboy
I know there’s an “Empire strikes bAck” joke in there somewhere, but I’m not finding one I’m happy with. Give it 2-3 more years, and metacritic won’t have any credibility whatsoever. This hyperbolic nonsense where a highly-anticipated title is literal projectile baby vomit or a sycophant’s wet dream isn’t doing anyone any good. Guess what, fanboys and trolls: Something you don’t like can get something right. Something you do like can get something wrong. Criticism of or praise for that thing is not a personal attack on you. Personally, I’m a bit disappointed. It’s a wonderful Star Wars-themed reskin of… Read more »
Nitrium Oxide
Guest
Nitrium Oxide

Bethesda (i.e. Fallout 3 and 4 which are anything but true to the franchise) begs to differ.

Nobody's Fanboy
Guest
Nobody's Fanboy

That’s another one that proves my point nicely. Fallout 3 had a lot of outrage surrounding it for being “Oblivion with guns” instead of a “proper fallout game”, and 4’s catching a lot of flak for straying from the series’ roots as well vis-a-vis taking the Mass Effect approach to the roleplaying aspects.

Nitrium Oxide
Guest
Nitrium Oxide

All true, but it “did not blow up their face”, did it? In fact, they created a far larger and more successful franchise from the ashes of the old one. Invoking the Fallout label (i.e. name recognition) turned out very nicely indeed for Bethesda,

Tomas Sandven
Guest
Tomas Sandven

It doesn’t really blow up in their face, though. They are making boatloads of cash on this game that they might not have made if it was called “Battle Field: Star Wars” or something like that, and they’ll make boatloads the next time they do it.

I can only surmise that most people enjoy getting urinated on by EA.

Santa
Guest
Santa

I will say I do not support the game, because of EA’s history. Its fun, but not going to support someone like them that are going to milk fans dry

Daryl Corey
Guest
Daryl Corey

I got it for my birthday and have been really enjoying it. I will probably get the season pass since I do want all the DLC just wish there had been more maps at launch. This is the second FPS I have loved first being Halo Reach. Also I just really love the impact grenades

Fortyseven
Guest

Take this kind of informed, well-thought out public discourse, and then think about political elections, where every one of them gets an equal vote.

The future looks bright, gang. 😐

GDubya
Guest

RE: the intro quote

“EA have altered the deal, pray they do not alter it any further…”

Something “witty” here
Guest
Something “witty” here

To put it straight a game that without the Star Wars is average but with the Star Wars above average…

can they not just agree that Star Wars is great and the money grubbing hive mind of EA is not?

is it too much to ask from these morons on both sides.

BAH!
Guest
BAH!

Yes.

Shui Gor
Guest
Shui Gor

I wonder who we have to blame for allowing EA acquiring the Star Wars license?

Hoplite
Guest
Hoplite

Disney. since they licensed it to them.

Santa
Guest
Santa

The funny thing is Lucas Arts was working on 3 but…disney

jomb234
Guest
jomb234

maybe Disney is afraid that if a company like EA falls, it could mean they could fall, so they’re doing what they can to get EA money to prevent an omen of imminent collapse.

Shui Gor
Guest
Shui Gor

Hmm….I wonder about that: EA supposedly “bleeding money” seems likely, but why couldn’t Disney have foot the bill for Battlefront? It’s not like they’re the ones bleeding more money, especially when you think long-term regarding Phase 3 of the MCU and the projected $1 billion at the box office for The Force Awakens.

….or did Disney already foot parts of the Battlefront bill already?

Sperium3000
Guest
Sperium3000

SO REALISTIC THESE WORLDS AND THESE MAPS, I CAN ALMOST SMELL DARTH VADER’S DICK IT’S SO REALIST AND EMOTIONAL EMOTIONS EMOTIONS EMOTIONS

JmaNu
Guest
JmaNu

Spoiler Alert: Darth Vader is Luke’s dad, and his dick was chopped off by the Emperor

Something “witty” here
Guest
Something “witty” here

Well yeah…

But he had it replaced with a robotic one

Landusk79
Guest
Landusk79

Don’t you love it when Media try to destory a good game? only jim speak truth.

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