You may have heard disturbing reports and written them off as hysteria and scaremongering. In fact, your concerns may have been alleviated by the so-called “officials” telling us to keep calm and carry on. Make no mistake, however – AMIIBOGEDDON is here, and we’re all going to suffer.
According to reports, Nintendo’s amiibo figures are growing scarce to the point of near-extinction. It’s already becoming next to impossible to secure the Wii Fit Trainer, Villager, or Marth figures, and the latest stories suggest no more are being made. These amiibo shortages are quite possibly going to lead us into another Great Depression, and neither Nintendo nor the government are doing anything to help. We’re on our own, people! We’ve been abandoned by our overseers, and ignored by our false gods. We’re in the middle of an apocaliipse, and all we can do now is try to survive. We really are The Last of Us.
Now is not the time to panic, however. Grab the amiibo you have, secure yourself, and prepare for the coldest winter of your God damn lives. Follow my tips for surviving AMIIBOGEDDON, and please… for the very sake of humanity… keep yourself alive.