The Jimquisition: The Molyneux Cycle

Making this week’s episode didn’t exactly feel good. I don’t like singling out individuals in general, especially these days, but the current narrative being erected around Peter Molyneux is just… skewed.

Hopefully, this helps contextualize exactly why people are so frustrated with the man and his promises, and why folks aren’t just arbitrarily pillorying him over one failed Kickstarter. The man’s got 20 years of cyclical chicanery to face.

How To Transfer Data From Your 3DS To The New 3DS XL

So, you’ve gotten yourself a shiny New 3DS XL and you’re excited to get started, but you want to make sure all your old downloads are intact. What to do? Well, Nintendo itself has said the New 3DS XL was designed for previous 3DS owners to upgrade to, which is why it shipped without an AC adapter – so transferring your data from an old system to the new one should be quick, clean, and efficient, right? I mean, it was designed with transfers in mind, surely.

You damn right it was!

Moving data from one system to the other is as easy as 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6… 16! It’s intuitive and user-friendly, just like a family system should be, and by following a couple of simple steps, you’ll be playing Majora’s Mask Ultimate 4 in no time. Of course, Nintendo knows that a lot of you are stupid, and so it’s provided a comprehensive guide regardless, just to make sure that you dunces get it right. Just kidding, you’re not dumb. You’re all very gifted!

Let’s see how we move Gunman Clive from our shitty old 3DS to our beautiful new one, shall we?

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Podquisition Episode 12: The Buckfast Problem

On this week’s episode, we get a few rounds of attacking Ubisoft in before Gav shows up, and Laura tortures herself with the vicious taste of Buckfast. We also discuss The Many Lies of Peter Molyneux, and chat more about Evolve, because of course we do.

Elsewhere, there’s excitement for Bethesda’s E3 conference, and we discuss all the ways in which Netflix could make its Legend of Zelda TV series absolutely awful!

Metabombed: Evolve Is ‘A Joke And A Total Scam’

The Jimquisition doesn’t regurgitate press releases for third-party controllers or run stories about every little thing that falls out of Jon Blow’s mouth, so please accept my apologies if the site’s looking like the Evolve show lately – I just don’t produce all the filler that would break such posts up, so if I’ve got a big game with plenty of material to write about, you may see a review stacked atop a livestream stacked atop an editorial. Anyway, what I basically mean to say is that I’m going to talk about Evolve some more… or rather, I’m going to let THE PEOPLE talk about it! It’s time to see how Turtle Rock Shooters’ multiplayer extravaganza got Metabombed in a new feature I like to call Metabombed.

Back when I wrote for Destructoid, I posted semi-regular features collecting Metacritic user reviews for popular releases. Sometimes, a big game proves controversial for some reason, and gamers resort to dogpiling Metacritic’s public review system to prove a point, leading to pointed criticism or hilarious meltdowns. With Evolve proving to be one of the more polarizing new games in a while (seriously, its Steam community is a warzone!), you can be sure that Metacritic’s user reviews aren’t a pretty place to be right now. 2k Games did little to earn goodwill with its decision to promote Evolve almost entirely on the basis of downloadable content, and the stage has thus been set for customers to air some dirty laundry – and boy is it dirty!

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Jimquisition Livestream: Evolve

An Evolve review is in the works, but here are some first Jimpressions in the meantime. Recorded live this morning, I go through some Hunter gameplay, then get my arse royally handed to me as a Goliath.

The game is… decent. Several hours in, I’m enjoying it, but I am already feeling somewhat tired of the whole thing, as nothing ever seems to change or – dare I say it – evolve. Haha. What a great bit of wordplay.

Anyway, here’s a video!

The Jimquisition: How Hyrule Warriors Does DLC Right

Downloadable content can be a great thing, when done right. Most “AAA” publishers don’t do it right. Hyrule Warriors, on the other hand, shows exactly how you can support a game in a way that respects audience investment, enhances the gameplay experience, AND makes the publisher money.

It’s a shame Nintendo is so rubbish at YouTube, because it’s been nailing stuff like this lately.

Jimquisition Livestream: Raven’s Cry

Equal parts hilarious and depressing, Raven’s Cry sees Topware reproducing the amazing awfulness of Two Worlds for a new generation. It’s laughable, and saddening, and the script/acting makes it seem like it was originally a porno.

Join Cap’n Christopher Raven as he abuses and uses women, stabs men in the hand for no reason, forgets how to make sounds with his mouth, and fails at his one basic job – being a pirate. He’s the hero we all wish we could be.