The Jimquisition: The Witcher 3 x Splatoon – Real Games-As-A-Service

If you’ve followed this industry’s buzzword-infused gibberish for a while, you’ll like have heard of the term, “Games-as-a-service.” It’s about turning games from one-time purchases into ongoing experiences, usually with an injection of microtransactions or DLC.

It’s also totally dishonest, justifying all manner of shoddy business practices, broken launches, and con jobs.

Recently, two games came out that represent the ideal of the “service” a lot more than any product to have actively claimed the term. Let’s examine what they do, and why they humiliate the industry! Oh my Gods!

Special Podcast: Jim Sterling And Digital Homicide Hash It Out

The immovable force meets the store-bought object, as Jim Sterling and Digital Homicide face off. The studio, having finally had enough of my antics, demanded an interview and yelled at me about my cowardice. My audience demanded I rise to the occasion, and rise I did.

Listen as Digital Homicide talks over me, attempts to use mad scientist tropes to prove I’m a bad person, tries to invent a conspiracy theory about me, and claims there’s no difference between The Jimquisition and The Slaughtering Grounds.

Well… it’s something to listen to, I suppose.

The Jimquisition: Arkham Shite

Batman: Arkham Knight’s shameful PC tale is one for the history books. A chaotic mess of controversy with some unprecedented situations, it’s a masterclass in how exactly NOT to treat a PC version of a major game release.

It’s a meaty story, and one worth recording. Let’s pull apart the tangled web, and look at what happened. Thank God for Steam refunds, right?

Podquisition Episode 31: Fuck The Batmobile

On this week’s bat-episode, we talk about how utterly horrible the Batmobile is in Batman: Arkham Knight. We also
natter about the shoddy PC port, which hadn’t been pulled from Steam when we’d recorded.

There’s plenty of other chat too. We talk about Her Story for a bit, Laura eats horrific chocolate, and there is much shagging in Fallout Shelter to discuss.

Also, the Batmobile is the worst.

You can listen/download directly here and get the RSS feed here.

Also, check out Laura Kate’s Patreon page!

Also also, check out Miracle of Sound’s channel!

Metabombed: Batman: Arkham Knight Is ‘A Travesty And Insult To PC Gamers’

Batman: Arkham Knight released today for PlayStation 4, Xbox One, and PC. Early reviews have doused it in critical acclaim, and from my own review-in-progress it’s a beautifully put together experience. There’s just one problem – the PC version runs like a bag of dead penises floating in a river of bubbling pus.

Capped at 30 frames-per-second (unless you edit the game files), suffering sound drops and visual stuttering, Arkham Knight is seeing reported problems on all manner of systems, no matter the specifications. Rocksteady itself has tried to answer concerns, but the reaction from PC users has been understandably angry. What else is there to do but METABOMB one’s way to justice?

Metacritic user reviews for the PC version stand at an average score of 1.6/10, with an overwhelming 419 negative reviews versus 65 positive. As always, I’ve selected the choicest reviews from furious amateur critics, from the righteous to the ridiculous. Enjoy!

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