Podquisition Episode 111: There’s No Audience In Animal Penis Discussion

Is there an audience for animal penis talk? We find out as the hard questions get asked!

In a reflective episode, the crew talk about 2016, looking back on the games they liked and naming the podcast’s collective ultimate game of the year!

Also, playing games with vaginal clenching. What a laugh!

You can listen/download directly here and get the RSS feed here.

Also, check out Laura Kate’s Patreon page!

Also also, check out Miracle of Sound’s channel!

Sen Khvorov
Guest
Sen Khvorov

“… 30 minutes of him and two others talking about what animal penis they’d like to be fucked with.”

I wish.

Video game talk is just so boring to me.

Jerry
Guest
Jerry

Go listen to Fistshark then lol. Someone has to.

Sen Khvorov
Guest
Sen Khvorov

Fistshark is great but they make like 20 minutes of it once every full moon. So I want my non-videogame talk wherever I can get it.

Jack Trevor
Guest
Jack Trevor

Just remember: those who think life is shit will get exactly what they deserve. Nothing but shit.

I find the best way to deal with life is know that you can’t always dodge the shit thrown at you but you can clean it off and remember when to duck.

Imp Emissary
Guest
Imp Emissary

Laura. I’m surprised at you.

Obviously time travel makes you gay to prevent the time paradox of you becoming your own grandparent. ;D

Best of luck to you all in 2017!

Oliver Mendes
Guest
Oliver Mendes

Animal penises… Laura’s vaginas? Laura’s fancy new animal vaginas!? 😮

Wolfie
Guest
Wolfie

Duck vagina!

Grimner
Guest
Grimner
I struggle to see how Nier Automata has ANYTHING to do with Dark Souls. At all. light/heavy attacks, R2 dodge, no blocking, no stamina management, emphasis on fast paced action over methodical approach… I’m actually describing Bayonetta or DMC, with which the nier Demo shares a LOT of its DNA. Which makes sense, being a Platinum title. The demo played very well, but it truly baffles me how 2 critics speak about it as having anything at all to do with Souls. Only thing in common is Nier kinda sounds like Nioh and Nioh is indeed very souls inspired. But… Read more »
Imperial soul
Guest
Imperial soul

Perfectly agree Nier is closer to Bayonetta and a much better game just from the demo its willing to experiment where dark souls is to afraid of the fanboys to change .
As things like an easy mode or the ability to block invasions without going offline was shouted down for the fear the game would not hold up any more.
I was so impressed with Nier it’s will interesting to see the full game.

Terriosaurus Hex
Guest
Terriosaurus Hex
The point about focusing on a year for a popular string of negativity being a wee bit unhealthy is something I wholeheartedly agree with and have been thinking for some while now. For all the people that perpetuate it jokingly, there are inevitably going to be more superstitious people taking it a little more seriously, even if on a subconscious level. Because it is in the same vein as superstition, I guess in a more disposable way, considering there is no avoiding or repeating years; merely a collective apathetic passive endurance as the cosmic fabric drapes through our forever changing… Read more »
SilentPony
Guest
SilentPony

Aww, I forgive you for talking about Dark Souls this time. At least it wasn’t about the Dark Souls porn parody.

Also fucking Dark Souls?! AGAIN?!

David Sayers
Guest
David Sayers

I’m not a lesbian on multiple levels, but I’ll ship Tracer with all the ladies for no other reason than there’s NOTHING sexier than knowing that what you’re doing is, somewhere, making Gamergate furious.

SilentPony
Guest
SilentPony

Uh, last time I checked GamerGate didn’t start because of Tracer liking shellfish.

David Sayers
Guest
David Sayers

Well, if you wanna double check about how it had totally nothing to do with anyone being angry about a woman’s sex drive, I’m gonna be here rendering, in glistening detail, this image of D.Va savouring the copious love-nectar dripping from between Mei’s smooth, flushed thighs. I assume that’s okay with you?

That’s right kitty-kat… you get the cream tonight…

Wolfie
Guest
Wolfie

No, but what they’re going for is the whole “SJW” angle.

SilentPony
Guest
SilentPony

Yeah but Josh McIntosh and Anita came out very strongly against Tracer, saying it was terrible she was a lesbian and how disrespectful it was.
And if those two are anti-SJW, Pro-GG then damn did I not understand what was going on back then.

Imperial soul
Guest
Imperial soul

I think the best thing about Tracer being a lesbian is no one knew .
She a trope but her sexuality is not .
But it also goes against the game as for as characterful as the game is we barely know anything about the characters in it and this proved it .

Wolfie
Guest
Wolfie

Fucking christ, how is it disrespectful? Let me guess, “IT’S TOKENISM!!”

GMBigKev
Guest
From what I read – they were annoyed because she’s a “safe” lesbian character, since she’s an attractive character. They’re annoyed cause lesbians are always hot and intended for the male gaze. They argue she’s LGBT for the sake of adding in a pretty lesbian for men to be excited about. I can see where they’re coming from, but at the same time – no human character in Overwatch is unattractive, and Blizzard stated well ahead of time there are multiple LGBT characters in the game. I don’t know how they could be happy, though. (I’m hanging my hat on… Read more »
Sequoiasaur
Guest
Sequoiasaur

So would the Dark Souls experience would best be described as “You get knocked down, you get up again, You’re never going to keep me down”?

MediumDave
Guest
MediumDave

Only if you can mod the health potions as whiskey drink, vodka drink, lager drink, and cider drink, you magnificent bastard.

Sequoiasaur
Guest
Sequoiasaur

Never been called that before.
Not sure if I should be proud, or insulted…

gasmaskangel
Guest
gasmaskangel

Yes. Yes it would.

gasmaskangel
Guest
gasmaskangel
The Souls games have always appealed to me as a really amazing power fantasy. Yes, you get stomped into the ground, you will, with a bit of tenacity, rise up again and again till you finally rip that one bullshit boss to pieces, and you take a lovely stroll through areas that were a death trap hours ago while nimbly dancing around every trick and trap and foe the game can throw at you. Dark Souls as a series is something which leaves you feeling like an unconquerable badass at the end, a feeling which a lot of games aim… Read more »
diamond
Guest
diamond

I disagree, I personally thought Borderlands 2 did a really good job of making me feel like a total badass.

gasmaskangel
Guest
gasmaskangel
See, for me the game came off as trying way, way to hard in terms of the writing. Every character keeps going on and on about how badass everything is, and they’re all so aware of action tropes that it kinda removes any sense of coolness that is actually on the player’s part from the equation. Borderlands feels to me like riding a theme park ride where a bunch of characters talk at the player with no room for dissent at all, no sense of discovery or even real empowerment. Its still a fun ride, don’t get me wrong, but… Read more »
diamond
Guest
diamond

Not for me it didn’t, I don’t think talking about it removed any sense of “Coolness” at all, I felt like there was plenty of discovery and empowerment from the sheer amount of different and unique guns you could find.

I didn’t find the writing obnoxious at all, I find it really clever and hilarious.

gasmaskangel
Guest
gasmaskangel

Also just to throw my two cents in, here are my top ten games of 2016:

10. Dragonball Xenoverse 2- (The game itself is as deeply flawed as the first one but I cannot deny the joy I felt in making a DBZ OC that was the strongest 5ever.)
9. Shantae: Half Genie Hero
8. Tyranny
7. Superhot
6. Titanfall 2
5. Inside
4. Civilization VI
3. Stellaris (for letting me live out all my Dune fanfiction)
2. Dark Souls III
1. Doom

Honorable mentions go to Shadow Warrior 2, Darkest Dungeon and Far Cry Primal.

CaitSeith
Guest
CaitSeith

I genuinely want to know which other animal penises terrify Gavin.

diamond
Guest
diamond

I think Jim and the others got the inspiration from this: https://www(DOT)youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=v0aLWsFaozI

drownedsummer
Guest
drownedsummer

Turtles?

CaitSeith
Guest
CaitSeith

Other than those.

Wolfie
Guest
Wolfie

Ducks. Always have to go with ducks.

Edit: And according to my sister, any marsupial. It’s not weird. She has a zoology degree.

Uzuki
Guest
Uzuki

Seriously, Corkscrew penises can go to hell. Seriously was God getting high on helium with the Hindu Pantheon and just said “Lol, hey Shiva, I’m gonna give this duck a penis that can pierce a vagina without the female’s consent. Lol, that shit is gonna be HILARIOUS.”

The chick duck said no dude duck: GO FUCK YOURSELF.

Leah
Guest
Leah

I thought your ‘Top 10s’ were all really interesting and your preferences said a lot about you. Here are mine, in order.

10. Civilisation VI
9. Superhot
8. Rise of the Tomb Raider
7. Grow Up
6. Overwatch
5. Firewatch
4. Uncharted 4
3. Blood and Wine
2. Deus Ex: Mankind Divided
1. Dishonoured 2

Also: Ratchet and Clank probably would have gotten a place, because I’m a long time fan and have heard good things, but I haven’t been able to play it yet.

For 2017, I’m looking forward to South Park, Mass Effect Andromeda, Horizon Zero Dawn, Cuphead, and possibly Red Dead Redemption 2.

Neto
Guest
Neto

2016 was one of the worst years of my life, for purely personal reasons. So I’m kinda looking forward to 2017. Might be a good time to start over and try to improve things!

Also, I’m all up for more games about time-travelling lesbians! And more animal cock discussions! Hell yeah!

Dream gazer
Guest
Dream gazer
Dark Souls 2: I’ve been watching the Extra Credits LP of the game lately, which was recorded through this year, and the game is still super busy with bloodstains and other players everywhere. It might be weakest in terms of lore and worldbuilding, but mechanically it’s still a very solid game. Dark Souls 3 and hope (spoilers): Dark Souls 3 has a complex relationship with hope. On the surface, the game is hopeless. The world is hopeless. Mechanically, it is hopeless. But you succeed, bit by bit; and there is hope. Each new victory claws you closer to victory. You… Read more »
Appretaur
Guest
Appretaur

Looking forward to the first of many 2017 installments of Jimmy Jizzbear’s Jimquisition.

BrentD15
Guest
BrentD15

Don’t ask what 2017 can do for you.
Ask what you can do for 2017.

diamond
Guest
diamond

I agree with Gavin, I find it very irritating when people get all smug and condescending over the types of films and TV shows that I actually find funny. Lots of people seem to forget that comedy is totally subjective, so what if I find a show like Brickleberry or a movie like Bucky Larson funny? That does not make me an idiot.

My favorite games of the year in no particular order:

Watch Dogs 2
Dead Rising 4
Titanfall 2
Doom
Quantum Break
Mafia 3
Mirror’s Edge Catalyst
Homefront Revolution
The Division
Battleborn
Infinite Warfare
Re-Core
Technomancer
Gears 4
Deus Ex Mankind Divided

For top DLC I would go with Dying Light: The Following.

drownedsummer
Guest
drownedsummer

Nice seeing the longer post again.

diamond
Guest
diamond

Consider it part of my New Year’s resolution.

Lies That Bind
Guest
Lies That Bind

Pretty big of him to take some critical advice (even if he threw a fit getting there.)
Props to you diamond.

Imperial soul
Guest
Imperial soul

Just darkest dungeon,uncharted 4 and nights of azure for me .

diamond
Guest
diamond

Oh yeah Uncharted 4 is also a favorite for me(as is Ratchet and Clank), forgot to put that one on the list.

Imperial soul
Guest
Imperial soul

I forgot ratchet and clank too.

Nitrium
Guest
Nitrium

That’s a lot of games! May I ask which games, other than Primal, that you played that DIDN’T make your favourites list?

diamond
Guest
diamond
Metroid Prime Federation Force(easily my #1 shittiest game of the year, I agree with Yahtzee on it 100%. I have a feeling it might’ve made Jim’s list too if he’d played it, I sent a copy of that game to his PO Box as a late Christmas present, i’m eager to see his thoughts on it) Star Fox Zero(did not hate it as much as Jim, but he’s right about the controls being shit and unnecessary) Superhot(I agree with Yahtzee about that game not being nearly as clever as it thinks it is, also way too short for it’s price… Read more »
George
Guest
George

My Shittiest game of the year was Bravely Second…lol

Mechanically it was a vast improvement with all previous concerns addressed and I wanted to like it. I really did, but the plot to me was just soooooooo boring.

Leah
Guest
Leah

Yes! Finally Ratchet and Clank gets some appreciation! It seems like that series has always been overlooked, despite having a huge amount of creativity, comedy, excellent gameplay, and a surprisingly good story.

diamond
Guest
diamond

The Ratchet and Clank movie was also pretty good, it definitely made up for the godawful Angry Birds film, which is definitely a contender for worst film of the year for me(and the Assassins’s Creed film, which by most accounts is hot garbage, Angry Joe’s review convinced me to stay FAR away from it)

I was happy to see that series make a comeback, I hope Crash Bandicoot can do the same next year if the remastered trilogy is a success, having Naughty Dog work on another Crash game after all these years would be a dream come true.

Joe Govreau
Guest
Joe Govreau

Thanks for addressing the shipping issue with the pins! So cool to know about the shirts coming with one though! That makes the shipping way more worth it.

George
Guest
George

Happy New year everyone!!!

<3

Rick S
Guest
Rick S

“Animal Penis Discussion” is usually reserved for young horny furries and specialty sex toy makers.

drownedsummer
Guest
drownedsummer

And any podcast which features Jim, Laura & Gavin. Especially Jim.

SilentPony
Guest
SilentPony

Remember the days when the lion’s share of the podcast was video games, not lion cocks and how giggly giggle-able cocks are?
Seems like the last few months we’ve swung more into obscure sexual fetish/jokes and way WAY less into the whole video games bit.

diamond
Guest
diamond

It’s not quite as extreme as episode 39, which was literally nothing but sex jokes and no talk about video games whatsoever, it’s my least favorite PQ episode for that reason.

drownedsummer
Guest
drownedsummer

Fairly sure it’s always been along these lines. In comparison to podtoid it is exceptionally toned down but there has always been some content along those lines in episodes..The Lorne Lanning episode was an amusing one for that. It starts out with it being let’s just say a bit more mature than normal because of who they have on and then by the end of it Lorne’s making jokes about dead prostitutes.

George
Guest
George

Well these are the slowest months of the year regarding news. Personally I like these kinds of episodes. I think they’re funny.

SilentPony
Guest
SilentPony

Ehh…just because there’s not news doesn’t mean there are no conversations. I’d much rather hear Jim ask Gavin, “So G, Deus Ex Mankind whatever was your #2 of the year. What do you think it could have done to earn that #1 spot?” or
“Overwatch made it in at #10. What saved if from being #11, not worth mentioning?”

Instead its just “Games exist. Monkey Jizz and Asari vagina lips.” and it feels like a waste of the three of them as, if not experts, then at least experience connoisseur of gaming.

diamond
Guest
diamond

That’s the issue I had with episode 39, I felt that episode was a complete waste of Max Scoville, as he never really got to talk about games, hope he comes back on PQ and actually gets to do something other then respond to Jim’s sex jokes.

George
Guest
George

That’s fair There are times when I would like a bit more of a dive deep into criticism.

But the laughs keep me coming back. There’s nothing quite like kneading sourdough bread while learning about the things that have not gone up Jim’s ass (the purple dildo sword).

Oliver Mendes
Guest
Oliver Mendes

Plenty of old horny furries too. And veternarians 😛

drownedsummer
Guest
drownedsummer

I feel this person on Neogaf has never listened to Podtoid which after Max & Tara left was about seventy episodes of Jim discussing his sexual desire for Jonathan Holmes.

Wolfie
Guest
Wolfie

What about Tolfdir? With his taut wrinkly skin pulled over that sculpted, experienced bottom.

BAH!
Guest
BAH!

Ok, I have a morbid curiosity about the background picture. I’ve got a pretty good idea of what it is, and even where it’s from, but…it looks wrong? Like it’s a combination of two things?

And yes, this year has been noticeably worse in a number of ways than previous years. Or, at the very least, the badness we generally live with was made far less easy to ignore or be ignorant of.

diamond
Guest
diamond

I dunno, i’ve been hearing people say “201x is the worst year evah!” for the past six years, so at this point that phrase has lost all meaning for me.

drownedsummer
Guest
drownedsummer

I’m rather suspecting collectively as a species we’ve probably been hearing that since we started recording the passage of time in some context. It isn’t unique to this decade.

Nitrium
Guest
Nitrium

It’s based on a dog penis dildo, isn’t it? I just googled that as an image search, and you can’t unsee the search results.

BAH!
Guest
BAH!

No, it’s pretty clearly fantasy-type stuff. You know, dragons and all that.

SilentPony
Guest
SilentPony
Okay so I’ve been looking at this Frog Fractions 2 kickstarter, and…is this thing a scam? I’m reading the FAQ and the guy says he won’t refund any indie purchases that don’t have FF2, and that you just need to keep playing games to find it. And that was posted March, 2014. Glittermitten Grove was released 16 days ago. It hasn’t been hidden for years, it was never released! People found FF2 in less than 3 weeks of it actually being released, but for 2 years people were buying random games, hoping to find FF2, when there’s a good chance… Read more »
drownedsummer
Guest
drownedsummer

The Twinbeard Kickstarter? It is by the same person who created Frog Fractions and is in the spirit of that game. You’re funding a mystery project which will be secretly released and will require people to investigate to find it. But I can see why that would inspire caution as there isn’t any transparency in terms of what you are funding.

SilentPony
Guest
SilentPony
See I can deal with a little murkiness in terms of the project, what I don’t like is the lack of schedule or release date. Its just “There will be a game, someday.” And for years people were all “Oh, is this it?!” And the dev was all “No, keep looking teehee.” while knowing the game won’t be released for 15 more months. Like no where on the Kickstarter does it say “Stop looking, the game doesn’t come out until Dec 2016.” Its just years of updates about features, and screenshots and the like, without ever saying “Its not released… Read more »
drownedsummer
Guest
drownedsummer

They could have given a release window but with something like this they couldn’t give anything too definite without revealing too much.

Terriosaurus Hex
Guest
Terriosaurus Hex

Development takes time, especially deep games withing other games. Has any kick-started game taken two weeks to develop before?

SilentPony
Guest
SilentPony

I’m not saying they took too long, I’m saying its a little shitty they never announced when it’d be done and just let gamers go on wild goose chases to find something they, the Devs, knew they never would.
And all they needed to do was say the game launches sometime between December 1, 2016 and January 30th, 2017. That’s enough of a window that the game won’t be found immediately, and clear enough so gamers won’t be buying shit games in March of 2015 looking for FF2.

Dave Dogge
Guest
Dave Dogge

This podcast is like a refuge/cafe for the Beatnik generation of video gamers, it makes me want to write poetry. But how can we sanely live in a world without Prince, Bowie or Michael Jackson, ponder this on the tree of Woe.

SilentPony
Guest
SilentPony

You’re a little dank there, Jim. Little too much on that Adam Copeland impression.
Yeah, 2016 sucked and people died, but people die all the time, everyone is getting old, everything is terrible, and just you wait, 2017 will be even worse!

Like jeez, is this a gaming podcast or Tales from the Goth Club’s Thursday Night Poetry Wake?

diamond
Guest
diamond

I don’t know if it will necessarily be worse.

Jerry
Guest
Jerry

It will. People hate 2016 cos of Trump and Brexit. Trump isn’t even in yet and the UK isn’t even out yet.

diamond
Guest
diamond

You’re not psychic, you don’t know that for a fact.

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