The Jimquisition: A Bitter Post-Mortem Of Modern Warfare Remastercarded

New Jimquisition, Old Grudges.

It’s time for another of our grisly post-mortems, as we pick up the rusted scalpel and cut open Modern Warfare Remastered.

Here’s how Activision turned one of the most influential shooters of all time into the worst game of last year.

Bonus Content: Oh, Ubisoft!

The Bullshit Roundup: Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare Remastered Just Got Microtransactions

Usually the Bullshit Roundup consists of several stories of industry sleaze culled from recent headlines, but today we’re focusing on just one. Activision’s little stunt with Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare Remastered deserves a spotlight all its own, because it may be the single biggest liberty taken with fee-to-pay gaming.

The rerelease of Modern Warfare was updated recently to include microtransactions, setting a new garbage precedent in post-sale money-grubbing.

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Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare‘s Installations Are Fucking Ridiculous

The above unimpressive image was taken from Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare‘s campaign installation screen in the middle of the night. Despite having downloaded the game on PlayStation 4 some nine or ten hours beforehand, the single-player mode had not yet even begun to “install.”

In fact, nothing was actually ready after the game had allegedly downloaded, in a manner very similar to Mafia III.

You may believe this article is a retread of a grievances aired only a few weeks ago, and for the most part you’d be correct.

I’ll stop complaining about it when the videogame industry stops fucking doing it.

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The Jimquisition: Game Industry Executives Are Fucking Idiots
Buy March of the Sterling Jester by Carl Catron –

Battlefield 1 has turned a lot of heads. Its announcement video is the most liked trailer on YouTube. Hell, even I’M interested in it.

Electronic Arts executives, however, didn’t want it to happen, which is sadly true of a lot of executives in this industry. People who know nothing, yet are paid to control everything.

They’re idiots, and we’ll never know what potential future successes they killed in the womb.

The MEDIOCRE Awards 2015

As 2015 draws to a close, we often celebrate the games that most entertained and touched our lives in the past twelve months. We also can’t help but reflect upon the worst of the worst, the total garbage that infected our year with interactive poison. The Jimquisition Awards gave us five of this year’s best, and the next Jimquisition will skewer the worst.

What about those left in the middle? The letdowns, the grinds, the games that just weren’t remarkable enough to capture our imagination?

The Jimquisition is loathe to let these unsingable heroes remain unsung. As a companion to our yearly roundups of the best and worst, I’ve decided to bring us the MEDIOCRE Awards – “celebrating” those games that disappointed us, failed to live up to their promise, or just downright bored us to tears.


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The Bullshit Roundup: Activision Goes Microtransaction Wild, Ubisoft Fucks Up Tetris AGAIN!

It’s been a while since our last roundup, but we’re back and better than ever. Got three slices of premium, grade-AAA bullshit for you to get a whiff of this week.

Activision’s jumped aboard the fee-to-pay train with glee, and its money-grubbing is getting out of control with both Destiny and Call of Duty: Black Ops III getting in on the act. Meanwhile, Ubisoft has managed to ruin Tetris for the second time in its career.

Great job!

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