Metabombed: Dynasty Warriors 9 Is ‘Seizure Inducing Garbage’

It’s no secret by now that I despise Dynasty Warriors 9, not just because of what it DID to Zhang He, but because it’s a derivative, corner-cutting mess of “open world” bullshittery, so desolate and ugly it’s almost indistinguishable from a Steam Direct asset flip.

An easy early nominee for 2018’s worst games list, Tecmo Koei’s cynical farce has come close to killing my love for the series overall.

The game has its defenders, those who somehow think it’s “ambitious” to chase a trendĀ years after it stopped being fashionable. Nonetheless, I’m clearly not alone in seeing this game for what it is – a desperate attempt at relevance by a company that tried to fix what wasn’t broken.

And of course… that’s led to a classic case of METABOMBING!

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The Dismal Degradation Of Dynasty Warriors (The Jimquisition)

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Dynasty Warriors may be my favorite series – or at least it was – but Tecmo Koei has been taking the piss with it for years.

Much of what’s said here could have been said a long time ago, but Dynasty Warriors 9 was its last chance… and we all know how that went.

Oh, and this isn’t just about what they DID to Zhang He!

Dynasty Warriors 9 – The Worst Dynasty Warriors Game Ever Made (Jimpressions)

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Dynasty Warriors 9 is an absolute mistake. The open world actively ruins the flow of the game, the new combat system is a homogenizing step back, and as for what they DID to Zhang He…

Make no mistake about it, this is the worst Dynasty Warriors game of them all, at least as far as mainline entries go.

The Jimquisition: Dynasty Warriors Defense Force

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It is Jimdependence Day, the one-year anniversary of The Jimquisition going solo and becoming an indie endeavor. To celebrate, here’s a whole extra episode!

This is a special subject for me. When I last did a Jimquisition about Dynasty Warriors, it was scheduled to be the final video I did for The Escapist – except I’d become inexplicably popular after a terrible debut, and therefore it signified the beginning of a whole new chapter.

Anyway, this is an episode defending one of the most critically maligned series of all time, Dynasty Warriors. Suck it down!

The Sterlist: 5 Games That Need To Be Remade For Current Gen

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Who doesn’t love lists? It’s the Internet’s favorite thing. The Jimquisition branches out with its own ride on the gravy train, listing five things from things so we can talk about the things!

Let us look at five games that deserve to be remade. While the game industry incessantly doubles down on rereleases, I’ve decided to point them in the right direction.