Metabombed: Battlefield Hardline is a ‘Piece of Sh1t’

After a tepid marketing campaign and a lot of cynicism from the audience, Battlefield Hardline finally slogged it to the finishing line and released this week. The critics’ response has been lukewarm to say the least, to the point where I’ve been one of the more positive reviewers on the block. Most of the big guns think it’s “okay” at the very best – a decent enough, but dated and tone-deaf shooter.

What do The People think of it, though? Well, we have a controversial installment in a huge big budget franchise, a new developer on an established IP, Electronic Arts as the publisher… oh my, this is mama’s classic recipe for Shitstorm Soup!

You guessed it – Battlefield Hardline has been Metabombed by user reviews, as gamers take to everybody’s favorite pissing contest stadium and give EA a piece of their angry, angry minds.

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Metabombed: Evolve Is ‘A Joke And A Total Scam’

The Jimquisition doesn’t regurgitate press releases for third-party controllers or run stories about every little thing that falls out of Jon Blow’s mouth, so please accept my apologies if the site’s looking like the Evolve show lately – I just don’t produce all the filler that would break such posts up, so if I’ve got a big game with plenty of material to write about, you may see a review stacked atop a livestream stacked atop an editorial. Anyway, what I basically mean to say is that I’m going to talk about Evolve some more… or rather, I’m going to let THE PEOPLE talk about it! It’s time to see how Turtle Rock Shooters’ multiplayer extravaganza got Metabombed in a new feature I like to call Metabombed.

Back when I wrote for Destructoid, I posted semi-regular features collecting Metacritic user reviews for popular releases. Sometimes, a big game proves controversial for some reason, and gamers resort to dogpiling Metacritic’s public review system to prove a point, leading to pointed criticism or hilarious meltdowns. With Evolve proving to be one of the more polarizing new games in a while (seriously, its Steam community is a warzone!), you can be sure that Metacritic’s user reviews aren’t a pretty place to be right now. 2k Games did little to earn goodwill with its decision to promote Evolve almost entirely on the basis of downloadable content, and the stage has thus been set for customers to air some dirty laundry – and boy is it dirty!

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Jimquisition Livestream: Evolve

An Evolve review is in the works, but here are some first Jimpressions in the meantime. Recorded live this morning, I go through some Hunter gameplay, then get my arse royally handed to me as a Goliath.

The game is… decent. Several hours in, I’m enjoying it, but I am already feeling somewhat tired of the whole thing, as nothing ever seems to change or – dare I say it – evolve. Haha. What a great bit of wordplay.

Anyway, here’s a video!

Jimquisition Livestream: One Day For Ched

This game didn’t quite make it onto my Shittiest of 2014 list, but it was definitely one of the front-running contenders. It’s a hodgepodge mess that tries to be an old school shooter, but doesn’t understand what made those old games work so well. The result is something almost unplayable.

I had an impulsive desire to try and get through it on a live show. I failed. The stream didn’t even last all that long before the whole thing crashed, but the results did turn out pretty damn funny!

I’m hoping to do a lot more live stuff in 2015, alongside other content. Be sure to follow Jimquisition on Twitch for more in future!

Jimquisition Livestream: The Slaughtering Grounds

Those who follow my work will know that I recently had the developer of The Slaughtering Grounds attempt to censor me on YouTube. Using a copyright takedown notice, my original video of this spectacularly awful game was removed, and my channel was thrown into bad standing with YouTube. Despite the studio’s boasts that it would see me in court, and despite claims that lawyers were backing their case, the video was returned to me last night, indicating that Imminent Uprising (the “publisher” of the game) had failed to pursue any further action. To celebrate, I hopped onto the Jimquisition Twitch channel and played some more of it. Way more of it. Too much of it.

Up there is part one of the video. Down there is part two. Enjoy, and keep an eye on the channel, as I’m looking to do a lot more impromptu livestreams in future!

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