The Jimquisition: Goodbye Greenlight

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Steam Greenlight, while once a promising and perhaps even noble endeavor, became a shitting tip in a year.

Greenlight, aka Greenblight, aka Memelight, a service that did not so much open the floodgates as pull them off the hinges and sell the bastards for scrap metal.

Now it’s gone, so let’s give it the funeral it deserves!

Bonus Content: Oh, Ubisoft!

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The Jimquisition: YOLO Army

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Steam Greenlight was designed to let customers vote on the games that looked most appealing, that they most wanted to buy.

It was a noble idea and an interesting way to allow indie games a chance at recognition.

Unfortunately, the well has been poisoned and the idea perverted to allow all manner of unwanted shite onto Steam. There is one particular vector of infection that must be taken to task.

It’s a “publisher” that calls itself YOLO Army.

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Steam Vote Rigging And Shady Connections: The Curious Case Of Bob Middleton

Let’s tell the tale of a hopeful indie developer by the name of Bob Middleton. This person, trading under the name of bobmiddleton80, has three games currently trying to get attention on Steam Greenlight, Black Star CompanyMurderU, and The Clickerton Gang. A cursory glance at each wannabe Steam release shows nothing spectacular – a generic shooter, a humdrum survival horror, and yet another “clicker” game.

Peel away the surface, however, and you might just find something more interesting than the products Mr. Middleton attempts to peddle.

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Greenlight Won’t Get Better When Steam Won’t Enforce Its Own Rules

Pictured above is a quick snapshot of Island Light 2‘s Steam Greenlight page. As you’ll note from the placement of the media scroller, there is no introductory video, no trailer, no gameplay footage of any kind. Those malingering malcontents at Kobra Studio – or Kobra Team, when a name change takes their fancy – simply did not feel like adding a video when publishing this page.

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On Hatred, and Steam’s Sudden Interest in Quality Control

Hatred itself is so transparent in its intent that I’m barely interested in it as an actual videogame. That said, the response to it is fascinating for a number of reasons. At some point, I intend to examine the wacky events revolving around Hatred in a Jimquisition, but since my episodes are locked down with end-of-year content right now, I figured I’d toss something up in the meantime. This is a video discussing Valve’s recent decision to refuse Hatred a place on Steam Greenlight, something that has gaming’s loyalest champions up in arms. Personally, I find it interesting that this is the game Valve’s almost exclusively taking a stand on, when there are titles I find far more offensive – even if my offense is less conventional than the ol’ aversion to violent content.

Yes, Hatred is infantile in its attempts to be shocking, and I ultimately care little whether it sells or not. It’s not Air Control though, and that was on Steam for months.

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Jimquisition Livestream: The Slaughtering Grounds

Those who follow my work will know that I recently had the developer of The Slaughtering Grounds attempt to censor me on YouTube. Using a copyright takedown notice, my original video of this spectacularly awful game was removed, and my channel was thrown into bad standing with YouTube. Despite the studio’s boasts that it would see me in court, and despite claims that lawyers were backing their case, the video was returned to me last night, indicating that Imminent Uprising (the “publisher” of the game) had failed to pursue any further action. To celebrate, I hopped onto the Jimquisition Twitch channel and played some more of it. Way more of it. Too much of it.

Up there is part one of the video. Down there is part two. Enjoy, and keep an eye on the channel, as I’m looking to do a lot more impromptu livestreams in future!

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