At last, you will have the opportunity to throw money at us in exchange for nonsense… again! The merch store should be live tomorrow (at the time of talking), so let’s look at what you can get, and why it’s okay that we’re doing the preorder thing!
NEW MERCH SITE COMING SOON!
Today we’re talking about merchandise woes, circulating the tapes in the face of YouTube’s behavior, Jimpressions changes, and using Patreon as an Ask replacement.
People still like Mario Odyssey, right? The obligatory backlash to its critical acclaim hasn’t gotten too big already? Good. Let’s make money off of it!
Nintendo makes enough off my work thanks to ContentID. Fair trade.
In all seriousness, it’s the time of year where Black Friday deals happen, and Shark Robot is doing one. This year, we finally jumped aboard, so you can get this NEW Super Sterling Odyssey shirt at a discounted price by using the code BLACKFRIDAY17 at checkout.
The discount period runs from November 20 to November 27, so get it while it’s hot. Wa-hoo, and stuff!
Not as quickly as The Shield, but we’re gettin’ there.
Justin had a brilliant idea for this one, which is why it got done so quick. The shirt lets you have a taste of Sterdom yourself with a design based off his Sterling outfit. Purple, with the silver Jimquisition wings on the front and the Sterdust logo on the back.
Order it now, for Christ’s sake! Don’t just watch the Sters, BE a Ster!
Are you a true hardcore gamer like Duke Amiel du H’ardcore himself? Do you feel the need to shove that entitled snobbery right into the faces of the village peasants? Now you can!
Show the world that you’re a real H’ardcore gamer with our new Amiel shirt! Royston’s cleaning services are not part of the deal.
If you’re a fan of The Jimquisition’s entire menagerie of characters, our new Cirque du Sterling shirt will have you covered. Quite literally. Covered in cartoons of perverts and freaks.
All your favorites are there – The Cornflake Homunculus, Jimsaw, even that fat idiot Jim Sterling.
These shirts – and more capitalist tat – are available via Shark Robot, who are quite nice people from my experience.
Look, you don’t have to do this, but if for some bizarre reason you wanted to see my fat NES-era Ganon face on your bedroom wall every day, The Jimquisition Sellout Division has your needs – and wall – covered!
Each poster comes with a “pre-crinkled” look for added authenticity, and boasts the beige border that has become a staple of The Jimquisition’s visual style. Not like it’s actually iconic or anything, I just really like that border.
Remember the name!
I felt it only right that today marks the limited edition return of the “Jim Fucking Sterling Son” T-shirt. All shirt purchases will come with a free Jimquisition Winged Emblem pin.
Coined by Digital Homicide, the phrase was appropriated and turned into a fitting catchphrase by your everso humble Jimquisition host. Now YOU can be Jim Fucking Sterling Son too!
Be better than the attractive models in the header image who wouldn’t be caught dead actually wearing one of my shirts. Be better!
The immensely popular Jimquisition emblem pins are now back in stock, and unlike Nintendo, we actually make our product to fit the demand!
After the initial run of 500 proved to be far too few, Sharkrobot had another 2,000 prepared. You can get them right there, and if you buy any T-shirt from the Jimquisition store, you can get a pin entirely free.
Give yourself the gift of a small metal picture this Christmas. Why not, eh? EH!?
Are you a fan of ironic death traps? Do you idolize a man who watched too many SAW movies and took it too far? Then you’ll love our new JimSAW shirt, available now from the Jimquisition merch store!
Created by the talented David North, based on Kerry Dyer’s mask design for the notorious Jimsaw Killer (who definitely isn’t me), this shirt reveals the true face of horror in the videogame industry.
You can order the shirt now and tickle your nipples in preparation for their shrouding.
Seriously though, it’s a cool shirt. So like, get it if you want. No pressure.
[Update: The Jimquisition pins sold out in a matter of hours. Woah, Dave!
The Jimquisition Sellout Store has been updated to include a saucy new pin mimicking the classic Jimquisition emblem that strikes fear into the hearts of nobody and inspires hope in the hearts of two dozen!
Made of genuine materials, this pin is currently limited to 500 pieces which, to be fair, should be more than enough but I’m going to pretend otherwise. Get them while you can THEY WILL SELL OUT DEFINITELY!
The Sharkrobot Jimquisition Store still has T-shirts and a coolbutts poster, and we’ll be adding some more apparel designs in the coming weeks.
IMPORTANT NOTE: If you buy a shirt, you can get a pin free along with it!
Check it out – my tat makes great Christmas gifts for people who don’t know me or like me. The shirts can also double as super fancy toilet paper provided you toss them in a dishwasher after every two weeks’ of use.
Them pins are good though, I’ve got one. Not one of the 500. Mine is one-of-a-kind and you can’t have it.