Fallout 76 – Nuclear Waste (Jimpressions)

It never seemed likely that Bethesda was capable of handling an online Fallout game, and the dreadful mess that is Fallout 76 only validates one’s cynicism. Which is fine, because Fallout 76 is, itself, a cynical game.

A cynical game that barely works.

Lifeless, archaic, and featuring a totally mangled VATS system, this desperate trip on the Live Services bandwagon is an utter waste of time.

The Quiet Man – Pretentious Broken Garbage (Jimpressions)

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The Quiet Man was quietly squirted out by Square Enix with little fanfare after it was shown off at E3. Why the sudden desire to keep it on the down low? Because it’s awful, that’s why.

Nonsensical, ugly, broken, and often hilariously incompetent, The Quiet Man is confusing gibberish from beginning to end. Speaking of the end… hoo boy!

Assassin’s Creed Odyssey – It’s Grindy, It’s Greedy, It’s Ubisoft! (Jimpressions)

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Assassin’s Creed Odyssey is one damn greedy game. In addition to its half dozen special editions, its Amazon Alexa tie-in, its Totino’s promotion, and its season pass, it’s filled to the brim with microtransactions. As well as all that, it’s been purposefully turned into a grindfest in order to sell XP boosters, like this is some free-to-play mobile game.

Fee-to-pay games are back in a major way. More like Assassin’s Greed!

Metabombed: NBA 2K19 Is ‘Trash And Predatory’

2K Games has made it quite clear by now that it sees videogames not as artistic expressions, but purely as a means to extract as much money from its customers as possible. No purer example exists than the NBA 2K series. Thanks to microtransactions, gambling mechanics, and mobile free-to-play style economies, 2K’s basketball games have been vandalized and mutilated in the quest for extra dollars.

This has not gone unnoticed by the series’ fans, and it should come as no surprise that the latest in the series, NBA 2K19, has been thoroughly metabombed by a dejected populace. As is only right, of course!

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Shadow Of The Tomb Raider – A Shadow Of Its Former Self (Jimpressions)

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Shadow of the Tomb Raider is fine. It’s simply okay, in a mundane way. While the previous games in the “reboot” continuity were great action adventures, this is predominantly a swimming simulator with a boring plot and dull backdrop.

Also, the direction this game takes, with its lacking combat and focus on restrictive exploration, is a little baffling.