The Best Of GameFAQs’ Uncharted 4/Quantum Break Temper Tantrum

If you want some overwrought outrage and a high concentration of people missing the point of things, a good place to start is GameFAQs.

In my experience, I’ve found it’s a primo source of Eggshell Princes who get supremely sensitive over review scores and routinely interpret jokes as 100% sincere statements.

With the publication of my latest Blatantly Better, in which I argued for Quantum Break‘s superiority over Uncharted 4, you can bet your ass some noble corporate defenders stepped up to protect Sony’s integrity.

In the hilariously titled topic, Jim Sterling & Jimquisition: The Master of Clickbait, an outraged KinjoTakemura presented my article with just the bullet points, robbed of context, and took the whole thing at face value.

The results were funny as fuck. Here’s the best stuff.

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The Best of The Division Review’s Comment Section

“Don’t read the comments” is a phrase trotted out regularly with regards to online content. While I can see the merit in the mantra, it’s not a philosophy I’ve often subscribed to. After all, how else would I know I’m a cuck?

The Division‘s release has brought with it a high amount of online angst, as people who should be playing the game are instead roaming the information superhighway like feral dogs, barking and screaming at anybody who might not like it.

And Destiny fans. Hardcore Division players absolutely hate Destiny fans.

My review of Ubisoft’s latest factory-standard romp drew an incredible crowd, and with it some of the most hilarious examples of impotent rage one could hope to enjoy. For the crime of suggesting their corporate product was “alright” and not perfect, I’ve been subject to some highly amusing attempted abuse.

After going back and staring with a grin at the outpouring of childlike fury, I had to preserve the best of it for posterity.

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Metabombed: Hitman Is ‘A Complete Fiasco’

Last week, Square Enix launched Hitman to a decidedly mixed response. While it’s been almost universally praised for the quality of its content, the method of its distribution has left a sour taste in the mouths of many.

As reported on a recent Jimquisition episodeHitman went episodic as part of the publisher’s panicked plan to start carving games into pieces. This led to the confusingly titled Hitman: Intro Pack, and a fair bit of cynicism from fans.

Worse than this, however, is the game’s always-online requirement. Despite being a single-player game, Hitman utilizes online features that act as glorified DRM and have led to numerous negative expriences.

The result? Hitman just got Metabombed!

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Metabombed: Street Fighter V Is “An Incomplete Beta Game”

It seems the “AAA” industry has truly embraced the Early Access model without daring to admit as much – Street Fighter V has joined the likes of Star Wars: Battlefront and Rainbow Six Siege by releasing as an incomplete game, promising updates in the future.

As you might expect… the fans aren’t happy.

Citing the lack of content in comparison to previous releases, the threadbare single-player options, and a number of online problems, users have voiced their concerns in the strongest possible terms. By all accounts, Capcom hasn’t pleased its audience with this one – and it’s not hard to empathize with that audience’s anger.

As always, the rage has been taken to Metacritic’s user reviews section, making Street Fighter V the latest METABOMB target.

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Metabombed: Just Cause 3 Is “A Boring Piece Of Buggy Beta”

Opinions have been quite split over Avalanche’s long-awaited Just Cause 3. Some people are loving it, others are hating it – I was fairly lukewarm on the whole thing myself, which is a shame.

If you really want to see extreme opposite opinions though, you need look no further than Metacritic’s user review section, where you’ll find more 10s and 0s than you could ever dream of! Oh, you better believe Just Cause 3 is the latest release to get METABOMBED!

PC gamers have taken to the user reviews in order to express their frustration at a buggy and poorly optimized launch, though the gameplay itself has suffered a fair few criticisms too. Rico Rodriguez is, sadly, not grappling his way out of this one.

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The Jimquisition: The Blacklist

The hot topic of the past week has been blacklisting, and it should come as no shock that your ol’ pal Jim Sterling has more than a few words to say on the matter.

Can companies be justified when they refuse to talk to a press outlet? Are press outlets justified to go public with these refusals? What gives blacklists power, and how to do we limit that power? Let’s find some quasi-adequate answers to these questions!

The Jimquisition: Modern Warfare 3

In recent years, communities like Reddit and NeoGAF have largely come to enjoy – or at least tolerate – the work of yours truly. This has been wonderful to see, that change in perception. I’m proud of it. Wasn’t always that way, however.

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 remains the most controversial review I’ve ever written, igniting a hellfire of outrage among those two communities, as well as other places – including Destructoid, where it was published.

The way in which this outrage perpetuated was not through an understanding of the review, however, but through memes and a disingenuous carving away of nuance in order to present a simplified – and ultimately untrue – perspective of things.

Today’s episode has been a long time coming. I’ve planned it for years. I’m finally pulling the thorn out. Let’s talk about Modern Warfare 3.

Metabombed: Fallout 4 Is “Vomit Trash”

I still remember the fury that scorched the Internet when Bethesda first showed us Fallout 3. While perhaps not the worst of game-specific fandoms out there (certainly nowhere near Sonic levels), the more zealous aspects of the Fallout audience is nonetheless vicious in its anger. At least, I think they’re fans. Some of them aren’t. Some of them just hate Bethesda. Or Fallout. Or something. It’s a cocking mess.

Even yesterday, before the game was available, some commenters were outraged that Fallout 4 was getting positive reviews like this one I wrote. While I adore the game, I knew for a fact this would be the next METABOMB victim, as a mass of virulence was coming this game’s way no matter what.

So, let’s look at the Metacritic user reviews and see just how bad Bethesda’s latest offering got it, shall we?

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Metabombed: Call of Duty: Black Ops III Is Like “A Bugs Bunny Cartoon”

Nothing brings out the venom in Real Hardcore Gamers(tm) quite like a Call of Duty launch. I’m clearly weary of the series, and admitted as much in my somewhat nihilistic review of Black Ops III, but I’m never not shocked by the sheer rage some people have over the mere fact this series exists. If you want to see such rage manifested in easily compiled text, there’s no better place than the Metacritic user reviews.

Yep, it’s time for another trip into the abyss, as we look at what people have to say about Black Ops III. Most notably, we check out reactions to the PC version of the game, which launched in a less than favorable state.

Strap yourselves in, folks, because Black Ops III has been METABOMBED!

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