Don’t Have A ‘Cappy’ Black Friday, Go On A Super Sterling Odyssey With This New Shirt… For God’s Sake

People still like Mario Odyssey, right? The obligatory backlash to its critical acclaim hasn’t gotten too big already? Good. Let’s make money off of it!

Nintendo makes enough off my work thanks to ContentID. Fair trade.

In all seriousness, it’s the time of year where Black Friday deals happen, and Shark Robot is doing one. This year, we finally jumped aboard, so you can get this NEW Super Sterling Odyssey shirt at a discounted price by using the code BLACKFRIDAY17 at checkout.

The discount period runs from November 20 to November 27, so get it while it’s hot. Wa-hoo, and stuff!

Stergazers Unite! Get Your Very Own Sterdust Shirt… CHOMP!

This week, the wrestling world was stunned by the long-awaited arrival of Sterdust. As with any good wrestler, merchandise has been made very quickly.

Not as quickly as The Shield, but we’re gettin’ there.

Justin had a brilliant idea for this one, which is why it got done so quick. The shirt lets you have a taste of Sterdom yourself with a design based off his Sterling outfit. Purple, with the silver Jimquisition wings on the front and the Sterdust logo on the back.

Order it now, for Christ’s sake! Don’t just watch the Sters, BE a Ster!

And check out some other tat while you’re there.

Official Commentocracy shirt? Official Jimquisition shirt? Sign me up, you fuckers!

Are you a true hardcore gamer like Duke Amiel du H’ardcore himself? Do you feel the need to shove that entitled snobbery right into the faces of the village peasants? Now you can!

Show the world that you’re a real H’ardcore gamer with our new Amiel shirt! Royston’s cleaning services are not part of the deal.

If you’re a fan of The Jimquisition’s entire menagerie of characters, our new Cirque du Sterling shirt will have you covered. Quite literally. Covered in cartoons of perverts and freaks.

All your favorites are there – The Cornflake Homunculus, Jimsaw, even that fat idiot Jim Sterling.

These shirts – and more capitalist tat – are available via Shark Robot, who are quite nice people from my experience.


Hey You! You Can Buy New Jimquisition Posters If You Want

Look, you don’t have to do this, but if for some bizarre reason you wanted to see my fat NES-era Ganon face on your bedroom wall every day, The Jimquisition Sellout Division has your needs – and wall – covered!

Two posters based on the carnival flyers seen in The Jimquisition’s end credits are now available via Shark Robot. You can get one of me thinking and one of me doing a punchable smile.

Each poster comes with a “pre-crinkled” look for added authenticity, and boasts the beige border that has become a staple of The Jimquisition’s visual style. Not like it’s actually iconic or anything, I just really like that border.

The Jimquisition Sellout Division still has plenty of other physical guff on offer, including the Corporate Takeover print, an adorable Jimsaw shirt, and now less than 1,000 Jimquisition emblem pins.

The Jimquisition ‘Corporate Takeover’ Poster Is Pretty Good!

A new bit of Jimquisition merchandise hit the official store today, offering something for your wall instead of your beautiful chest like usual.

“Corporate Takeover” was an image designed by Tom Cala. Originally fan art, I adored the picture so much I bought it from him and now Shark Robot is offering is at a sensual poster for your moist bedrooms.

Hopefully you all buy one because Shark Robot doesn’t stock ’em if they don’t sell that many (booooo) and I want to get one. That’s basically the main reason I do merchandise – so I can buy the shit for myself.

Don’t forget to check out the rest of the store for T-shirts. Shark Robot’s whittled the stock down to the most popular shirts – and I still can’t believe the Splatoon/Killing Joke one wasn’t loved!

The Official #FucKonami T-shirt Is Here!

Celebrate the #FucKonami phenomenon (because it IS a phenomenon) in style with a BRAND new shirt from The Jimquisition Store!

The #FucKonami shirt is now available for your purchasing glee! It’ll be officially available from October 7, but you can do that pre-order thing if you want. I’m not a pre-orderer myself, but that’s how these printing sites do their thing, so it’s NOT ME DOING IT OKAY!?

Not convinced you need one of these? Check out the amazing sales pitch below!

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The Jimquisition Store Is Here! Thank God For Merch

(Update: The Jimquisition Emblem shirt is now a thing!)

By popular demand, you can now wear words from my brain directly across your lithe, supple body. In league with the lovely folks at Shark Robot, you may now swarm like starving dogs over the tender meat that is The Jimquisition Store!

Featuring ideas from my own head and granted colorful life by the talented artists David North and Crystal White, these shirt designs will delight your friends and tantalize your sexual partners. If you’re into sexual partners. If not, that’s cool too! These shirts can be worn by literally anybody. If they’re a human. Or at least vaguely humanoid.

Anyway, these are great. Our launch lineup includes some classic expected phrases – you can declare that you’re “Jim Fucking Sterling Son” or proclaim “Thank God for me.” In addition, we have some great designs based on some of my oft-mentioned interests – AliensSplatoon and Mysterio from Spider-Man all have affectionate, copyright-abiding, parodying images.

This is just the launch. We’ll be adding new designs over time, and you are free to make requests. Please enjoy, and if you’re picking anything up, let me know. I’d love to see what shirts have you the most excited.

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