The Jimquisition: Nintendo’s Virtual Console Is Trash Garbage

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With Pokemon Snap finally arriving on the North American Wii U Virtual Console, it’s time to get something off my incredible tits.

Let’s talk about Nintendo’s terrible VC release structure.

(PS – Apologies for the ad. For some reason Chains of Love no longer reliably gets flagged and deadlocks the ContentID bots being deployed by Nintendo, who elected to monetize this video. I am appealing it, obviously. In future I’ll have to throw a few more deadlocks out to properly safeguard against game companies’ disrespect of fair use.)

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The Jimquisition: Big Empty Sandboxes

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Open world games are everywhere, and it’s getting really stupid. You can tell they’re happening just to follow a trend as well, since so few open world games manage to justify actually being open world.

There are blatant clues found in many of these desolate sandboxes, and we’re going to talk about them and why they’re making videogames rubbish.

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The Jimquisition: Top Ten Shittiest Games Of 2016

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2016 provided no shortage of absolute monstrosities to include in our annual list of the worst games ever.

After much deliberation and tossing of wine glasses, The Jimquisition has narrowed the unworthy contenders down to ten absolute triumphs of shittiness.

For your miserable delight, we now present the Top Ten Shittiest Games of 2016!

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The Jimquisition: Final Fantasy And Patchwork Narratives

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Square Enix has a roadmap of significant post-launch updates to Final Fantasy XV, going so far as to pledge entire narrative additions.

The idea of patching in more story is interesting, and in FFXV‘s case it’s even admirable. There is a downside to it, however, one that we ought to be mindful of.

 

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The Jimquisition: Nintendo – A Shit Distributor And Fuckheaded Toymaker

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Nintendo’s manufactured scarcity is a commonly known deal, and it’s just getting beyond ludicrous.

The NES Classic is the latest farce, shipping to stores in pitiful numbers despite well-known demand.

Basically, Nintendo’s a fucked up toymaker thinking everything it makes is a goddamn Hatchimal, whatever the hell THAT is!

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The Jimquisition: Genitalia

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Oh, Ubisoft! Watch Dogs 2 had to patch out some “particularly explicit” genitalia, and that’s a big ol’ laugh.

However, while one particular naughty bit is gone, others remain. Why is it okay for some, and not others? What’s the difference?

A spirited Jimquisition (one of my new favorites, actually), discusses our attitudes toward penises and vaginas.

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The Jimquisition: A Lesson In Five Nights

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For more hot sax! https://www.patreon.com/carlcatron

Five Nights At Freddy’s is a mind-boggling success, but it wasn’t always this way, and Scott Cawthon was not always a horror mastermind.

Adversity and a hell of a lot of criticism got Five Nights creator Cawthon where he is today, and on the second annual Jimdependence Day, we examine how.

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