Here, have a Pepsi.
The frenzy surrounding The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild is a whole new level of fan overreaction, and this is coming from someone who’s seen what happens when you say Uncharted isn’t perfect.
When they’re not busy launching DDoS attacks against outlets that didn’t like the game as much as they did, they’re being really very angry at Horizon: Zero Dawn, a game with very little connection to Zelda but has become a popular target of BotW‘s most delirious fanbabies.
Both games are huge open world experiences, and both are exclusive to particular consoles. This is of course a recipe for disaster where the two games were destined to be compared in the most vitriolic ways imaginable. Plenty of Nintendo’s zealots were furious when they learned of my own highly favorable review, and if you believe them, Zero Dawn‘s fanbase has had an axe to grind against Breath of the Wild for a long time.
The reality, however, is not quite as these wearers of green, pointy, tinfoil-lined hats would lead you to believe.
The first portion of this video is some performative yelling about weapon durability, specifically in The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild.
The second portion is about something less durable than any weapon in any game – the psyches of Zelda‘s most viciously defensive fans.
Because I apparently hate myself, I’m talking about gender-related stuff in videogames. So I’VE got a fun day lined up!
Anyway, Link’s not a girl, Zelda isn’t playable, and Nintendo’s reasons for this situation are total bollocks.
And that’s my problem. Not the situation. The bollocks.
Much has been made of Bloodborne‘s mysterious and often confusing plot. What is the Night of the Hunt? Exactly how did the Healing Church come to be? What is the true nature of the Great Ones, and the sinister Chalice Dungeons from which they seem to have sprung? The city of Yharnam is an old and shrouded place, and like any good From Software title, it drips in history and lore. Recently, Rich Stanton wrote an excellent breakdown of the game’s plot, but as brilliant as his writing is… he’s simply wrong. Every theory I’ve ever read about the game is wrong, wrong, wrong.
Through extensive research and thinking about things while sat on the toilet, I’ve connected the dots and figured out what’s really supposed to be happening in Bloodborne. It’s a plot that spans multiple games – multiple franchises, even – and crafts an intricate spider’s web of plot threads and secrets. Director Hidetaka Miyazaki has created something truly mindblowing here, and I’m about to take the lid off the soup can!