Jimquisition Livestream: Raven’s Cry

Equal parts hilarious and depressing, Raven’s Cry sees Topware reproducing the amazing awfulness of Two Worlds for a new generation. It’s laughable, and saddening, and the script/acting makes it seem like it was originally a porno.

Join Cap’n Christopher Raven as he abuses and uses women, stabs men in the hand for no reason, forgets how to make sounds with his mouth, and fails at his one basic job – being a pirate. He’s the hero we all wish we could be.

Jimquisition Livestream: Dying Light

If you like Far Cry but wish it had more zombies, then you’ll enjoy Dying Light, because it’s Far Cry with zombies. There are so many ZAMBIES, in fact, that you’ll think you died and went to ZAMBIE HEBBEN!

So yeah, this is that game nobody got review copies of until a day before launch. Ironically, the game reportedly worked well before release, then some genius released a patch for the PC version that broke everything. I’m doing the main review off the PS4 version, but here’s my attempted stream of the PC one. It doesn’t go fabulously.

As for the game? Eh, it’s okay. It’s pretty okay.

The Jimquisition: Games To GET HYPE For In 2015

Let’s kick off the new year with a look forward to the upcoming games that most jump out at me. I got five games to talk about across a range of genres, and I think most would agree they’re looking pretty hopeful… unlike that year when I said I was looking forward to Colonial Marines.

Now that we’re out of the holidays, more content should be coming to these here pages. One good thing about a site without ad money to worry about is that it can have a more narrowly defined focus and doesn’t need to churn out guff. The drawback to that focus is that, when the game industry has nothing for me to review, this site goes pretty quiet. That’s fine and everything, but it’d be nice to get the writing going again, so here’s to more reviews and editorials and fun times on the way!

Hope y’all had a good holiday, and may I wish you all a very erotic 2015!

The Top Ten Shittiest Games of 2014!

It’s time for the fifth annual Top Ten Shittiest Games of 2014. This year had an almost unprecedented level of awful releases, and picking those games representative of such a dire twelve months was a daunting task. Overall, however, I feel I selected the ten games that most perfectly captured The Year in Shit.

Most importantly, I kept it perfectly impersonal. More or less.


The Jimquisition Game of the Year Awards 2014

We have an award show for you to cram down your gullet! Five games, five Game of the Year awards, all cop. The Jimquisition Awards honor the best games in a year that, to be honest, had quite a few disappointments. Nonetheless, these are all worthy picks, with two honorable mentions, and if you haven’t played any of them, you ought to take some time this holiday season.

Also, yes, a new microphone is coming. Planning a couple tech upgrades that probably won’t make things perfect (I need better recording space, something I really can’t do right now) but will improve things. Trust me, I’m sicker of audio issues than anybody else could be.

In any case, enjoy the show, and happy holidays!