Yakuza 0 reviews went up yesterday – at least as far as the worldwide edition of the game is concerned – but no words written could describe the game better than the game itself can.
For those familiar with the series, Yakuza‘s weird sense of humor and eccentric scenarios are nothing new. For yours truly, Sega’s gangsterial action-adventure prequel was nothing short of a revelation.
My DualShock 4’s Share button was given the workout of its life while I played this. The amount of dialog and imagery that needs further examination is more than I can legitimately handle. The following screenshots are a mere fraction of what’s on offer.
Let’s look at some of the bizarre shit I saw!
This one is relatively mundane, but it’s something fun you can do. If Kiryu – one of two protagonists in 1988 Japan – has any oranges in his inventory, he’ll get an option to stuff them in the mouths of his opponents. He’ll then stamp on their faces and cause juice to pour from their lips like little citrusy fountains.
Did I mention I love this game?
Kiryu asks a question I think we’ve all asked at some point or other.
This and the last image are from a quest in which you rumble a group of high school girls selling their underwear. Our hapless protagonist initially believes they’re doing more full-on sex work, so when he’s asked if he wants top or bottom, hilarity ensues!
Another very important message from Yakuza 0.
Over in Sotenbori, alternative protagonist Majima gets to enjoy sights such as these. This happy gentleman is just standing in a cabaret club, thrusting his hips and generally being a naughty boy.
This screenshot features one of my new favorite lines of text ever to be found in a videogame.
The game industry really has come a long way, hasn’t it?
Just another day in Kamurocho.
I spent this whole sequence yelling “CHILDREN ARE WATCHING YOU” at my television.
In this sidequest, Kiryu attempts to help a dominatrix find the confidence to berate her masochistic clients. For some reason, a public park with children in it was deemed a suitable place. The right answer to the question posed in this screenshot – “Don’t fucking say anything with kids watching” – is not an option.
Yakuza 0 has a very odd idea of an appropriate situation.
On the other hand, I can’t really argue against an indictment of kink shaming. Who are we to shame, indeed?
One fun thing about Yakuza 0 is how sidequests don’t just end when they end. Characters from completed sub-stories will turn up to help out with the comprehensive strategy/simulation games that unlock partway through the campaign. Here, the Masochistic Man from the dominatrix quest turns up as an asset for Kiryu’s real estate business.
Also, something about pigs.