Ten Images That Sum Up Yakuza 0 Better Than I Could

Yakuza 0 reviews went up yesterday – at least as far as the worldwide edition of the game is concerned – but no words written could describe the game better than the game itself can.

For those familiar with the series, Yakuza‘s weird sense of humor and eccentric scenarios are nothing new. For yours truly, Sega’s gangsterial action-adventure prequel was nothing short of a revelation.

My DualShock 4’s Share button was given the workout of its life while I played this. The amount of dialog and imagery that needs further examination is more than I can legitimately handle. The following screenshots are a mere fraction of what’s on offer.

Let’s look at some of the bizarre shit I saw!

This one is relatively mundane, but it’s something fun you can do. If Kiryu – one of two protagonists in 1988 Japan – has any oranges in his inventory, he’ll get an option to stuff them in the mouths of his opponents. He’ll then stamp on their faces and cause juice to pour from their lips like little citrusy fountains.

Did I mention I love this game?

Kiryu asks a question I think we’ve all asked at some point or other.

This and the last image are from a quest in which you rumble a group of high school girls selling their underwear. Our hapless protagonist initially believes they’re doing more full-on sex work, so when he’s asked if he wants top or bottom, hilarity ensues!

Another very important message from Yakuza 0.

Over in Sotenbori, alternative protagonist Majima gets to enjoy sights such as these. This happy gentleman is just standing in a cabaret club, thrusting his hips and generally being a naughty boy.

This screenshot features one of my new favorite lines of text ever to be found in a videogame.

The game industry really has come a long way, hasn’t it?

Just another day in Kamurocho.

I spent this whole sequence yelling “CHILDREN ARE WATCHING YOU” at my television.

In this sidequest, Kiryu attempts to help a dominatrix find the confidence to berate her masochistic clients. For some reason, a public park with children in it was deemed a suitable place. The right answer to the question posed in this screenshot – “Don’t fucking say anything with kids watching” – is not an option.

Yakuza 0 has a very odd idea of an appropriate situation.

On the other hand, I can’t really argue against an indictment of kink shaming. Who are we to shame, indeed?

One fun thing about Yakuza 0 is how sidequests don’t just end when they end. Characters from completed sub-stories will turn up to help out with the comprehensive strategy/simulation games that unlock partway through the campaign. Here, the Masochistic Man from the dominatrix quest turns up as an asset for Kiryu’s real estate business.

Also, something about pigs.

Brandon Broze
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Brandon Broze

Japanese gaming seriously needs more hot sandbox titles like Yakuza.

Real shame they don’t… Why is that? Do most Japanese gamers “hate” sandboxes?? Am I missing something here?

Cinebeast
Guest

Why haven’t I heard about this game until today?

Why?

If I had any money I’d buy it right now.

Marcus Cohen
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Marcus Cohen

Another reason to get a PS4 besides Bloodborne? I thought this day will never come!

Shui Gor
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Shui Gor

Whoever did the localization for Yakuza 0 is a fucking genius.

About12Kittens
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About12Kittens

Because of this and your review I’m gonna pick up Yakuza now, thank you jim

Drake Warnock
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Drake Warnock

As someone who has also never played a Yakuza game I feel I must play them as soon as possible.

sillyskeleton
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sillyskeleton

Jim only just discovering Yakuza is like an eccentric film buff only just discovering Quentin Tarantino.

Sam
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Sam

Oh what the fuck it’s not on PC?!

Joseph Taylor
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Joseph Taylor

I don’t understand how there are games that still look this ugly 3 years into the ‘next-gen’ life cycle.

qorl123
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qorl123

I’m not personally fond of the japanese brand of quirky humor, but the fights look kind of amusing

Aotrs Commander
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Aotrs Commander

I am really not into this sort of game, by and large and they generally do nothing for me, so Yakuza 0 can pat itself on the back when I say the game actually looks pretty fun and amusing. I’d be nearly tempted. (Being a PC gamer (who’s one and only console* (unless you count handhelds) is a barely-used PS2 with a shocking amount of unfinished JRPGs on it, it’s not one I’m likely to actually play or anything, but it clearly deserves a tip of my hat nonetheless.) *Well, i suppose you could count my Gamecube, but that literally… Read more »

ATBro
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ATBro

What the fuck is going on in Yakuza!?!

Evan Thompson
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Evan Thompson

I usually don’t judge a game on graphics alone, but Mass Effect 2 looks better than this

Terriosaurus Hex
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Terriosaurus Hex

You only get a bucket and a half in your lifetime, Jim. If Phoenix Nights has taught me anything, it’s that.

Kyolux
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Kyolux

“My DualShock 4’s Share button was given the workout of its life while I played this.”

That’s great. From my experience with the JP version, it wouldn’t let me use the share feature at all.

Iftekhar Ahmed
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Iftekhar Ahmed

I always felt as though Yakuza is what Shenmue strived to be. The Odin Sphere to Princess Crown if you will.

CaitSeith
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CaitSeith

Oh my freaking god! Now I know what I want for my birthday, and maybe this game for Christmas.

HerbertGW
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HerbertGW

Shame it’s not on the PC.

Richard Cadman
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Richard Cadman

Damn, this looks great. Thing is the only one I played was 4 and while good ,having 4 protagonists didn’t gel so well with me so I didn’t immediately jump into another.

I definitely intend on playing the remake of the first, I think they said they were porting that to the west.

Kev' Bryant
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Kev' Bryant

Something about pigs? I think the title should be “Dave Cameron Simulator”!

Sperium3000
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Sperium3000

See, this is what I like about the Yakuza series. In a time when every game is like “LOOK AT THIS OPEN WORLD, LOOK HOW BIIIIIG IT IS!” and then gives you a bunch of space with little in it to do because everyone wants to be GTA but invariably fucks it up, Yakuza does it’s own thing. It gives an open, but compact map dense with stuff to do. Be it Kamurocho, Okinawa, Sotenbori or what have you, every town you go to in this series is as much a character as Kiryu or Majima, and the odd people… Read more »

Simon
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Simon

Oh my jizz-slurping Christ! This is what I’m talkin ’bout! Thank you, Jim! Something about the pics remind me of the edginess of the original Deus Ex before it went mainstream and all micro-transactiony, but even edgier! If this is any indication of 2017 it’s going to be a good year!

Now let’s see if it gets banned or censored in this stupid nanny-state Australia.

Rick S
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Rick S

That guy must have has staphylococcus infections as a kid. The artist drew the skin pores to appear like large pock marks !

CitizenErased
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CitizenErased

I love how there’s also a balanced amount of substories that range from absurd to genuinely heartwarming or just tear-inducingly dramatic. Yakuza is one of the least cynical series in existence.

Sapphire Crook
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Sapphire Crook

You didn’t mention the Chicken, Nugget.
You should’ve shown Nugget being an A-class financial man!