The Best Of Haydee‘s Steam User Reviews

Haydee is  a self-described “hardcore old-style metroidvania mixed with modern-day third person shooter and platformer mechanics,” priding itself on punishing gameplay that doesn’t hold your hand. Its protagonist also has massive boobs and a big ol’ arse that thrusts toward the camera at regular intervals.

Unsurprisingly, Steam users love it!

This obfuscating game with astounding breastsploitation is rocketing up Steam’s charts, giving thirsty boys everywhere a taste of what Real Hardcore Gaming is all about. Crucially, the customer reviews are solid gold, far more entertaining than the game itself.

Let’s look at them!

We shall kick off with some lighthearted homophobia from Papa Soma.

As deep my love goes for Metroidvania games and big, curvy women, this game is something certinly for people like me. Who knows, you might not be me, so eh. All I can say is that you’re gay. :^)

I tried running a word count for “thicc” on the review page but it broke my browser forever. Here’s Rexus300’s review.

Wow,

I’ll probably come up with a better explaination later.

This game is totally a thumbs up.

And dang is Haydee Thicc!

Just a quick recommendation from sono.

Review On 2016-09-26: Tuts!

Here’s hoping Johnny Spoiler one day gets the game of his creams… sorry, dreams. Despite saying it isn’t fun, he still gives it a thumbs up. That’s quality gamin’!

Wish I had to put a creampie in her and the game was actually really fun. I advises this to those who like women and games with puzzle.

Here’s JoeManFoo to tell you what gaming is really all about – dying a lot.

So. As the first achivement goes in the game “Welcome to Haydee”.
This game is hard. You’re going to die.
You don’t know what the hell to do next. You’re going to die.
You’re going to die.

a lot

If you do not enjoy games where you’re going to die a lot don’t buy this. If you do purchase this game, be aware that this isn’t visually a game for children and please refrain from baggering the community and the developer(s) with “Why…?” It’s not important and if you’re offended then don’t buy the game.

As to the gameplay. You’re going to die a lot! This is a puzzle game, you need to think, problem solve and you’re going to die a lot. As with every puzzler you need to look around EVERYWHERE you go. The place you need to get to next maybe a few rooms back, in a spot you didn’t look at the first time 😉

You’re going to die a lot.

I’m looking forward to hopefully getting information on who I am, where am I, what am I doing here…So hopefully the story is as clever as the problem solving and challenge are. I have a few games in my library here on Steam and this is the first time I’ve given a review in a very long time if ever. The feeling of the game is pretty much the same as the start of The Talos Project – same why am I hear, etc., but Haydee doesn’t scratch that itch, which forces you to push on through the frustrations of dying a lot!

So, if you like dying a lot and not having a clue on why you’re trying to escape from whereever this is and love finding your way out then the $15 or so is worth it – it sure is for me and I’m enjoying myself in between the rage quits after dying a lot 🙂

Tip: How to get down on to a ledge – think about how you’d do it in the real world, back up and crouch down. Easy.

By the way, it’s not “easy” to drop down from ledges, due to the game’s ponderous interface, unintuitive controls, and the need to press several buttons for actions that require one button in normal games. Anyway, let’s read Почему’s review!

Thicc robot adventures is a good game

Pros:
-Thicc robot
-Puzzly
-Hardish/Challenging
-Kinda spooky?
-Shoegaze music
-Simple gfx but works well with what its got

Cons:
-Knife robot

Tips:
-Put your gun away to jump
-Remember where mines killed you the last time dummy

Having to turn around to drop down onto a ledge is not a con, it puts robot butt in your face.

Aeglos Lee keeps it simple.

Kim Kardashian Simulator

Tony Bamanaboni ought to be careful he doesn’t cut himself on his own edge.

The Plot is so THICC and JUICY.

10/10 Would Misoggyknee again

Meanwhile, puh keeps it classy with this little anecdote.

i came for the character
and came to the character
and now i am stuck in a water room
i came all of my brain cells out
help

ANCRON provides a blow-by-blow account of their experience, making the game sound terrible in the process. They really, really liked it though. I wonder why.

0:15 – Barely playing, mostly staring at Haydee.
1:09 – Died over 20 times at tutorial area, because of staring and falling off the ledges.
2:37 – Found great room, posing Haydee, taking screenshots.
3:41 – Continuing to play, walked off ledge by accident, remembered I didn’t save.
4:12 – Playing for a while now, saving and slowly exploring rooms.
5:23 – Felt hungry, went AFK for some grub to kitchen.
6:02 – Came back and had a weird urge to make a Haydee GIF.
7:24 – Uploaded them to Steam and started to play again.
7:39 – Found really dark room, couldn’t see much, went in anyway.
8:10 – Somehow found my way out of darkness.
8:40 – Found night vision visor, went back into the dark area.
8:41 – Died. Didn’t save (some radioactive swearing)
8:45 – Went for night vision visor. Then saved and explored the darkness.
9:29 – Found Gordon’s crowbar, rebreather and Magnum, hauled back to storage.
9:40 – Entered gas room, died. Forgot rebreather at storage.
9:45 – Equipped rebreather, charged into gas room.
9:46 – Noticed a sign, “no weapons allowed”, couldn’t advance so threw pistol out.
9:48 – Found 6 floors of tight corridors filled with enemies. Died many times.
9:55 – Got really annoyed that I can’t kill anything, ran away to rethink strategy.
10:08 – Picked some mines from storage. With surgical placement destroyed many enemies.
10:40 – Found some green key and went exploring other areas.
11:10 – Found a gate with 4 red keys, had one so I thought BINGO, just open all 4.
11:11 – Opened one lock, key disappeared. Many facepalms.

12.20 – Played for 12 hours, at first it was really fun. Mostly staring at Haydee the first 5 hours, horribly dying by enemies though mostly just walking off ledges while staring at Haydee, but it’s not the point. First 10-20 rooms are pretty easy to recall, but then you get few rooms with closed gates, or not functioning buttons, and you can’t remember all of them after reaching 50. So closer to 10 hours all the running and checking for all the gate and button positions, it starts to get annoying. Add constant dying in new rooms, to find a strategy or find item, manage inventory, etc. By the 12th hour my brain was a mess, all rooms messed up and I pretty much lost it, couldn’t remember where I was. At that point I was even thinking about drawing a map, but didn’t bother. Probably got burned out, it would be nice if you had some sort of legend or map of rooms you visited at least on softcore. Otherwise it’s fun platformer, with not that challenging puzzles, mostly a lot of running around, inventory management and trying to stay alive. Will have to pick it up some other time, maybe with some sort of map / guide, didn’t expect so much dying going into this one, hate that aspect very much personally.

Enjoy the game.

Mozer’s review is a bit more concise than the one we just looked at.

THICC

TheSnakeInYourBoot delivers a negative review, but does admit it could be good if certain things are fixed.

I love robots with ♥♥♥ and ♥♥♥♥♥♥s. I wanted to like this game, but Survival Horror controls and Camera do not work for platforming. Also the practice of save points does not work with a game that controls this poorly, it leads to players getting frustrated that they have to replay sections because of something that wasn’t their fault.

Improve this ♥♥♥♥ so we can have a GOOD game with fat ♥♥♥ and ♥♥♥♥♥♥s.

Finally we have Kyon who provides cons that quite adequately mirror my experience with this deliberately obscure, artificially challenging game. However, Kyon still highly recommends it based on one plus point.

Cons
-This game is hard
–Like, really hard, woah
—Like, I spent an hour in a room without knowing I didn’t have the right item
—-Because I didn’t notice a small hole in the ceiling or ledge I could jump and hang off of
-The game doesn’t tell you that you can crouch away from a ledge to lower yourself safely
-Bungling a action for any reason can screw you over big time
-Saves are far and few inbetween, leading to a lot of time wasted if you die at all
-Falling damage can eat half your health, even if it’s just barely over the threshold
-No map, so if you’re not smart like me, you’ll get disoriented a lot
-You have to navigate blindly in the darkness sometimes, which is scary as balls

Pros
+The booty too strong

hay1

The people have spoken, and Haydee is a hit!

It’s not just selling on “sex” appeal, however. People genuinely seem to love how “difficult” the game is, praising the Resident Evil style save system, abstract control scheme, and traps designed to kill you in ways you could not have expected or countered. All in a game where dying (often instantly without warning) can mean replaying vast tracts of content – often multiple times.

There also seems to be some confusion as to what “hand-holding” is and why it’s different from “basic tutorials” or “interfaces that make a lick of sense.” The promise of “no hand-holding” has become a popular buzzword that often provides a thin mask for games that just haven’t been designed very well.

hay3

From what I’ve played of it, Haydee is an amusing curiosity that’s vastly more entertaining when coupled with others’ reactions to it. It’s a great catalyst for genuinely fun content, but the game on its own? I can’t say I see the appeal, outside of the jigglingly obvious.

Nevertheless, it’s a success, and I hope people are happy with their thicc, thicc game.

Jacob Marion
Guest
Jacob Marion
A rather gratuitous example of female objection in games which so often as nothing to the game’s plot or interface other than to titillate straight male players (and I know some women will love this too and you go sweethearts, but this game is definitely made for male players.) I wish there were games out there where the protagonist was a big, beefy guy with huge bouncing tits and a big ass he pushed into the screen every thirty seconds, I’d play the shit out of that game. 🙂 Still, I swear she could give someone a concussion with those… Read more »
Remus
Guest
Remus

to be perfectly honest, this isn’t even objectification. They are so cartoonishly large that nobody is going to think of this as some kind of goal for women to strive for, or even really find it sexy. It’s just kind of ridiculous and that is probably the point. That and it is also a robot

ATBro
Guest
ATBro

Everything you said is exactly why it’s objectification. Especially that it is a robot. That quite literally makes it an object that has three characteristics and two of which are tits and ass.

Remus
Guest
Remus

really, what women is this hurting? Who will get a negative image about what women are or how to treat them. Yes the character itself is massivly objectified but women as a whole? I don’t buy it. The character invokes no humanity. Maybe I’m doing a wrong defenition here but when I hear objectification I think about it along these lines. Does this depiction further reinforce thinking of real women as objects not creatures with agency. And at least to me personally, this doesn’t.

Rachel McVeigh
Guest
Rachel McVeigh

Objectification is defined as the seeing and/or treating a person, usually a woman, as an object.

In this game a woman is literally an object broken down into her secondary sex characteristics (breasts & ass) with no face, no voice, no personality, just body parts.

This is the logical extreme of the objectification of women. It’s potentially harmful, in the sense that it reinforces the world view that some people have, that women are just a collection of body parts made for their enjoyment.

Jacob Marion
Guest
Jacob Marion

I don’t know, it looks awful similar to 90s comics to me and those were definitely objectification, not to mention there are some animes out there that resemble this, too. I also don’t know if being a robot breaks it, there are guys out there who will sleep with anything that has big boobs and a big ass.

Cyberwulf
Guest
Cyberwulf

no a huge big wang in a tiny tiny thong

George
Guest
George

Cho Aniki

Benj
Guest
Benj

If you don’t want to buy a game with weird jiggly animated roboboobs then you must be gay…

or have experienced some real ones at some point…

or you aren’t using the family computer with a porn blocker on it…

or you have a sense of priority when it comes to your money and time…

Alex Liddell
Guest
Alex Liddell

According to the dunderheads who voted for it on greenlight you are an “SJW” or “feminazi” if you don’t like or don’t want the game on steam.
I hope one day they figure out how to turn off the family safety filters on their computers so they can calm down with a wank instead of bothering everyone else with this nonsense.

Benj
Guest
Benj

I once got called an SJW because I said I’d never drank “Mountain Dew”.

I can’t even begin to understand the logic behind that one.

maikeru
Guest
maikeru

You’ve never done The Dew!?!?

You must be one a those Soda Justice Warriors!

Trouble Man
Guest
Trouble Man

There’s a strange kind of logic to that- being careful about what you consume is related to organic and health culture, which code left-wing.

…well, I did say “strange,” didn’t I?

Riosine
Guest
Riosine

Is that really surprising? People been basing their gender identity in social norms, cosmetics, rituals and interactions for millennia rather than just which stuff they intercourse, in fuction of how aroused or drunk they are.

George
Guest
George

I don’t want to buy this game.

And I’m gay sooooo…..Therefore the hypothesis was correct.

Vincent
Guest

Look, DSouls games have things like telegraphing traps and attacks, mastering the gameplay meaning something, cool visuals and a cleverly told story going for it. The appeal isn’t dying a zillion times because the designers went out of their way to trick you.

Benj
Guest
Benj

I think this reply might have been to the wrong comment…

I love DarkSouls more than several members of my immediate family

I also completely agree that it’s hard in a good way, with a handful of annoying exceptions (fuck you Anor Londo silver knight archers!) requiring you to learn the game on a mechanical level to progress rather than simply memorising every fiddley bypass to every unpredictable instakill death trap.

jedimastercosmin
Guest
jedimastercosmin

Are those Portal assets?

RaikuNH
Guest
RaikuNH

Too easy of a joke

MonkeyKing1969
Guest
MonkeyKing1969

Its protagonist also has massive boobs and a big ol’ arse that thrusts toward the camera at regular intervals.

With some clean up of the animations and some better camera angles that would be a selling point, but as it stands it not really “doing much” for me.

Christian Pohl
Guest
Christian Pohl

The camera makes Resident Evil 4 onwards look like having an FOV of 200.

Chris Barden
Guest
Chris Barden

Is it just me or are her animations horribly in the Uncanny Valley. Watching her run in the trailer straight up unsettled me. I can’t quite put my finger on what exactly the oddity is, but the way she moves is wrong, and makes me a little queasy. I could not play this game if I wanted to.

Rick S
Guest
Rick S

I bet you 95% of the positive reviews are from horny teenagers …

Scott John Harrison
Guest
Scott John Harrison

I saw this game on tumblr yesterday when anti-SJW types complaining on the forum.

It looks like it is the worst of the worst – Bad gameplay + bad design.

Wolfie
Guest
Wolfie

What were they complaining about? How people don’t like her idiotic design? Because TITS?

Rick S
Guest
Rick S

and constant butt shots and rubbing her “robotic vagina” into the camera all the time .

Scott John Harrison
Guest
Scott John Harrison

basically it seems like “they SJWs are going to take our porn game”.

maikeru
Guest
maikeru

… And they complain about “outrage culture?” It’s like the pot calling the kettle black.

Wolfie
Guest
Wolfie

YOU SAID BLACK, FUCKING SJW!! TRYING TO FORCE RACE INTO EVERYTHING!!

Jim Sterling
Guest

The anti-SJW set are literally outrage culture.

maikeru
Guest
maikeru

Ain’t that the truth. :/

TheHoundHalf
Guest
TheHoundHalf

Jim, there’s no more an anti-sjw set than there is an sjw set – they’re a huge and diverse group that are only occasionally vaguely aligned on a couple of issues. The biggest ‘anti-sjw’ I know is fat (and owns it), gay (and owns that too), loves your content (like I do) and we frequently chat about how games could really do with more minority representation. Neither sjw or anti-sjw are all one thing, as much as it might sound pithy to say so.

Still love you though. Especially that sexy fact-of-the-day trumpet.

Doodpants
Guest
Doodpants

I’m confused… this game has a female protagonist. Doesn’t that make it “SJW propaganda”, just like Virginia?

Aidan Long
Guest
Aidan Long

In Virginia, the woman was clothed and had a face. In Haydee, they got rid of that pesky face and gave her a much more revealing outfit.

Scott John Harrison
Guest
Scott John Harrison

the thing is the “Character” is literally a sexy lamp.

RaikuNH
Guest
RaikuNH

People can’t even spell thick right? Humanity’s doomed.

Uzuki
Guest
Uzuki

That’s the cool way of saying it. Like back in the 90’s when we used to say phat instead of fat.

RaikuNH
Guest
RaikuNH

I didn’t and I was cool. At least that’s what my mommy tells me.

maikeru
Guest
maikeru

But… Didn’t “phat” mean cool, and not overweight?

Uzuki
Guest
Uzuki

Well in terms of spelling rather then definition. IE “Yo, those shoes are phat!”

Vincent
Guest

Those tick hoes are fat?

… Why didn’t you notice them earlier? Get them off.

DeadlyYellow
Guest
DeadlyYellow

Would have thought they’d go double-K. K is the hard consonant sound in the word, is a homerow key, and tightens the clustering of letters for faster more efficient typing/swiping.

Uzuki
Guest
Uzuki

Yeah but double-K isn’t as visually pleasing as the double-C, although yes K would probably be a better letter soundwise to use.

DeadlyYellow
Guest
DeadlyYellow

Wait, is it supposed to be some kind of butt emoticon?

Uzuki
Guest
Uzuki

CC… My God… That makes too much sense… IT’S PERFECT… How did we not see this?!

Nitrium
Guest
Nitrium

Worse still, apparently it’s pronounced “tick”.

Urban Dictionary: “pronounced “tick”. referring to a usually black female who’s curve resemble one of an hour glass plus even more booty than a regular hoe. most often found with a pair of thicc ass thighs”

*hood nigga voice*
“damn dat hoe thicc”
“yo anique yo ass is thicc”
“DAUYMM GIRL dats a thicc ass pair of thighs, naw I’m sayin b”
“you could squish some walnuts with an ass dat thicc”

Christian Pohl
Guest
Christian Pohl

I’ll take the drive-by with extra bullets please. Somebody shoot me. We’re doomed.

RaikuNH
Guest
RaikuNH

I hate our society.

Jonathan Roth
Guest
Jonathan Roth

10:1 that was written by a white dude.

MrInsecure
Guest
MrInsecure

Do I want to look up what “thicc” means? I mean, I think I can get it from context, I just want to know how deep a hole I’m falling into.

Ggregd
Guest
Ggregd

Means borderline fat with a big ass and thighs.

Wolfie
Guest
Wolfie

So we need a word for a word we already have that’s just a misspelling of said already-existing word.

Ggregd
Guest
Ggregd

But all the cool kids are sayin’ it.

Wolfie
Guest
Wolfie

You’re grounded. Go to your room and think about what you’ve done.

Uzuki
Guest
Uzuki

Get with the times, old man. It’s what all the phat kids are saying now.

Kev' Bryant
Guest
Kev' Bryant

Without computer privileges! No thick gaming for you!

RaikuNH
Guest
RaikuNH

First I’ve heard it.

MrInsecure
Guest
MrInsecure

I imagine “big ol’ tiddies” is also in the equation there somewhere.

Ggregd
Guest
Ggregd

I think they’re considered a bonus. These people focus on the butt.

RaikuNH
Guest
RaikuNH

That just means chunky

boredgeek
Guest

So a faceless, personality devoid, clone lady with massive tits and thonged ass that get shoved in your face repeatedly (most likely due to purposeful coding and terrible camera coding) that is essentially completely disposable because there are many of her and their lifeless bodies remain on the floor after dying and spawning again? I am sure gameplay is really what the developer was trying to get peoples attention with.

Also, give that lady a fucking sports bra or something, her tits are bouncing all over the place and that can’t help with platforming. I mean come on now.

Stormbringer
Guest

Presumably it’s a robot made for sex. What the hell else could it be.

El Gonzo
Guest
El Gonzo

A failed attempt to construct an airship…?

uxtull
Guest
uxtull

That’s a given, we already had airships with way bigger boobies some 20 years ago!

https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1a08680c5bcd8a34e66e1597792d2f7ccad38c76ff5cce95ec33fd997e6d67e7.jpg

MJC
Guest
MJC

And give her more polygons in her ass. If you want players to look at it for the entire game, it could at least look round rather than like something so sharp I could cut things on it.

Christian Pohl
Guest
Christian Pohl

Didn’t you mean “thongs”? Cutting thongs on it? 🙂

maikeru
Guest
maikeru
From what I saw of the gameplay, its developer somehow confused “hard” with “inconvenient.” The individual elements of the game can work on their own, or in a combination of two or three elements. Taken together, it seems more like a game that deliberately frustrates the player, like a Souls title through the eyes of someone who doesn’t understand proper game design. They’re tough, but have plenty of checkpoints to give you that lady second moment of respite and that feeling of a small triumph against the hostility of the game world. And while they push you into the game… Read more »
El Gonzo
Guest
El Gonzo

I don’t think the dev confused “hard” with “inconvenient”. I don’t think they associate “hard” with gameplay at all. I wouldn’t be surprised if the control scheme allows the game to be played with one hand…

maikeru
Guest
maikeru

Ha!

Stormbringer
Guest

It looks like it could be a well crafted experience. Excect I think I saw part of the “level” pop-in right in front of the player-character at one point. The complaints could’ve been solved by providing more than one model for the robot character, and maybe choosing a better name than “Haydee” to run with. I don’t find this robot’s body particularly attractive. The creators may be overestimating the universality of their physical ideals.

It has a Mirror’s Edge vibe, and is generally more esthetically on point than your average “triple-A” offering.

Wolfie
Guest
Wolfie

Right, I need to say it.

What fucking idiot designed a robot like that for the task of mobility? I mean, look at it, her center of gravity would be FUCKED. It’s so inefficient of a design!

El Gonzo
Guest
El Gonzo

That’s quality box quote material what you have written there. *tipping my hat*

Kev' Bryant
Guest
Kev' Bryant

That said, I’d love to play a “Sonic in Heels” hack that made all the jumping harder.

Milestone_RP
Guest
Milestone_RP

There’s a “Bubsy” mod for Sonic 2 on the Steam Workshop for the Genesis Classics version of that game, that changes Sonic to Bubsy, complete with horrible jumping, physics, and fall damage(!). I’d say “give that a try”, but I’d be actively encouraging masochism.

Kev' Bryant
Guest
Kev' Bryant

I still might check it out; thanks!

CaitSeith
Guest
CaitSeith

If anything, it would make the clunkyness of the controls to appear designed on purpose to reflect the limitations of such inadequate body through the gameplay itself (instead of being just lousy control design).

Milestone_RP
Guest
Milestone_RP

Maybe the boobs are to hold 2 massive gyroscopes, for the purpose of balance.

Wolfie
Guest
Wolfie

Thinking about it, perhaps her body can fold into the breasts much like Samus’ Morph Ball.

Jonathan Roth
Guest
Jonathan Roth

Now there’s a mental image. The morph ball rolling around like a sack of silicone with the occasional nipple rolling past the camera.

Sperium3000
Guest
Sperium3000

Someone clarify this, is Haydee supposed to be a escaping sex robot or something? Because I really don’t get the practical use of boobs on a robot otherwise. Am I sexist for thinking like that? I don’t even know at this point…

PvtHaggard
Guest
PvtHaggard

Think you may be asking too much of the writer.

Kev' Bryant
Guest
Kev' Bryant

To feed robot babies, duh!

astra
Guest
astra

Why would ibayonetta without the style lol

RaikuNH
Guest
RaikuNH

ibayonetta is a good name for her.

Trouble Man
Guest
Trouble Man

Don’t compare Cereza to this titanium tart.

Sperium3000
Guest
Sperium3000

“Wish I had to put a creampie in her and the game was actually really fun. I advises this to those who like women and games with puzzle.”

But you know, just one. My pubescent brain cannot handle any more than one puzzle per game.

PvtHaggard
Guest
PvtHaggard

I don’t get it. If you want to look at booty there’s plenty of that on the internet. Why would you opt to pay for and play what sounds like a poorly designed, frustrating game in order to look at the polygonal butt of some weird robot? I’ve successfully looked at said butt by watching the trailer just now.

Ohbaaskah
Guest
Ohbaaskah

I wonder if its the sense of legality that makes it so enticing? Otherwise I too dont get it.

Christian Pohl
Guest
Christian Pohl

Bad Ass Babes has more thrills than this.

Salador
Guest
Salador

I guess some people just can’t get enough booty. Even if it’s weird robot polygonal booty.

Not Lord Atkin
Guest
Not Lord Atkin

I’m torn.
Objectification bad but body type representation good. Is this game really sexist or really progressive?
Is progressive sexism a thing?

Sperium3000
Guest
Sperium3000

… I suppose it’s a matter of perspective.

MrInsecure
Guest
MrInsecure

Yeah, too bad the camera in the game sucks balls

Sperium3000
Guest
Sperium3000

Considering Haydee’s ass takes 60% of it….

Ggregd
Guest
Ggregd

That body type is more rare then slim and fit, so I don’t see how it’s promoting positive body image.

MrInsecure
Guest
MrInsecure

It’s “body type representation” as a form of fetishism. Nothing really positive about it, especially since the character in question lacks any voice or agency of her own.

Not Lord Atkin
Guest
Not Lord Atkin

it’s still very rare to see female characters of her body type (or indeed any body type other than that of Lara Croft). The fact that it’s fetishised and turned into a sexualized object (in fact it would appear she’s barely a character at all) is a different matter.

CaitSeith
Guest
CaitSeith

I don’t know. I like to imagine the plot as “sex-bot becomes self-aware at mid-assembly and it’s trying to escape from the factory”.

Stormbringer
Guest

In reality there’s nothing objectionable here. It’s not so different from Metroid. And if the premise is there’s a sexbot factory; that’s a thing that can exist, and if anything the player-character is emancipating themselves.

pmcdirewolf
Guest
pmcdirewolf

Ok, multiple people, developer included, have said this now and it makes zero sense.

There is literally no Metroid game, from NES to Super to Prime to Other M, that is *anything* like this game.

If anything, it’s closer to OG Resident Evil or Tomb Raider, except that it’s not really any good.

Stormbringer
Guest

They’re referring to the body shape and scenario. Doubtful anyone has actually played the game, because the commentators are more likely than not adults with lives.

pmcdirewolf
Guest
pmcdirewolf

“They” are full of shit regardless of the application, because not only are the games not similar in any way, Samus has never looked anything like that, even with her suit off.

You don’t have to have played either to see this. It’s plainly obvious.

Weaver2
Guest
Weaver2

The game doesn’t really look like it’s for me *shrug*.

I don’t really get what the point of this article was except to point and laugh at people who like a game because they find the main character sexy. If that does it for them then so be it – they’re being honest in their reviews so I don’t see the problem.

Wolfie
Guest
Wolfie

This isn’t really pointing and laughing. This is being pleasantly amused.

RaikuNH
Guest
RaikuNH

I saw it more as “humans forgot how to spell thick”

Jan Smejkal
Guest
Jan Smejkal

I don’t know, Jim.
Steamspy says it has around 1000 owners, and it is not in trending lists neither there nor on Steam. Maybe don’t make this shit bigger than it actually is.
We should wait 1-2 more days for Steamspy to have more accurate data, I know, but it sure
as hell won’t suddenly jump up to tens of thousands of sold copies. Unless outrage reporting will help to advert this crap.

Elfranco
Guest
Elfranco

You can always tell when a game really gets under Jim’s skin. Cheers to the developers for making that happen.

Otherhand
Guest
Otherhand

Did you read the whole thing? He’s not bothered about it at all.

RaikuNH
Guest
RaikuNH

He likes the game…

George
Guest
George

That’s called, “docking”

Charlie
Guest

Yet another game that conflates “hard” and “obtuse.” If a game is hard, playing well and overcoming challenges should result in success (see: Dark Souls, Ori and the Blind Forest, Ninja Gaiden). This game just refuses to tell you anything, has a control scheme from the late 90’s, and instakills you repeatedly so that you’re forced to backtrack from a savepoint.

Yawn. If you can’t achieve more success in a game by improving at it mechanically, it’s not hard, it’s just obtuse. Boring.

maikeru
Guest
maikeru

Bingo, that’s the core issue with this game.

Jellybean
Guest
Jellybean

this game is the definition of artificial difficulty

Guy Harrington
Guest
Guy Harrington

hurray I love finding pornhub commenters on steam reviews

Daniel J. Grouse
Guest
Daniel J. Grouse

People are so desperate to prove to themselves and the internet how macho hard core gamer they are that they end up unable to distinguish between challenging gameplay and just plain bad game design.

MrInsecure
Guest
MrInsecure

Yeah, the way they describe it is like Dark Souls – difficult, but with an investment of time and effort, you can get through it. But what it really is is a shit game with artificial difficulty due to bad design and shitty controls, which is very much not the same thing.

Balls Mahoney
Guest
Balls Mahoney

Another difference is the souls games have visually distinct environments, not just a bunch of all-white rooms and corridors.

pioshfd
Guest
pioshfd

Just from reading the first couple of reviews, I wouldn’t have been surprised if they were for a Newgrounds game.

Milestone_RP
Guest
Milestone_RP

Yet there’s no “5/5 my laptop is full of cum”.

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