The Bullshit Roundup: Battlefield 1 and Deus Ex Get Microtransactions, Watch Dogs 2 Spams Us With Special Editions

Time for more stinking bullshit, delivered to you on an unwashed platter full of sick and blood. We’re here once more to bang on about the same old crap the “AAA” industry shoves down our throat, because lordy knows few other places bother.

On today’s edition of Bullshit Roundup, we’ve got two more cases of microtransactions announced for unreleased premium games, and Ubisoft is at it again with another ludicrous selection of collector’s editions for Watch Dogs 2.

01

Enjoy World War 1 The Way It Was Meant To Be – With Microtransactions!

Despite earning plenty of customer goodwill and excitement with the most liked YouTube trailer of all timeBattlefield 1 has gotten some dismal news this past week. Electronic Arts, unable to let any bit of credibility go unsullied, has revealed the next Battlefield shall be a fee-to-pay experience, adding microtransactions on top of the $60 package.

Unlike with Overwatch, EA doesn’t even have the excuse that said microtransactions are paying for future DLC because the publisher also intends to sell map packs alongside the freemium-style content. Hooray!

CEO Andrew Wilson had an amazing slew of complete and total bollocks to vomit up as he detailed the game’s “monetization opportunities,” serving an insult to our intellects as well as our wallets.

Here’s what he had to say on the matter.

“Given that in Battlefield 1, you will see both macro monetization opportunities from us like maps and large scale content, as well as micro monetization opportunities, smaller increments of gameplay, and then over time, what you will see from us is elements of gameplay that allow gamers to engage and drive, and extend and enhance their experience, much the way people do with FIFA Ultimate Team or Madden Ultimate Team today.

“We feel very confident in our ability to deliver that in a way that is deemed valuable by our player, and drives increased engagement over time with them.”

House also trotted out some more familiar lies, claiming the monetization was all about offering “choice” to players and “enhancing and extending their experience.”

You can put a handful of shit in a lace bodystocking, Mr. House, but it’s still shit – and you ruined a perfectly good bit of lingerie in the process.

As microtransactions become more accepted by customers through sheer force of commonality, it’s interesting to see the weasely way in which executives are now describing them. The post-launch nickel-and-diming has become “value through choice” while traditional DLC is now a “macrotransaction” as if it had always stood hand-in-hand with its micro cousin.

It’s creepy when you see how the language changes. By calling DLC macrotransactions, it appears as if microtransactions are perfectly normal and have been with us forever. Because Electronic Arts has always been at war with Eurasia, and fee-to-pay games offer flexible value to loyal consumers.

02

Deus Ex: Mankind Divided Hopes To Divide You And Your Dollars

Joining Battlefield 1 in the freemium-chomping money grubbing is Deus Ex: Mankind Divided, a game in a series that has the overextension of corporations as an ironic central theme.

Mankind Divided‘s microtransactions are delivered via a new online challenge mode, Breach. Like so many other “AAA” games that want to make more money but can’t be fucked thinking of anything inventive, the latest Deus Ex will offer cards that provide various boosts and modifiers to Breach players.

Card packs will be available for purchase, because card packs are basically this industry’s paint-by-numbers way of suckering people out of extra cash.

Unsurprisingly, this news was accompanied by apologia from a spokesperson who peddled familiar dishonest assertions that, although they’re selling you something, the game makers really don’t want you to buy it!

“It’s going to be light, because we want players to be able to go through the game without spending any money,” fibbed producer Fleur Marty. “There’ll be booster packs you can buy with real money, that’ll allow you to better the odds, and some cosmetic ones too.”

As I’ve done so many times on The Jimquisition, I’ll remind you that any producer claiming they care about making sure you don’t spend money is talking total shite. Microtransactions wouldn’t be there if the company didn’t want to sell them to as many people as possible, preferably everybody.

Some publishers are better about it than others, that much is true, but each one will still try and tempt you somehow. It’ll range from minor seduction to blatant psychological hammering, but in no way should it be cool that a company is doing it in any form after selling you a $60 game.

You PAID already. It’s fucked that companies have the nerve to consistently pester you for more after that.

They don’t “want players to be able to go through the game without spending any money.” That’s not what they want at all. They want to obscure and tweak their systems just enough to be able to say they want that. They want it to technically be true, but they sure as shit are thirsty for that money, and they do try to get it from you.

You know, I’m close to offering a challenge where I’ll buy $100 worth of microtransactions for any “AAA” fee-to-pay game where a developer straight up admits, “We’re greedy and want more money, that’s why they’re there.”

I may do that in some grand enough situation.

03

Watch Dogs 2 Unveils Its Special Edition Carpet Bomb Plans

The multiple releases and exclusive pre-order deals for Watch Dogs were so utterly ridiculous we famously needed an extensive chart to work out what content could be obtained from where.

Because Ubisoft has all the restraint of a toddler with particularly uninterested parents, Watch Dogs 2 has had FIVE special editions revealed in the same week as the game’s announcement!

Some of the editions are available only from Uplay because Ubisoft still wants that total waste of everybody’s time to be a thing.

Here are the editions listed, which I’ve copied and pasted from GameSpot because I sure as shit can’t be arsed to type it all out:

  • Deluxe Edition ($69.99): The base game, plus two “Deluxe Packs” with in-game “premium” customization items for your character, weapons, vehicles, and drones.
  • Gold Edition ($99.99): The Deluxe Edition plus a Season Pass for future DLC missions and gear.
  • San Francisco Edition: The Deluxe Edition plus a Collector’s Box; a figurine of the game’s protagonist, Marcus; San Francisco-themed laptop stickers; lithographs; a San Francisco map.
  • Wrench Junior Robot Collector’s Pack (Uplay Store Exclusive): Either the standard game, the Deluxe Edition, or the Gold Edition, plus a 7.8 inch replica of an in-game robot controllable by an iPhone or Android app.
  • Return of DedSec Collector’s Box (Uplay Store Exclusive): The Gold Edition of the game plus real-world DedSec items, the Marcus figurine, Marcus’s scarf and hat, and an art book.

Naturally, there’s a pre-order bonus as well, offering players the chance to get the Zodiac Killer in-game mission with every version purchased ahead of launch.

As with the original game, it’s a confusing mess of tat that annoys me every time I look at it listed out. Total market overkill, created using a logic I’ll never understand with a normal human brain. The whole thing just looks like complete fucking anarchy to me and yet, somehow, it must work. It must make Ubisoft loads of money.

I suppose if you can just dazzle your audience so much they’ll buy anything in a disoriented haze, you may as well go for it.

I actually liked the first Watch Dogs, but fuck me if basically everything Ubisoft did around the game didn’t make me want to hate every single facet of the fucking thing.

This bullshit isn’t off to a good start with me.

Leon the Brave
Guest
Leon the Brave

Oooooooohh, grrrrreeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaat — EA just had to be tempted to do the same shit they always do.

I was thrilled for the new Battlefield 1, but NOT ANYMORE! I mean, it just renders the “CoD vs. BF” thing kinda moot now, doesn’t it? I bet everybody feels stupid afterwords for hitting that thumbs up button; I certainly did.

EA… you had one job. (>ლ)

Overlord Aeldarian
Guest
Overlord Aeldarian

That picture…What about Konami?

Leon the Brave
Guest
Leon the Brave

What about Konami?

Felipe Santos
Guest
Felipe Santos

Thing is, Konami is barely a video game company now. Guess you can’t fail at something if you just cut yourself off from it.

ATBro
Guest
ATBro

pff

Alex Wheatley
Guest
Alex Wheatley

Whelp, there’s two more games that won’t be on Jim’s GOTY list…

Captain Pipsqueak
Guest
Captain Pipsqueak

This is why I pirate games. That and the fact that I enjoy waving my dick in others’ faces.

Gizensha
Guest
Gizensha

…He’s… He’s using the buzzwords he’d use to sell shareholders on microtransactions and DLC as if the paying money to EA is a marketable gameplay feature. You’re… You’re not meant to use the term ‘moneterization opportunity’ to your consumer base; that’s how you sell your business model to people who you’re trying to get to invest in you, not how you convince people to buy the product you’re selling…

…Dear lord…

BAH!
Guest
BAH!

Now I want him to make that same announcement at, like, E3 or something. Just to see what happens.

Something “witty” here
Guest
Something “witty” here

I don’t think that the security is paid enough to deal with what would happen…

Gervasius
Guest
Gervasius

Like, I totally expected there to be microtransactions in Battlefield 1, but… What the F was that incredibly shady language programming he used?!

boguspeople
Guest
boguspeople
Im having an issue with Jim’s crusade on microtransactions, as he ignores how successful games tend only to increase amount of content that is already included in a 60$ pack. Which is a direct result of companies being able to charge premium from those who can afford it. Where does this entitled attitude come from? When you consider inflation, games are getting cheaper every year, while development costs are constantly increasing. 15 years ago nobody would even imagine a 60$ title could provide as much value as some do today. Remember average shooters from early 2000s, when you payed 60$… Read more »
Fallen Prime
Guest
Fallen Prime

Or, y’know, if they spend less to make games, they won’t get fucked on profit and “have to” be anti-consumer.

qorl123
Guest
qorl123

Because bigger budget = more enjoyment for us, rite? /s “15 years ago nobody would even imagine a 60$ title could provide as much value as some do today” Uhh, bullshit. If you’ve been playing games for more than 15 years you know this is plainly not true. “Where does this entitled attitude come form” The entitled attitude of companies you mean. Also, keep in mind Jim is mostly okay with proper expansion-sized dlc.

Benj
Guest
Benj

It’s not a tax on rich people. It’s a tax on people who are easy to manipulate, aren’t good at managing their money and have a strong emotional investment in an escapist hobby. Basically it’s a tax on poor people.

boguspeople
Guest
boguspeople

It’s a sad situation, and i really feel bad for those people.

RioSine
Guest
RioSine

Seems like they are escaping the wrong way.

boguspeople
Guest
boguspeople

To have a strong emotional investement in something as souless and pandering as EA games is… Sad

RioSine
Guest
RioSine

I could actually understand if someone has an emotional investment for some of their olders games like Sims 1 and 2. but those are exeptions to the crap they been spawning systematically.

Also there is nothing intrinsically wrong to attaching emotions to objects. This is one of the nice overlooked features of Materialism, (that also seem to be confused with consumerism that belong to the economic nonsense) and its the reason why museums do exists.

Even Luck
Guest
Even Luck

I haven’t seen a single AAA game that benefited from microtransactions on both sides, nor have I seen a single good use of microtransactions in any AAA $60 game in general.

It’s a waste of money.

boguspeople
Guest
boguspeople

Well, you have to be involved into every AAA title development there was, as there is not other way you can have inside information on how exactly future micropayments affect development funding.

Aside from that, it is a waste of money. But instead of trying to make big greedy publishers feel sorry for being, well, big greedy publishers, we should rather repeat again and again, that most DLC stuff if garbage, and you barely gain anything, by paying extra, so don’t, untill you really have a lot of cash to waste.

Jeremy Comans
Guest
Jeremy Comans

I would take cosmetic microtransactions over post-launch paid DLC for a multiplayer game any day. One is optional, and the gating of cosmetics doesn’t remotely bother me. The other is a mandatory extra payment if you don’t want to split the player base.

boguspeople
Guest
boguspeople

Like Overwatch?

As much as i don’t like when people are triggered by microtransactions presence by itself, this game is evil as fuck, not only building its loot system in a way, that severely limits your customization options, making spending real money far more tempting, than even in Call Of Duty series, but also having a nerve to charge 60$ for bare bones of a game!

Jeremy Comans
Guest
Jeremy Comans

Overwatch isn’t bare bones at all. The depth and content are the heroes, and there are plenty of them. But our differing perceptions of value there aren’t quite the point. Beautifying the characters doesn’t mean much to me, so I’d much rather everyone who paid for the game getting all the actual game content for free, which they will. I can’t see how that is worse than COD expecting you to pay an extra $50 or so over the year to get post-launch content?

boguspeople
Guest
boguspeople

Black Ops 3 for 60$ provided: a single player campaign, a cooperative mode, a split-screen mode, a ton of multiplayer modes, and a zombie defence mode, which could be played both solo and cooperatively.

After spending 15 hours in overwatch i was completely sick of the same maps, modes and game situations, repeating over and over.

Jeremy Comans
Guest
Jeremy Comans

Which is fair enough. The games offer fundamentally different experiences. Learning the best synergies and counters for each part of each map at different times really works for me. And for the entry fee I get everything Bliz does to support the game for many years to come. Monetizing cosmetics I think is a better way to do that than paid content updates (or of course, gameplay enhancing microtransactions, which I would not abide).

ATBro
Guest
ATBro

You’re not paying to not split the playerbase. The playerbase is going to be split anyway you look at it. Paying or not only dictates what side of the fence you end up on.

Jeremy Comans
Guest
Jeremy Comans

And no split if it’s all free, which is why cosmetic micro-t is better.

Powermad80
Guest
Powermad80

I’d prefer purely cosmetic micropayments for online multiplayer focused games, and for single player focused games content expansion packs should reign supreme

Stephan
Guest
Stephan

That frog looks like bacon gone bad and he still isn’t screaming…

Or you’re a new frog that just jumped into the pot

boguspeople
Guest
boguspeople

Is this memes?

*google search*

Apparently yes. A frog, wrapped in bacon. Wow.

Stephan
Guest
Stephan

No, uh… actually its reference. If you put a frog in boiling water it’ll immediately jump out.

But put a frog in water and then slowly boil it, it’ll stay in the water without realizing the change in temperature and die

Stormbringer
Guest
While I think this is realistic, this medium: interactive 3-D, is still very var from relevance. It raises lots of money, more than Hollywood I think, because it has very many addictive personalities that are essentially these companies’ bitches. But it has very little, to no, cultural cache, and people do not take it very seriously, and it doesn’t have mainstream appeal, especially outside of aping Hollywood’s spectacle building blockbusters. So it’s a boneheaded direction to go in. These games are not objectively better, as works of art, or more entertaining, or more valuable, or more likely to still exist… Read more »
boguspeople
Guest
boguspeople

Untill Undertale happened, my most beloved game was of late 90s.

ATBro
Guest
ATBro

And from your completely anecdotal story, absolutely no conclusions about the industry can be drawn.

Jallen
Guest
Jallen
Blissfully ignoring that the user base has increase ten-fold to render such arguments as moot. It’s not like these people have a finite amount of code to dish out either. I mean playing the poor card is rather falling into the devs hands as they spend extravagant prices for A list Hollywood actors, pushing for graphical brilliance unnecessarily while attempting to nickle and dime you for a skin pack that took 1min to create on a colour slider. But yeah, if a dev thinks their game is worth $80 then by all means let them sell that game at $80.… Read more »
ATBro
Guest
ATBro

The fuck are you talking about? What makes you think that the audience has increased ten fold?

Gaealiege
Guest
Gaealiege

You’re kidding, right? You can simply look at console units sold or look at the fad game units sold (COD). No game sold 13 million units in a single year previous to the last two generations.

What the fuck are YOU talking about?

ATBro
Guest
ATBro

Yeah, CoD, Assassin’s Creed, GTA. Those games sell more copies than games did two generations. But that’s it. Today, if a game sells more than 6 million it’s an outlier. Those kinds of numbers are not something anyone can bank on. That’s why publishers spent so much time lamenting the fact that their game’s sales were disappointing all last generation. They were always chasing CoD, forgetting that games generally don’t sell like that.

Jallen
Guest
Jallen

Well Battlefield 1942 sold around 2.5 million copies, Battlefield 3 sold 15 million, Battlefield 4 13.8 million.

Admittedly not ten fold, perhaps I was being a bit hyperbolic, but the point is the audience has grown and is no longer limited to physical copies creating potentially unlimited sales.

Benj
Guest
Benj

World War 1 microtransactions. Pay 10,000 young lives to gain 3 square miles of muddy french field.

Gervasius
Guest
Gervasius

Has anyone ever told you you’re amazing?

Benj
Guest
Benj

Yes but not as often as they should be 🙂

Gizensha
Guest
Gizensha

Beautiful post is beautiful.

Jim Sterling
Guest

Post of the year.

Benj
Guest
Benj

Oh gosh!

Robert Cisneros
Guest
Robert Cisneros

imma leave this here as well as e3 roundup u do but… ummm please review Beserk when it comes outits a dynasty warriors type game if tht helps

The Jünger Ludendorf
Guest
The Jünger Ludendorf

10,000 lives? That’s unfortunately quite cheap for that area of the war.

Unless someone else pays another 10,000 promising young lives for the “Counterstrike” DLC and takes your 3 square miles right back, like some kind of horrific auctioning of mud, corpses and shattered hopes, dreams and minds.

Otaku World Order
Guest
Otaku World Order

Hey, I already paid an Archduke just to play this game, dammit!

Fallen Prime
Guest
Fallen Prime

IT BEGINS.

Jason
Guest
Jason

Get 500 kills to unlock the Luger on your US characters (or pay $1 for fast unlock)!

BAH!
Guest
BAH!

Only $1? That’s awfully generous.

Jim Digby
Guest
Jim Digby

Oh, look at that; my Deus Ex transaction just went from special edition pre-order to me buying it used.

TaraMayB
Guest
TaraMayB

And lest we forget this isn’t the first bout of shenanigans that Square Enix has pulled with Human Defiance, since they already did the whole “Augment your pre-order” bit (though yes they did backtrack on that one).

Anon the mouse
Guest
Anon the mouse

You pay real money for a random “prize”, with no idea of what you are going to win. How is this different from gambling?

Other than “proper” gambling games have to show you the chance of winning each prize.

Gizensha
Guest
Gizensha

Legally speaking? Likely a similar way to how Pachinko machines aren’t gambling, and neither are arcade machines that reward tickets.

That is, because none of the three give you cash, but instead mystery in game items (Think a booster in Magic the Gathering… Which still gives you the odds of getting cards of each rarity on the packaging!), or tokens that you can then change for a prize either in store (arcade tickets) or at the store that’s coincidentally located just next door (Pachinko)

HelixShade
Guest
HelixShade

“Deus Ex: Mankind Divided Hopes To Divide You And Your Dollars”

And to think I was actually looking forwards to the Breach gameplay mode…

Dan Allen
Guest
Dan Allen

Wow, can’t wait to fight ted cruz!

Dominik Kensy
Guest
Dominik Kensy

Is that the iconic Wrench Jr. Robot I see? Amazing, nay, iconic!

Vinnie Vincent's Dead Dog
Guest
Vinnie Vincent's Dead Dog

I just can’t be bothered with the AAA game industry anymore. Micro-transactions, bullshit pre-order culture and a general feeling of complete apathy from most consumers. It’s never going to change.

BAH!
Guest
BAH!

Why would you care anyway? You’re a dog.

SilentPony
Guest
SilentPony

What happened to us? When did we accept extra levels and character skins and bonus modes were something we had to pay for instead of just unlocking?

Do you know how hard I worked to get all the cheats in GoldenEye?! HARD!
Kids these days don’t even know the accomplishment one feels by entering a cheat code correctly, or actually unlocking something.

Vinnie Vincent's Dead Dog
Guest
Vinnie Vincent's Dead Dog

I think the issue is that kids see this stuff as completely normal. Normalising it because they don’t know any better.

StoneBasilisk
Guest
StoneBasilisk
It’s not as if it happened overnight – This was a gradual process built on small changes, not unlike the stereotypical backstory of a hyper-abusive totalitarian government seizing control in any number of dystopian stories you’d care to name. Ten years ago, if they released one of these wallet-raping games, people would’ve been rightfully outraged. Jim’s pointed this one out before – It’s regarded with apathy today because, by now, it’s the norm. We’re *used* to to being treated like sheep by the AAA Industry, and their preferred marks will happily rationalize it by saying “It’s not like I HAVE… Read more »
Doom Video Vault
Guest

It’s because idiots continue to feed the companies money.

Stormbringer
Guest

You’re all addicted and have nothing better to do, clearly.

qorl123
Guest
qorl123

Really? I got all the cheats for goldeneye from a gaming magazine

Sapphire Crook
Guest
Sapphire Crook

Last sunday, but in my defence, they were all SUPER drunk.

TheCaardvark
Guest

But are Marcus’ scarf and hat…
…ICONIC?

James Robert Thompson
Guest
James Robert Thompson

I thought I was ready to be dissapointed by Battlefield 1, it was so obvious… and yet here I am sad about the death of my interest in a World War 1 shooter…

StoneBasilisk
Guest
StoneBasilisk

Because you rather foolishly allowed yourself to drink that most terrible of poisons.

Hope.

Hope that maybe this WASN’T going to be just another money-grubbing shitshow, and that maybe it was going to be worthwhile game?

Doom Video Vault
Guest

What about Verdun?

James Robert Thompson
Guest
James Robert Thompson

I love Verdun. Just because I’m disappointed in one WW1 shooter doesn’t mean I’m disappointed in all of them.

Doom Video Vault
Guest

Speaking of Verdun, how is it in terms of gameplay?

Mike Wallace
Guest
Mike Wallace

CEO Andrew Wilson spews so much bullshit that his buzzwords hang over him in clouds.

PowerSerg
Guest

I honestly feel like triple A multiplayer is at Deaths door. Like make Free To Play games if you really want to. I can’t imagine consumers will keep putting up with this shit.

CaitSeith
Guest
CaitSeith

I can imagine. Just look at TotalBiscuit.

Jon Luqman
Guest
Jon Luqman

i never asked for this

StoneBasilisk
Guest
StoneBasilisk

But you didn’t NOT ask for it, either.

KristofferMartinsen
Guest
KristofferMartinsen

I look forward to the day when this comes and bites them in the ass. Because it will and it will bite hard

StoneBasilisk
Guest
StoneBasilisk

And then the door will be opened for a new generation of AAA creators, which will start humble but eventually grow into decrepit giants themselves. And then they themselves will collapse under their own weight and be supplanted.

It’s happened before, and it will likely continue to happen for the entirety of videogame history.

goodbyejojo
Guest
goodbyejojo

whats the point in AAA 60$ games anymore? they might as well be F2P games

Stormbringer
Guest

It’s because the companies believe they are subsidizing games that are more rightly valued at $200 off the shelf, or something like this. (Such games as these probably shouldn’t even exist in the first place.)

Seddon4494
Guest

If the allies had been able to buy terrain in increments of 1km for £1 it’d have been a much shorter war.

The Jünger Ludendorf
Guest
The Jünger Ludendorf

Instead they bought it for the absolute rip-off price of 100,000 lives/km.
And then they lost it all to a sleazy used-land salesman and a gang of thugs 20 years later.

Even Luck
Guest
Even Luck

Fuck EA, fuck Ubisoft, fuck SE, fuck microtransactions in $60 games forever, fuck those greedy twitheads, fuck the shitheads who buy into their logic, fuck video games as a business, fuck video games in general, fuck me, as well ($20 a shag), fuck my keyboard, fuck my computer, fuck the internet,

fuck

life…….

So, who’s ready for E3 this year?

boguspeople
Guest
boguspeople

If someone asks me to define internet, i would refer to your comment.

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