The Game Awards 2014 happen tonight, and I’ll live blog the thing from here!

The Game Awards are happening tonight, and as corporations dribble all over each other and promote the refreshing taste of Mountain Dew, your ol’ pal Jim Sterling will be watching the chicanery live! I’ll be posting my thoughts here for your filthy pleasures, so sit back and enjoy the exclusive trailer delivery vehicle through my own delightful lens!

Seriously, it’s either this or me just wanking myself silly all night.

The Game Awards in association the games industry starts tonight at 9pm EST. Join me, for God’s sake!

Josh Frisby
Guest
Josh Frisby

Captain Toad’s acceptance speech for the award for most dicks gripped by a video game protagonist disrupted by renegade djin. 5 dead, 18 injured, 3 missing. Ubisoft CEO Yves Guillemot leaves sheepishly. #djingate

TheeHeadAche
Guest
TheeHeadAche

Bethesda shows up with nothing to announce. Just needed to get out of the studio for a bit..

Steve Gattuso
Guest
Steve Gattuso

(Press F to applaud when Call of Duty wins an award.)

Jared Niemeyer
Guest
Jared Niemeyer

Oh shit wait the VGA’s are happening??? Those are still a thing??? I know spike pulled out of it (thank god and Jim for that one) so my question is, what channel is this corporate sponsored wank fest happening on? Or has Geoff pulled the plug on cable too?

Steve Gattuso
Guest
Steve Gattuso

There’s a bunch of streams that will be available, according to their webpage: http://thegameawards.com/watch-live/

If Jim can grab one of those feeds for us to watch here, that would be ideal. If not this year, maybe the next.

Josh Frisby
Guest
Josh Frisby

Microsoft’s announcement that new Kinect system will turn video games into snakes poorly received. Executives seem baffled as to why.

Edwin Jackson
Guest
Edwin Jackson

I know right? After they staged the announcement mid-flight on a plane and paid Samuel L Jackson to host.

Butz
Guest
Butz

I can’t believe the VGX show was only a year ago. For some reason it feels like it was many years ago to me. Perhaps this is what it feels like to repress a terrible memory of being molested at summer camp.

rodge
Guest
rodge

jared leto deserves to win the award

Josh Frisby
Guest
Josh Frisby

EA declares war on bees. Motives unexplained.

Edwin Jackson
Guest
Edwin Jackson

I heard it was a honey trap

Stayin' Frosty
Guest
Stayin' Frosty

Question for the press Jim Sterling, is this live broadcast sponsored by Doritos and mt dew?

Edwin Jackson
Guest
Edwin Jackson

Question is will Ubisoft get the Crewcial votes to win best game

Craig the Intern
Guest
Craig the Intern

Come ’round all ye faithful and join in the triumphant as we quietly mock a pretentious self-congratulatory display of asinine ego-stroking. No, not the Oscars, just The Game Awards. I’ve got my six-pack of delicious Turkish ripoff sensation Dr. Stepper and the soupy crunch of Uncle Hick’s Beef n’ Barley Flavored Pork Rinds, because I am a filthy casual gamer and do not deserve to bask in the glory that is Mountain Dewrito.

Bring on the award for Most Like Call of Duty! I highly anticipate The Slaughtering Grounds to winning Best Meltdown of the Year. Have some, won’t you?

Stayin' Frosty
Guest
Stayin' Frosty

This speech was brought to you by Doritos, mt dew, and Doritos flavored mt dew.

Mister Bork
Guest
Mister Bork

Hey Craig! Fuck off!

Josh Frisby
Guest
Josh Frisby

Carmen Sandiego appears. Steals entire team of Sony executives. Crowd learns geography.

Josh K
Guest
Josh K

Dew you have any favorite game to win GOTY Jim?

Josh Frisby
Guest
Josh Frisby

Entire venue spontaneously burns to ground. Used game sales blamed.

Jenny8675309
Guest
Jenny8675309

Is it just me or does it seem like a conflict of interest to have nominated games from members of the advisory board?

I hope Ubisoft wins developer of the year. The irony is too delicious to pass up!

Zoinker
Guest
Zoinker

I unironically believe a PotDW reboot would be pretty rad.

Josh Frisby
Guest
Josh Frisby

Former Microsoft chief executive Steve Ballmer hijacks broadcast during VGAs, announces challenge to Batman.

Sharkey
Guest
Sharkey

As long as this happens at the NBA All Star Weekend I am 100% behind Steve

BladedFalcon
Guest
BladedFalcon

Lovely! I’ll definitely be checking it out!

My prediction? Kranky Kong DLC for Mario Kart 8 everybody!

Drake Sigar
Guest

In a surprise twist, Jim Sterling wins this year’s Trending Gamer category despite not being nominated. John Bain dresses Jesse Cox up in a black trenchcoat and rosy glasses, then punches him really hard on the belly button.

Sam Maxwell
Guest
Sam Maxwell

Ubisoft Montreal are up for developer of the year? Wat.

corp. sheep
Guest
corp. sheep

They deserved it man.

Steve Gattuso
Guest
Steve Gattuso

Mainly for “Valiant Hearts” and “Far Cry 4.”

Raven
Guest
Raven

“Valiant Hearts” was developed by Ubisoft Montpellier.

Ubisoft Montreal was responsible for “Assassin’s Creed Unity”, “Watch_Dogs”, “Far Cry 4”, “Assassins Creed Rogue” and “Child of Light”.

I’m of the opinion Nintendo should be named developer of the year.

Josh Frisby
Guest
Josh Frisby

Ubisoft’s Laurent Detoc removes own spine, folds his torso between his legs, screams up own arsehole. Awards forgotten.

errormaker
Guest
errormaker

FUCKING FLIES

Sylocat
Guest

“Twisting” in what way?

Sweet Roy the Candy Boy
Guest
Sweet Roy the Candy Boy

Every which way.

Josh Frisby
Guest
Josh Frisby

Reggie Fils-Aimé releases scorpions into audience. Refuses to comment on decision. Crowd baffled.

Andrew Street
Guest
Andrew Street

So no hope the Video Game awards might be a little better this year, Jim?

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