The Jimquisition: A Tale Of Casinos And SEO Juice

http://www.patreon.com/jimquisition
http://sharkrobot.com/collections/jimquisition-merch

How exactly do less scrupulous blogs get deals with casino websites to lace their articles with unsubtle advertisements?

Who is pulling the strings, what sort of money changes hands, and what exactly are Casinos looking for when they ask for “SEO Juice?”

The Jimquisition went deep to blow this mother.

Bonus Content: Life Haxz with Jim Sterling

darksteel6
Guest
darksteel6

I’d recommend donating to the Center for Transgender Equality.

AyeChonk
Guest
AyeChonk

Love the sonic background music

Appretaur
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Appretaur

I guess Brash Games and other outlets that accept deals to write inane articles for the purposes of holding masked links to gambling sites can still take pride over having more relative integrity than Digital Homicide at least. According to darklordjadow1’s last DigiHom recap, their (now-replaced) .ninja site was basically just a wall of ads and a bunch of link buttons purporting to link to their bundle giveaways but really doing nothing more than reloading the page and all of its ads, making the entire site nothing more than a ploy to desperately milk as much ad revenue as possible.

Benj
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Benj

Why do people trust casino slots to not be rigged? Or any slots for that matter.

Loona Chan
Guest
Loona Chan

It’s actually a good question, the simple answer is because winning makes you high, and being high makes you ignore common sense. The more complicated answer is… well, go ahead and look up the scores of psychology literature examining gambling.

George
Guest
George

That’s a really interesting hypothesis. I don’t like to gamble. I have friends that go to the Casinos but I can’t stand them it’s like I have no control and virtually nothing I do in the “game” matters.

Chris Schwartz-Brown
Guest
Chris Schwartz-Brown
Well it depends on where you are. If you’re in Nevada there’s actually a really rigorous government process to ensure that any machine being installed in a casino is ‘fair’ in the sense that it can pay out at the odds it’s programmed to. A friend of mine worked at a company programming video poker and they had to submit every single change or adjustment they made to their machine and it took up to a week each time to get reapproved. If you’re online you have absolutely no guarantees which is why online gambling sites are so scummy and… Read more »
Nathan Aldana
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Nathan Aldana

because as the old lottery maxim goes “somebody’s gotta win”

Thats not necessarily true, but its what drives compulsive gamblers and what less scrupulous gambing outfits that arent regulated count on

CaitSeith
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CaitSeith

On real slots: rigorous government regulations. Online? There is a sucker born every minute.

George
Guest
George

In places where it’s legal and regulated the slots have to pay out a certain number of times or rather the algorithm governing them must pay out. If they are not the casino could be fined millions and or lose it’s licence, making it impossible to do business.

Benj
Guest
Benj

That’s good. I kind of assumed their must be something like that governing slot machines since you’re basically feeding money into a mystery box.

Do you know if there’s any regulation that touches web casinos? Or are we in “the internet is Deadwood” teriitory here?

Appretaur
Guest
Appretaur

I remember during Totalbiscuit’s total bitch-slap of the CS:GO Lotto situation last year that he was ranting about how those types of people were reprehensible for not disclosing basic shit and for not attempting to get “real sponsors.” So I think Jim’s outro is really topical and that his future JQ stuff about the necessities of sponsorship and how it could be described as “on-the-level” will be really important to lay out there.

darksteel6
Guest
darksteel6

Yes, I hope Jim rails on the Escapist for their galling and utterly shameless Clash of Kings sponsorship. No wonder that site has lost so many viewers(firing people like Moviebob for no good reason didn’t help either)

Appretaur
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Appretaur

Sounds like he escaped from the Escapist. The same way he would leave Destructoid to its destruction (though that assumes there was anything similarly galling that they ever did in their history – I wouldn’t know…).

darksteel6
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darksteel6

I hear Destructoid has a lot of affiliate links, with G2A possibly being one of them.

Calvin Bailey
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Calvin Bailey

They recently ran stories on the Gearbox/G2A bullshit, so if so it hasn’t stopped them from criticizing G2A.

Wolfie
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Wolfie

They also became a stronghold for a certain group of people who say certain words with full seriousness and have strongly opinionated distastes for certain very specific individuals.

From what I’ve heard since I was banned, the place is up dire straits.

Edit: If this looks like a repost, the first comment went into moderation, so I doubt it’ll get through.

Appretaur
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Appretaur

Hot damn. Well, that works for my wordplay at least…

Nathan Aldana
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Nathan Aldana

they also fired the UK team with almost no ceremony despite Laura, joe, and vicki being some of the better journalists on staff.

darksteel6
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darksteel6

You mean Nintendo fanboys like LordTerminal?

Wolfie
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Wolfie

No? I meant Gamergate. Unless that was a joke, then sorry, didn’t pick up on it.

darksteel6
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darksteel6

No, that’s the name of a person on the Escapist forums who’s always bitching whenever anyone like Yahtzee dares to criticize Nintendo.

Wolfie
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Wolfie

I see. I haven’t been back there, well, must be maybe two years now? Something like that.

Tony Russo
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Tony Russo

It’s a damn shame. The Escapist lost more great people than most outlets ever had.

qorl123
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qorl123

One of the chief editor(is that the word?) was one of them wasnt he.

Wolfie
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Wolfie
Not sure who specifically, but people in charge of the site seemed to be quite sympathetic, yeah. They would often get in trouble with warnings and bans, and then turn to someone above the mods to have all that, if not lifted, then reduced. Meanwhile, those of us who were in active opposition were often shafted. We’d do things much less inflammatory but still be punished, even when the person we might be responding to, right above our comment, was far more inappropriate. But, just ignored! They actually wanted our entire group banned because we were having some fun messing… Read more »
MJC
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MJC

Maybe it was because Moviebob was trash. I gave up on that guy when he mocked gamers who wanted the OPTION to skip tutorials in games because how dare they be so selfish to want tutorials taken away from new players who need them!

Apparently Moviebob has no fucking clue what the word “option” means.

darksteel6
Guest
darksteel6
He was not “trash” at all IMO, he’s a great film critic even if I sometimes disagree with him(Haven’t seen much of his gaming stuff so can’t really comment on that, though he did do a good video criticizing Nintendo) That sounds like a bit of a narrow-minded reason to totally dismiss someone IMO You’re right about ZP though, that’s the only reason anyone visit the site anymore, cause people sure as shit aren’t going there to read the articles, people love to complain about the articles on sites like Polygon and Kotaku, but for me most of the Escapist… Read more »
Calvin Bailey
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Calvin Bailey

Lots of traffic on Youtube though, which I’m not sure if they would consider a good thing or a bad thing.

Andrzej Sugier
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Andrzej Sugier

Yeah, some of those articles are absolute drek. And there is so little content, they had a BotW walkthrough in multiple parts on the front page some time ago. Quality journalism.

As for ZP, I’ve heard that many people preffer to wait a week longer and watch it on youtube nowadays

darksteel6
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darksteel6

Probably because the Escapists video played is so shit, I had to try several different browsers before I finally got his Horizon Zero Dawn video to play.

Andrzej Sugier
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Andrzej Sugier

Yeah, I had problems with that one too after the “redesign”. They seem to have gotten back to the older version now, but for some time all that could play their videos was Internet Explorer

darksteel6
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darksteel6

Personally I watched Moviebob for Big Picture(and now In Bob We Trust), I particularly liked the big picture episode “Not OK” where he railed against sexist assholes in the gaming community.

Andrzej Sugier
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Andrzej Sugier

That’s the problem with following the creator too closely. I think his reviews and comic related material are really good. But his political view are way too tainted with a martyr complex, his video game related content was often poorly researched, and his original movies/skits… I don’t even want to talk about them.

Superbunnyhop had a nice video article on Youtube on the same topic, how much your knowledge of the creator should influence your opinion on the creation, centered around Phil Fish and Fez.

qorl123
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qorl123

I think he already did, but it was mostly just mockery

CountFunkula
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CountFunkula

Jim, I’d let you fire streams of blood-flecked semen into my eyes, but (this comes from a place of both love AND pedantry) friends don’t let friends say ‘hence why’ on t’internet.

pookie101
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pookie101

my suggestion would be a gambling addiction charity

Allan Weallans
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Allan Weallans
Mining some dark veins with that “nicking your dad’s credit card” bit, Jim. Too real. On-topic, I’m of a similar mind. I find advertorials and so on a little distasteful, but as long as it’s clearly disclosed as such, I don’t begrudge anyone using such an arrangement if that’s what they need to do to get funded. No-one’s forcing me to read/watch it, and if it funds independent content I do want to read/watch, then I really have no room to complain. My one concern is this: gaming is used to refer to playing video games; it is also used… Read more »
darksteel6
Guest
darksteel6

That’s not just the case with SEO though, it’s also the case with physical slot-machines, in my state(Illinois) there are many restaurants and bars which have slot machines in them and they are refered to as “video gaming” which i’ve found very confusing and nonsensical.

Top Floor
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Top Floor

I literally laughed out loud when I saw they put a whole $100 price tag on your or any other’s site’s integrity and credibility.

You’d have to be quite sad and desperate to so completely sell out, for so little.

Dallium
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Dallium

Hoping for Life Hacks. Was not disappoint.

EDIT: Oh it even says the bonus content is Life Haxz. I suck at reading.

goodbyejojo
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goodbyejojo

thank God for him.

kimiyoribaka
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kimiyoribaka
For charities the first that comes to my mind is the Red Cross. I don’t actually know much about them, but saving lives always seems like a noble cause to me. There’s also ones for helping the poor, such as Goodwill and the Salvation Army, but I don’t how they work regarding donations. In my area, there’s a church called St. Vincent de Paul that runs soup kitchens (which I only know about because I had the misfortune of needing their services at one point), but I don’t know how wide an organization they are. There’s hopefully someone running soup… Read more »
darksteel6
Guest
darksteel6

I wouldn’t donate to Goodwill or Salvation Army if I was you, the former is known for exploiting and severely underpaying it’s workers with mental disabilities(as someone with Asperger’s that really pisses me off, also related to that, PLEASE do NOT donate to Autism Speaks, they are an awful organization which do nothing to help people with Autism and actively make things worse by making Autism look like some sort of horrible disease, if you want to learn more watch the Mysterious Mr Enter’s video about them) and the latter has a history of Discriminating against LGBT people.

Joseph D. Mettle
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Joseph D. Mettle

I nominate the National Multiple Sclerosis Society for the charity donation, Jim.

Muddy Scarecrow
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Muddy Scarecrow

So….Barney has at least seen enough of your website to know you don’t do categories. Yet he somehow missed the folder marked “various toss” and the search bar labeled “root through my garbage.” If he has seen those he was probably thinking something like “What a charmingly off the wall fellow.”

MJC
Guest
MJC

Apparently you and Barney haven’t seen enough of the website to know Jim does do categories. It’s right there on the right side of the homepage:

CATEGORIES
Reviews
The Jimquisition
Podquisition
Editorials n’ Stuff
Various Toss (how did you see this, but not notice it was in a list of other categories that was titled categories?!)
The Spin-off Doctors

I mean, you have to be trying hard not to look at the site to think it doesn’t have categories.

Muddy Scarecrow
Guest
Muddy Scarecrow

Um….I obviously know that yes. I’ve frequented the site for several years. I think Barney means categories like game categories. Genres of games. I’m sorry if I gave the impression that I’m a special kind of idiot.

Shui Gor
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Shui Gor

Looking forward to non-recycled footage of the Cornflake Homunculus, Jim.

Landy Alexander
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Landy Alexander

Honestly I just hope he has some backup when he does it. I don’t want jim to suffocate in a bag of cornflakes.

Kev' Bryant
Guest
Kev' Bryant

I would stunt double for Jim, for free!

Uldi
Guest
Uldi

~insert David Carradine joke here~

RSL
Guest
RSL

Oh great, online gambling and apps. For the modern person, who wants to abdentmindedly waste a buck or two their daily commute and then wonder where all their money went.
I’ll stick to the casino on Forfeit Island in Lufia 2, thank you very much. A shame they stopped putting slots in Pokemon, though.

InfamousDS
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InfamousDS

Dragon Quest still has slots!

Chris Schwartz-Brown
Guest
Chris Schwartz-Brown

Yeah I kept waiting to find a casino in Sun and Moon and was kind of surprised I didn’t.

InfamousDS
Guest
InfamousDS

Alola doesn’t approve of underage gambling.

#MakeKantoGreatAgain

Wolfie
Guest
Wolfie

Johto has been sending their trainers here for too long, they’ve been coming across border, going to our Gyms, and trying to defeat our Gym Leaders. One of them even became a Champion, taking the Championship away from people from Kanto.

They’ve brought us Dark types. They’ve brought us Steel types. Some still use the originals, I assume. But they are bad trainers. I will build a wall, I will keep their trainers out of our Elite Four, and Mt. Silver will pay for it.

Chris Schwartz-Brown
Guest
Chris Schwartz-Brown

And now they expect us to put up with the fairy types coming in and converting our Jigglypuffs with their obviously preferred lifestyle choice. In my day, dragons were only weak to ice and other dragons!

Chris Schwartz-Brown
Guest
Chris Schwartz-Brown

Jim, Jim, Jim… I am very disappointed. I think a lot of people probably missed it, it was pretty subtle in the video, but how could you. How could you have sunk so low….

As to have not told us that Pogs for Boglins had moved to JuicySlots(dot)com before today!? Were you trying to keep all those sweet sweet boglins to yourself you naughty boy. I for one will be going over to JuicySlots(dot)com right now to play a few of their many, many wonderful games!

DJ OakeyDoakey
Guest
DJ OakeyDoakey

I too will be heading over to *JuicySlots(dot)com to partake in casino fun times while having the chance to win big. *JuicySlots(dot)com is the place for people like myself to enjoy all the pleasures that hentai themed slots have to offer. This comment isn’t at all sponsored and genuinely reflects my opinions on *JuicySlots(dot)com

Chris Schwartz-Brown
Guest
Chris Schwartz-Brown

Of course not! Juicyslots(dot)com doesn’t need to pay for this kind of great publicity. They just have to keep offering the best anime and game themed slots and the best pog and boglin based gaming on the net.

Children under 18, please remember “not” to “visit” juicyslots(dot)com(slash)kisdzone, the kids cartoon and cs:go fun zone is meant for players 18 and up, even if your mom or dad’s credit card can get you access to hundreds of games in just a few minutes.

DJ OakeyDoakey
Guest
DJ OakeyDoakey

That’s right person I’ve never met who’s not affiliated with JuicySlots(dot)com. You seem to be the smart, fun, outgoing person who knows how to enjoy himself. Just like the other fine people here at (INSERT WEBSITE).

Anton
Guest
Anton

All I got out of this episode is that, somewhere online there’s a Mummy-themed casino game where I can line up five Brendan Frasiers. Brb, blowing life savings.

Kromas Ryder
Guest

Just a small note. South Africa and South America is not the same place. 🙂

Although at this point I think South America has better internet than us. 😛

Inkswitch
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Inkswitch

Good to see someone else noticed that

Locuas
Guest

my paypal account. it is a really worthwile charity that does a lot of good. i can give you the link if you want to 😛

Peter Quint
Guest
Peter Quint

1.) Great episode, really interesting.
2.) Charity – RSPCA. I love animals.
3.) Can someone explain to me how having these links in pages helps with search engine optimization? I’m totally out of the loop on these things with no idea how it works, really.

Huttj509
Guest
Huttj509
When a search engine such as Google is looking for sites pertaining to a topic, the bots can’t actually understand the content as people do. One of the techniques used is to look at what terms OTHER sites link to the site in question using. A whole lot of sites associate yours with online gambling? When someone searches for “online gambling” your site is considered more relevant, because a lot of other sites consider it relevant. You may have seen sketchy sites with all sorts of hotlink terms at the bottom of the page linking to similarly laid out sites.… Read more »
Peter Quint
Guest
Peter Quint

Thanks for the explanation.

Wolfie
Guest
Wolfie
This was actually quite informative, and interesting. You know what else is interesting? Playing the slots in the hopes of winning big! Over at Juicy Slots you can find over 200 different slots to cater to your particular taste. It’s really a shame that such skeevy marketing is a thing in this day and age. All the more reason there should be stricter control over advertisement and disclosure laws. If you’re over 18 years old, you should check out Juicy Slots! Why work when you can win big! I have to wonder though how many took it out of desperation,… Read more »
galactix100
Guest
galactix100

You can still post pictures so…………….

Wolfie
Guest
Wolfie

Nah, I was going to link to them a few times like in those articles to really go for that authentic feel.

galactix100
Guest
galactix100

It’s because of that kind of dedication to the joke that we love ya.

Wolfie
Guest
Wolfie

Oh you flatter me!

Sperium3000
Guest
Sperium3000

Uh, I get that Juicy Slots thing was a bit, but there’s actually a google play store app called Juicy Slots, Jim. I hope that doesn’t lead to some misunderstandings.

galactix100
Guest
galactix100

HOLY SHIT. Jim’s obviously a sell out and is using hilarious comedy to misdirect us so that we don’t spot his lies. I just googled Pogs4Boglins and it’s a real, genuine, actual, real website. PROOF.

Sperium3000
Guest
Sperium3000

Dude, you know what I mean. Are you saying there aren’t people stupid enough out there to really make that kind of olympic leap in logic?

galactix100
Guest
galactix100

Didn’t mean to mock you just having a bit of fun. Also yeah I’m certain there are plenty of people who will actually believe that.

La Chica Incognita
Guest
La Chica Incognita
Whole thing reminds me of 419 scams and scam baiters. Basically when you get a scam email trying to get your money somehow (Think: “Nigerian Prince left you money, give us your bank info so we can send you it”) people will purposely answer and string them along. This would often make them jump through absurd hoops or use internationally known actors/references that any moron should catch immediately for comic effect and waste the scammers time and money in theory making them less efficient at their scamming while producing a few laughs. So…yeah these people come off as horrendous scammers… Read more »
Wolfie
Guest
Wolfie

419 scams? Which ones are those?

La Chica Incognita
Guest
La Chica Incognita

Basically the stereotypical “Nigerian prince” scam. Essentially it boils down to someone in a foreign land has money that is somehow in your name and needs a small down payment or bank information to get it to you.

Wolfie
Guest
Wolfie

Oh okay, never heard them referred to as 419 scams before. Today I learned something new.

SilentPony
Guest
SilentPony
Anton
Guest
Anton

I’m really loving the comeback of Starship Troopers memes.

SilentPony
Guest
SilentPony

It is a worthwhile endeavour we have set ourselves upon.

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