The Jimquisition: Nintendo’s Virtual Console Is Trash Garbage

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With Pokemon Snap finally arriving on the North American Wii U Virtual Console, it’s time to get something off my incredible tits.

Let’s talk about Nintendo’s terrible VC release structure.

(PS – Apologies for the ad. For some reason Chains of Love no longer reliably gets flagged and deadlocks the ContentID bots being deployed by Nintendo, who elected to monetize this video. I am appealing it, obviously. In future I’ll have to throw a few more deadlocks out to properly safeguard against game companies’ disrespect of fair use.)

  • Benj

    A Jimquisition critical of Nintendo. This is bound to be received well with calm and well measured comments all round.

  • SilentPony

    I think the Switch would really benefit from Nintendo just going “Here’s the Switch, and we’re also including these game disks here. They have every single game from the Nintendo, Super Nintendo, Gameboy, Gameboy Advanced and N64 on them(that they still have license to publish). Have fun!”

    Who wouldn’t buy that?! Fucking Super Star Wars, Body Harvest and Vigilante 8! Sold!

    • BAH!

      Those games would he unlikely, but I did have a thought along those lines a few days ago. If the Switch came with a pack-in game (as it’s rumored to) plus a dozen classic VC games, that would be quite a value.

      • drownedsummer

        That would be cool but the ‘classic’ nature of some of the games on Mini Nes are questionable.

        • BAH!

          Well, I figured the more obvious titles from Nintendo’s legendary set of IP’s. Titles like “Mario is Missing” and”Wand of Gamelon”. You know, the good suff.

          • drownedsummer

            True classics clearly like with the Mario Bros film they felt it was unnecessary for more of those games to be made as they would never be surpassed

          • SilentPony

            But the obvious titles have already be re-re-re-re-re-released, ad nauseum! How many times do we need Mario 64 or Ocarina of Time or even just Super Mario bros? At this point if you haven’t played those games, you don’t want to.
            But re-releasing some of the more obscure games, Body Harvest, Jet Force Gemini, Army Men Sarge’s Heroes, Battle Tanx, etc…THAT’S worth paying for. I’ve had enough of Mario.

          • BAH!

            Considering Nintendo doesn’t own any of those IP’s (and I don’t even know who ended up with the rights to Army Men), that’s really not their call to make.

    • Some pre-installed classics on the Switch memory wouldn’t go astray, and yet I feel the fortunes of this thing are ultimately contingent on the future software releases and the vagaries of mass-market player committment to the same.

    • Gaealiege

      I don’t understand why the mini NES doesn’t include 100% of Nintendo licensed NES games. I’d pay $100 for that easy. I will not pay $60 for 30 …30 year old games.

      I’ll just emulate them for free without a drop of guilt.

      They should release an NES with full library (pay for all the IPs), along with an SNES, Gameboy, Game Boy Advance, and Nintendo 64.

      I’d gladly shell out money to buy all of those, so long as they came with a full library.

  • Jiryn

    Being tired of the shit Virtual Console release schedule, and having to constantly rebuy the game for every Nintendo product I own, even at a discounted price really began to piss me off.

    This, mixed with the Nintendo’s lazy release of the NES CLASSIC, made me literally sit down and build a Raspberry Pi emulator over the weekend.

    I already own 100s NES, SNES, GENESIS, MS, GB, GBC, GBA games… so I decided to just build a mini console that can handle and play them all effortlessly.

    The only thing I can see holding Nintendo back on releasing 3rd party games on VC is licensing and rights… but that still makes no sense. Seriously, I can name a dozen Konami games that if released on VC.. would make Konami and Nintendo bank, but still we don’t have the original Contra on any VC release.

  • RifleAvenger Sashiro

    “Chains of Love doesn’t work anymore.”

    2017 is already worse than 2016.

    • InfamousDS

      Since Jim’s deadlock was news-worthy, and many people may have started using it since it was a guaranteed “safe” anti-monetization song, and they most likely can see “who” keeps infringing, the rights holders may have changed it to keep anyone from infringing. Maybe even Jim specifically.

      • Artemiy

        Good. Imagine if Jim has scared all copyright holders from Content ID-ing everything that way.

        • InfamousDS

          I was thinking they changed it to “monetize infringement” instead of changing by disabling copyright protections.

          This is a battle of attrition that can only be won by stacking the deck in your own favor. Like others have said, Jim need to partner with someone who specifically will let him use their content AND doesn’t want to monetize themselves on that specific content.

    • Benj

      The Chains of Love have been broken.

      Bring forth the Chains of Lust!

  • Nobody’s Fanboy

    If the other banner is anything to go off of, the gloss will wear in over time. It’s also a little off-center, but that might be intentional…if it wasn’t, we wouldn’t be able to see any of the J.

    • SilentPony

      Of course it was intentional. Jim doesn’t make mistakes.
      Alternatively, it was not only intentional, but its always been like this, and Jim is just showing off how well his new diet is going.

  • 09philj

    Meanwhile, the PS Vita plays loads of good PS1 and PSP games. You’ll need to shell out for a memory card, and the PSP games are rather pricy, but if you want to play Persona 3 Portable, Street Fighter Alpha 3 Max, and Disgaea: Afternoon of Darkness, you can do so, on demand.

    • Lies That Bind

      Oddly enough you can’t dl some of sony’s biggest ps1 games on it though like crash, spyro, and silent Hill 1.

      • 09philj

        I assume they’re the ones that need all four triggers.

        • Lies That Bind

          That’s the thing though. They don’t and even then the ps4 vita technically has an l2, r2,l3, and r3 button. They take place on the back of the touch pad.

          • 09philj

            I assume they couldn’t be arsed then. PSP support is much better than PS1 support, and since half of the PSP’s library was PS1 ports…

          • Lies That Bind

            It’s just disappointing.

      • AnGer

        Except you can download Spyro on the PS Vita, all three of them.

        • Lies That Bind

          You can get them on your vita but you can’t just go to the store and dl them

          • 09philj

            Yes, you can.

          • Lies That Bind

            You can’t just go to The north American vita store and download them* Idk about other regions but I’m assuming it’s the same.

          • 09philj

            I can do it here in the UK.

          • Lies That Bind

            Well fuck Sony for putting arbitrary restrictions on game downloads for different reasons for no reason then.

          • GloatingSwine

            Comically, the versions you download in the UK store are the US versions. (They originally had different titles here.)

            Either that or they’re there and you can’t find them, it’s all three as one purchase.

    • That said, the availabity and pricing of ps1, ps2 games on ps4 is piss poor, to say the least. Why is that, for heavens sake?

  • MrInsecure

    BUT JIM NINTENDO ONLY EVER MAKES GOOD DECISIONS EV-

    *chokes on a Kirby Amiibo*

    • drownedsummer

      I think the availability would prevent you being able to choke on it.

      • Charlie Koszulinski

        You’re right. He should change that to:
        *chokes on Animal Crossing Amiibo of character nobody knows or cares about*

  • Doublep

    If you can be bothered, you can try finding a new position for your lights, in order to avoid the reflection on the panel to go straight to the camera… Or just buy a new one, spend the money Nintendo doesn’t want!

    • SilentPony

      God, can you imagine if people complained about the sound quality too? The perfect storm of what Jim hates: lighting, sound and recording problems.

      • Doublep

        Trying to help here, as long as Jim is in it, i don’t care where how the backdrop looks…thank god for him!

    • Artemiy

      Judging by Jim’s twitter, he’s going to research the second option.

  • Will Bertazzo

    Couple things to address here. One, I completely agree that it would be a bad business move to over-saturate the market. I’m not saying Nintendo is being as fast as it should, but it’s certainly not awful. I’m glad they’re more conservative with the games they put up on VC instead of just treating it like a dumping ground for old content regardless of its quality. I know you say that retro games tend to be more disposable than greenlight games, but I do not agree with hat at all. I purchased a copy of BroForce and Phantom Fighter on NES around the same time and I can guarantee I’ve gotten way more play out of the latter. I also think the comparison between VC and greenlight is unfair seeing as VC has, you know, quality control.

    As for the price, well, I mean obviously it’s your opinion but even just a quick glance at the secondary market will tell you that those are all quite reasonable prices given consumer expectations. I searched Balloon Fight on ebay and the current going price seems to be around $25 US. I’m not saying I would pay for that, but that’s what the market is willing to pay and Nintendo could very easily ruin that market if it started charging 0.02% of the market value as per our suggestion. Please keep in mind that this is more than a market of random collectors trying to make a quick buck by flipping the games they got as kids, there are countless stores all over the world who deal in selling retro games, with businesses and their owners strongly dependent on the secondary videogame market who could be homeless if Nintendo started under-charging for VC games.

    Naturally what I said applies to Sony as well.

    • drownedsummer

      There’s a difference between willing to pay and forced to pay. There’s also the point that events will occur which cause people to try and sell things at a higher price because they believe it will sell at that price. Take the Magic community a card which is performing well at a Magic Grand Prix will rise in price when it becomes an in demand item.

      However in terms of the secondary market buying it for the game as an entertainment product isn’t necessarily the motivation behind buying it.

      • Will Bertazzo

        You’re not forced to pay anything except taxes. If you aren’t willing to pay the prices for a VC game, fine. Nintendo won’t care, there are countless other people who are and almost as many who pay even more for physical copies.

        • drownedsummer

          No my point is there’s a fixed price point we have to pay if we want to play them on a console of choice which frankly for a lot of these titles is set far too high. Due to convenience people are likely to pay it because it’s easier that doesn’t mean they don’t begrudge the price it has been set at.

          The people paying for physical copies aren’t necessarily buying them to own as an entertainment product.

        • BAH!

          I think you’re missing the point. Those carts cost that because that’s what the market will bear. That’s what people are willing to pay. As soon as demand drops. The price drops with it.

          The VC doesn’t do that. And while I agree that 1) Nintendo can do what they want, and 2) the games are’t awful in their price, the way Nintendo has handled their distribution has only added to the criticism.

          Also, the value is largely in collecting. People play them, sure, but I seriously doubt that’s the main draw at thia point – especially with the ease of access to emulators.

          • Will Bertazzo

            The fact still remains that if VC prices get too low it will seriously fuck with used game stores all over.

          • BAH!

            1. That’s Nintendo’s concern because… why?
            2. It won’t be nearly as bad as you seem to think because the market for physical carts is not mainly about playing. It’s about collecting. There is a *massive* difference between owning a ROM, and owning an original gold-colored cart of Zelda II.

            Hell, I’ve known people who owned operable old consoles and games (and were in the market for others) to also buy the VC versions just because it’s more convenient when they wanted to play. But they still wanted the carts.

          • drownedsummer

            A point Jim has made many times about convenience and availability. I bought Earthbound earlier on my 3DS I more than likely have a ROM of it somewhere on my system.

          • drownedsummer

            Will it? Because you’re mostly predicting doom but offering very little to explain why that will be the case.

    • Billy Bissette

      That Balloon Fight price is for a physical cart. It isn’t that people are willing to pay $25 just to play Balloon Fight; it is that people are willing to pay $25 to own one of the 30 year old Balloon Fight cartridges.

      When you take the original run 30 year old physical cartridge out of the equation, what people are willing to pay plummets.

      • Will Bertazzo

        Youre crazy if you think that people arent buying those carts to play them.

        • drownedsummer

          Thing is though some of that market is people flipping games and people willing to buy collectors items. That market will be a mixture of both and is far too much of a generalization to claim otherwise.

          Someone buying a rare limited edition of Abbey Road quite possibly isn’t doing so to play the album.

        • Billy Bissette

          They are paying what they are willing to pay in order to get the physical object itself.

          If Nintendo pressed 500,000 brand new Balloon Fight carts, replicas of the original carts, they wouldn’t be able to sell that stock at $25 each. The replicas would soon plummet in price despite being functionally and visibly identical. Why? Because they are replicas and not the originals. Further, those replicas wouldn’t be scarce.

          Digital downloads, such as those sold by Nintendo’s eshop, are worth even less. They aren’t worthless, but they sure aren’t worth collector prices either.

    • mrhair

      I am finally able to play Suikoden 2 after it’s been $100+ used for years. If releasing games like that at a reasonable price ruins that sort of market, good.

      • Will Bertazzo

        Yeah, good right. Hindreds of thousands of people will lose jobs and numerous local businesses will crumble, but screw that, let’s demand being charged less than a buck for games that are worth way more than that.

        • drownedsummer

          I think perhaps you;re being a little bit hyperbolic and melodramatic. That market isn’t solely driven by people making those purchases to buy a game for entertainment purposes and isn’t that likely to be too effected by it.

          Are they worth more than that? or has the market driven it to that price due to availability and people buying things for collecting purposes. We shouldn’t be having to pay $100 to play Suikoden II. $5 at best on PSN.

          • Will Bertazzo

            I am not. This is coming from my own experience working in such stores. You’re right that the market isn’t ruined by the presence of the VC but it’s presence did noticeably lower the value of games that were featured on it. It wasn’t enough to cause severe harm, but definitely enough to be noticeable. Now imagine if the same situation happened but the games were worth $25 irl and were purchased secondhand with the intention to be sold for that amount but the same games were less than a buck on VC. It doesn’t take a ton of insider knowledge to see how that could turn out bad.

          • drownedsummer

            Yeah except that’s an extreme hypothetical leading to only one conclusion the example is stacked in favor of that conclusion and not actually balanced.. That’s not how the market actually is and you’ve already stated the VC caused some devaluation but not one which caused a major issue.

          • Will Bertazzo

            It’s the hypothetical Jim brought up to illustrate what he thinks is appropriate VC pricing, so obviously it’s what I’m going to use as an example, dude :/

          • drownedsummer

            Apologies I entirely misread what you stated. But those games should be on sale at prices far cheaper than they being sold at. You also did state the virtual console really hasn’t hugely effected the used games market. so this suggestion of mass unemployment is a bit unlikely.

          • Will Bertazzo

            I did, and it hasn’t in a hugely negative way, but if they were to charge as little as Jim wants, it seems to me that the most likely scenario is that stores would take a severe hit.

          • drownedsummer

            But there are more factors involved in purchases made at used game stores.

          • Will Bertazzo

            There are a few, but not enough to salvage it if it loses the “playing for fun” audience completely. I don’t think I need to explain why that industry would not be sustainable if it was only collectors shopping at those stores.

          • drownedsummer

            You don’t but it is also an element of that market.

          • Will Bertazzo

            Absolutely, I’m just saying it’s not enough to hold it above water all on its own.

          • drownedsummer

            But what Jim is stating is reasonable prices being charged for those games and almost £10 for a SNES game is extortionate and those titles potentially being cheaper is’t necessarily going to have the drastic impact your suggesting on the used games market.

          • InfamousDS

            Retail isn’t a swap meet. You don’t buy something with the intent to sell it for the same price you paid, because that makes you bad at your job and an idiot.

            The only people paying full-market are consumers, either as collectors or for the very unlikely chance that they’ll decide to ruin the already diminished value of an old game by actually playing it.

          • Will Bertazzo

            Uh pretty sure I never said that a used game store would buy a game for the same price they would sell it as, lad. Try again.

          • InfamousDS

            Your phrasing strongly implied 2 things:
            1.) That all products being sold are already used (by naming them “used game stores”). This is probably true, and it leads to…
            2.) That the only source for these out-of-print goods is from second-hand dealers, who are all selling at market value by default because it is “what the game is worth”. Trade-ins of these old games are unlikely to occur, due simply to the fact that selling online is pitifully easy and the age itself is making it harder to justify buying a physical copy which could very realistically fail if it isn’t for collecting purposes.

          • Will Bertazzo

            No. My phrasing is not meant to imply eother of those and does in fact not imply either of thsoe, as evidenced by the fact that so far you are the only one to make this mistake, try again.

          • InfamousDS

            “Try again” is the lazy man’s argument when they refuse to refute a point. I let it slide the first time, but you obviously aren’t willing to engage in actual discussion based on your arguments with other people and your staunch refusal to accept any point which does not agree with you. I’ll try and remember to ignore the notification from your inevitable response.

            I don’t check the site when I get off work, so don’t say “Did it take all night to come up with that?” because I didn’t think about this conversation even once until I saw the Disqus notification.

        • mrhair

          I am very sorry for all of the imaginary businesses that crumbled after I didn’t spend a hundred bucks on Suikoden.

          • Will Bertazzo

            Yes cuz that was totally the point I was making. You should go back to learning reading comprehension, pal.

          • mrhair

            Maybe throwing histrionic tantrums about small businesses crumbling just wasn’t a very good way of making your point?

          • Will Bertazzo

            XD “Histrionic tantrums”?

            Yeah, okay.

        • Sorry. What “local” businesses, exaclty, are contingent on Suikoden 2’s price remaining north of 100$. That’s not a rhetorical question. I’m genuinely curious.

    • Wolfie

      No. It is about collectors. It is the business of collectors. They are the ones buying physical cartridges. Other people either are not interested or using some form of digital means, be it piracy or not. The market price, that $25, is precisely BECAUSE it’s a physical copy.

      So I find the idea that marketing digital copies of games, already available digitally, is somehow going to hurt the physical collectors market, as the whole point of something being collectible is the inherent value from its limited nature, to be overblown, to be polite about it.

      It’s a niche market, and will continue to operate within that niche.

    • At the risk of stating the obvious, not everyone is plugged into the car boot sale/Ebay arena of physical heritage media. The question is, should this desire for heritage media determine the market value of an e-shop pricepoint for early 90’s software? No, IMO. Even if it means damning a select bunch of folks to plying their trade elsewhere.

  • drownedsummer

    I never owned a WII but I do still own a WII. When there are more Genesis games on the virtual console than games from the Nintendo console of the same era that is a bit of an indication of an issue.

    It would be nice if they would universally release stuff as well and just keep it to specific regions such as with many of Square’s older games that never saw an EU release. Still it was nice seeing Chrono Trigger appear on the VC in the EU.

  • JP

    For Nintendo’s sake, the Switch had better be amazing. The Wii-U is dead, and the 3DS is nearing its end. As we’ve seen mobile phone releases are not going to be a major money maker for them so they can’t rely on that either.

    The Switch announcement is in a few days, so we’ll know soon. Don’t screw this up, Nintendo.

  • while we are talking about V…why did they stop putting genisis games on the VC during the Wii U

    • BAH!

      It is a little weird considering the 3DS maintains its selection of Game Gear titles AND the Wii U has Turbografx games.

  • Lies That Bind

    I was glad to see you acknowledge Sony’s faulting with their own virtual console (or whatever they call it if anything) the ps2 on ps4 pickings have been slim and there are some decent games and they do put in a bit more work than Nintendo does but I’d like being more than one a month and some that aren’t by Rockstar.

    • Jiryn

      I love their reasoning for not putting PS1 games on the PS4…
      In their own words “We feel that games on the PS4 have to have Trophy support, which is why we have yet to release PS1 games on the console”
      Not verbatim, I am trying to find the article I read this in.

      • Lies That Bind

        They really don’t and they shouldn’t cater to that demographic that thinks that

        • Jiryn

          I fully agree!
          Just give us the games!

  • BAH!

    I like Nintendo. They are, by far, my favorite game developer and hardware manufacturer. They are also surprisingly bad at supplying consumers – often longtime fans – with what they want.

    I agree that the release schedule is *way* too slow, especially when there are six different systems with games on the Wii U’s VC. I agree that staggering the releases per region is utterly pointless. I agree that the games are overpriced, but I disagree that they’re grossly so. I agree The 3DS eShop is a navigational disaster, and the Wii U’s is not a great deal better. It has VC system categories going for it, which is nice, but that’s about it.

    About the only thing I don’t agree with is the assumption that the Switch will do a clean reset for users with a existing account. That’s not to say I don’t think they will, just that it’s better to criticize based on facts rather than assumptions. But if the 3DS is any indication, there’s a pretty good chance they will.

    Also, it would be incredibly stupid for Nintendo to start fresh with a completely new storefront. Again, they just might, but this one seems far less likely, which means it’s also less likely the VC will start from scratch. We’ll see in either a few days or a few months.

    • diamond

      I personally much prefer Sony and Microsoft at this point, i’m pretty much fucking done with Nintendo.

      • Chris Schwartz-Brown

        That’s extremely useful information! Thanks for sharing it in this thread specifically discussing Nintendo and their policies, it’s really helpful.

        Which Youtuber told you to be done with them by the way?

      • drownedsummer

        Ummm good? You don’t offer any explanation of that which leads to the question of why state it?

    • You’ve pretty much mirrored my exact feelings on the Kyotoite capers of N. Some of the most visceral and downright pleasing interactions matched only by extended droughts and exasperating eShop-back-catalogue silliness. It’s like meeting the perfect life-partner who occasionally, and quite sporadically, reserves the right to spurn your arousal while playfully flicking your earlobes.

    • Christoph Brinkmann

      “About the only thing I don’t agree with is the assumption that the Switch will do a clean reset for users with a existing account.”

      While I agree we shouldn’t criticize based on assumptions, the Big N had plenty of opportunities to have features come over from one console to the next. They have done this a combined total of zero times over 6 major consoles and countless handhelds.

      And, bottom line, if Johnny Q public can have, literally, the entire 8-bit, 16-bit and 64-bit library of games available for download on their website they’re hosting in their own garage, Nintendo can do likewise.

      • Oooh, I really, REALLY, genuinely, GENUINELY salute this sentiment. At the risk of stating the bleeding, bloody obvious, AMEN, brother. Amen.

      • BAH!

        That’s not completely true, as One’s Wii data could be transferred to the Wii U free of charge (though you paid for it in inconvenience), and that very idea was pretty much impossible before the Gamecube.

        That said, Nintendo Still doesn’t have a great record. They’ve done a full reset once already, and refused to implement cross-buy on VC titles (or even a small fee like they did for the Wii>Wii U upgrade).

        However, You are completely wrong about the VC’s library. Nintendo can only publish the titles they own the rights to. Any other games require the OK of the IP owners.

  • The only thing I took away from this is that Virtual Console purchases don’t transfer to next generation Nintendo consoles?

    If I brought a PS4 home and it didn’t have my PSN purchases available to download I’d take that thing right back to the store.

    (I never bought a post-Wii Nintendo console because they were region restricted and importing did not look feasible. I’m glad if this is the case, because the only thing I play on these new age consoles is old games. I’d have gotten 90% less use out of the PS3 if not for the appearance of Netflix. Life just moves to fast now to muck about with emulators. These companies are kneecapping themselves to not offer the best service possible.)

    • Drake Warnock

      I know you can move your VC games between the Wii and the Wii U, but it is a shit ton of work to the point where it may as well not be possible.

      I don’t think you can move games between any other consoles, though.

      • BAH!

        It’s not “a shit ton of work”, but it is inconvenient. You have to power up both systems, download the transfer app, and let them do a system transfer for way too long. At which point I think you have to remove the SD card from the Wii and put it in the Wii U? It’s been a while.

        But after that, you’re good to go. Hopefully the Switch won’t repeat that mistake.

        • Drake Warnock

          It’s a lot more work than it needs to be.

          • BAH!

            Yes, definitely.

      • Charlie Koszulinski

        Correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t you still have to pay a fee even after you transfer your games from Wii to Wii U? Like, $0.50 a game or something?

        • BAH!

          Only if you want to play them directly from the Wii U’s menu- and with the enhanced emulator and gamepad support. Otherwise, you can boot up the Wii menu and play them from there.

    • MJC

      “If I brought a PS4 home and it didn’t have my PSN purchases available to download I’d take that thing right back to the store.”

      Then let me save you the trouble: if you bought home a PS4, it would NOT have your PSN purchases available to download. Most of them will be PS3 only/not on PS4. Like PS1 games. If you bought PS1 games, I hope you don’t want to play them on PS4, because you can’t. PS2 games? If you bought a PS2 game on PS3’s PSN, then get a PS4 and the same game is available… You get to buy it again. There isn’t even an upgrade discount, you pay FULL PRICE again.

      The only games you can keep are a small number of cross buy games, assuming you bought any of those.

      So, yeah, to save you the trouble: just don’t get a PS4.

      • Thanks for that. I definitely won’t. I almost got one of the $250 packages with a game during the holidays. And the sad thing is I am a longtime Sony loyalist, but I’d already decided the PS3 was such a disappointment that I would not buy a PS4 for many years if at all.

        I should probably just stop following video games altogether at this point, but the reality is it helps me blow off some steam, and I’m not sure where all that psychic energy will go if I stop. I’m much more interested in movies (not mainstream) but I don’t give a damn about following them or discussing them. I follow “politics” (current events that effect peoples lives) but I have nothing to add to that discussion at all. I could virtually care less about video games (they are such crap) but that’s what I follow/discuss, for formative reasons I guess. So weird.

  • Muddy Scarecrow

    Funny you brought up the 3DS store front. I literally just had that problem last night when I searched the Shantae games on it. It brought up a million fucking videos and trailers for Shantae and The Pirate’s Curse and the actual games were all the way at the fucking back. Also it feels like every time I go onto the store (which isn’t often) there’s ALWAYS a goddamn update that forces me to reset the whole console and wait five minutes before I can go onto the store. Not even to buy anything just to look!

  • Appretaur

    It’s hard to believe Jim would have spent $10 on Pokemon Snap, since it doesn’t even feature Ekans. But more than this, Ekans was once featured in the game during development while it was originally being developed as a 64DD title, and it was removed when the game became a standard N64 cartridge.

    • BAH!

      Classic case of Ninteno’s addiction to censorship!

  • Landy Alexander

    Why doesn’t Jim upload the show to contentid himself, so it matches itself and gets demonetized. Or pay Gavin to write a 30 second song about fair use, and have him demonetize all uses of it.

    • Drake Warnock

      I ran the idea through the comments a little while ago of content IDing yourself, but I didn’t think of having a second party do it. That would probably make it easier.

    • thatdamnrat

      Because then he wouldn’t get to dance to Chains of Love obviously.

  • Miles Saintborough

    Nintendo is too fucking controlling. They love drip feeding. When I mentioned on another site on how Nintendo is purposely selling the NES Classic a few units at a time, I got told off for making a “conspiracy theory” and that “artificial scarcity doesn’t exist”.

    • Gregory McIntyre

      when apple can mass produce a $3000 laptop and have multiples in every store in north america Nintendo can figure out how to mass produce a $60 console.

      • Miles Saintborough

        More like Nintendo is lazy and/or incompetent. Hell, we seen Jim swear off amiibos because Nintendo kept releasing specific amiibos in tiny amounts and he could never get the ones he wanted. People are gonna do that for the NES Classic if they haven’t already.

        • mbrandse

          Honestly, more than incompetence or being lazy, I think the problem is that Nintendo is too stuck in being Japanese. It explains a whole lot about their practices, for instance in regards to VC or the recent classic NES.

          To explain; in Japan there are still a lot of game developers that firmly believe that there is simply no way that Western people could like Japanese games. In their minds, the games were made for Japanese people and therefore only Japanese people could possibly like those. It’s very possible that both Nintendo and the companies releasing their games on VC are of that mindset as well. Hell, Bandai Namco (or at least key figures in Bandai Namco), who sees moderate success with their games in the West is still of the opinion that non-Japanese people could not possibly like the Tales series. I experienced this mindset at BN directly myself, when I was job searching. I reckon it’s gotten a bit better, seeing that at least their latest Tales game is not taking half a century to come stateside.

          Another thing that struck me as strange now that I am living in Japan is Japan’s “gentei” (or limited edition) culture. In Japan, limited editions are limited, no matter how much people like it. For instance, my wife is a huge beer lover. Sapporo, a Japanese beer brand, every now and then releases a bunch of limited edition beers that you can either only get during a specific time or by jumping through tons of hoops. These beers, well, the moment their “time is up,” will literally be gone from store shelves in a matter of days or at most a few weeks. If online demand is anything to go by (we researched), these limited editions are anything but unpopular, with batches on Amazon going for big prices. It’s not just beer either, other limited editions are the same. Screw them selling well, once the period is over, they are GONE.

          When you think of this culture, it becomes a bit more clear as to why Nintendo made so little classic NES machines. It’s not necessarily because they are lazy or incompetent (at least not in the traditional way), but because they are too stuck in their Japanese ways, many of which don’t really have a place in the free market.

          Don’t get me wrong though; I am not trying to excuse their behavior, just trying to cast a light on the why of their actions.

          • Miles Saintborough

            That seems pretty spot on. I’m betting that Nintendo of Japan have Nintendo of America on a tight leash on how many units are allowed to be pushed out.

      • 🌊Parasol Dimensions ☔

        The amount of money they make for the console is a pittance when you compare it to the 2500 in profit Apple would make per laptop.

        • Gregory McIntyre

          not the point in what I’m saying at all.

          • 🌊Parasol Dimensions ☔

            Apple can fail to sell 5/6 of them and be in the green while the cost of parts and development might demand that nintendo sell their full stock

          • Noam

            With all the reports of Nintendos banked value I’m pretty sure they can afford to ship more than 5 NES Classics to a store. Hell they could even go double digits to 10! 10! THE MADNESS!

    • Daniel Jensen

      Honestly I think it’s the same logic behind pretty much every other logistics blunder the gaming industry does: better to underestimate sales than to overestimate them.

      Or maybe Nintendo is literally running all the scalping.

  • CaitSeith

    I knew there weren’t enough Skeleton Warriors for this video!

  • El Gonzo

    Yay for the RLM bit 🙂

  • Gregory McIntyre

    This is actually why I want a switch. I want one hacked with all the roms of the old nintendo systems. it looks like the perfect system for it.

  • Artemiy

    I know it’s against Hanlon’s razor but… I can’t help but feel that the issue stems from the publisher simply not wanting you to buy their old games.

    They’d rather you spend $40-60 on a new title than $10 on a collection of old ROMs. And they’d rather give the higher ups the justification to pump out drivel than to acknowledge the fact that people like their older games more than the current ones.

    By the way, “thank you” for the video intro. That was almost a jumpscare.

    • Appretaur

      That would actually reassure me a lot more, given how much more logical from a business perspective that comes across to me… It introduces me to the idea that any publisher’s backlog directly takes away from what new stuff the publisher would come up with if that backlog’s contents are allowed to compete with the publisher’s frontlog, to the extent that Nintendo even having a Virtual Console is kind of a nominal liability that many publishers with retro catalogs would not even consider for themselves. Nintendo’s an outlier for even having a VC, in other words, and would probably seriously harm itself financially in the long term if it dared to give what Jim wants.

      Even if this cynical version is only a *possibility*, perhaps Jim should have also discussed that angle and addressed whether he thinks that should be the prevailing assumption about the VC approach that everyone should be having.

      • Artemiy

        One possible motivation for Sony and Nintendo to implement such services is to stick it to the people who use emulators and “pirate” ROMS. “There, you filthy pirates, now you have no excuse!”

    • GloatingSwine

      Fuck no, publishers these days love you buying their old games.

      It means you’re giving them free money for a thing they made years ago and takes almost zero effort or cost to serve to you.

      In Nintendo’s case they love it so much that if you want the same virtual console game on multiple platforms you have to pay their comical “upgrade fee” the grasping shits.

    • Lloyd

      If you ask me that’s like Best Buy choosing to not sell a ton of cheap junk and snacks at the checkout line because they are worried people will buy that instead of a new TV.

      • Artemiy

        Cheap junk doesn’t compete with TVs though. These are entirely different products with entirely different buying practices.

        • Lloyd

          Which is my point, VC games aren’t competing with new full price games either.

    • Daniel Jensen

      Exactly this. Games aren’t art, they’re PRODUCTS, and if you’re playing yesteryear’s PRODUCTS then you aren’t paying the premium for the new PRODUCTS.

    • Nate

      If Nintendo had more than one first party game per generation to tap into the nostalgia people have for the classics I’d agree with you.

      • Artemiy

        Well, they have Mario, Zelda and Pokemon, don’t they?

  • John

    Speaking of Rob Liefeld, did he design Maui from Moana?

    • Nick Young

      He’s a demigod not a full human so exaggerated features shouldn’t be unexpected

  • TJ Barke

    Oooh Jim, Scalebound got cancelled, I wonder if there’s some juicy shit there to be explored.

    • drownedsummer

      Which follows on from TMNT being unavailable.

    • Benj

      Am I right in thinking that this iss the game that went from a young girl commanding dinosaurs to generic action heroes commanding dragons because the because girls can’t ride dinosaurs… apparently.

      It sounds like the latest casualty in the eternal struggle between fun ideas and AAA marketing executives.

      • drownedsummer

        Pretty sure it was the same protagonist when the footage was first shown. Granted I might be wrong because I don’t really any real interest in it.

        • Benj

          I vaguely remember something about a game switching out a young girl as the protagonist to a more generic tough guy one on the basis that “the girl wouldn’t be strong enough to hold” or some other inane bullshit. I’m fairly sure that was this game.

          Plus they switched from dinosaurs to dragons or dragons to dinosaurs for… some reason or other.

          • BAH!

            You might be thinking of Zero Dawn Horizon? That features a lady-type and dinosaurs.

            I don’t recall Scalebound ever doing what you describe. But then, I’ve not paid much attention to it.

          • drownedsummer

            Pretty sure Scalebound hasn’t changed. Well until the recent change it went under when it changed to a game not being made.

            What you’re describing sounds more like the few scant details we’ve learned regarding BG&E2 apart from the dragons and dinosaurs.

        • Mewshuji

          I believe Laura brought it up in an old episode of Podquisition. It was very early in development, before we even got an announcement or trailer that it was decided we’d get punk action dood instead of badass little girl as a protag. Like the initial concept was “young girl riding dinosaurs” and became “dude riding dragons with sick beats”. YMMV as to whether the direction we WERE going to get was a good one or not (I personally find the idea of young girls riding dinosaurs and causing mayhem to be both hilarious and potentially empowering for young girl gamers so I prefer that, but both are fine ideas).

          • drownedsummer

            You can find an article on it if you search for Scalebound changed protagonist. However that doesn’t appear to have been a recent change and was one which occurred at the very earliest stages of development eight years ago.

      • TJ Barke

        There’s a story on IGN about it, but it’s short on details.

        • drownedsummer

          From the Polygon article

          ‘“After careful deliberation, Microsoft Studios has come to the decision to end production for Scalebound,” a Microsoft spokesperson said in a statement to Polygon. “We’re working hard to deliver an amazing lineup of games to our fans this year, including Halo Wars 2, Crackdown 3, State of Decay 2, Sea of Thieves and other great experiences.”

          Which through elimination suggests it wasn’t going to be an amazing experience although stating amazing experience and Sea of Thieves in the same sentence is surely a contradiction.

          Allegedly it has had a troubled production. We’ll likely hear more about it on Thursday as Laura was looking forward to it.

          • Dariush

            halo wars2…thats gonna sell well…^^

    • 09philj

      Microsoft must have realised/concluded that XBONE owners don’t like Monster Hunter.

    • Drake Warnock

      It’s possible it was just cancelled because the development wasn’t going well or something.

      • TJ Barke

        Maybe, but it looked like it was relatively far along.

        • Drake Warnock

          The article I read said that the senior staff took a month off after it was shown at…E3? Whenever it was last shown.

          I don’t know if that is true or not, but if it is then that would definitely point in the direction of not being worth it.

    • Dariush

      the game looked lame. Thats it ^^

      • TJ Barke

        Opinions are like assholes.

        • Dariush

          man, the dante wannabe with headphones was the asshole ^^

      • diamond

        I thought it looked OK

    • Dunno what happened here, but Hideki Kamiya has preserved the heritage of arcade pulls and thrills like no other producer in his time. Repsect.

    • drownedsummer

      Microsoft are also apparently deleting videos of it from their Youtube channels. Which raises the question if they will try to remove third party coverage.

    • MrJechgo

      Well, believe it or not, one reason that was brought up is that Microsoft and Platinum Games butted heads over creative differences. This… has also happened between both Sony and Nintendo and their respective 3rd-party developpers. For instance, Nintendo and Rareware parted ways for good, because of how Shigeru Miyamoto wanted a Star Fox game instead of a new IP. This eventually converted Dinosaur Planet into Star Fox Adventures… and it was the last Rareware game on a Nintendo platform until they sold off to Microsoft.

      Creative differences between eastern and western developpers would be an interesting topic.

  • Jak

    I liked the Ubisoft segment.

    Didn’t notice any unusual arousing and/or disgusting features of sweatiness.

    But I did notice the French background music which I found spot on.
    I never thought I could mention “French music” and “spot on” in the same sentence but there you go…

    • Raien

      The “French music” is actually the theme to a classic British sitcom called “‘Allo ‘Allo”, set in Nazi-occupied France. I have to admit, I get a pretty strong kick out of Jim’s very British nostalgic references.

  • HisDivineOrder

    Great Jimquisition. I’m glad your back is almost, er… back. I’ve had two surgeries myself and they were not fun at all. Here’s to more Chains of Love riffs in 2017!

  • Benj

    Since “Chains of Love” doesn’t seem to work with the deadlock anymore might I suggest “A Little Respect” instead since AAA companies are giving fucking 0 respect to fair use (plus it’s another Erasure song so that fits quite neatly)

    • diamond

      I think Jim should use some music from super popular artists like Drake or Kanye.

      • drownedsummer

        Unfortunately that plan hinges on people being forced to listen to Kanye West.

        • diamond

          As long as it’s Kanye’s earlier material(I.E. before his mother died and he went completely insane) that’s fine.

          • drownedsummer

            Nah just use Moment of Truth

      • Benj

        Kanye West is the kind of bottled lunatic that might make it his own personal mission to destroy someone for a small perceived slight

        …and unlike Digital Homicide he has the money to get have some success with that.

        • diamond

          Nah that’s Trump you’re thinking of, considering Kanye just had a nervous breakdown a few weeks ago, i’m thinking he has far more important things to worry about then someone using his music in a video.

        • MJC

          Nah, I don’t think Kanye has the money. If I remember right, Mark Zuckerburg turned down Kanye’s request for a loan.

    • Chains of Love’s value obviously transcends the base value of deadlock merits. It is about a feeling in the marrow that only particular pieces of pop music can tap into. That said, “A little Repsect” probably cuts the mustard. So to speak.

    • DJ OakeyDoakey

      I think ‘Love to Hate You’ would be a better message.

  • Polishfury5000

    Is Pokemon Snap just a straight up emulation of the original with nothing new added? If it is, Nintendo missed a golden opportunity to implement the gamepad.

    Star Fox Zero’s gimmick of forcing the game pad to be a first person perspective for aiming could fit in pretty well with Snap.

    • iorek byrnison

      of course it is. zero reimagining with the gamepad. come on, this is *nintendo* we’re talking about

    • MJC

      Nah. I got sick of “move the gamepad around the room to control the camera” while playing Nintendo Land. That idea can permanently fuck off now. Either get back to proper tracking like those VR headsets do, or just use the analog stick. None of this inaccurate, sloppy gyroscope crap.

      • Polishfury5000

        It just seems like one instance where gamepad aiming could be a fun option. Snap is so short, it could benefit from more gimmicks for the sake of replayability.

        It’s not something that’s aged that well.

  • George

    Jim criticized Nintendo!!!??? I AM NOW INVALIDATED AND FILLED WITH RAGE!!!

  • Jim, I hope you’re back continues to play ball from here on out. My brother has serious lumber woes and it doesn’t half torpedo a man’s mobility.
    I agree with a lot of what you said in this video. Nintendo’s e-shop malarkey would drive a nun to drink. I’m not optimistic that Switch will rectify this.

    • BAH!

      At best, the Switch will merely maintain the eShop’s current form. And it’s sad that that’s the better alternative.

    • MJC

      I can’t wait for the Switch to come out so I can spend another $3 to upgrade from a Wii U game that I paid $3 to upgrade from a Wii game that I paid $10 for. Thanks Nintendo!!

      (granted, it’s less of an ass fucking than Sony’s stance of “if you bought this PS2 Classic on PS3, fuck you, buy it again for full price on PS4”, but it’s STILL an ass fucking and I don’t like being fucked in the ass)

  • TaumpyTearrs

    Oh Jim, you always look like a horrible sex pervert, Its part of your charm!

  • Nivmarx

    Bitch about Nintendo all you want, but I still think the VC is a good service. It is a good way to get games that would otherwise be forgotten. Especially you, who has complained about the bad archiving of games you should understand that. And your Emulator argument is invalid because not everyone wants to tap into a legal grey area. Could the service be better? Sure. But it’s not worth a Jimquisition.

    • iorek byrnison

      a whole lot of people think you’re wrong

      because you are

      • Nivmarx

        Wow, you really deconstructed my argument there.

        Except you didn’t.

    • Daniel Jensen

      The “emulator argument” is very much a YMMV. You’re right that some people really value getting something from the legitimate source (Piracy and grey-zone sites certainly are not my first choice for anything I can easily find a paid version for because fuck viruses), but a LOT of people don’t particular care, ESPECIALLY when the paid-for official version is worse.

      I’d also like to point out you didn’t address Jim’s main “why the fuck is the drip feeding taking so bloody long” point. I mean, I’m no fan of Pokemon Snap (because, well, I’ve never owned a console much less a Nintendo one), but even I know people were begging for a sequel or even a VC port.

      • Nivmarx

        True, but those who don’t care also don’t care that the VC is an option at all.

        And the reason I didn’t mention the Pokémon snap thing is because, as I admitted earlier, there ARE things to improve. The library is weak compared to the Wii days and it does lack some important games, including Snap.

    • MJC

      No, the emulator argument is not invalid. I always hate it when people go “and your point that proves my entire post wrong is invalid because I said so haha!”

      No. You’re wrong. Emulation does a much better job of archiving games than the Virtual Console has been doing. That fact is absolutely not changed by some people choosing not to use emulators. Yeah, some people won’t use them. They’re still there. They still exist, and they’re still archiving games far better than Nintendo are.

      Also who the hell accidentally killed Jim by strangling him while he came and made YOU the new authority of what is and isn’t worth a Jimquisition?

      • Nivmarx

        And who made you this barking little lapdog? Did I ever say anything about being an authority? I’m giving my opinion, just like Jim. Maybe invalid argument was a poor choice of words, but I stand by what I said. Virtual Console is a good system. Calling it bad for a dumb release schedule is unjustfied and not everyone likes to use emulators, regardless of how much better you think it is.

  • Wellsy487

    I agree that putting only 300 of their back catalogue is stupid. I don’t think that they should put everything out in one go as having 5-10 games a week keeps people coming back to look.

    However any console should have at least 60-100 to start with. I would never buy a new console day 1 because they never have enough games.

  • RedWolf

    As much as I love Nintendo’s IPs, and as much as their games have given
    me so much joy over the years and helped me through some very difficult
    times, fuck me over a barrel does that company need to sort its shit
    out!
    I still enjoy their games, but I’m losing more and more patience
    with them every day, and I have only a puddle’s worth of it left.
    This is why I’m going to wait at least 6 months after the release of the
    Switch: to see if they actually properly support the fucking thing. If
    it turns out to be another Wii U (my biggest waste of money ever) then
    I’ll be able to just shrug my shoulders and go back to my PC and 3DS
    with my peace of mind, and my finances, intact.

    • drownedsummer

      The thing is even with the current games the once a generation model is flawed as well. While I don’t want to see a Mario Kart or Zelda pumped out annually more than one game per console would also be nice.

    • George

      That’s my policy too. I never buy a console until at least 6 months after launch.

    • Imperial soul

      Trust me what a year thats about the time when you get to see if a console will fail .

  • Brian

    Wait, you don’t want me to strangle you while you cum?

  • The Outsider

    Imagine a better world, one in which Nintendo put all of its great games all the way up to and including the Gamecube available for free for Switch users. Imagine they made software available on there to teach kids how to make games similar to the older classics. Perhaps it’s the anti capitalist in me, but even in capitalist terms that would sell a fuckload of consoles.

  • Shui Gor

    What with how Nintendo doesn’t want to answer supply with demand, it should come to no one’s surprise they’d shit on their Virtual Console library, too.

    • drownedsummer

      It really depends on the situation with Sun & Moon they shipped 8 million units? However with the two global events they’ve done with Sun & Moon they seem to massively overestimated how many players use the online functions. Both events required players to capture a million Pokemon and both fell short got nowhere near the target.

      • RifleAvenger Sashiro

        I know that I always keep my 3DS offline unless I specifically want to do something online. Keeping the wireless mode on eats away the battery incredibly fast.

        • Nate

          Also at least the original 3DS and 2DS only have wireless-G. I have my router set to N-only for many reasons and actually plug in an old router whenever I actually want to go online on the 3DS systems…

  • MJC

    “(PS – Apologies for the ad. For some reason Chains of Love no longer reliably gets flagged and deadlocks the ContentID bots being deployed by Nintendo, who elected to monetize this video. I am appealing it, obviously. In future I’ll have to throw a few more deadlocks out to properly safeguard against game companies’ disrespect of fair use.)”

    On that note, I would like to take this opportunity that it’s highly likely the Switch will have a Share Button, much like PS4. Might as well call it the Content ID button instead though.

  • Exley97

    “…wallowing like a pig in the filth of your own rose-tinted consumerism.”

    I died. I’m dead. Jim Sterling slayed me. RIP, me.