The Jimquisition: Regarding My Inquisitor And Vaginas

This is the last “standard” Jimquisition of 2014, as we see out the rest of the year with our annual Jimquisition Awards and Top Ten Shittiest Games. How exciting!

Before we get to all the celebratory stuff, how about a bit of satire? This week, we send up the kind of people who are furious at the mere existence of diverse romance options in BioWare’s games. For those who already asked – yes, there are actually people who think and talk like this, and it’s really quite sad.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta get back to pounding it…

And pounding it.

And pounding it.

And pounding it.

mrhairy
Guest
mrhairy

Lol sorry had a few to many but the sentiment is right keep up the good work Jim much love sir

mrhairy
Guest
mrhairy

I fuckin luv jim f’n Stirling
I f’n luv jim fuckin Stirling
Sonnnn
Ifuckin luv jim f’n Stirling
I f’n luv jim fuckin Stirling
Mummm

L0cke89
Guest
L0cke89

Although I really like to see a more diverse cast of characters with different sexualities, I can understand why some people describe DA:I as pandering to a certain demographic. As seen by a few talks/comments from Bioware writers, they bath in the applause they get from being inclusive. And I don’t really know why. Why do you have to make such big deal out of it? Why does one of the gay characters have to look like a total cliché just so everybody gets that he likes cock? Bioware still does not know how to write good gay characters and… Read more »

Ffordesoon
Guest

<3

You're the best, Jimothy.

Rafael
Guest

Well, DA: I does a better job than DA:2. In fact DA:2 (and to a lesser extent ME3) are classic examples of “James Bonding” were in all characters are designed specifically to fulfill the sexual aspect of the in-game power fantasy.

Bad all around as I explain here: http://youtu.be/JnpBQS1HZcU and here- http://ralfast.wordpress.com/2013/10/25/space-for-rent-james-bonding/

Craig the Intern
Guest
Craig the Intern

Clearly “me” isn’t the person they’re making games (I misspelled that “cames”) for, for if they were, I would be enjoying a lovely next-gen Dead Space Christmas release.

Vilx-
Guest
Vilx-

The thing I don’t understand is – why are people still getting so worked up over some comments on the Internet? It’s… the fucking Internet, for Jim’s sake! The dumping grounds of all humankind’s bullshit and verbal diarrhea. You don’t get worked up over that shit, you ignore it. Huh?

Crunty
Guest
Crunty

I’m not against heterosexuals personally, but I don’t like when it’s shoved in my face – and they’ll all burn in hell for their perversion.

The PwnUltimate
Guest
The PwnUltimate

OK, I looked at people “justifying” their opposition in the YouTube comments for as long as I could without tearing my hair out, and this is what I could glean: If you include any LGBT characters or gay romance options in your ~role-playing~ game, then your only possible motive for doing so is to impress progressive game critics at the cost of your artistic vision. However, your reasons for including any heterosexual characters/romances in your video game is subject to no scrutiny whatsoever, and is assumed to be the culmination of your childhood dream of writing about a white, male,… Read more »

Craig
Guest
Craig "The Raccoon "

I had no idea there was even sex in the game yet , find myself starting over trying to wrap my head around this game and all the back story. I close the first hole and i get put in jail, second hole a elf like dude grabs my hand “in a weird way ” and we close the hole together is that the sex? …. then i wonder around this city grabbing roots and things. sticking a fat sword in some spookie looking fellows here and there. Then i get back to hunting for roots some giant map pops… Read more »

Zodas
Guest
Zodas

Are there any asexual options or characters in DA:I? I suppose it’s asking a lot to have asexual visibility in major media considering how few people self identify as asexual.

runningerror
Guest
runningerror

Jim I have to say that I’m quite shocked about this episode. There should have been a big warning sign at the start of the video. I always enjoyed the fact that your show is family friendly and the moral you teach my kids are invaluable for them on their way to adulthood but this episode. Now I have to explain to my gender neutral boy/girl what heterosexual means and why there are those sick people out there. I hope you understand my predicament and consider warning your audience when you tackle those sensitive topics.

Collette
Guest
Collette

It’s pretty sad you have to do this one again, after the erotic Mass Effect fan fiction and the serious video on the matter on top of it. But of course, far too many people will never learn. You did still make it funny time around though, so I’m certainly not complaining.

Ben
Guest
Ben

I don’t particularly care if there are straight characters, bisexual characters, or gay characters. I *would* like Bioware to actually integrate sexuality into the personality of their characters and not make every romanceable character available to every player; that *does* seem like pandering, not to mention lazy dialogue recycling. Has Inquisitor progressed any on that front? (“You know, normally, I wouldn’t go for a member of the same sex who is also of a different species, five times my size, and who initiating sexual congress with would likely render me bedridden for several months, but seeing as how you’re the… Read more »

Some Guy
Guest
Some Guy

Clearly, you’re wrong Jim.

THE (don’t forget the THE) Iron Bull is great and a major contender for one of the best NPCs, but Sera exists and Sera is just the best.

Nobody's Fanboy
Guest
Nobody's Fanboy

For the love of all that’s holy (or unholy, if that’s your bag), that was so brilliant I need sunglasses to view it. What’s even scarier is that the line that hit home the hardest…”I’m not asking for much, am I? All I’m asking for, all I really want is to be able to have DA:I provide everything I personally want and enjoy while excluding any content that appeals to people who aren’t me!”…applies to so many facets of the geek culture blow-back as of late. The Spider-woman #1 thing, the presentation of women in games thing, the presentation of… Read more »

SilentPony
Guest
SilentPony

Are people REALLY still on this anti-gay thing? I’m not gay myself and I don’t ever read YouTube comments, so I’m not exposed to anything really, but are there people out there who still think having the option of a gay character is undermining…what, exactly? Their straight-hood? Or their gameplay?
What is it about an optional gay character that so offends people? What about women or black people? Are those offensive too? Or black haired people?
How about we just have blonde, blue-haired male protagonist. Better yet, have him speak German too!

notred360
Guest
notred360

Jim, you disgust me, i find myself horrified that you would support this perversion against nature! Iron-bull-sexual? how dare you! i, as a true and normal Dorian-sexual will be hard pressed to continue watching your videos if you do not renounce your ways and say you love Dorians magnificent mustache!

sincerely, Nota Realname

Jango
Guest
Jango

Glorious. Thank God for you, Jim.

bodyvamp
Guest
bodyvamp

“It’s like Skyrim! With Swords!”
Wait Skyrim didn’t have Swords? Than what was that big sharp metal thing that I was swinging around all the time? Dam those Merchant with their false Product labeling!

ZippyDSMlee
Guest

I tend to not worry about story stuff in games, I focus on mechanics and as far as I can see by not building a good quality game then tear it down into easy mode that’s the default mode as so the real game is hidden in the menu options, ya know the one place none of the mouth breathers bother looking through…. Harsh but true…..

PS:Also be nice if most level deign/layout these days was not on the rails….. or mindlessly open.

Greg
Guest
Greg

I chose a gay romance option for both Dragon Age games. I’m not gay, but I’m not an elf wizard either, so, you know…

Are the sex scenes in Inquisitor as hilarious as in Origins?

Phandrax The Aged
Guest
Phandrax The Aged

Your Ironbull comment was incredibly exclusionary . What about the asexuals among us? What do they do when we’re all fondling ourselves at the thought of Ironbull’s erect phallus? I want to know that my erection isn’t at the cost of another’s exclusion; that when I cum all over my copy of Dragon Age: Inquisition those without sexual interest in another human being won’t be feeling left out.

Morthasa
Guest
Morthasa

Personally I don’t get all the outrage at the non-heterosexual options in this game. One particularly otrageous thread on the BW forums ranted about how straight males only had two options, one of which was bi, and declared that the series had severely strayed from its escellent roots in DA:O… (where straight males had two romance options, one of which bi…) ugh…

I find relationships and NPC sexuality in DA:I to be a massive step up compared to how they were handled in DA2 (an aspect of the game which I hated).

BAH!
Guest
BAH!

Tell you what, my absolutely biggest pet peeve is when a game isn’t suited specifically to my personal tastes. I mean, do the developers not know that I don’t always like what they want to make? That must be it, because if they did, they’d make something else… something I like. But how could they not know who I am and what I like? I’m a gamer and a consumer- they must know! So it must be that they’re purposefully creating content that I find mildly uncomfortable or generally uninteresting simply to spite me. Well, they’ll soon know the wrath… Read more »