The Jimquisition: The PS4 Trash Tour

http://www.patreon.com/jimquisition
http://sharkrobot.com/collections/Jimquisition-merch

As a nice treat, we’re going on a field trip today. Come with me to Hell, as we scour the underbelly of the PlayStation Store.

The Power of PlayStation, it turns out, is a dark and foreboding power indeed.

Bonus Content: Life Haxz with Jim Sterling

 

Concubinary Code
Member

Horse racing 2016 is on sale for the featured deals of the week as of right now for a generous 85% off. Ha

Cobra_IronFang
Member
Cobra_IronFang

By the looks of it Sony’s quality control seems to be the same as me saying I’m an olympic athlete. Sure I can go around tellimg people that I’m an olympian but I ain’t gonna win no gold medal… maybe a potassium medal… if I’m lucky, and Sony’s quality control seems just as good.

LegendaryFrog
Guest
LegendaryFrog

Manager: “My son made this game and I want it on PSN”
PSN Dept: “No. It’s terrible”
Manager: “Uncle. Those jerks won’t put my son’s game on PSN”
Sony VP: “Put that shitty game on PSN”
PSN Dept: “But it’s bad!”
Sony VP: “If you don’t post it on PSN I’ll find someone that will”
PSN Dept: “Fine”
VP heads ‘home’
VP’s Mistress: “So my friend’s teenage kid made this game…”

Stephen
Guest
Stephen

So, based on your anonymous source, it seems to be access based and have zero actual quality control? Giving us the worst of both worlds.

R.M.Renfield
Member
R.M.Renfield
AVGN made one of the great prototype youtube series about shit, broken games on the NES. Didn’t they (Nintendo) have the quality control Jim is talking about? Can there be any objective standard of “bad game” or is it just “you know, if it’s got x and it has y and z doesn’t function…” basically Jim doesn’t like it. What, honestly, is your solution? A bunch of guys and gals playing everything that gets submitted? Every single one? You could bust Valve just by getting a bunch of hacks to produce endless clones and watch Valve pay the 2 million… Read more »
drownedsummer
Guest
drownedsummer

No, Nintendo had a rubber stamp which alleged ‘Nintendo seal of quality’ but this appeared on all NES game regardless of actual quality and there were many, many shit games on the NES.

R.M.Renfield
Member
R.M.Renfield

Now I’m drunk and ranting, never any solutions, are there, Jim? You know what else is shit? No planes flying from my garden to New York for 5p. What the fuck are British Airways doing?

How is any of this impacting on Sony or Valve or whoever financially?

InfamousDS
Member
InfamousDS

You can’t cure a sickness when you only know the symptoms. Without finding out the problem first, any alternative could only make things worse.

Justin Wayne
Member

This is incredible. Most of my PS4 purchases (including a number of impulse buys) have been digital but I will certainly be careful to avoid this kind of garbage.

Hopefully shouldn’t be too difficult given how atrocious even static images of these games look. XD

YoungSteev
Guest
YoungSteev

How widely known is it that Vaccine, a rather terrible roguelike that looks like an early build of the first Resident Evil (which Jim has done a couple of videos about already), is available on the Nintendo store? It seems like this unmoderated digital store policy may stretch further than Valve and Sony

WyattGr
Guest
WyattGr

5-Star Top Rated is not the only one that got taken down Jim, but it’s not that surprising you didn’t hear about Solbrain Knight of Darkness. It was a hot mess that lasted a hot minute, and from last year. Stolen assests from Skyim, inability to pause, enemies glitching into the walls so you can’t win, can’t save. I think less than a hundred people even bought it before it got pulled forever. …. Counting me.

VinLAURiA
Guest
VinLAURiA

You could have prevented this. You could have bought a Wii U.

(I mean, Christ, some of those look like PS2 games.)

machine_dirty
Member

Wii U’s eshop is also pretty bad from what i’ve heard.

Terry-Osaurusus Hex XI
Member

Are Sony passive-aggressively punishing US consumers for trump? Or think their quality standards are that much lower now?
We UK/EU members have like maybe 10% of the shit like that VR tripe and the bestest horse racingest game you’ll ever playest, so something is happening or failing to happen between the two markets. I still am betting on some juicy gossip-worthy blackmail being utilised towards a highly regarded Sony exec. Just filling in the blanks here, Sony.

Appretaur
Guest
Appretaur

The name “Sony” sounds like an incomplete form of the phrase “So Neat,” and that seems appropriate because Sony doesn’t have a complete and functional grasp on providing and maintaining a neat and tidy storefront.

xmoziex
Guest
xmoziex

Also noticed a character in the video called ‘ceann duine’ which translates as ‘one person’ lol

xmoziex
Guest
xmoziex

Gach Duine (Gok Dinna) is actually Gaelic for ‘everybody’

Allan Weallans
Member

I can’t believe I didn’t notice that. Because Jim keeps pronouncing it wrong. Just like he keeps pronouncing Cait Sith wrong, the speaking-Gaelic-wrong bastard.

drownedsummer
Guest
drownedsummer

However, while that may be the case regarding the meaning and pronunciation this doesn’t mean that the creator of the game is aware of it and very easily could have gone with that ‘sounds cool’

InfamousDS
Member
InfamousDS
A notable mention Jim didn’t cover was SkyLight Freerange Part One. As he said though, the shit piles high and the shovels don’t exist. There is no way to filter out crap on PSN unless you already know what game you want. The bad games are mixed into every facet of the store, sold alongside the likes of Persona and Horizon as though they deserve equal billing. It’s a shame that I can’t browse the new game s any more without immediately becoming suspicious of any indie titles. I mean, there’s this little pixel thing called “Undertale” now. It looks… Read more »
InfamousDS
Member
InfamousDS

I’m leaving now, but I just wanted to clarify the last paragraph is sarcasm. Not super interested in coming back tomorrow morning and seeing lots of “Undertale is good” posts.

Pancake
Guest
Pancake

Mother 3 is better tho.

It is.

Miles Saintborough
Member

Mother 3 was eh to me

Pancake
Guest
Pancake

Thats fine miles.

I dunno undertale could never really get the same sort of emotion mother 3 could bring.

Probably because undertale is like 5 fucking hours and mother 3 is 30.

Also it has one of my favourite endings of all time so no bias here.

InfamousDS
Member
InfamousDS

I’ve never actually played it, but neither of the other 2 games came out on handheld. It fit with the joke.

Frankly I’m just glad I didn’t have to explain that contracts are a real thing again. Last time Jim broached this topic on-site with Horse Racing 2016 I had a multi-day argument about how they do in fact exist and they are in fact different from the “click yes to play/post video” agreements we all have to deal with.

Pancake
Guest
Pancake

You should give it a try its one of if not my favourite game of all time the hoops to get it translated on a rom are well worth it.

machine_dirty
Member

This is very interesting indeed, what exactly is Sony trying to hide? I am a little pissed that Sony is A-OK with being overly restrictive with mods for Fallout 4 and not allowing cross-platform play with other consoles, yet they are perfectly fine with opening the floodgates for dozens upon dozens of shitty games(several of which couldn’t even get on Steam) which results in the PSN looking very similar to the Xbox Live Indie section on the 360(something i’m surprised Jim didn’t bring up), and that’s not a comparison you want people to make.

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
Guest
ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

comparing the PSN to the Xbox Live Indie section kinda turns a criticism of the PSN store into a swipe against the Xbox and then you get the hee-haws yelling “sony pony” and saying “that’s where I stopped listening”, even if Jim then went on to point out that the reason why current iterations of the Xbox and the windows store in general don’t commit the same sins as the Xbox 360 and it’s achievement spammer shit is because they went through this problem and learned from it, while sony & valve are both repeating the same mistakes.

machine_dirty
Member

Very true, at least Microsoft had the foresight to put the bad indie games in their own little section where they could easily be avoided, but with PSN there’s no way to avoid seeing those awful titles.

MattStriker
Guest
MattStriker

I suspect that Jim’s insider is on the right track there. Sony’s management is still very, very traditionally japanese in terms of corporate culture. It’s quite possible that these games end up on the store because of the decision-makers’ obligations towards their friends, and they’re not talked about because that would result in said decision-makers losing face. They act in the expectation that nobody will mention that the emperor is completely naked out of politeness and get exasperated when somebody like Jim refuses to follow these rules.

drownedsummer
Guest
drownedsummer

I’m not sure how that would explain Skylight Freerange though who are Canadian.

NotoriousBOB
Member
NotoriousBOB

that was the best Life Hacxz yet – I had a man with a blue uniform and a gun and a shiny copper tiny-shield thing try to mug me the other day and I pinched his nipples so hard he fell in love with me and now I live at his house with cool metal bars on the windows n stuff it’s great thanks jim for the life hacx tips it was great Xd

SmaMan
Member

A lot of people also forget about how the Wii U eShop was, for a year or so, a dumping ground for Unity asset flips, and even a games with copyrighted music and other assets in them. Look up the Skunk Bundle’s “Haunted Hotel” if you want a big glorious mess of a game.

BAH!
Member
BAH!

It still kind of is. Maybe not blatant asset flips, but very obvious low-effort “games” still get on with regularity.

SmaMan
Member

True, true. RCMADIAX is another great example of a minimal-effort developer who can’t take criticism. At least he uses original assets… most of the time.

Greene Scott
Member
Greene Scott

So is stuff region speciffic? A lot of the stuff appears on the Squirty Jimpressions don’t seem to ever show up on the UK PSN like Life of Black Tiger. That’s a good thing of course but I wonder why that is.

machine_dirty
Member

Yeah it does appear to be mostly U.S. specific, not sure why that is. I guess that makes up for the U.K. getting all those awful shovelware games by companies like Blast Entertainment(who made such “gems” as Home Alone and Beverly Hills Cop on the PS2)

drownedsummer
Guest
drownedsummer

Some of them have had physical releases though as I found several on Amazon UK.

Shui Gor
Guest
Shui Gor

No Zoidberg joke? I am disappoint……

MuddyScarecrow
Member

I just finally bought a PS4 too. When I went browsing for games that were around 5-10 dollars I got literally nothing but shovelware crap for three pages straight before I gave up and just bought What Remains of Edith Finch. Thanks for that recommendation, by the way Jim! I loved it! Just further proof that you’re damaging the indie market like the Romines say, eh?

Concubinary Code
Member

Wait for flash sales. They come once a month and usually have a variety of stuff to like. Shadow of mordor GOTYE was a measly 4 bucks last sale.

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
Guest
ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
Yeah, the PSN store is overpriced for PS4 games – you’ve basically gotta buy stuff from amazon to get anything at a reasonable steam equivalent price range for the PS4. basically my general experience is that of the few things I’ve bought directly off the PSN store via my PS4 I have always kinda regretted the decision, not just because of the price but the sure knowledge that Sony has likely saved my personal card details alongside my login ID and passwords as a plain text file stored on a USB kept in a desk drawer of the receptionist who… Read more »
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