The Quiet Man – Pretentious Broken Garbage (Jimpressions)

The Quiet Man was quietly squirted out by Square Enix with little fanfare after it was shown off at E3. Why the sudden desire to keep it on the down low? Because it’s awful, that’s why.

Nonsensical, ugly, broken, and often hilariously incompetent, The Quiet Man is confusing gibberish from beginning to end. Speaking of the end… hoo boy!

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Oliver MendesChristoph BrinkmanndrownedsummerChristopher AllenChris Recent comment authors

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Christoph Brinkmann

Just wondering how long it’ll be before somebody comments “Well Jim, you JUST DON’T GET IT”

Oliver Mendes

I have consistently noticed that some troll comes through and downvotes every comment on every one of these posts. I have to wonder how little of a life you’d need to have to keep up with that. Anyone else noticed?

Christopher Allen
Christopher Allen

I just know there is going to be an extended story on this project’s development…something that will almost certainly supplant any interest people have in the game’s actual story. How and when things went south between the dev team and Square Enix will be an interesting discovery.


From what I can tell she is his mom, but also he wants her to be his girlfriend. So….we’re better off not hearing those parts of the story quite honestly.


So from what I can gather of the plot, Tom Brady’s clone has hearing problems, and a violent streak to go with his Oedipus complex. All of this culminates in him being possessed by the mask Jim wears to fuck Pogs, and is bolstered by literally nanoseconds or bafflingly obtuse combat. Fortunately there is an interminable period of live action video to fill the void, but someone forgot to hire a sound tech.

Day 1 must buy!