Greene Scott
Guest
Greene Scott

Liked the review though I disagree with Jim that the whole no good and bad people in a story is inherently bad or post-modern.

Barloq
Guest
Barloq

I think in this case it was more that they pushed it like it was a bold thing they were going for, but then executed it poorly.

Anton
Guest
Anton

Given how universally hated this thing is, it’s only a matter of time before diamond (or one of his sock puppet accounts) shows up and tells us it’s actually a good movie. DAMN GOOD, in fact.

The Jabberwock
Guest
The Jabberwock

The Black Angels that you are ragging on for “Entrance Song” actually have some pretty good songs. Including “Entrance Song.” Conrad, call Jim on bullshit when it’s clearly bullshit. You guys may not have wanted to repeat what you said last time you recorded this, but that was really a stretch. The Black Angels were key to the soundtrack of the game Spec Ops: The Line and they also have “Young Men Dead” which everyone has heard perfectly suiting something badass at some point.

Conrad Zimmerman
Admin
As part of my research, I did listen to a few other Black Angels tracks and I will admit that I found some to be pretty decent. “Entrance Song” feels pretty mediocre to me in general, and it’s really not helped by its application here. I believe I went into it a little further on the first recording and it just didn’t quite get there on the second go, but I kind of found the selection set the tone for the level of subtlety the audience should expect from the film going forward, which is a pretty terrible bar to… Read more »
The Jabberwock
Guest
The Jabberwock

I don’t doubt the application is terrible. I genuinely don’t. It’s a terrible movie. But I think the terrible application of a good song that you weren’t familiar with may have influenced how you chose to describe the song. The song wasn’t made for the movie, after all.

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
Guest
ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

Your opinions are subjective and your rage misplaced.

The Jabberwock
Guest
The Jabberwock

My opinions are subjective, that’s what makes them opinions, but I am utterly without rage. You’re projecting. My post was not about my personal opinion though, but about Jim’s and Conrad’s. They are likely (in my opinion) allowing a terrible use of a good song (in my opinion) to affect how they view the song (in my opinion).

Chris
Member

Yet you didn’t say that the first time, you told Conrad to ‘call Jim on his bullshit’, you clearly are upset and weren’t simply stating your ‘opinion’ on the song. You were actively calling them both wrong for not liking it.`

OrangeyChocolate
Guest
OrangeyChocolate

“A lot of good ideas, poorly implemented” pretty much sums up the state of gaming right now.

Rough-Sailin\'Louis
Guest
Rough-Sailin\'Louis

Just like in the Warcraft episode, I realized halfway through I had completely forgotten who a character was that Conrad talked about. And in the time it took me to write this, the name of the character got forgotten, too. Concerning.

On a more positive note, congratulations on making a podcast better than the movie covered again. And while I really don’t want to watch another AC movie, I would appreciate it if they embraced the utter nonsense the games are based on and ended a sequel with a fistfight with the pope.

Chris
Member

But if we did that, would the third act have to be entirely derailed by an hour long session of capture the flag? Because that was integral to AssCreed 2.

(I still don’t understand how people hold that second game up as some kind of classic. Black Flag is the only one in the series I think was really fun, and only then when it completely forgot to be an Assassin game for a while and became a sort of HD remake of Sid Meier’s Pirates!)

Lewis Whatley
Member
I agree that the first game was boring. I haven’t played it in a long time, but I seem to remember my 10 year old self being quite disappointed. Come to think of it, that was the same year I got Fallout 3. I played it until I got out of the vault, and then stopped playing for about a year because I didn’t enjoy it at all. I saw it on my shelf about a year later and thought “well, I might as well give this another go.” Then I played it again and really enjoyed it. I’d completely… Read more »
Aotrs Commander
Guest
Aotrs Commander
I listen to Spin-Off Doctros (and Fistshark actually!) while doing my CAD work. I think it says a lot that this is the first movie that I wasn’t really following. (I am one of the people who listens to these 90% of the time never having (nor intending to ever) watched the films being discussed, so most of the time, Conrad’s synoposis is the only window.) I think that’s pretty much down to it must having been so boring and Jim and Conrad hated it so much, that they didn’t dwell on the details – and/or there apparently wasn’t a… Read more »
George
Guest
George

This was a really funny episode. Jim’s one liners were great.
I shall paraphrase, (please correct me if I got the quote wrong)

“Well, fuck me until my penis farts.” …sums up the movie, really.

Arella Jardin
Member
Arella Jardin

The games started dialing back on the present day storyline, because nobody gave a shit about it after AC3’s insulting ending. So, of course, they focus the movie on that aspect.

I just want to watch a historical period piece where charismatic assholes stab people in the neck.

Jack Trevor
Guest
Jack Trevor

It was Colin Farrel who was in the new Total Recall. And I also thought the film was good for what it was. Even as a fan of the original.

And the minute I saw the trailer for this movie I knew I saw a stinker. Good to see I was proven right.

Galactix100
Member
Galactix100

It’s obvious that everyone involved, especially the writers have no idea why people like the games. All they needed was 90 minutes to 2 hours of jumping off buildings and stabbing people during a famous period in history. The fact that the film is written like the focus of the games was Desmond whinging. Which is likely why Aguilar is closer to Altair or Connor than Ezio or Edward since there was no time to give him a character.

sillyskeleton
Guest
sillyskeleton

Oh come on, no film with Michael Fassbender leading could possibly be that bad. Surely!

RougeMephilesClone
Guest
RougeMephilesClone

*Reads description.*

Ooh, dis’ gon’ be good.

JackieGoOutside
Guest
JackieGoOutside

The worst movie you’ve done. For real.

This is gonna be good.

I don\'t deserve this kind of shabby treatment
Guest
I don\'t deserve this kind of shabby treatment

Hey Jim, if you use a Dropbox folder to save your files in, Dropbox will back up previous versions of a file. So, if you accidentally delete it, or overwrite the file, you can use version control to retrieve the previous version. I think it keeps old files for 30 days by default.

Also, were you too drained by this movie to even bother doing a FACTS fanfare?

Simon
Guest
Simon

Looking forward to listening to this iconic movie with iconic characters.

Must admit I haven’t played Assassins creed since 3. Can’t believe that we are on the 9th game already.

Christian Pohl
Member

Don’t know about the last two, but Black Flag is the most fun I’ve with AssCreed since Brotherhood.

FireroseNekowolf
Guest
FireroseNekowolf

Holy crap. I got the next Brazzier’s porn parody! Did I spell their name right?

Ass-Ass In Creed. It’s a character who’s an assassin who disguises themselves by joining the band, Creed, in a mission to fuck to death a world diplomat. It can be a parody of both Assassin’s Creed AND Zoolander!

Double moneyshot!

InfamousDS
Guest
InfamousDS

Despite Jim and Conrad’s protestations to the contrary, this very accurately captures the feel of the games: A whole lot of pointless bullshit, punctuated by notable moments which don’t matter thanks to the pointless bullshit.

Chris
Member
Yeah, the core AssCreed games really have this formula that holds them back at this point. Every time one tries to do something interesting, like Black Flag with the pirates and the idea of running the gang in Syndicate it has to be saddled to the same handful of not at all rewarding stealth mechanics, easy and uninteresting combat mechanics and tailing missions. Fuck me the tailing missions… The most frustrating thing is that I felt like Shadow of Mordor, for all of its many, many flaws, actually felt more like what the original AssCreed games were going for then… Read more »
Citizen7
Guest
Citizen7

“Bwah bwah buh bwah whatever. There’s a fact.”

Nevac
Guest
Nevac

I actually enjoyed this movie, so despite being a seasoned listener from day one, I might have to consider giving this one a wide berth. I knew the movie boys were set to tear into Ass Creed, but that tag line says it all haha.

MuddyScarecrow
Member
I have been waiting for this episode for a VERY long time. I tell anyone who is willing to listen (i.e. nobody but I do it anyway) that this movie feels like two completely different movies that are trying desperately to happen at the same time. If we’d just focused on one of them it wouldn’t have felt so exhaustingly disjointed. Also the friend I went to see this movie with had never actually seen the “fake a death row inmate’s execution to put him into a secret program” trope before this movie. She was actually extremely confused as to… Read more »
Terry-Osaurusus Hex XI
Member

Why are these recordings getting quieter as they go on? I swear I’m not imagining it. It’s like you both are sliding slowly off your expensive high-class leather chairs away from your microphones, but refuse to rearrange yourselves. By the end, I’m literally holding my phone up to my ear on full volume!

WATCH THE FRIGHTENERS YOU FUCKING HACK SKELETON WARRIOR FRAUDS!!

daasbuffy
Guest
daasbuffy

Why couldn’t you two just watch another movie? The Assassin Creed movie episode could just be a mythical one that supposedly was uploaded and act like it had been uploaded and allow conspiracy theories to crop up about it.

loonachan
Member

Gav does a very good American accent.

johnn h
Guest
johnn h

really jim? its worst then pixels? is it possible?

Fallen Prime
Member
Fallen Prime

I’m still listening to Fistshark, so I haven’t started this one yet, but I’m gonna start by saying that, having heard you guys go off for damn near four hours about Pixels, calling Assassin’s Creed the worst one you’ve done for the show is a bold claim I hope you’re not using lightly.

Conrad Zimmerman
Admin

It’s not used lightly, but it may also be a matter of perspective. Say what you will about Pixels, it wasn’t boring to talk about.

Fallen Prime
Member
Fallen Prime

Yeah… I understand that perspective. My friends and I watch bad movies every weekend, and there are really no words to describe how miserable an experience it is to sit through ones that are bad in a boring way.

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
Guest
ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

It’s probably better to compare it to Need For Speed than Pixels – it’s *that* kind of bad, just “what does this have to do with the game? And what does this have to do with movies?”

InfamousDS
Guest
InfamousDS

Since this was a month in the making, it will almost certainly be the most iconic iconic iconic icon… bzzzzzzhhhh

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