The Spin-off Doctors: House of the Dead

“You created it all so you could live forever. Why?”

Your doctors are in the house to dissect House of the Dead, Uwe Boll’s classic cinematic dog turd.

Spaniards from Spain, gun continuity, Sega’s island raves, and tits within minutes are all on the menu. Alongside some of the crappest zombies ever.

You can listen/download directly here and get the RSS feed here.

Check out more Jim and Conrad at FistShark Marketing!

ENAY
Guest
ENAY
JIM! I’ve also played that House Of The Dead fairground ride in Japan. If it the same one as I think it is, it was in Sega World in Tokyo’s Odaiba, it was a special 1 stage version of House Of The Dead 4 where you get into a jeep and spend the entire level sat down with the guns on the seat in front of you. Me and my friend almost completed it, it’s only one level but you can’t continue, you just have a shared energy bar before you die. Best thing about it was that the seat… Read more »
Nitrium
Guest
Nitrium

I was just thinking, if the film is set near Seattle (i.e. the US WEST coast), how the fuck did the Spaniards from Spain get there? Presumably they must have, ahm, crossed the continent somehow, but why would they?

galactix100
Guest
galactix100

It could maybe make sense if they were early colonisers and were based in Mexico/California neck of the woods. I’ve probably put more effort into thinking of that than anyone put into the entire film.

Nitrium
Guest
Nitrium

That’s still a very long way to Seattle (Washington state). Are you thinking by ship or by land?

Ed
Guest
Ed
Two things: 1: I love the movie boys. Jim and Conrad have such a great chemistry together. Don’t get me wrong, I love podquisition, but Jim and Laura and Gavin’s relationship does not measure to Jim and Conrad’s. 2: Jim, I’ve said this before, but your brand is you, not you and tangential video game shit. If you want to get outside the video game box, as it seems like you do, go for it. You’ve off handledly mentioned some comics you’ve read a few times, and I’m sure I’m not the only reader who would love to read some… Read more »
Andrew Barloq
Guest
Andrew Barloq

Yeah, I’ll be honest, there’s basically no Doctoring going on in the Spinoff Doctors, whereas The Movie Boys just makes me laugh. Of course, continuing to use the 2 names makes it even more amusing.

Gurp
Guest

Oh he’s done it before, back with The Escapist: Movie Defense Force.

NotonFire
Guest
NotonFire

But… Curien already has a motivation. In House of the Dead 4 it is established that he was trying to cure his ailing son of an unspecified incurable disease and hit on a (slightly ropey) cure for death before going mad and, well…

Okay, f*ck knows why he made all those uber-monsters.

Maddy
Guest
Maddy

“House of the Dead”
I haven’t started playing this podcast. I hope you mention (or make an episode about) the sequel.
Because House of the Dead 2 was pure gold. Awesome Boll salvage.

Alex Hemming
Guest
Alex Hemming

I really do love this podcast, thanks for this guys! I was hoping you’d do Doom because of that magnificent first person sequence, and I was gonna suggest it here but you’ve beat me to it 😀 I went to a midnight showing of that when it was released back in my uni days, a great laugh.

Also I’d love to hear you guys go through Alone in the Dark with Christian Slater, another Uwe Boll classic.

ENAY
Guest
ENAY

When good thing about this movie that I liked, was the DVD menu, where it had “Insert Coins” flashing over the top of the preview movie. Don’t know why, made me kinda chuckle.

Nitrium
Guest
Nitrium

Is there any game that anyone would actually like to see given the full Uwe Boll treatment (i.e. a game that could actually benefit from Boll’s unique, errr, “vision”)?

Maddy
Guest
Maddy

That movie has already been made.
It’s Postal

sillyskeleton
Guest
sillyskeleton

Movie Boys is awesome. I’m liking this podcast more than the Podquisition already.

Nitrium
Guest
Nitrium

Yeah me too. But that’s mostly because if there is one thing I like better than video games, it’s movies. So a podcast dedicated specifically to movies about games, well, it kinda ticks all the boxes.

Polishfury5000
Guest
Polishfury5000
Really liking this series so far, but, if I may, I just had a suggestion or two. I know you guys wanted to experiment with structuring, and that’s great, but I feel like something closer to the first episode had a better flow. Rather than giving a fairly in depth look first, then doubling back to criticise the minutiae, why not try going scene by scene, critiquing or making jabs as needed. I feel like never having to double back (save for the final thoughts/recommendation) would keep a solid flow a keep things from getting stale or confusing. Lastly, I… Read more »
dennett316
Guest
dennett316

Hmmm, calling Boll a “lover of film”. He must be a spurned lover then, because generally, he treats her like shit. Especially early on when his movies were funded via tax loopholes and there was actually a vested interest in the movies being shitty to help the scam.

moomooblackjack
Guest
moomooblackjack

I love the movie boys. Great work boys.

Nitrium
Guest
Nitrium
Really appreciate the extra structure in this episode. If you want to shorten it up a bit I suggest not going through the plot on a scene by scene basis. As someone who has somehow over the years seen most of Boll’s films (more than from any other single director I think, including Spielberg, Hitchcock and Kubrick), House of the Dead is definitely not his worst. Far Cry, especially, is just really, really bad imo. Postal I also thought didn’t work at all (and had next to nothing to do with the game, as usual for Boll), although some seem… Read more »
ConradZimmerman
Guest
ConradZimmerman

Yeah, there are several scenes that we covered in the plot description that I totally would have skipped right past (and planned to) but Jim kept bringing them up.

Andrew Barloq
Guest
Andrew Barloq

I’m in agreement there Jim, Rampage was actually a pretty damn good film. He has basically been coasting off of that film ever since though, as he did a sequel and Assault on Wall Street (which I watched thinking “man this is very much like Rampage”, before I checked the credits and realized DAMMIT BOLL). He seems like a very frighteningly angry person in those sorts of films, like he identifies a little too closely with his anti-heroes.

Also, dammit, now I’m going to have to track down a copy of Doom!

BAH!
Guest
BAH!

I’ve got it on blu-ray. It’s surprisingly not terrible.

Andrew Barloq
Guest
Andrew Barloq

Watched it the other night… as far as video game movies go, it’s decent. Tonally inconsistent (in a bad way) and very cheap though.

Cameron Davis
Guest
Cameron Davis

‘It doubled the length of the podcast’ I am happy with this compromise.

Graham Miller
Guest
Graham Miller

Conrad sounds a ridiculous amount like Max Landis

SilentPony
Guest
SilentPony

I feel like I’m Megatron and you’re Unicorn Jim. I have no idea what you are, what you’re offering and whats in it for me but my bargaining posture is highly dubious.

Sterlingcron: I will provide you will a new Podcast, a new cohost, and absolutely nothing of substance to add.

Meatron: …and?

Sterlingcron: AND NOTHING!

Aina
Guest
Aina

Very entertaining episode, introducing some structure was a good idea. And yes, Jürgen Prochnow’s filmography is the most fascinating thing. It’s really interesting how he goes from Das Boot and The English Patient to House of the Dead and the Hitman movie.

On another note, the visible bit of the female genitals is called vulva. The inside is the vagina. Calling the vulva vagina is a little bit like calling the penis urethra. And yes, a great many people don’t get it right.

dennett316
Guest
dennett316

Many people aren’t pedantic enough to care….the general idea of “the fanny region” is communicated just fine.

Aina
Guest
Aina

It’s not as if I’m wrong though. 😉

But yeah, big part of my job is to be pedantic when it comes to word choice – scientific writing has to be precise after all. I maybe had to grade too many assignments with inadequate wording… It’s hard to stop to give a fuck after hours.

Also, there are a lot of people who actually do not know the correct usage of vulva and vagina. I blame Oprah.

Remus
Guest
Remus

another great episode, and thanks for listening to the feedback. Thats why you are one of the best content creators

galactix100
Guest
galactix100
For those lucky enough to have not to have seen this film, the scene Jim mentions with ‘Jesse Jane’ getting her tits out is even more ridiculous than it sounds. What happens is her boyfriend gets sea sick and vomits on her shirt so she goes to clean it. As she’s doing this Clint Howard turns up to give her the cross for protection (which of course she ignores). When this happens she literally just turns around to face him. No surprise that he’s just walked in on her topless and no attempt to cover herself like ANY NORMAL PERSON… Read more »
dennett316
Guest
dennett316

Haven’t listened yet, but hoping they tear the shit out of the graveyard shoot-out. One of the most abjectly boring and poorly edited action scenes ever filmed by a so-called professional. Just, abysmally bad. His variation of bullet time too….so awful, it perfectly fits in with the rest of the awful on display.

galactix100
Guest
galactix100

That scene actually gave me a headache

Anton
Guest
Anton

Uwe Boll is Germany’s national treasure. If only he were to work with Nick Cage and Tyler Perry; together they could make the best film ever!

Nitrium
Guest
Nitrium

Oh that would indeed be glorious! And also is should have Tara Reid in it (she has already worked with Boll in Alone in the Dark).
What game should it be based on though?

Wulfsmasher
Guest
Wulfsmasher

Well, outdoor raves don’t have to obey the regular bar and noise laws, so they last well into daylight. But ye, that rave scene is bonkers, although I’ve been to raves with that amount of people and tbh, more doesn’t equal better.

errormaker
Guest
errormaker

MOVIE BOYZ

Graham Miller
Guest
Graham Miller

Been looking forward to the next episode!