The Spin-off Doctors: Resident Evil – Afterlife

https://soundcloud.com/jimquisition/the-spin-off-doctors-resident-evil-afterlife

(Apparently the Soundcloud file doesn’t want to embed on the site today, which is a new way in which it’s fucking up for me. Why not, eh?)

Alice is better than everybody who was ever in a Resident Evil videogame. Remember that!

More undead gibberish is here, with only Good Wesker providing any sort of relief. How will your Movie Boys cope? Well, one of them sorta liked it!

  • Morgoth

    For all the haterade the RE movies get, I think they’re a lot of fun. And their stories aren’t crazier or even more stupid than those in the games. Seriously, people love to crap on “Neo Wesker” but conveniently choose to forget that started with RE5.

    • Anton

      Absolutely this. The intelligence level over the movies is EXACTLY on par with the games.

      … and I feel terrible saying this, but I actually enjoy them for what they are.

  • galactix100

    It’s interesting how the films have gotten to the point where you’d imagine the vast majority of viewers will be people that are invested yet every film still recaps the story to date, as if each film draws in loads of new viewers.

    • Anton

      I think it just shows that they don’t expect the viewers to pay attention (or generally give a fuck).

      • galactix100

        Aye, true.

    • Forrest Kayssen

      To be fair, the stories and dialogue are so awkward sometimes that having a recap might very well be necessary.

  • Sam Cole Owens

    Remember that Tokyo scene for the next one Boys, still makes no sense but it’s relevant

  • Gennadios

    Why did I not hear about the E3 tickets weren’t worth it earlier? Blame my lack of social media.

    Either way, I talked my mates out of it purely on not wanting to line up for VR tech demos, but would have been good to have a reputable source.

    • drownedsummer

      They’re also overly expensive. $250 I believe and I’m fairly sure other gaming expo events in the States are not that much.

      • galactix100

        It’s about the same as SDCC which, although I’ve never been has always looked better than E3.

  • EiM

    Soundcloud won’t let me save the file to my pc. It’s forcing me to listen to it in-browser or not at all. This is not convenient for me for personal reasons, but I digress. Could this issues be related in any way to the embedding problem? Like, for example, a setting that was mistakenly switched when uploading?

    • Ohbaaskah

      Works using Firefox – my one has the Soundcloud Player extension installed but it doesnt look like it should make a difference.

  • Andrew Barloq

    Probably won’t be able to listen to this until a downloadable file is available, but glad to hear one of the Movie Boys dug this. It’s so stupid, but it harnesses the series’ stupidity the best to produce a good time, in my opinion.

    • galactix100

      If you click the link then click ‘more’ under the player there’s an option to download.

      • Andrew Barloq

        You’re pretty good.

        • galactix100

          Yaaaaaaaaaaaay 😀

      • drownedsummer

        It changes awhile back for some reason on the Soundcloud page the download option was directly available instead of having to click on more.

        • galactix100

          Ah, I generally download these on my phone through a different app, don’t use soundcloud.

          • drownedsummer

            I started downloading them and listening to them on my desktop after experiencing issues with accidentally restarting the podcast on Soundcloud.

  • drownedsummer

    What Conrad’s describing around the hour mark is what I believe has been described as Raymond Chandler syndrome if the action gets quite have a man come through the door with a gun.

  • Terriosaurus Hex

    Yes you can’t beeee dumber than Dumbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh
    Dumber than Dumbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh
    Dumbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh

    Eh, eh, eh.

    Dumbrella.

  • Polishfury5000

    I’m really happy facts are back, and even happier with the way they are delivered. Got a kick from all the quote usage.

    Please keep up with quotes from correlating games, when possible. So much more fun than just shouting “fact!” or using a meme keyboard.

    • drownedsummer

      So how would that work with the Tetris film? Assuming it happens.

      • Polishfury5000

        Jim’s a resourceful guy. He managed to get Adam Sandler to present facts for Pixels, I imagine he could score Tetris creator Alexey Pajitnov.

        (I’m assuming it would just be an awful Yakoff Smirnoff impression, with at least one “in Soviet Russia, fact learns you!”)

      • Landy Alexander

        He’ll obviously sing the tetris theme song but using the word ‘fact’.

  • Good job 🙂 Aside from that weird burst of racism at the start regarding 3D, I thought this episode was totally on form. Jim was focused on the movie and games and kept engaged with Conrad. Facts were implemented with relevance (and without piercing my ears) and there were almost no irrelevant personal/political rants. This is near exactly what I want from The Spin-off Doctors

    • drownedsummer

      Several of those factors are what other people are listening for though.

      • I can only speak for myself of course, but nothing makes me want to tune out more. In general though, I left this episode entertained.

        • drownedsummer

          The problem is those parts are also a core part of the podcast. Spin-Off Doctors while each episode has in essence a central subject it is also just as much a podcast where Jim & Conrad chat about things for an hour or more with it only loosely being connected to the film they are meant to be discussing.

          Podquisition is mostly the game technically it’s a videogame podcast but is also mostly a podcast where Jim, Laura & Gav chat about things for an hour or more.

          • I’m not really wanting them to ad-lib about ‘things’. That’s fair enough for a weekly pod-cast, but not for a fortnightly show with a very definite premise. I’ve waited 2 weeks and it feels like time is wasted when they veer off track.

          • drownedsummer

            You may have waited two weeks. But you’ve also waited two weeks for a podcast which is only recorded a few days before it’s uploaded and which also doesn’t have that much organisation and only really a loose structure to it. The improvisation is just as much a part of it as the discussion regarding the film.

          • Landy Alexander

            There is no ‘on-track’. The point is the digressions and weirdness. There are literally hundreds of podcasts of boring nerds talking about boring things.

    • George

      For me this episode was one of the best that they have done so far. I really did laugh a lot. Especially with the “shall I drink the sea until I die now? or later?”

      Or Jim’s scream in the middle of the episode was another one.

  • InfamousDS

    This is the last movie of this series I saw, because it was the first one (to me) where it became blatantly obvious they didn’t care about lining up the monsters with the lore. I wasn’t able to forgive Plagas and Progenitor monsters suddenly showing up with no explanation of any kind; when the world wouldn’t be able to support their origins since it, ya know, ended before they were (re)discovered.

    It was just adding insult to injury when they basically stated that Wesker’s power came from the T-infused Plagas, and also he’s a cannibal now because why not.

    • drownedsummer

      The previous one is the one where it became blatantly obvious that were mostly Resident Evil in name only and mostly a series of films about Milia Jovovich. I’ve not seen the fourth but that doesn’t really sound like anything has changed.

      • InfamousDS

        I don’t have a problem with alternate timelines, so long as they at least make the alternate timeline follow somewhat similar rules. As I said, this is the straw that broke the camel’s back for me on a somewhat enjoyable series. I only learned after the fact it was, like Sandler’s films, a vehicle by which they generated work for themselves.

      • Morgoth

        How was it blatantly obvious in the *third* one, but not in the previous two? And I ask as someone who likes the whole series 😛

        • drownedsummer

          They are slightly more subtle regarding it in the first two films. The third is one where they drop any subtle approach and Alice becomes a Mary Sue character.

          • Morgoth

            Eh, just slightly. In the second this whole Project Alice thing is already going on, and we have her fighting Nemesis near the end (like something straight out from a “My OC vs Nemesis fanfiction”).
            In the first one it helped that she shared screen (and credits) with Michelle Rodriguez. After that, it became her show.

    • Morgoth

      Eh, took you long enough to suddenly care about the lore, considering the T virus gave Alice plenty of cool powers, but turned Matt into Nemesis and Isaacs into a Tyrant, and the rest of the people in zombies.

      • InfamousDS

        Nemesis is a T-Virus creature, made from implanting an infected parasite directly into the host’s brain if they show genetic propensity for becoming Tyrants. Likewise, Tyrants are T-creatures where pure T-cells are directly injected into the blood for those predisposed to accepting the virus but they lack any sort of controlled mutation.

        Up until RE5/Umbrella Chronicles revealed otherwise, it was common knowledge that Wesker was a special case due to his apparent infection by the Tyrant at the end of RE1. He was shown to have superpowers during the events of Code Veronica, and it wasn’t unlikely for others to have that same luck of the genetic draw. It was only after the fact that Capcom retconned his powers to be a special “Wesker Virus” that was unstable and led to his fall.
        /////////////
        My point is that these things existed in the game’s lore, and could be easily explained by the concurrent events of the alternate film timeline. Introducing infections that were not possible since the catalysts for them couldn’t have existed due to the apocalypse was too much for me. As is aid to drowned, I didn’t know at the time it was just Anderson pulling a Sandler for his wife.

    • Anton

      I’d be mad too…. if the base lore made any sense to begin with.

      • InfamousDS

        It makes sense if you are already mad.

        • Anton

          Yeah, pretty much. I could pretend it made sense before I took middle-school biology; afterwards, I had to completely turn my brain off to appreciate RE at face value.

          • InfamousDS

            The key to enjoying fiction is suspension of disbelief.

          • Anton

            Yeah, but some things are harder to suspend than others, and this motherfucker wants to SINK.

            That being said, I’m perfectly ok with shutting off my rational mind for a few hours and dumbing out with some RE… including the movies XD

          • InfamousDS

            I recommend a well-edited Wiki to let steadier minds than your own explain the lore. I haven’t been on it for a few years, but the Wikia RE Wiki was pretty good way back when before RE6.

            Fact-based fandoms (inasmuch as fiction allows) are the best kind.

          • Anton

            I’m perfectly familiar with the lore and fictional science behind the games. Things like viral infections quadrupling your body mass and making you regenerate infinitely without any caloric input are the bread and butter of the series. It’s cool…. but thoroughly stupid, and wildly inconsistent even in the context of the games. The golden macguffin of RE is “virus did it”, used to explain anything and everything.

            Also, “steadier minds”? lol. I wasn’t aware I came off as unstable (though that might be what an unstable person thinks)

          • InfamousDS

            I meant steady as in they are able to cope with it at face vale, like myself. You have to be able to accept the magic virus, or else nothing else makes sense.

            I originally wrote “saner” because that is the turn of phrase. Not like it matters.

          • Anton

            Ahh, gotcha.

            And like I said, I can enjoy the plot, but I pretty much have to stop thinking reasonably or analytically. And once that happens, the movies make about as much sense as the games, which was my original point all along.

          • InfamousDS

            I guess the difference for me is I never try to impose reality on fiction. I accept they may have similar overlapping rules, just for the sake of making the fiction easier to create, but when a creator says that:
            Their virus can turn people into monsters OR that a sprightly British woman can jump several feet into the air OR that a vigilante has seemingly infinite resources to spend on gadgets and gear OR that treasure hunting is an actual occupation held by gleeful murderers OR that a small child can go through his basement into Hell itself….
            I’m like “Okay, glad you told me the rules are different here”.

          • YoDude

            Resident Evil is lackluster for plot. Always has been. Shit doesn’t make sense.

            BUT that’s okay. Because the games were about having a good time.

            I can appreciate the movies for the same reason. It’s ridiculous but it revels in it to the point it’s over the top and that works.

            I always found MGS yoo over the top. Maybe it’s because when I think of military shit I get all serious and hateful. MGS even did stuff that I support with its themes of antiviolence and hypocritical agendas dictating soldiers being thrown away for no reason. But then it does fucking anime psychic magical powers bullshit and my brain goes “what in the fuck”.

            Anyways. My point is that everyone’s bullshit detector is different, what one can tolerate may not be the same. Let’s just all agree that video games and movies are generally pretty stupid.

          • drownedsummer

            Which is just a science version of a wizard did it. MGS is pretty much the same.

  • goodbyejojo

    *JIM’s HORN IMPRESSION
    FUN FACT OF THE DAY!

    did you know?

    the final fight sequence involving Wesker vs the Redfield siblings has been directly lifted shot for shot from the RE5 cutscene involving Wesker vs Chris and Sheeva?

  • goodbyejojo

    this movie has directly copied the cutscene from RE5 involving Wesker vs Chris and Sheva and repackaged it as its own finale.

    • Lies That Bind

      All that was missing from the movie was button prompts

  • bimmyz

    i think these movies are to blame for RE6 short comings, CAPCOM musta thought, hmm, people really like RE for its bombast, so lets give them one!

    • LazyAza

      These movies specifically have indeed influenced bits and pieces of the
      games over the years and vice versa but I would say RE6 wasn’t the mess
      it was solely for that reason it was more a general creative direction
      that wasn’t well thought out. Even the terrible films aren’t to blame for that really.

      They could have easily had a more action packed shooter type game and still not included all the janky segments, reused levels and awful quicktime garbage. All of that was directly on capcom for failing to understand what makes good 3p
      action games good. All the really needed to do was continue to evolve and polish the model established with RE4 and 5 was pretty much that so its bizarre 6 didn’t just evolve from there directly.

    • Morgoth

      Nah. Capcom screwed that pooch on their own.

      • OctopussGrift

        Capcom does not deserve to be let off the hook for screwing up RE6.
        To be fair to the movies RE4 took some cues from the movies and it is the best one (although I haven’t played 7 yet.)

  • RuRiK_87

    Milla destroyed the $100.000 camera because Paul Anderson told her to swing a shotgun towards the lens and she accidentally hit it

  • boylandtheliberator

    Hate to the one who does this and does the fact check thing. but where does Conrad get his cinemas are dying facts from. Cause 2015 was the highest grossing year for cinema in history and 2016 was a slight decline but not by much on projections 2017 q1 says it will eb similar surely there be less.

    • Chris Schwartz-Brown

      Yes, and almost none of that money goes to theatres, which is what he’s referring to. The studio’s keep ninety plus percent of ticket sales opening week and then slowly allow theaters to keep more each week after, and this at a time when movies often only have one or two big weeks during the peak seasons. Add in the cost of extremely expensive digital projection and 3d that the studios force on them and they aren’t making anything like the money they used to.

      It’s why you see smaller chains dying off while a handful of larger chains survive. Add in the need to compete with home viewing and you see why so many studios are trying things like recliners and serving drinks and food at your seat.

      All you need to look at is the number of times the average American goes to the movie. Gross on ticket sales means nothing since ticket prices are also the highest they’ve ever been. But the number of tickets an average person buys per year has been declining steadily for more than a decade, with most people only going to a theater four or five times a year where that used to be more than once a month. So Conrad is right, theaters, or cinemas as he referred to them as, are a slowly dying industry.

      • George

        Interestingly, this is also occurring with bars/clubs/pubs. I think what’s pushing this change in behaviour is a loss of purchasing power on the part of todays generation.

        I wonder how independent cinemas are doing in North America?

        Also, apparently movie theatres are doing quite well and expanding in China. I don’t know how true that is though.

        • Chris Schwartz-Brown

          That’s one hundred percent true, and it’s why the studios don’t care that much about domestic theaters and ticket sales. We’re only a couple years away from China and South America being more important markets than the US for movies. It’s already true that a lot of movies we consider bombs her do so well overseas that it doesn’t matter.

          • YoDude

            I never understood why but it seems like South America and Asia have been stuck in the 80’s since I was born. Which comicidentally was in the 90’s.

            They love shitty movies and weird af plot lines mostly about hurting things.

          • Landy Alexander

            I think action movies just have a much easier time jumping the cultural/language gap. Most east Asian movies we get in the US are Kung fu, gun fu and samurai movies, because there’s less complicated dialogue to translate and violence being universal.

          • Chris Schwartz-Brown

            It’s the same as what happened with Hong Kong in previous decades. They learned martial arts movies could still in the West, so that’s what they started making in large numbers. Now, we’ve learned super heroes still well in China, so that’s all we’ll be making for a while.

          • George

            I live in Canada and our Theatre distribution network is manage primarily by American companies. I like to think that if these cinema chains die that it will leave more of a space for independent theatres to thrive in. So even though the Cinima as a North American business is in trouble, I hope that film as an art form will actually do better….this may just be wishful thinking but one can hope right?

          • Chris Schwartz-Brown

            That’s not how basic business works though. Small companies can’t absorb costs the same way, so short of some major paradigm shift, small and independent theaters die, one or two massive chains that can afford to run theaters at lower and lower margins gobble everything up while lowering quality and raising prices on consumers for all the non ticket things you buy, and fewer and fewer people go to the movies and instead watch them from home. No one is questioning film as an art, it’s the business model of movie theaters that will die unless something changes. And studios have no incentive to care since we are less important as consumers than Chinese movie goers, so movies will shift more and more to cater to them rather than us. They already are, why else are so many action movies made and so few pure comedies? Because comedy is harder to translate into other languages than explosions.

          • George

            I’m hoping for the paradigm shift. Small independent theatres tend to sell a very different product than the large chains. If more large chains die then these indi theatres with their low budget Canadian Comedies and art house films, will become a more viable option for someone who wants to see a movie. Especially since their ticket prices are also much lower in many cases.

            Although most Canadian movies are pretty crappy…Case in point Resident evil: Afterlife.

      • boylandtheliberator

        Well I talking about cinema takings not in general not dvd sales etc. Now if Conrad was right we should see it declining across the board we don’t. The average world cinema audience has been growing since 1996 were ti was at its peek low. THe lack fo event movies which ended with titanic and such movies though ther were brief sparks like jurrasic park.. Now 3d is dying I will agree with you reason why most films aren’t made in 3d anymore. Digital is being cut out for film or both beign shown. The great critic mark Kermode has made the point hat bothfilm and digital. Now hiopefully with Nolan and others

        • Chris Schwartz-Brown

          Then you’re talking about the wrong thing. Conrad meant Cinemas, as in the places people go to see movies. Movie theaters. And he meant in the US presumably. US and British move theaters are dying, he’s right about that. The rest of what you’re saying makes no sense as an argument to that. Theaters are not making money, studios are.

          • boylandtheliberator

            I am talking about cinema going which isn’t dying out as many people went to the cinema as last year all time high was 2015. We have the numbers niow if he wa ruiight we wouldsee a dropp off year on year. We don’t actually we see the opposite. I can ige yout he raw number s if you wish for cinema going even independent cinemas are still on going.

          • Chris Schwartz-Brown

            It is clearly not worth trying to convince you. You’re taking ticket sales when theaters don’t make any money from ninety percent of ticket sales. Movie studios are doing fantastic. Movie theaters are suffering.

  • George

    Regarding the whole, “…because the movie needed it to happen…” thing. I think it’s a modern Deus Ex Machina. In that it’s a contrived event or power that shows up to resolve the plot in some way. It’s just done in a lot of these movies on a mini but multiple scale.

    Also, This episode made me laugh a lot thanks.

    • Ruby

      Deus ex machina was my first thought too.

    • Nemesis_Hunter

      I think it should just be called Nanomachines

      • George

        Yes! Yes! Yes!

  • Rachel McVeigh

    Great podcast, but the most important thing was when Jim mentioned the 4K version of 5th Element. I lost my DVD of it and have been looking for a blueray or another copy but it is impossible to find.

    Where did Jim get it? Inquiring minds need to know!

  • ManuOtaku

    I did stop watching the movies since the fourth one. That is when they lost me, incredible coincidence that it is the same for the games. Hope it changes with 7, though ( I mean the game).

  • Landy Alexander

    So are they doing games based off non video games? I would love to see them watch Clue, and suffer through Battleship.

    Also my suggestion for ‘events happening because we need them for the plot’ is ‘Warcrafting it’.

    • ConradZimmerman

      I love Clue so much. I’m hoping the new movie based on it isn’t a complete disaster, but it’s sounding a lot like Rat Race.

    • Nitrium

      If they started doing board games they’d have to do Dungeons & Dragons too. I suspect these would only be on the cards once they’ve completely exhausted their original mandate of movies either based on, inspired by, or featuring as a key plot point, video games.

  • Lachlan Pease

    Regarding “events happening because the movie needed something to happen”, I call it “Deus Ex Fuckery”

  • Indymonster

    Am I the only one who noticed the “4 years later”-text that showed up between the zooming out when the lights where going out, and zooming back in and seeing the guards on the roof? So obviously the whole opening scene, though it was way too long and didn’t make much sense, happened 4 years before attack of the Alice-clones happened. So I guess they decided to show how the apocalypse started in Tokyo for some unknown reason.

  • Lies That Bind

    I’ve heard things happening in a movie because they needed to happen as an asspull.

  • Lies That Bind

    Also I wanted to mention this back on pixels but I like how Jim is doing his facts now in that it’s referencing/making fun of the movie or series the movie boys are talking about. I think it’s a good fit despite the fact it isn’t as lit as those memes from way back when fam

    • George

      The new fact intro is also really good!!! I agree.

  • Sam

    Dunno how she shot a camera, but they don’t only use blanks when filming movies. For example, Brandon Lee we accidentally shot and killed on the set of The Crow when the left over bullet from a dummy cartridge became wedged in the barrel of a revolver, and in a later scene that same gun was loaded with blanks, which when combined with the stuck bullet basically added up to a live round.

    • Rachel McVeigh

      As I understand it, she didn’t shoot it. She throw a shotgun at the camera for one of the slow mo 3D shots and it hit the camera

  • Frank

    I found the first Resident Evil movie rather bland,
    Then I watched the second one, and thought that it made the first one look like Citizen Kane.
    Stopped watching RE-Movies after that.

  • OctopussGrift

    I have always thought the Resident Evil movies were watchably bad. Then again I don’t have any strong affection toward the games, so I don’t have the massive feeling of betrayal over the movies not being like the games.

  • pg

    If you guys are enjoying this Good Wesker,you are going SO PISSED to when you what they did to him in Final Chapter…

  • Steven Llambias

    Something done just because the movie needed it? Sounds like Bullshit ex Machina to me.

  • Nitrium

    Only images <5MB can be posted directly, and Jim has disallowed proper links on this site making posting of external links very annoying. Still, for Conrad:
    http://s20(DOT)postimg(DOT)org/n87mdah3h/Afterlife.gif (replace (DOT) with . ).
    Also as other's have said, the movie term is deus ex machina: https://en(DOT)wikipedia(DOT)org/wiki/Deus_ex_machina

  • Nitrium

    I just watched Wing Commander in prep for next time’s episode. Jebus it’s bad. The film, effects, sets (including the all the tech) looks very 80’s (e.g. the on screen graphics and all the large push buttons and dials). And why are almost all the ceilings in this film too low for people to walk under?
    Roberts seemed to be going for “Top Gun in space” and utterly fails. Freddie Prinze Jr. has the Tom Cruise role but he’s such a lousy actor he’s just painful to watch – how he was ever a thing is baffling. Saffron Burrows is the only good thing in this entire film (so beautiful; such a talent).
    Needless to say, looking very forward to the next episode!

    • Rueben Jones

      I’m actually really excited for this one, it’s a movie I’ve seen many times as a kid before I could distinguish the difference between exciting and good, and even then it was pretty iffy, but it holds a special place in my heart as a so-terrible it’s actually kind of incredible film. I would argue that Jurgen Prochnow and Tcheky Karyo steal the entire show, eating up scenery like it’s made of candy floss.

      But I had a point I was going to try and make. The movie was meant to be Submarines But In Space, so while the Top Gun analogy isn’t too far off, it’s more like Flight of the Navigator or Hunt for Red October. They lean so hard on naval tropes in the film that they actually worry about the enemy hearing them singing in space! Which is the best bad writing ever.

      • Nitrium

        Yes I totally see the submarine references: there is a scene with a sort of sonar ping (and everyone is told to be very quiet, despite the fact that sound cannot travel whatsoever in a vacuum!) and “depth charges” while they are hiding in the asteroid crater. Also firing at an enemy ship using broadside cannons, screams naval rather than airforce. I’ll amend my description as Roberts going for Top Gun AND Hunt for Red October AND classic ship movie in spaaaaaaaace.

    • George

      I just finished rewatching it too! I remember being 13-14 and having the biggest crush on Freddie Prinze Jr. and (I’m ashamed to admit) Mathew Lillard. But now I watch it and yeah… the movie is just so bad. haha

      I’m looking forward to the next episode too!

    • drownedsummer

      That was why I enjoyed it. The film is very nineties as it features Lillard in the exact same role he played every other film at the time. It also has quite a few very good character actors in it like David Suchet & David Warner.

      I didn’t finish it but I was amused by how long it goes without even featuring the Kilrathi.