I’ve already explained why I think Overwatch‘s loot system is absolutely terrible. You’re welcome to agree or disagree (and many of you have been very vocal either way) but there’s one thing that cannot be denied, one universal truth that you must acknowledge.
I have the shittest fucking luck with these wretched things.
The header image is a collection of wet garbage that I obtained last week, but tonight was simply incredible. Three loot boxes painstakingly unlocked through play – three piles of complete toss.
So this was the first disappointment of the night. There’s a reason I call Overwatch‘s cuboid extinguishers of hope Spray Boxes, and you’re looking at it.
Just let your eyes drink in this worthless filth. Three sprays and a stupid profile logo that does absolutely fuck-all. They’re not even good sprays, either. They look like shit.
This is probably the worst Loot Box anybody’s ever had.
Still, there’s always next time, huh? It could take an hour if things go bad, but it’ll surely be worth it.
Not a skin in sight, but it makes up for that with another useless fucking icon for my stupid fucking profile and TWO voice lines. Imagine if someone had paid for this box. Paid for a jpeg and a couple of mp3s.
Oh, and currency. A tiny amount of currency that shouldn’t even be in these stupid trash baskets.
It was at this point that I decided I’d write an overly dramatic article about the evening’s unlocks if the next Loot Box sucked.
Oh huh, the next Loot Box sucked!
At the VERY least we got a skin out of the bargain, though I hesitate to call the more common low-effort recolors “skins” of any sort.
Also it’s for Widowmaker, a character I never play.
BUT HEY AT LEAST I’VE GOT TWO NEW SPRAYS SORRY I MEAN ONE NEW SPRAY BECAUSE I GOT A DUPLICATE!
AT LEAST I GOT FIVE COINS FROM THE DUPLICATE HA HA WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE ONE DAY!
If you think I’m flying off the handle just because I got three worthless unlocks in a row, please bear in mind that this is what nearly ALL of the shitting things have looked like for me since I started playing.
I’m level 33 now. That’s 33 rolls of the dice, and so far I’ve managed to uncover one single “legendary” skin for D.Va.
Beyond that, I’ve got a handful of the palette swap skins – and I mean a laughably small amount- with the rest being sprays and voice lines. Mostly sprays, because these are Spray Boxes.
Even if I was inclined to purchase microtransactions for premium games, I’d never consider doing it for this game. Not with such clumps of complete and utter wank being tossed before me like a fistful of severed dicks.
Anyway, that mildly annoyed me tonight.