The Jimquisition: Zombies, Spider Heads, Hammers, And Menus

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The Jimquisition takes time out from personal, embittered, GAF thread-locking drama topics and reheats a favorite kitchen dish – let’s slow roast some asset flips for maximum flavor!

From familiar zombies to a tragic arachnid with a great past and no future, we look at the most overused assets money can buy, and warn Steam Direct to look for the telltale signs of a bad, bad developer.

Bonus Segment: Oh Ubisoft

(“March of the Sterling Jester” cover by Nathan Hanover: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gd8nE8TN5xQ

UnitZ reactions compiled by Ruslidmit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3PpXsax-sQ)

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Metabombed: Mass Effect: Andromeda Is ‘Pure SJW Propaganda’

It’s a new Mass Effect, so you know what means – it’s time for everyone to behave like it’s 28 Days Later!

Yes, Mass Effect: Andromeda is the latest game from BioWare, a studio with a ton of fans who seem to be angry all of the time. This latest installment has certainly given rise to some outrage, with poor dialog, unpopular gameplay mechanics, and character animations that range from hilarious to ghastly.

Also, apparently “liberalism” is the reason this happened? What a time to be alive!

Do you think this game got Metabombed? Oh friend, they’re Metabombing the shit out of this one!

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The Jimquisition: Why Horizon: Zero Dawn‘s Success Is Good No Matter Who You Are

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I realize this will reinforce the “Sony Shill” thing (which is ironic if you’ve known me long enough to remember when I was the “anti-Sony bias Nintendo shill”), but Horizon: Zero Dawn‘s success is worth talking about.

The game’s doing well, and while those who loyally defend plastic machinery might think otherwise, that’s a good thing for everybody. Yes, even if you’re putting all your stock in the Switch.

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The Sad Ghost War Between Breath of the Wild And Horizon: Zero Dawn

The frenzy surrounding The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild is a whole new level of fan overreaction, and this is coming from someone who’s seen what happens when you say Uncharted isn’t perfect.

When they’re not busy launching DDoS attacks against outlets that didn’t like the game as much as they did, they’re being really very angry at Horizon: Zero Dawn, a game with very little connection to Zelda but has become a popular target of BotW‘s most delirious fanbabies.

Both games are huge open world experiences, and both are exclusive to particular consoles. This is of course a recipe for disaster where the two games were destined to be compared in the most vitriolic ways imaginable. Plenty of Nintendo’s zealots were furious when they learned of my own highly favorable review, and if you believe them, Zero Dawn‘s fanbase has had an axe to grind against Breath of the Wild for a long time.

The reality, however, is not quite as these wearers of green, pointy, tinfoil-lined hats would lead you to believe.

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