The House Of The Dead 2 Remake - Don't Come, Don't Come (Review)

The House of the Dead 2 Remake

Released: August 7th, 2025 (PC)

Developer: MegaPixel Studio

Publisher: Forever Entertainment

Systems: PC, PS5, Switch (reviewed), Xbox X/S

What is The House of the Dead 2 without its legendarily bad voice acting? What is it without the deadpan reactions to violent death, the squeaky demon with its blatantly incorrect inflection, or the lady screaming “don’t come, don’t come,” in campy quasi-fear? What is it without the veritable font of memes that is Goldman? 

It’s The House of the Dead 2 Remake, a game that felt the original version would be better off without what is arguably its defining trait and undoubtedly its most entertaining. 

Not my Goldman.

What’s weird about the redub is that it’s still really fucking terrible. They didn’t improve it one little bit but they did make it less camp so it’s not fun anymore. Surely you’d want to either get better actors or lean into it for laughs, right? MegaPixel Studio does neither, dragging it down from funny bad to just bad.

Baffling. Utterly, utterly baffling. 

Don't worry, the cursor doesn't have to be as big and yellow as I made it.

For the most part, this is a faithful recreation of the lightgun original with the same gameplay, level layouts, and boss fights. If you played the first game’s remake, you know the deal - it’s the rail shooter you remember with a contemporary graphical overhaul. Just like that first release, it should have been a double bill, with both of these games remastered and sold as one item.

See, the problem with arcade rail shooters is very few of them offer much game when they’re divorced from a format reliant upon killing players quickly and guzzling their quarters. While the levels have branching paths, they still follow the same story beats, feature the same bosses, and conclude after an incredibly short campaign. Variety is hardly abundant. 

I love a good rail shooter, and House of the Dead is a true classic of the genre, but it almost feels like cheating to release the first two games separately. For as brief as it is, the boss fights start to feel really tedious once you've played a handful of times, and the general repetition makes subsequent replays an increasingly tiresome prospect.

I wish more guys looked at me like this.

Nevertheless, the bulk of the action is a laugh while it lasts. Though it can’t hold my attention for more than an hour at a time, it’s never a bad idea to have a House of the Dead game on hand to provide quick disposable entertainment as needed. I suppose this purchase will pay for itself over a period of years. 

Funnily enough, I replayed the Wii port just a few weeks ago, and if I’m honest I think I’ll always choose that version over this one when I want a basic House of the Dead 2 experience. Both games offer the same amount of shooty fun, but the original graphics and “better” voice acting hit just right. They offer the nostalgia trip that an approximation, however faithful, just can’t capture. 

Check out the cum gutters on these lads.

What doesn’t help is the amount of configuration needed to make it playable on the Switch. Stick aiming is stodgy, gyroscope aiming is twitchy, and either choice will necessitate multiple trips to the settings menu in order to get something that feels halfway decent. I’m not sure it’s possible to ever get it feeling any better than grudgingly acceptable. 

The aiming cursor can drift during play, to intensely noticeable degrees. It seems as if little has been done to mitigate the issues that arise from emulating a lightgun experience without a remote sensor involved. There’s a reason why one Nintendo console got all the lightgun ports and the others didn't - emulating that kind of game with a gyroscope really takes work.

MegaPixel ought to know this, since their first House of the Dead Remake did handle itself decently. I decided to try it again after Impulse Gamer noted the discrepancy, and holy shit! Everything about HotD Remake’s handling is vastly superior to the sequel, immediately more comfortable and accurate. It also has touchscreen play and aim assist, two things the new one lacks. 

Beats working for Skeletor.

Visually, this one’s exactly in line with the first release. While the graphics are objectively “better” than the classic arcade original, they’re not actually that great by modern standards. For all the effort to redo environments and character models, it would probably have been a better idea to simply remaster the original with a classy HD upgrade. I will say that I like a handful of the new creature designs better - the Heirophant in particular is an improvement, with a fishier appearance that suits it more.  

Additional gameplay offerings are thin on the ground. You’ve got the main campaign, Training Mode, and Boss Mode, the latter being something I can’t imagine ever wanting to play - I’m not one to have ever been fond of House of the Dead’s bosses, but most of 2’s are particularly unappealing. 

Inflating the heads is always funny. Always.

Unlockables and cheats offer some extra flavor at least, enough to make me play a little longer than I otherwise would have. As well as cute cosmetic changes like a classical “big head” mode, you can unlock a number of different weapons including a toy gun, crossbow, and grenade launcher. 

By the way, I appreciate that these games let you disable reloading as a requirement - it may make things far easier, but for extended play it’s so much less annoying. More to the point, since you’ll be constantly pressing a button to recalibrate the cursor, turning off reloads feels like a fair trade.  

You can toggle between the original soundtrack and a brand new version. I don’t have a preference here, since the series’ music has never really jumped out at me beyond one or two tracks. Either choice is decidedly okay. 

Relax, don't do it, don't come, don't come!

House of the Dead Remake’s enemy-spewing Horde Mode is conspicuously absent, but that’s not all that got lost in the time between these two games. I’m so glad I redownloaded the first remake while drafting this review, because I hadn’t appreciated the size of the step that’s been taken down. 

As well as better controls with more options, House of the Dead Remake has a photo mode, stats, and a better designed gallery with a clearer layout and more camera controls to get a good look at character models. Direct comparison is absolutely damning for House of the Dead 2’s treatment.

Replay enough times and you'll get so sick of these assholes.

A full remake of either this or the first is just overegging the pudding, at least if said remake is a simple recreation. They come off as truly unnecessary, if not completely redundant, beyond the fact you can’t play the proper versions quite as conveniently. Even then, if you’ve got a Wii in easy reach, you truly don’t need this. You can get that particular post for three quid at CEX. 

Whatever one’s feelings on the necessity to the thing, one fact remains immutable - The House of the Dead 2 Remake is The House of the Dead 2 without literally the most important aspect of The House of the Dead 2. 

Max Deadroom.

An utterly ill-advised redub is just one of several puzzling disappointments. The House of the Dead Remake wasn’t perfect, but it tried a lot harder, with better controls and more features. By stark contrast, this is a wonky and flimsy followup that has no excuse for playing worse and delivering less. 

Oh, and the first remake’s on sale for $2.49 right now, so if you wanted just one of these games, the choice is bloody obvious.

5/10